57+ jokes about the eagles

  1. Why don’t eagles ever go to the bank?
    • Because they always keep their cash in the nest egg!
  2. What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?
  3. Why did the eagle break up with the dove?
    • She thought he was too hawk-ward!
  4. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of math?
    • Geome-tree!
  5. What do you call an eagle that’s sick?
    • An illegal!
  6. Why don’t eagles use cell phones?
    • They have their own twitter!
  7. What do eagles use to keep their pants up?
    • Bird-le belts!
  8. Why was the eagle always losing at poker?
    • Because he kept showing his hand too early!
  9. What’s an eagle’s favorite nursery rhyme?
    • Twinkle, twinkle little starling!
  10. Why don’t eagles ever get lost?
    • Because they always take the high road!
  11. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of exercise?
    • Wing-lifts!
  12. What do you call a fashionable eagle?
  13. What’s an eagle’s favorite game?
    • Beak-a-boo!
  14. What did the eagle say when it got really cold?
    • I’m freezing my tail feathers off!
  15. Why did the eagle sit on the church steeple?
    • Because it’s a bird of pray!
  16. How do eagles greet each other?
    • “Hey pal, nice to perch-ya!”
  17. Why did the eagle become a detective?
    • He always was a keen bird watcher!
  18. What’s an eagle’s favorite fruit?
    • Peck-hams!
  19. Why don’t eagles wear shoes?
    • Because they have talon-ted feet!
  20. What kind of key can’t open any door?
    • A tur-key!
  21. Why did the eagle get a time-out?
    • He wouldn’t stop squawking back!
  22. How do eagle’s like their steak?
    • With a-side of squawk-amole!
  23. What do you call a bald eagle with hair?
    • A contradiction!
  24. What do you call an eagle who doesn’t eat meat?
  25. Why did the eagle sit on the clock?
    • To be on “hawk” time!
  26. How does an eagle stop a movie?
    • He hits the “paws” button!
  27. Why did the eagle bring a ladder to the bar?
    • He heard the drinks were on the house!
  28. What do you call a well-behaved eagle?
    • A law-abiding birdizen!
  29. Why do eagles never go to a public pool?
    • Too many peeping toms!
  30. Why was the eagle a good salesman?
    • He always winged his presentations!
  31. What do you call an eagle who’s good at telling jokes?
    • A comedi-hen!
  32. Why don’t eagles like fast food?
    • It’s hard to catch!
  33. What kind of car does an eagle drive?
    • A Beak-W!
  34. Why was the eagle a great baseball player?
    • He knows the importance of a good “catch”!
  35. How does an eagle invite his friends over?
    • “Fly by my place sometime!”
  36. Why don’t eagles ever get locked out?
    • They always carry a spare “tweet”!
  37. Why do eagles make bad secretaries?
    • They always wing it!
  38. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of music?
    • Beak-boxing!
  39. Why don’t eagles write novels?
    • Too many “characters” to keep track of!
  40. What do you call an eagle who can sing?
    • A bird-tenor!
  41. Why was the eagle feeling sick?
    • He had a case of bird flu!
  42. What do you call an eagle at a comedy club?
    • A bird out of joke!
  43. Why was the eagle always stressed?
    • He had too many tweets to manage!
  44. Why don’t eagles make good DJs?
    • They always wing it!
  45. Why don’t eagles like going to dinner parties?
    • They’re scared of roasting!
  46. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of movie?
    • A fly-light zone thriller!
  47. Why did the eagle join the circus?
    • He was a natural high wire performer!
  48. How does an eagle say goodbye to its friends?
    • “Caw-l you later!”
  49. Why do eagles prefer slow food?
    • It’s easier to catch!
  50. What’s an eagle’s favorite day of the week?
    • Fly-day!
  51. Why do eagles always carry a map?
    • To wing their way around!
  52. Why was the eagle always on the internet?
    • He was addicted to online “bird-watching”!
  53. Why don’t eagles use sunblock?
    • They have their own “shade”!
  54. Why did the eagle become an astronaut?
    • He wanted to fly even higher!
  55. What do you call a very large eagle?
    • An eag-ant!
  56. How does an eagle ask for a refill?
    • “Can I have a top squawk, please?”
  57. What do you call a scared eagle?
  58. Why was the eagle good at chess?
    • He always had an eagle-eye on the board!
  59. What do you call an eagle in a rainstorm?
    • A wet-tailed hawk!
  60. Why don’t eagles use umbrellas?
    • They prefer natural “showers”!
  61. Why did the eagle go to therapy?
    • He couldn’t let go of his “tweeting” addiction!
  62. How do you describe an eagle with a toothache?
    • A beak-ache!
  63. What do you call an eagle that can’t fly?
    • A walk-eagle!
  64. What do eagles write their shopping lists on?
    • A “tweet” pad!
  65. Why did the eagle fail his driving test?
    • He only knew how to fly!
  66. Why don’t eagles like to play hide and seek?
    • They’re always spotted!
  67. Why was the eagle a bad chef?
    • He always winged his recipes!
  68. Why did the eagle go to the gym?
    • He wanted to work on his “bird-chest”!
  69. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of candy?
    • “Airheads”!
  70. Why was the eagle a bad comedian?
    • His jokes always flew over everyone’s head!
  71. Why did the eagle refuse to play cards with the cheetah?
    • He suspected fowl play!
  72. What do you call an eagle who doesn’t like to fly?
    • A grounded individual!
