DMV Jokes

The Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is often associated with long lines, bureaucracy, and the seemingly endless wait times that have become the stuff of legend. It’s a place where people go to obtain or renew their driver’s licenses, license plates, and various other vehicular documents.

The DMV experience is notorious for its inefficiency, which has inspired countless jokes and humor. In this collection of DMV jokes, we explore the light-hearted side of this universally recognized institution. From clever wordplay to imaginative scenarios, these jokes find humor in the very essence of the DMV.

Top 99 DMV Jokes:

1. Why don’t cars ever get lost at the DMV? Because they always have their plates!
2. What’s the DMV’s favorite band? The Cars!
3. Why did the DMV start a bakery? Because they’re so good at making people wait in line for their “rolls”!
4. Why did the traffic light turn red in the DMV? Because it saw the cars changing!
5. What’s the DMV’s favorite movie? “License to Drive”!
6. Why did the car apply for a job at the DMV? It wanted to be a civil “sedan”!
7. What do you call a vampire that works at the DMV? A blood drive!
8. Why did the man bring his cat to the DMV? Because it had too many “purr”king tickets!
9. Why do DMV workers never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when there’s a line out the door!
10. Why did the DMV worker bring a ladder to work? Because they wanted to get to the top of the waiting list!
11. How is the DMV like a bad movie? They both make you wish you could fast forward!
12. Why did the DMV open a restaurant? Because they know how to keep people waiting for service!
13. Why did the tire go to the DMV? It was feeling a little flat!
14. What’s the DMV’s favorite type of math? Long “division”!
15. Why did the car break up with the DMV? It was tired of being taken for a ride!
16. Why did the car thank the DMV? Because it gave it “license” to roam!
17. What do you call a DMV worker who tells jokes? A “stand-in-line” comedian!
18. How do you know a ghost works at the DMV? All the paperwork goes right through them!
19. Why do DMV workers make good detectives? They’re used to getting the “license plate” numbers!
20. Why don’t they play poker at the DMV? Because there are too many “deals” on the table!
21. Why did the computer go to the DMV? It needed to update its “drivers”!
22. What’s the DMV’s favorite dance? The “brake” dance!
23. What do you call a DMV employee who plays guitar? A “pick-up” artist!
24. Why do DMV workers make good farmers? They’re used to long “queues”!
25. Why did the bicycle fall over at the DMV? It was two “tired”!
26. Why did the DMV start a boxing club? Because they’re used to “registering” hits!
27. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type of tea? “Licensure” tea!
28. Why did the car go to the DMV party? Because it heard there would be a “bumpin’” good time!
29. What do you call an overworked DMV employee? A “transmission” case!
30. Why did the tree go to the DMV? It wanted a “barking” permit!
31. Why did the football team go to the DMV? They needed a “license to play”!
32. What’s the DMV’s favorite Broadway show? “Les Miserables”!
33. Why do DMV workers make good tailors? They’re always “lining” people up!
34. What do you call a group of singing DMV employees? A long “wait” choir!
35. Why did the DMV open a zoo? Because they’re good at making people wait in line to see the “sloth”!
36. What do you call a DMV employee with a magical touch? A “registration” wizard!
37. Why did the traffic cone go to the DMV? It had a crush on the “yield” sign!
38. Why did the DMV worker bring a compass to work? They wanted to find the “end of the line”!
39. Why did the DMV start a gardening club? Because they know how to “plant” people in line!
40. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type of music? “Heavy Metal”, because they love license plates!
41. Why don’t DMV workers play baseball? Because they might strike out too many “plates”!
42. Why do DMV workers never get lost? Because they always know where the “lines” are!
43. What do you call a pirate who works at the DMV? The “Registration” Raider!
44. What did the license plate say to the car at the DMV? “Stick with me, and you’ll go places”!
45. Why did the DMV start a fitness club? Because they know how to keep people “running” around!
46. Why did the car go to the DMV? Because it was tired of “stalling”!
47. Why do DMV employees make good writers? They’re used to long “lines”!
48. Why don’t they play soccer at the DMV? Because there’s too much “kicking” around!
49. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type of fruit? “Queue”cumber!
50. Why did the DMV start a bank? They know how to keep people waiting for their “checks”!
