150 grocery store jokes

  1. Why don’t grocery stores play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always on the corner!
  2. Why did the tomato turn red at the grocery store? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  3. Why did the bread break up with the butter? Because it felt things were getting too spread out!
  4. Why don’t secrets work in a grocery store? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
  5. What does a grocery store and my life have in common? They both have too many unexpected items in the bagging area!
  6. Why did the cucumber become a detective at the grocery store? It had a knack for picking out the dills!
  7. Why was the grocery store clerk bad at playing cards? Because he always checked instead of raising!
  8. What did the cheese say to the grumpy cracker at the grocery store? You need to cheddar up!
  9. Why did the mom take an extra sweater to the grocery store? Because she heard there would be a lot of chili!
  10. What did the bag of flour say to the loaf of bread? “I saw your rise to fame!”
  11. Why do grocery stores always win at chess? Because they always have the checkmate!
  12. Why did the raisin go to the grocery store? Because he wanted to feel like a grape again!
  13. Why was the math book unhappy at the grocery store? Because it had too many problems to add to the cart!
  14. Why don’t grocery stores make good comedians? Because they can’t deliver the punch(line)!
  15. What do you call a lost wolf in a grocery store? A where-wolf!
  16. Why did the lettuce blush at the grocery store? It saw the salad dressing!
  17. What do you call a dangerous sunbeam in the grocery store? A cereal killer!
  18. What did the dairy aisle say to the vegetable aisle? Let’s not milk this feud anymore!
  19. Why don’t eggs play hide and seek in grocery stores? Because they’re afraid of getting cracked up!
  20. Why did the loaf of bread get promoted at the grocery store? Because it’s on a roll!
  21. Why did the canned food refuse to race? Because it knew it would get canned!
  22. Why was the grocery store always quiet? Because it had a policy of silence of the hams!
  23. Why was the celery arrested at the grocery store? For stalking the carrots!
  24. Why did the shopping cart break up with the basket? It felt carried away in the relationship!
  25. Why did the meat buns hide at the back of the grocery store? They didn’t want to meat their maker too soon!
  26. Why don’t you ever see elephants in grocery stores? They’re really good at hiding behind the “E” in aisle!
  27. Why did the spices organize a protest at the grocery store? They wanted to fight for their season!
  28. What do you call a cat that works at a grocery store? A purrveyor of goods!
  29. Why did the grocery store hire a DJ? They wanted to be known for their fresh beets!
  30. Why was the grocery store manager a great poker player? Because he always had a full house!
  31. Why did the orange stop halfway through the grocery store? It ran out of juice!
  32. What did the hot dog say to the hamburger at the checkout? Nice buns!
  33. Why did the onion go to the grocery store? To take a leek!
  34. Why was the grocery store book section always overstocked? Because they couldn’t move the pulp fiction!
  35. Why don’t grocery stores ever get lost? They always know their route to the root vegetables!
  36. Why did the banana go to the grocery store? It wasn’t peeling very well!
  37. Why did the steak sue the grocery store? It had a beef with them!
  38. Why don’t cans ever get cold at the grocery store? Because they are always in a pack!
  39. What’s a grocery store’s favorite type of music? Wrap music!
  40. Why did the grocery store lower its prices? It was trying to liquidate its assets!
  41. What do you call a grocery store for dogs? Barket!
  42. Why did the vegan get lost in the grocery store? She couldn’t find her roots!
  43. What do you call a grocery store that only sells lamps? A light market!
  44. Why was the watermelon sad at the grocery store? It was in a melon-choly mood!
  45. Why don’t shopping carts ever retire? They always keep pushing!
  46. Why was the can of soup sad at the grocery store? It felt condensed!
  47. Why did the bell pepper turn red at the grocery store? It saw the salad dressing!
  48. What’s a grocery store’s favorite day of the week? Sundae!
  49. Why did the coffee file a police report at the grocery store? It got mugged!
  50. What do you call a grocery store that only sells flowers? Blossom & Basket!
  51. What’s a grocery store’s favorite part of a joke? The punch line!
  52. Why did the cereal get arrested at the grocery store? It was a cereal offender!
  53. Why was the apple on its phone at the grocery store? It was updating its status to “fresh”!
  54. Why was the pasta arrested at the grocery store? It was accused of impasta behavior!
  55. Why did the orange lose the race at the grocery store? It ran out of juice!
  56. Why did the shopping cart apply for a job at the grocery store? It was tired of just rolling around!
  57. Why did the meat go to the grocery store? To meet its maker!
  58. Why did the ice cream want to leave the grocery store? It was afraid of getting scooped!
  59. What do you call a bear in a grocery store? A shopper bear!
  60. Why was the grape sad at the grocery store? It couldn’t find its raisin d’etre!
  61. Why did the grocery store start a football team? They wanted to get more sacks!
  62. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
  63. Why did the bag of chips go to the grocery store? It felt a bit too salty!
  64. What’s the grocery store’s favorite type of news? Anything fresh off the press!
  65. Why was the corn embarrassed at the grocery store? It got caught peeping at the ears!
  66. Why did the grocery store introduce a comedy night? They wanted customers to roll in the aisles!
  67. Why did the yogurt go to the grocery store? It wanted to find a good culture!
  68. Why did the grocery store hire a gardener? They wanted to grow their business!
  69. Why did the bacon laugh at the grocery store? Because the egg cracked a yolk!
  70. Why did the loaf of bread stop in the middle of the grocery store? It couldn’t go against the grain!
  71. Why did the meat want to leave the grocery store? It didn’t want to be in a stew!
  72. Why did the broccoli go to the grocery store? It felt a little chopped!