  73. What do you call an eagle on a diet?
    • A light-weight flyer!
  74. How does an eagle like his coffee?
    • With a “tweet” of sugar!
  75. Why don’t eagles use computers?
    • They’re afraid of Windows!
  76. Why was the eagle popular at school?
  77. What do you call a very serious eagle?
    • A stern bird!
  78. Why did the eagle become a politician?
    • He wanted to rule the “roost”!
  79. Why did the eagle fail art class?
  80. Why do eagles never play chess?
    • It’s hard to make a “move” with talons!
  81. Why did the eagle go to the opera?
    • He wanted to hear the high “C”s!
  82. What do you call an eagle who’s a great dancer?
    • A bird-jig!
  83. Why do eagles always look so serious?
    • It’s their “nest-ural” expression!
  84. What do you call a newborn eagle?
    • An eaglet, but isn’t that a “tweet” name?
  85. Why did the eagle join a band?
    • He had the best “chirps”!
  86. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of joke?
    • Fly-by-night humor!
  87. How does an eagle like his pizza?
    • In the nest, extra worms!
  88. Why don’t eagles play basketball?
    • They always get called for traveling!
  89. Why did the eagle become a poet?
    • He loved to write in “verses”!
  90. How do eagles get their feathers so shiny?
    • They use “beak” conditioner!
  91. Why did the eagle always wear glasses?
    • He didn’t want to miss a “tweet”!
  92. Why did the eagle become a magician?
    • He loved doing “tricks”!
  93. Why don’t eagles like winter?
    • It’s too “chill” for them!
  94. How does an eagle call his friends?
    • On his “squawk” phone!
  95. Why don’t eagles ever play football?
    • They’re afraid of getting a penalty for “illegal” use of their claws!
  96. What’s an eagle’s favorite type of news?
    • The “tweet” news!
  97. Why did the eagle become a movie star?
    • He loved the “spotlight”!
  98. What do you call an eagle who loves to read?
    • A bookworm-eater!
  99. Why did the eagle always carry a notebook?
    • He loved to “jot” down his thoughts!
  100. How does an eagle stop a fight? – With a peace “squawk”!
  101. Why do eagles make terrible secretaries? – They always “ruffle” through the papers!
  102. Why was the eagle a bad gardener? – He always “flew” over the details!
  103. Why did the eagle join a dating site? – He wanted to meet a “tweet”-heart!
  104. Why did the eagle become a pirate? – He wanted to be a “free bird”!
  105. What do you call an eagle in a blizzard? – A snow bird!
  106. Why don’t eagles like to go to the theater? – The tickets are too “pricy”!
  107. Why did the eagle become a singer? – He wanted to top the “charts”!
  108. Why did the eagle refuse to marry the pigeon? – She was too “flighty”!
  109. Why did the eagle get a ticket? – He was caught “flying” over the speed limit!
  110. Why don’t eagles like to run marathons? – They prefer to “fly” through them!
  111. Why did the eagle become a baker? – He wanted to make “birdseed” bread!
  112. How does an eagle apologize? – “I didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers!”
  113. Why did the eagle become a yoga instructor? – He was good at the “eagle” pose!
  114. What’s an eagle’s favorite TV show? – “Birds of a Feather”!
  115. Why do eagles always win at poker? – They’re good at bluffing with a “poker beak”!
  116. Why did the eagle become a librarian? – He loved to read “fowl” tales!
  117. What do you call an eagle who loves drama? – A bird of play!
  118. Why did the eagle refuse to eat worms? – He didn’t like the “squirm”!
  119. Why did the eagle become a comedian? – He loved to “crack” bird jokes!
  120. Why don’t eagles like elevators? – They prefer to take the “stairs”!
  121. How does an eagle flirt? – “Are you a hawk? Because I’ve got my eye on you!”
  122. Why did the eagle become a lifeguard? – He was good at “flying” to the rescue!
  123. What do you call an eagle with an attitude? – A bird of prey!
  124. Why did the eagle become a tailor? – He had an eye for “suiting” others!
  125. Why was the eagle a bad musician? – He always played in the wrong “key”!
  126. Why don’t eagles like to play soccer? – They’re afraid of “fowl” play!
  127. Why did the eagle go to the concert? – He wanted to see the “band” fly!
  128. Why don’t eagles use vacuum cleaners? – They’re afraid of the “suction”!
  129. How does an eagle like his eggs? – Over “eagle-sy”!
  130. Why did the eagle refuse to race the tortoise? – He was too “slow” for him!
  131. Why did the eagle become a barber? – He was good at “trimming” feathers!
  132. Why did the eagle become a scientist? – He wanted to study “bird” physics!
  133. Why don’t eagles like hot days? – They’re afraid of getting a “sunburn”!
  134. How does an eagle stay in shape? – With “wing” lifting!
  135. Why did the eagle become a model? – He loved the “camera”!
  136. Why was the eagle always tired? – He was always “up” with the sun!
  137. Why did the eagle go to school? – He wanted to learn more about “flight”!
  138. Why did the eagle get a job? – He needed to pay his “bills”!
  139. Why did the eagle become a journalist? – He loved to “write” bird stories!
  140. Why did the eagle become a dancer? – He loved to “fly” on the dance floor!
  141. Why did the eagle always carry a stopwatch? – He liked to time his “flights”!
  142. How does an eagle show his love? – With a “peck” on the cheek!

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