51. What do you call a DMV worker who’s good at chess? A “checkmate” specialist!
52. Why did the DMV host a marathon? They wanted to see who could “run” the longest!
53. What’s the DMV’s favorite song? “Wait a Minute” by The Pussycat Dolls!
54. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at painting? A “still life” artist!
55. Why did the car go to the DMV on Valentine’s Day? It was looking for its “perfect match”!
56. Why did the DMV start a school? Because they’re used to teaching people “patience”!
57. What do you call a DMV employee who loves to cook? A “grill” master!
58. Why did the DMV open a coffee shop? They know how to keep people waiting for their “brew”!
59. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type of poetry? “Line” verses!
60. Why did the DMV start a dating service? They’re experts at setting up “waiting” dates!
61. Why did the DMV start a travel agency? They’re used to sending people “on the road”!
62. Why did the DMV open a music school? They know how to keep people waiting for their “note”!
63. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at fishing? A “reel” expert!
64. What’s the DMV’s favorite type of dog? A “dash” hound!
65. Why did the DMV open a bar? They’re used to serving people “on the rocks”!
66. Why did the DMV start a movie theater? They’re experts at making people wait for the “show”!
67. Why did the DMV start a library? They’re used to keeping people “booked”!
68. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type70. of bird? The “line”ated barbet!
69. Why did the DMV open a clothing store? They’re experts at keeping people “in stitches”!
70. Why did the DMV start a landscaping business? They’re used to “lining” things up!
71. Why did the DMV start a winery? They’re good at keeping people “bottled” up!
72. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at knitting? A “purl” jam!
73. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type of fish? The “wait”fish!
74. Why did the DMV start a fast food chain? They’re experts at the “drive-thru”!
75. Why did the DMV open an ice cream shop? They’re used to keeping people “cooling” their heels!
76. Why did the DMV start a shoe store? They’re good at keeping people “in step”!
77. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at soccer? A “goal” keeper!
78. Why did the DMV open a yoga studio? They’re experts at the “standing” poses!
79. What’s the DMV’s favorite type of tree? The “line” tree!
80. Why did the DMV start a comedy club? They’re used to keeping people “waiting” for the punchline!
81. Why did the DMV open a barber shop? They’re used to giving people “number” cuts!
82. Why did the DMV start a flower shop? They’re good at keeping people “in gems”!
83. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at golf? A “tee” master!
84. Why did the DMV start a gym? They’re used to keeping people “in line”!
85. What’s a DMV worker’s favorite type of pie? The “line” pie!
86. Why did the DMV start a dance studio? They’re experts at the “line” dance!
87. Why did the DMV open a car wash? They’re used to keeping people “in rinse”!
88. Why did the DMV start a pizza delivery service? They’re good at keeping people “topped” up!
89. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at basketball? A “slam dunk” expert!
90. Why did the DMV open a nail salon? They’re used to keeping people “polished”!
91. What’s the DMV’s favorite type of book? The “line” novel!
92. Why did the DMV start a jewelry store? They’re good at keeping people “in gems”!
93. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at tennis? A “serve” pro!
94. Why did the DMV start a grocery store? They’re used to keeping people “in stock”!
95. Why did the DMV open a pet shop? They’re used to keeping people “on leash”!
96. Why did the DMV start a bakery? They’re good at keeping people “in dough”!
97. What do you call a DMV employee who’s good at boxing? A “knockout” expert!
98. Why did the DMV open a toy store? They’re used to keeping people “in play”!
99. What’s the DMV’s favorite type of weather? The “line”storm!

Conclusion

The DMV jokes presented here playfully highlight the frustration and comical nature of a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Whether it’s the eternal lines, the bureaucratic processes, or the association of the DMV with patience-testing experiences, these jokes provide a moment of levity in an otherwise tedious aspect of our lives.

While the DMV may be a place where time often stands still, these jokes prove that humor can keep us moving forward, even if it’s at the speed of a snail’s pace. So the next time you find yourself in a seemingly never-ending DMV line, remember these jokes, and perhaps your wait won’t feel quite as long or as mundane. After all, laughter is the best way to survive the world of “drive-thru” bureaucracy.