  73. Why did the tomato go to the grocery store? It wanted to ketchup with the other vegetables!
  74. Why was the grocery store so dimly lit? It wanted to create an ambient checkoutmosphere!
  75. Why did the peanut butter go to the grocery store? It felt a little nuts!
  76. Why did the butcher go to the grocery store? He was looking for fresh cuts!
  77. What do you call a grocery store for cats? A meowrket!
  78. Why did the strawberry go to the grocery store? It was in a jam!
  79. Why did the grocery store hire a mushroom? Because it was a fun guy!
  80. Why did the chocolate go to the grocery store? It had a chip on its shoulder!
  81. Why did the celery go to the grocery store? It needed to stalk up!
  82. What do you call a grocery store run by elves? A minimart!
  83. Why did the bagel go to the grocery store? It felt a little holey!
  84. Why did the grocery store hire a cat? It was good at catching mice crispies!
  85. Why did the coffee beans go to the grocery store? They heard there was a fresh grind!
  86. Why did the biscuit go to the grocery store? It felt crumby!
  87. Why did the soda can go to the grocery store? It wanted to pop in!
  88. Why did the butcher break up with his girlfriend at the grocery store? He couldn’t meat her expectations!
  89. Why did the onion ring go to the grocery store? It heard the steaks were high!
  90. Why did the lettuce go to the grocery store? It wanted to romaine fresh!
  91. What do you call a grocery store for ghosts? A Boo-permarket!
  92. Why did the carrot go to the grocery store? It wanted to see the peas!
  93. Why did the bacon go to the grocery store? It wanted to bring home the bacon!
  94. Why did the tofu go to the grocery store? It wanted to find its soy mate!
  95. Why did the milk go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel moo-ved!
  96. Why did the potato chips go to the grocery store? They felt all fried up!
  97. Why did the spaghetti go to the grocery store? It was feeling saucy!
  98. Why did the cookie go to the grocery store? It needed some dough!
  99. Why did the bean go to the grocery store? It wanted to get baked!
  100. Why did the grocery store become a bank? It wanted to make more dough!
  101. Why did the flour go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel sifted!
  102. Why did the peas go to the grocery store? They were feeling pod-cast aside!
  103. Why did the salad go to the grocery store? It wanted to toss around!
  104. Why did the pickle go to the grocery store? It was in a dill-emma!
  105. Why did the coffee go to the grocery store? It was looking for its grind!
  106. Why did the hot dog go to the grocery store? It wanted to ketchup with the burgers!
  107. Why did the mustard go to the grocery store? It wanted to spice up its life!
  108. Why did the lemon go to the grocery store? It wanted to find its zest for life!
  109. Why did the fish go to the grocery store? It wanted to swim in the main stream!
  110. Why did the pepper go to the grocery store? It wanted to get jalapeño business!
  111. Why did the chocolate bar go to the grocery store? It had a sweet tooth!
  112. Why did the oatmeal go to the grocery store? It was looking for some raisin to live!
  113. Why did the bread go to the grocery store? It was feeling kneady!
  114. Why did the brownie go to the grocery store? It was feeling fudged up!
  115. Why did the ketchup go to the grocery store? It was feeling saucy!
  116. Why did the pizza go to the grocery store? It wanted a pizza the action!
  117. Why did the beer go to the grocery store? It was feeling brewed up!
  118. Why did the meatball go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel saucy!
  119. Why did the grape go to the grocery store? It was feeling a little crushed!
  120. Why did the orange go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel appealing!
  121. Why did the butter go to the grocery store? It wanted to spread its wings!
  122. Why did the yogurt go to the grocery store? It wanted to find a good culture!
  123. Why did the jam go to the grocery store? It was stuck in a jam!
  124. Why did the curry go to the grocery store? It was feeling spicy!
  125. Why did the jelly go to the grocery store? It wanted to find a sweeter half!
  126. Why did the rice go to the grocery store? It was looking for its grain of truth!
  127. Why did the pancake go to the grocery store? It was flipping out!
  128. Why did the waffle go to the grocery store? It wanted to find some syrup-titious activity!
  129. Why did the salad dressing go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel dressing-impressive!
  130. Why did the sushi go to the grocery store? It was on a roll!
  131. Why did the teabag go to the grocery store? It was steeped in thought!
  132. Why did the smoothie go to the grocery store? It wanted to blend in!
  133. Why did the casserole go to the grocery store? It wanted to dish out some truth!
  134. Why did the egg roll go to the grocery store? It wanted to crack a yolk!
  135. Why did the ice cube go to the grocery store? It was looking for a chill-out zone!
  136. Why did the cracker go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel snappy!
  137. Why did the bag of sugar go to the grocery store? It was feeling sweet!
  138. Why did the pastry go to the grocery store? It wanted to puff up!
  139. Why did the soda go to the grocery store? It was feeling bubbly!
  140. Why did the wrap go to the grocery store? It wanted to roll with it!
  141. Why did the chicken go to the grocery store? It was looking for the other side!
  142. Why did the turkey go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel stuffed!
  143. Why did the barbecue sauce go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel sauced!
  144. Why did the bun go to the grocery store? It was on a roll!
  145. Why did the tortilla go to the grocery store? It wanted to wrap things up!
  146. Why did the onion go to the grocery store? It was peeling lonely!
  147. Why did the microwave meal go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel heated!
  148. Why did the water bottle go to the grocery store? It was feeling drained!
  149. Why did the canned tuna go to the grocery store? It was feeling fishy!
  150. Why did the cake go to the grocery store? It was looking for the icing on the cake!

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