137 kansas jokes

  1. Why don’t basketball teams in Kansas have a website? Because they can’t string three “Ws” together.
  2. Why did the scarecrow from Kansas get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  3. Why don’t people in Kansas play hide and seek? Because no one would ever hide there!
  4. What’s the only thing that grows in Kansas? The population of people wanting to leave!
  5. Why did the Kansas tornado break up with the hurricane? Because it got tired of going in circles!
  6. Why did the tomato turn red in Kansas? Because it saw the salad dressing and realized it wasn’t ranch!
  7. Why was Kansas so good at the game of Risk? They have experience with flat surfaces!
  8. What’s a Kansan’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about plains!
  9. Why do people in Kansas always carry a map? Because they are always in the middle of nowhere!
  10. How does a Kansan keep cool in the summer? They tell themselves they could be in Texas!
  11. What’s the best thing about Kansas? When you look to the west, you can see all the way to tomorrow!
  12. Why did the man from Kansas go to New York? He heard they have real hills!
  13. Why do Kansas folk hate knock-knock jokes? Because they always involve going outside!
  14. Why was the Kansan football team like a possum? Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  15. Why did the cookie cry in Kansas? Because his mom was a wafer too long!
  16. What do you call a sophisticated person in Kansas? A tourist!
  17. Why did the Kansan refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? He was afraid of cheetahs!
  18. Why do Kansans have TGIF on their shoes? Toes Go In First!
  19. How do Kansans count cows? They use a Cowculator!
  20. What’s a Kansan’s idea of a balanced diet? A barbecue in each hand!
  21. Why was Kansas the best state at the spelling bee? Because it’s always in the middle!
  22. What do Kansans and clouds have in common? They both hang out over the plains!
  23. How do you know you’re from Kansas? When you know that Manhattan is a town, not just a city in New York!
  24. What does a Kansan do when he wins the lottery? He gets a second tractor!
  25. How can you tell if someone is from Kansas? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you about their state bird within five minutes!
  26. Why do birds fly upside down over Kansas? Because there’s nothing worth pooping on!
  27. Why do Kansans take roundabouts? Because they love going in circles!
  28. What do you call a Kansan with a champagne bottle? A waiter!
  29. Why don’t they make ice cubes in Kansas? Because the person with the recipe moved to Missouri!
  30. How did the Kansan break his leg raking leaves? He fell out of the tree!
  31. Why did the Kansan bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
  32. Why did the Kansan stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate.”
  33. What’s a Kansan’s favorite type of music? Anything but country!
  34. Why did the Kansan get kicked out of the cookie shop? He took a bite out of the cookie cutter!
  35. How does a Kansan get to the top floor? By elevator, they’ve got no hills for practice!
  36. Why don’t Kansans play hide and seek with mountains? Because they always peak!
  37. Why did the Kansan bring a scale to the park? He wanted to weigh in on the swing issue!
  38. What do you call a Kansan who can play a musical instrument? Unusual!
  39. Why don’t Kansans play chess? They think it’s too hilly!
  40. Why did the Kansan get excited about the new restaurant? It was the only one within 50 miles!
  41. Why did the Kansan bring an extra pair of pants golfing? In case he got a hole in one!
  42. What do you call a Kansan in a tree with a briefcase? A branch manager!
  43. Why do Kansans always carry an umbrella? Because it might rain… in the next state!
  44. How does a Kansan hold up their pants? With a bible belt!
  45. Why did the Kansan go broke? He spent all his money on topography maps!
  46. Why are Kansans bad storytellers? They only have one plane of existence!
  47. Why did the Kansan farmer get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  48. Why did the Kansan take a nap in the cornfield? He wanted to catch up on his ears!
  49. What do you call a Kansan who can play the piano? A Miracle!
  50. Why do Kansans make bad detectives? They can’t handle any ups and downs in a case!
  51. What do Kansans use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars!
  52. How do you know when a Kansan has been in your backyard? Your corn is missing and there are flat tire tracks everywhere!
