101 Microsoft Jokes

In the fast-paced world of technology and computing, Microsoft has been a dominant player for decades, revolutionizing the way we interact with computers and the digital world. While the company has undoubtedly earned respect for its contributions, it hasn’t been immune to jokes and humorous jibes.

As they say, laughter is the best medicine, and Microsoft jokes have provided plenty of light-hearted amusement to both tech enthusiasts and casual users alike. From witty quips about Windows mishaps to clever puns involving Bill Gates and Microsoft products, these jokes showcase a playful side to the tech giant that we all know and use.

Top 101 Microsoft Jokes:

1. Why don’t Microsoft employees like to play hide-and-seek? Because no one wants to hide in the Windows.
2. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.
3. Why did the computer go to therapy? Because it had a bad case of Windows.
4. Why did the PC break up with Microsoft? It was tired of its control issues.
5. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
6. What’s Microsoft’s favorite song? “It’s All About The Pentiums!”
7. How do Microsoft executives keep their balance? By keeping their Windows on both sides of their office.
8. Why does Microsoft like a leaky faucet? Because it keeps the Windows fresh.
9. How does Bill Gates enter his house? He uses “Windows”.
10. What does Bill Gates do when he gets lost? He looks for the Windows.
11. What does Microsoft use to make their donuts? Dough.net!
12. How did the Microsoft engineer get out of the locked room? He just used Windows.
13. Why was the computer cold at the coffee shop? Because it left its Windows open.
14. What is Microsoft’s beverage of choice? Windows “Pour-t”.
15. How does Microsoft Word propose marriage? It just goes down on one document.
16. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide.
17. Why do Microsoft employees never get sunburnt? Because they work in the shade of Windows.
18. What do you call a bunch of Microsoft Office Assistants at a football match? A Clippy hanger.
19. Why do programmers prefer iOS over Windows? They’d rather Apple-pick than Window-shop.
20. What does Microsoft serve at its cafeteria? Mostly cookies and cached food.
21. How did Microsoft Excel become a private investigator? It’s great at spreadsheets!
22. Why did Microsoft Windows get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its tabs in order.
23. How do Microsoft engineers keep their coffee hot? They close all the Windows.
24. Why did the software engineer go broke? Because he used up all his cache on Windows.
25. What do you call a laptop that can sing? A Dell.
26. Why don’t secrets work in Microsoft? Because Windows can’t keep anything confidential.
27. How does Microsoft Word defeat its enemies? It takes them out with a quick “Save As”.
28. How does Bill Gates start a fight? By smashing Windows.
29. Why was the computer so good at poker? Because it always has a great hand with Windows.
30. Why do we rarely tell secrets on Microsoft computers? Because they have too many Windows for leaks.
31. Why is Microsoft a fashion trendsetter? They’ve made blue screens and hourglasses in style.
32. What’s the most musical part of a computer? The Windows key.
33. What’s Microsoft’s favorite exercise? Running Windows.
34. Why did the computer always carry an umbrella? Because of all the Windows.
35. What’s Bill Gates’ favorite piece of clothing? Windows-pane trousers.
36. Why did the scarecrow get promoted at Microsoft? Because he was outstanding in his Windows field.
37. What do you call a cat who can use a computer? A Microsoft Office pet.
38. How does Microsoft make their coffee? They brew it in their Java Windows.
39. How does Bill Gates catch fish? He uses Windows’ Net.
40. Why did the Microsoft document go to school? Because it wanted to Excel.
41. How does Bill Gates play poker? He raises the Windows stakes.
42. Why was the computer a great architect? It had excellent Windows designs.
43. Why did the computer bring a sweater? Because it didn’t want to catch a Windows draft.
44. How does a computer catch a fish? With its phishing Windows.
45. Why did the computer take its glasses off? Because it wanted to clean its Windows.
46. Why did the PC go to the optician? It had blurry Windows.
47. What do you call a fight between Microsoft engineers? A Windows showdown.
48. What do you call an Irish computer? Patty O’Windows.
49. Why was the PC so relaxed? Because it had easy Windows.
50. How do computers drink their beer? Straight out of Windows.
51. Why was the computer late for work? Because it had Windows updates.
52. What do Microsoft and a broken pencil have in common? They both have no point without Windows.
53. Why did the computer get sent to the principal’s office? It wouldn’t stop opening new Windows.
54. How does Microsoft Word get high? It uses a space bar.
55. Why did the PC refuse to enter the haunted house? It didn’t want to see any ghost Windows.
56. What do you call an alligator that uses Windows? An Internet Explorer.
57. What’s the difference between Microsoft and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
58. How do computers stay fit? By running Windows.
59. Why do computers have trouble losing weight? Because of too many bytes.
60. Why are computers so smart? Because they listen to their motherboard.
61. What do you call a computer that can sing? A-Dell.
62. What does a computer do when it gets too hot? It opens Windows!
63. Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no connection.
64. What does a computer eat for a snack? Microchips.
65. Why was the computer freezing? It left Windows open.
66. How do you know your computer is overweight? It has a lot of extra bytes.
67. What is a computer’s favorite beat? The hard drive.
68. What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard? A screensaver!
69. Why was the computer cold? It left Windows open!
70. What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
71. Why was the computer in school? It was learning to compute.
72. Why did the computer go to therapy? It had a lot of unresolved Windows issues.
73. How do computers get drunk? They take screenshots.
74. Why don’t computers pass their English class? They struggle with syntax errors.
75. Why do computers make good artists? Because they have a lot of palettes.
76. Why don’t computers get lost? Because they use Windows to find their way.
77. What’s a computer’s favorite dance move? The disc-o.
78. Why did the computer apply for a job? It had the right Windows of opportunity.
79. How do computers keep fit? They do hard drive exercises.
80. Why do computers make lousy pets? They’re all bytes and no bark.
81. How do computers eat their food? Bite by byte.
82. What do you call a row of computers in an office? A databank.
83. Why do computers love to play tennis? Because they can always make a good server.
84. Why did the computer go on a date? It was looking for a byte to eat.
85. Why did the computer break up with its girlfriend? She had too many Windows into his life.
86. Why did the computer go to the gym? To get a byte of exercise.
87. What do computers do on a beach? Surf the net.
88. Why did the computer never argue with its wife? It didn’t want to have a bytes fight.
89. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
90. What is a computer’s favorite food? Bytes and chips.
91. Why don’t computers ever get lost? They always keep a Windows tab on their location.
92. Why did the computer visit its therapist? It was dealing with a lot of memory issues.
93. What’s a computer’s favorite pickup line? Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.
94. Why don’t computers take their hats off? They have bad data-bald spots.
95. What do you call a computer superhero? A screensaver!
96. How do computers talk to each other? They use gigabytes.
97. What is a computer’s favorite game? Hide and hard disk seek.
98. How did the computer fix its hearing problem? It installed a new sound card.
99. Why did the computer go to the beach? It wanted to surf the Internet.
100. Why did the computer join a band? Because it had the keys.
101. What’s a computer’s favorite animal? A RAM.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Microsoft jokes offer a delightful way to poke fun at the quirks and occasional frustrations that come with using technology, reminding us that even the most significant companies in the world are not above humor. As we navigate the ever-evolving landscape of technology, it’s essential to remember that laughter can be a unifying force, bridging the gap between experienced tech enthusiasts and casual users.

So the next time you encounter a Windows update or encounter a software glitch, perhaps these lighthearted Microsoft jokes will bring a smile to your face and make the tech journey all the more enjoyable. After all, even in the realm of cutting-edge computing, a good laugh is always welcome!