57+ flea jokes

  1. What do you call a flea that just broke up with its partner? A bug that’s been bugged out.
  2. Why don’t fleas use computers? They’re scared of catching a bug!
  3. How do you start a flea race? Bug, set, go!
  4. What’s a flea’s favorite book? “Great Exspeck-tations.”
  5. What do you call a flea that likes to dance? A jitterbug.
  6. How does a flea get from place to place? It bugs a ride.
  7. Why did the flea fail the exam? It was just a little buggered.
  8. What do you call a flea that lives in the White House? The First Pest.
  9. What do fleas study at university? Itch-ology.
  10. How does a flea flirt? It bugs you until you notice it.
  11. Why did the flea join the circus? It was the ringmaster of the flea circus.
  12. What’s a flea’s favorite movie? “Itchy and Scratchy.”
  13. What do you call a flea on a diet? A light bug.
  14. Why do fleas never go bald? Because they have permanent fur-rows!
  15. Why did the flea break up with the tick? It found a new tickle.
  16. How do you find a flea in a haystack? Look for the itch stack.
  17. Why was the flea a great detective? It was always bugging people for information.
  18. What’s a flea’s favorite piece of classical music? “Flea-elise.”
  19. Why don’t fleas play soccer? They can’t stand the tick-ing clock.
  20. Why did the flea get a job at the bakery? To knead the dough.
  21. What’s a flea’s favorite type of dog? A bug-gle.
  22. Why did the flea go to the theater? To see a play: “Much Ado About Itching.”
  23. How do fleas communicate? They itch-spress themselves.
  24. What do you call a smart flea? A bug that’s sharp as a tick.
  25. Why was the flea a great comedian? It knew all the tick-lish spots.
  26. Why do fleas never get cold? They always have a fur coat.
  27. What do you call a flea in a glass of water? A bug in the drink.
  28. Why don’t fleas play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted.
  29. Why are fleas bad at poker? They have too many tells.
  30. What’s a flea’s favorite candy? Itch-io’s.
  31. How do fleas get in shape? They do bug-ups.
  32. Why do fleas always come out on top? Because they’re never underdog.
  33. What do you call a flea that’s a knight? Sir Itch-a-lot.
  34. Why was the flea a great athlete? It always made the jump.
  35. How do fleas stay clean? They take bug baths.
  36. What’s a flea’s favorite fast food? Bug-er King.
  37. Why are fleas good at baseball? They’re great at catching.
  38. How does a flea confess its love? It says, “I’m itching for you.”
  39. What do fleas do at parties? They mingle with the ticks.
  40. Why do fleas never win at chess? Because they always get jumped.
  41. What’s a flea’s favorite drink? Buggy Cola.
  42. Why was the flea a great chef? It knew all the secret ingredients.
  43. How do you catch a smart flea? With a clever trap.
  44. Why did the flea go to the beach? To bask in the sun-dog.
  45. What’s a flea’s favorite song? “Jump Around.”
  46. What do you call a wealthy flea? A bugillionaire.
  47. Why was the flea a good carpenter? It was great at fine-tuning.
  48. How do fleas relax? They take a bug bath.
  49. Why don’t fleas play basketball? They’re scared of getting swatted.
  50. What’s a flea’s favorite show? “The Bug Bang Theory.”
  51. What do you call a flea in a salad? A crouton.
  52. Why did the flea go to the art gallery? It wanted to see the Picassos.
  53. How do you stop a flea from charging? Take away its credit card.
  54. Why was the flea a great musician? It had great timing.
  55. What’s a flea’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop.
  56. What do you call a flea that’s a good listener? An ear bug.
  57. Why are fleas so noisy? They always make a buzz.
  58. Why did the flea get a job at the restaurant? It was a good waiter.
  59. How do you make a flea laugh? Tickle its funny bug.
  60. Why do fleas like to swim? They love the dog paddle.
  61. What’s a flea’s favorite form of transport? The itch-hiker’s guide.
  62. Why do fleas never lose at tug-of-war? They always pull through.
  63. What do you call a flea that likes to paint? An art-ist.
  64. Why was the flea a great banker? It always saved for a rainy day.
  65. How do fleas say goodbye? They say, “I’m bugging off now.”
  66. What’s a flea’s favorite kind of dog? A bark-er.
  67. Why did the flea bring a sun hat to the beach? It didn’t want to get sunbugged.
  68. What’s a flea’s favorite hobby? Knitting sweaters for dogs.
  69. Why did the flea go to school? To jump grades.
  70. What do you call a flea in a watch? Time bug.
  71. How do you stop a flea from stealing your lunch? Bug it off.
  72. What’s a flea’s favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate chip cookie-dough-g.
  73. Why do fleas never lose at boxing? They always come out swinging.
  74. What do you call a flea that can sing? A melody bug.