  53. Why don’t Kansans make good bakers? They can’t rise to the occasion!
  54. How do you know you’re at a Kansan wedding? Everyone’s sitting on the same side of the church!
  55. Why did the Kansan wear his baseball cap to dinner? He wanted to cap off the meal!
  56. What’s a Kansan’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions!
  57. Why was the Kansan excited about the new ground level apartment? It was a step up!
  58. Why did the Kansan put his radio in the refrigerator? He wanted cool music!
  59. Why did the Kansan go to art school? To learn how to draw a hill!
  60. Why did the Kansan bring a spoon to the Super Bowl? He thought it was a soup event!
  61. Why don’t Kansans make good pilots? They can’t handle the ups and downs!
  62. How can you tell a Kansan has been using the computer? There’s White-Out on the screen!
  63. Why don’t Kansans ever play tennis? They can’t handle the racket!
  64. Why did the Kansan take a ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept!
  65. Why do Kansans like smart phones? They finally get to experience some high tech hills!
  66. What’s a Kansan’s idea of high-rise living? Two-story barns!
  67. Why did the Kansan get kicked out of the water park? He couldn’t handle the waves!
  68. Why don’t Kansans make good sailors? They can’t fathom the depths!
  69. Why did the Kansan bring a knife to the gun fight? He heard it was going to be a slice of life!
  70. How do Kansans greet each other? “Hay there!”
  71. What does a Kansan calla deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer!
  72. Why do Kansans always carry a pencil? So they can draw their own hills!
  73. Why did the Kansan wear two jackets when painting the house? In case he needed a second coat!
  74. Why do Kansans have such large families? They figure someone has to make the hills!
  75. Why did the Kansan refuse to play poker in the jungle? He was afraid of cheetahs!
  76. Why are Kansas folk bad at playing poker? Because they can’t bluff!
  77. Why did the Kansan bring a ladder to school? He heard it was a high school!
  78. Why did the Kansan get a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded the dough!
  79. Why do Kansans make bad drummers? They always lose the beat!
  80. How do you make a Kansan laugh on Saturday? Tell them a joke on Wednesday!
  81. Why don’t Kansans like to eat at round tables? They can’t decide which side is the head!
  82. Why did the Kansan get a ticket at the orchestra? He took the conductor’s “Take note” too seriously!
  83. Why did the Kansan bring a lamp to the football game? He heard it was a light match!
  84. Why don’t Kansans make good singers? They can’t hit the high notes!
  85. Why did the Kansan carry a clock? He wanted to have “time on his hands”!
  86. Why did the Kansan bring a bucket to the comedy show? He was expecting a lot of dry humor!
  87. How do you know a Kansan invented the toothbrush? Anyone else would have called it a teethbrush!
  88. Why did the Kansan stare at the Ford? It said Focus!
  89. Why don’t Kansans ever play pool? They’re afraid of sinking!
  90. Why did the Kansan bring a ladder to the bar? He heard that the highballs were on the top shelf!
  91. What does a Kansan call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
  92. Why do Kansans always carry a map? They want to avoid any inclines!
  93. Why did the Kansan always carry a mushroom? Because he heard it was a fungi!
  94. Why did the Kansan take the baseball to school? He wanted to join the ball club!
  95. Why did the Kansan carry a fishing rod to the concert? He heard there would be plenty of bass!
  96. Why did the Kansan carry a photo of a door? He wanted to show his new key!
  97. Why did the Kansan bring an umbrella to the car wash? He wanted to keep his car dry!
  98. Why did the Kansan wear sunglasses to the bank? He didn’t want to be recognized!
  99. Why did the Kansan buy a boomerang? He wanted a frisbee that comes back!
  100. What does a Kansan call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  101. Why did the Kansan bring a camera to the football game? He wanted to capture every shot!
  102. Why did the Kansan bring his cat to the beach? He wanted to teach her to sandpaper!
  103. Why did the Kansan take a nap on the haystack? He wanted to hit the hay!
  104. Why did the Kansan cross the road? To see if there was a hill on the other side!
  105. Why did the Kansan take a paper bag to the football game? He heard it was sack race day!
  106. Why did the Kansan bring a monkey to school? He wanted to show off his class pet!
  107. Why did the Kansan become a gardener? He heard it was the only way to make any real growth!
  108. Why do Kansans like eating at the pancake house? Because everything’s flat, just like back home!
  109. Why did the Kansan bring a spoon to the music festival? He heard there would be a jam session!
  110. Why did the Kansan go to the bakery? He heard they were on a roll!
  111. Why did the Kansan bring a banana to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
  112. Why did the Kansan bring a flashlight to the shoe store? He was looking for a pair of light-up shoes!
  113. Why did the Kansan bring a pillow to the movie? He heard it was a sleeper hit!
  114. Why did the Kansan bring a pen to the stadium? He heard it was a write-off game!
  115. Why did the Kansan put the TV in the freezer? He wanted to watch some cool shows!
  116. Why did the Kansan bring a compass to the party? He heard it was going south!
  117. Why did the Kansan bring a mirror to the bank? He wanted to see some change!
  118. Why did the Kansan bring a ladder to the library? He heard the best books were on the top shelf!
  119. Why did the Kansan bring a paintbrush to the game? He wanted to draw a play!
  120. Why did the Kansan bring a lamp to the camping trip? He didn’t want to be left in the dark!
  121. Why did the Kansan bring a shoe to the party? He heard it was a sneakers event!
  122. Why did the Kansan bring a duck to the exam? He heard it was a quack test!
  123. Why did the Kansan bring a candle to the beach? He wanted to have a light snack!
  124. Why did the Kansan bring a lemon to the concert? He wanted to see a sour note!
  125. Why did the Kansan bring a map to the party? He heard it was going places!
  126. Why did the Kansan bring a drum to the game? He wanted to make some noise!
  127. Why did the Kansan bring a skeleton to the party? He heard it was a bone-voyage party!
  128. Why did the Kansan bring a tomato to the comedy show? He wanted to give a round of sauce!
  129. Why did the Kansan bring a sponge to the party? He wanted to soak up the atmosphere!
  130. Why did the Kansan bring a donkey to the party? He heard it was a kick-back event!
  131. Why did the Kansan bring a microphone to the library? He heard it was a sound check!
  132. Why did the Kansan bring a horse to the game? He heard it was a home-run!
  133. Why did the Kansan bring a cat to the concert? He heard it was a meow-zical event!
  134. Why did the Kansan bring a rabbit to the party? He heard it was a hopping event!
  135. Why did the Kansan bring a guitar to the baseball game? He wanted to play a few strings!
  136. Why did the Kansan bring a tree to the game? He wanted to root for his team!
  137. Why did the Kansan bring a compass to the movie? He heard it was a moving picture!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *