150 hockey puns
- The hockey player was skating on thin ice with his coach.
- Why don’t hockey players ever get hot? Because they always stay near the boards!
- Why did the puck go to the party? Because he wanted to have a smashing time!
- Why did the goalie break up with his girlfriend? She had too many rebounds.
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie up the score!
- Why was the computer good at hockey? It always has the best hard drives.
- The hockey player couldn’t play after he got the cold shoulder.
- Why are hockey players bad at playing hide-and-seek? They always get caught near the net!
- Why did the hockey player go to the bakery? Because he needed a good roll!
- The hockey player turned out to be a smooth skater when he had to face the music.
- He wanted to play defense but he just couldn’t stick with it.
- Why did the hockey game end early? Because they ran out of time-outs!
- Why don’t hockey players drink tea? Because the ice might melt!
- The hockey player’s favorite math operation? The division because it reduces the competition.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite hockey position? Ghoulie.
- The player was in a very puck-uliar mood before the game.
- How do hockey players like their drinks? On the rocks!
- The forward never hesitates to wing it during the game.
- Why was the math book a great hockey player? It had all the right angles.
- The new recruit was such an ice guy, everybody loved him.
- The goalie is an expert in saving more than just pucks.
- What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks!
- Why was the computer a lousy hockey player? It has too many windows.
- Why did the hockey player go to jail? He was caught hooking!
- The player’s favorite holiday? Christmas, because he loves to wrap around.
- Why don’t fish make good hockey players? Because they have trouble getting the pucks out of their nets!
- The defenseman was a real keeper.
- Why do hockey players make good musicians? They have excellent stick control!
- Why don’t hockey players tell secrets on the ice? Because the walls have ears!
- The hockey player’s bakery burned down. His business was toast.
- Why didn’t the zombie make a good hockey player? He kept trying to eat the brains of the other team!
- What do you call a hockey player who’s great at gardening? A puck-ulent lover!
- Why was the hockey player always lost? He kept following the icing.
- Why are hockey players great travelers? They’re always on the go(al)!
- The way he keeps icing the puck, you’d think he was a pastry chef!
- Why don’t hockey players use umbrellas? They’re afraid of getting called for hooking!
- What do hockey players and trees have in common? They both get boarded.
- Why was the hockey player a great baker? Because of all the turnovers.
- Did you hear about the new restaurant called “The Hockey Puck”? Their food is slamming!
- Why was the hockey player great at teaching? He knew how to take his pupils into the zone.
- Why did the hockey player bring a map to the game? He needed to find the net!
- What’s the hockey player’s favorite vegetable? Ice-berg lettuce.
- The hockey player’s favorite board game? Checkers, because he loves to check!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of dog? A puck-er Spaniel!
- Why do hockey players love donuts? They can’t resist the icing!
- Why was the defenseman always so happy? He always cracked up when he heard a good slash.
- The way the hockey player was stickhandling, you would think he was a conductor leading an orchestra.
- Why did the hockey player go to the library? He needed to check out some books!
- Why was the player always cold at the rink? He was constantly surrounded by fans!
- What do hockey players and bakers have in common? They both know how to roll the dough!
- The hockey player’s cooking was so good, it could’ve been a Stanley Cupcake!
- Why are most hockey players good at geometry? They always know the angles.
- Why was the hockey player a great investor? He knew when to take a shot!
- The hockey player’s favorite fruit? The puck-tin!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good check-beat!
- Why was the hockey player always early to practice? He didn’t want to miss the face-off!
- Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To get to the top shelf!
- The player got penalized for illegal equipment – he was packing too much heat!
- Why was the hockey player good at cards? He always knew when to deal.
- Why did the hockey player go to school? He wanted to improve his draft position!
- Why was the hockey player always calm in stressful situations? He was used to being in the box!
- Why are hockey players good at chess? They always know how to checkmate.
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of bird? The penalty hawk!
- The hockey player was known for his great goals, they were a real crowd-pucker.
- Why did the hockey player bring a pencil to the game? He wanted to draw a penalty!
- The player’s favorite type of cheese? Swiss, because he likes to make holes in the defense.
- Why was the hockey player a great author? He knew how to create a fantastic draft.
- Why did the hockey player go to the carnival? He loved the ferris wheel, it reminded him of rotating lines!
- Why do hockey players always carry a spare puck? They don’t want to be caught without a shot!
- Why did the hockey player refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? He was afraid of cheetahs!
- Why do hockey players make good detectives? They always follow their checks.
- The player always loved a sunny day because he loved a good deke-out.
- Why did the hockey player bring a compass to the game? He wanted to find his way to the southern goal!
- The hockey player was a fan of classical music – he loved the score.
- Why did the hockey player bring his dog to the game? He wanted to unleash his potential!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite candy? Puck-er up buttercup!
- The hockey player’s shot was so fast, you’d swear it was rocket puck-elled!
- Why do hockey players always carry an extra stick? In case they get in a sticky situation!
- Why was the hockey player always the last one to leave the party? He didn’t want to miss the last shot!
- Why did the hockey player go to art class? He wanted to draw more than just penalties!
- The player was always on the roll, he was a real puck star!
- Why did the hockey player go to the store? He needed a slap shot of energy!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of cat? A puck-er up kitty!
- Why was the hockey player always on time? He knew the importance of a quick start!
- Why did the hockey player go to the beach? He loved to surf, it was like riding the boards!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite movie? Slap Shot!
- The player loved fishing – he was great at hooking.
- Why did the hockey player always bring an extra puck to the game? He didn’t want to be left in a tough spot!
- Why did the hockey player always look up to the sky during a game? He was looking for the high stick!
- The player’s favorite pet? A pug, because it’s always ready for a face-off!
- Why did the hockey player go to the forest? He wanted to practice his tree-mendous checks!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite breakfast? Anything with a side of checks!
- Why was the hockey player always ready for a game? He knew the importance of being puck-pared!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of cookies? Chip shots!
- The hockey player loved seafood, it reminded him of the deke sea dives!
- Why did the hockey player always stay at the hotel? He loved the suite life!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of car? Anything with a good body check!
- Why was the hockey player always jumping? He was always ready to leap into action!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of drink? Anything on the rocks!
- Why was the hockey player always looking forward to the game? He was always puck-sitive!
- Why did the hockey player always win at poker? He knew when to fold ’em!
- The hockey player’s favorite type of music? Anything with a great score!
- Why did the hockey player always go to the coffee shop? He loved the breakaway blend!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of chocolate? Anything with a solid check-olate flavor!
- The player was always ahead of the game, he knew how to score big.
- Why did the hockey player love the circus? He enjoyed the juggling acts, they reminded him of puck handling!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of weather? Anything icy!
- Why did the hockey player always have a smile on his face? He loved the game, it was that puck-ing simple!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of a joke? The punch line!
- Why did the hockey player love going to the zoo? He enjoyed watching the checks and balances of nature!
- The hockey player’s favorite place to eat? The top-shelf diner!
- Why did the hockey player always use a coaster? He didn’t want to leave any marks on the table!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of nut? Anything with a solid crunch!
- Why did the hockey player always bring an extra pair of socks to the game? He never wanted to be left cold-footed!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of pizza? Anything with extra cheese!
- Why did the hockey player always visit the museum? He enjoyed looking at the art of defense!
- The hockey player loved to read, it was his best form of checking out!
- Why did the hockey player always pack a flashlight? He didn’t want to be left in the dark!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of dessert? Anything with an extra scoop!
- Why was the hockey player always first in line? He never wanted to miss his shot!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of a meal? The main course!
- Why did the hockey player always wear a watch? He knew the importance of time management!
- The hockey player was always calm under pressure, he knew how to keep his cool!
- Why did the hockey player always have an extra pen? He never wanted to miss a good signing!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of bird? Anything that can fly high!
- Why did the hockey player always carry a map? He never wanted to lose his way!
- The hockey player always loved the night sky, it reminded him of the arena lights!
- Why did the hockey player always have a coin in his pocket? He was always ready for a face-off!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of tea? Anything that can cool him down!
- Why did the hockey player always carry a notebook? He never wanted to forget his game plan!
- The hockey player loved to paint, it was his best form of expressing his skills!
- Why did the hockey player always bring a camera? He never wanted to miss a good shot!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of tree? Anything sturdy enough to take a hit!
- Why did the hockey player always wear a hat? He never wanted to miss a good hat trick!
- The hockey player loved to play the guitar, it was his best form of strumming up energy!
- Why did the hockey player always have a towel? He never wanted to slip up!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of fruit? Anything that can give him a quick burst of energy!
- Why did the hockey player always bring a ruler to the game? He knew the importance of measuring his success!
- The hockey player loved to sing, it was his best form of warming up!
- Why did the hockey player always have a mirror? He never wanted to lose sight of his goals!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of sandwich? Anything that can fill him up!
- Why did the hockey player always bring a stopwatch? He knew the importance of timing!
- The hockey player loved to dance, it was his best form of getting his rhythm!
- Why did the hockey player always have an extra jersey? He never wanted to miss a good swap!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of cookie? Anything with a good crunch!
- Why did the hockey player always carry a compass? He never wanted to lose his direction!
- The hockey player loved to swim, it was his best form of cooling down!
- Why did the hockey player always wear sunglasses? He never wanted to be blinded by the spotlight!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of pasta? Anything that can fuel him up!
- Why did the hockey player always carry a notebook? He never wanted to forget a good play!