  75. Why did the flea go to the barber? To get a trim and a buzz.
  76. What’s a flea’s favorite type of cake? A bumbleberry pie.
  77. How do fleas apologize? They say, “I didn’t mean to bug you.”
  78. What do you call a flea in space? An astro-bug.
  79. Why do fleas like to shop? They love retail therapy.
  80. What’s a flea’s favorite type of pie? Apple bug.
  81. Why did the flea wear a tie? It was going to a formal event.
  82. What do you call a flea that likes to garden? A green thumb bug.
  83. Why did the flea cross the road? To jump to the other side.
  84. What’s a flea’s favorite breakfast? Bug flakes.
  85. How do fleas stay awake? They drink bug juice.
  86. What do you call a flea in a matchbox? A light bug.
  87. Why did the flea go to the opera? To see “La Traviat-a.”
  88. What’s a flea’s favorite type of pasta? Spaghetti with meatbugs.
  89. Why did the flea go to the moon? To jump higher than ever before.
  90. What do you call a flea in a sandcastle? A beach bug.
  91. Why did the flea join the army? It wanted to be a paratrooper.
  92. How do fleas beat the heat? They find a cool cat.
  93. What’s a flea’s favorite holiday? Halloween, for the bug candy.
  94. Why was the flea a great poet? It always found the right words.
  95. What do you call a flea in a pyramid? A tomb raider.
  96. Why did the flea join the band? It wanted to play the bugle.
  97. What’s a flea’s favorite type of exercise? Jumping jacks.
  98. How do you wish a flea a good morning? Say, “Have a bug-tastic day!”
  99. What’s a flea’s favorite game? Leapfrog.
  100. Why don’t fleas use elevators? They’re afraid of the ups and downs.
  101. What do you call a flea in a soda can? Fizz-zy bug.
  102. Why did the flea open a bakery? It kneaded the dough.
  103. What’s a flea’s favorite part of a joke? The punch-bug line.
  104. Why did the flea go to Paris? To see the Flea-fel tower.
  105. How do fleas write letters? With a pen and bug.
  106. What do you call a flea on a treasure hunt? Gold bugger.
  107. Why was the flea a great lawyer? It knew all the loopholes.
  108. What’s a flea’s favorite type of bread? Bug-uette.
  109. How do fleas say thank you? They say, “Much abug-ged.”
  110. What do you call a flea on a hot dog? A chili bug.
  111. Why did the flea go to the library? To check out the bug-ography section.
  112. How do you make a flea happy? Give it a scratch behind the ears.
  113. What’s a flea’s favorite type of cheese? Gouda-uge.
  114. Why don’t fleas play cricket? They’re afraid of the wicket.
  115. What do you call a flea in a beer mug? A brew bug.
  116. Why was the flea a great dancer? It had the hops.
  117. What’s a flea’s favorite type of cookie? Chocolate bug.
  118. How do fleas say hello? They say, “Nice to e-meet you.”
  119. What do you call a flea at a disco? A dance bug.
  120. Why did the flea go to Hollywood? To be a star-bug.
  121. What’s a flea’s favorite type of pizza? Pepper-bug-oni.
  122. How do fleas stay cool in the summer? They hang out in the shade.
  123. What do you call a flea in a snowstorm? A snow bug.
  124. Why did the flea wear sunglasses? It was too cool for school.
  125. What’s a flea’s favorite type of fish? Salmon-ella.
  126. How do fleas say goodbye at a party? They say, “It was bug-tastic meeting you.”
  127. What do you call a flea that can dance? A cha-cha bug.
  128. Why did the flea go to the market? To buy some flea market bargains.
  129. What’s a flea’s favorite type of candy? Bug drops.
  130. How do fleas avoid getting lost? They use a bug compass.
  131. What do you call a flea in a beer bottle? A brew bug.
  132. Why was the flea a great gardener? It had a green thumb.
  133. What’s a flea’s favorite type of tree? A bug oak.
  134. How do fleas stay healthy? They eat a balanced bug diet.
  135. What do you call a flea in a raincoat? A weather bug.
  136. Why did the flea join the yoga class? To become a bug guru.
  137. What’s a flea’s favorite type of bird? A bug eagle.
  138. How do fleas decorate their homes? With bug knick-knacks.
  139. What do you call a flea in a spaceship? A space bug.
  140. Why did the flea go to the casino? To play the slots.
  141. What’s a flea’s favorite type of shoe? A bug boot.
  142. How do fleas get their news? They read the Daily Bugle.
  143. What do you call a flea that likes coffee? A Java bug.
  144. Why did the flea go to the gym? To get bug-fit.
  145. What’s a flea’s favorite type of watch? A bug watch.
  146. How do fleas keep their clothes clean? They use bug detergent.
  147. What do you call a flea in a flower? A petal bug.
  148. Why did the flea go to the spa? To relax and unwind.
  149. What’s a flea’s favorite part of a city? The bug borough.
  150. How do fleas show they care? They give you a little bite.

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