250 family jokes

  1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  2. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  3. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
  4. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  8. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  9. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  10. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  11. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
  13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  15. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
  16. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  17. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  18. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
  19. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
  20. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  21. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  22. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  23. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  24. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
  25. Why was the broom late? It over swept!
  26. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
  27. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  28. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
  29. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was already stuffed.
  30. What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!
  31. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  32. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  33. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
  34. Why did the birdie go to school? To get tweet-er.
  35. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
  36. What did the judge say to the skunk? Odor in the court.
  37. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
  38. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
  39. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  40. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  41. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up.
  42. Why can’t you give a secret to a pig? Because it’s sure to squeal.
  43. What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing, bananas can’t talk!
  44. What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? A chicken.
  45. What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat.
  46. Why don’t some animals play cards? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs.
  47. What’s a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop.
  48. Why did the spider go to school? To improve his web site.
  49. Why did the boy bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
  50. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button.
  51. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  52. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
  53. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  54. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  55. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
  56. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  57. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
  58. What has keys but can’t open locks? A piano.
  59. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
  60. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  61. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
  62. Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems.
  63. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
  64. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  65. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  66. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  67. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  68. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  69. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  70. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  71. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  72. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  73. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  74. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  75. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
  76. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  77. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  78. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  79. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  80. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  81. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  82. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  83. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
  84. Why did the birdie go to school? To get tweet-er.
  85. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
  86. What did the judge say to the skunk? Odor in the court.
  87. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
  88. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
  89. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  90. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up.
  91. Why can’t you give a secret to a pig? Because it’s sure to squeal.
  92. What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? A chicken.
  93. What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat.
  94. Why don’t some animals play cards? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs.
  95. What’s a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop.
  96. Why did the spider go to school? To improve his web site.
  97. Why did the boy bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
  98. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button.
  99. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  100. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
  101. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  102. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  103. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
  104. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  105. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
  106. What has keys but can’t open locks? A piano.
  107. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
  108. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  109. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
  110. Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems.
  111. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
  112. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  113. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  114. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  115. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  116. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  117. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  118. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  119. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  120. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  121. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  122. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  123. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
  124. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  125. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  126. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  127. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  128. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  129. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  130. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  131. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
  132. Why did the birdie go to school? To get tweet-er.
  133. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
  134. What did the judge say to the skunk? Odor in the court.
  135. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
  136. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
  137. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  138. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up.
  139. Why can’t you give a secret to a pig? Because it’s sure to squeal.
  140. What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? A chicken.
  141. What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat.
  142. Why don’t some animals play cards? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs.
  143. What’s a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop.
  144. Why did the spider go to school? To improve his web site.
  145. Why did the boy bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
  146. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button.
  147. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  148. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
  149. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  150. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  151. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
  152. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  153. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
  154. What has keys but can’t open locks? A piano.
  155. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
  156. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  157. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
  158. Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems.
  159. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
  160. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  161. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  162. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  163. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  164. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  165. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  166. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  167. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  168. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  169. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  170. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  171. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
  172. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  173. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  174. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  175. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  176. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  177. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  178. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  179. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
  180. Why did the birdie go to school? To get tweet-er.
  181. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
  182. What did the judge say to the skunk? Odor in the court.
  183. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
  184. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
  185. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  186. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up.
  187. Why can’t you give a secret to a pig? Because it’s sure to squeal.
  188. What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? A chicken.
  189. What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat.
  190. Why don’t some animals play cards? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs.
  191. What’s a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop.
  192. Why did the spider go to school? To improve his web site.
  193. Why did the boy bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
  194. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button.
  195. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  196. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
  197. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  198. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  199. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
  200. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  201. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
  202. What has keys but can’t open locks? A piano.
  203. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
  204. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  205. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
  206. Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems.
  207. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
  208. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  209. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  210. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  211. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
  212. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  213. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  214. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
  215. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  216. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  217. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  218. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
  219. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
  220. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  221. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school.
  222. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  223. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  224. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
  225. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  226. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  227. How do you catch a whole school of fish? With bookworms.
  228. Why did the birdie go to school? To get tweet-er.
  229. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket!
  230. What did the judge say to the skunk? Odor in the court.
  231. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
  232. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
  233. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
  234. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up.
  235. Why can’t you give a secret to a pig? Because it’s sure to squeal.
  236. What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? A chicken.
  237. What do you call a cat that does tricks? A magicat.
  238. Why don’t some animals play cards? Because they’re afraid of cheetahs.
  239. What’s a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop.
  240. Why did the spider go to school? To improve his web site.
  241. Why did the boy bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept.
  242. How does a dog stop a video? By hitting the paws button.
  243. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
  244. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
  245. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
  246. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  247. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
  248. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  249. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.
  250. What has keys but can’t open locks? A piano.

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