57+ colonoscopy prep joke
- Why don’t colonoscopies ever win at poker? Because they always fold under pressure.
- What did one intestine say to the other before the colonoscopy? Brace yourself, we’re going in.
- Why was the colonoscopy so proud? Because it got to the bottom of things.
- Why don’t colonoscopies make good detectives? They tend to probe in the wrong places.
- What’s a colon’s favorite movie? Inside Out.
- What’s the difference between a colonoscopy and a horror movie? One scares the crap out of you; the other just wants it out.
- Why was the colonoscopy always late? It always had too much on its plate.
- What did the colonoscopy say to the patient? I’ve got your back(side)!
- Why did the colonoscopy become a politician? It’s used to dealing with a load of crap.
- Why did the colonoscopy get a promotion? It went above and beyond duty.
- What’s the colonoscopy’s favorite song? “Tunnel of Love.”
- Why are colonoscopies the favorite procedure of Star Trek fans? They boldly go where no man has gone before.
- What’s the hardest part about a colonoscopy? Waiting for the punch line.
- Why don’t colonoscopies make good friends? They always bring up old crap.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite holiday? Halloween. It’s always a little spooky.
- What did the colonoscopy say to the coffee? You think you’re the best at making people empty their bowels?
- Why did the colon get invited to all the parties? Because the colonoscopy always reveals it’s full of surprises.
- What do a colonoscopy and a marathon have in common? You need to prep hard for both!
- Why did the gastroenterologist bring a torch for the colonoscopy? Just in case things went down the drain.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite game? Hide and Seek.
- What did the patient say after his colonoscopy? “What an inside job!”
- Why was the colonoscopy always so negative? It always saw the glass half empty.
- What do a colonoscopy and a spy have in common? They both deal in undercover operations.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite catchphrase? “Bottoms up!”
- Why did the colonoscopy get an award? It was outstanding in its field.
- What do a colonoscopy and a vacuum cleaner have in common? Both are known for their suction!
- Why don’t colonoscopies make good comedians? They can’t handle the dirty jokes.
- Why did the colonoscopy become a yoga teacher? It knows the ins and outs of bending and stretching.
- Why do colonoscopies hate Halloween? They’re afraid of pumpkins!
- Why did the colonoscopy get a ticket? It didn’t take a proper turn.
- What’s the most awkward time to have a colonoscopy? When you’re having a ‘gut’ feeling!
- Why did the colonoscopy go to the beach? It needed a ‘deep sea’ dive.
- What do you call a colonoscopy in space? An ‘inter-galactic’ experience!
- Why was the colonoscopy a bad secret keeper? It spilled the beans!
- What did the doctor say after a colonoscopy? “That was one heck of a roller coaster ride!”
- What do you call a colonoscopy performed on a rabbit? A “hare”-raising experience!
- Why was the colonoscopy like a sunrise? It started at the crack of dawn.
- What did the cheese say to the colonoscopy? “You’re just stringing me along!”
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite superhero? ‘Thor’ – because he’s always getting to the bottom of things.
- What did the patient say before his colonoscopy? “Hold my beer, I’ve got some ’emptying’ to do!”
- What do you call a funny colonoscopy? A ‘crack’ up!
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of Harry Potter? It loved exploring the ‘Chamber of Secrets’.
- What did the colonoscopy say to the high fiber diet? “You make my job easier!”
- Why did the colonoscopy go to the amusement park? To ride the ‘tunnel of terror’.
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a Monday? A ‘crappy’ start to the week.
- Why was the colonoscopy always the designated driver? It was used to dealing with messy situations.
- Why did the colonoscopy become an archaeologist? It was used to digging deep.
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a brave patient? A ‘no guts, no glory’ situation.
- What did the colonoscopy say to the salad? “Lettuce begin!”
- Why was the colonoscopy a good storyteller? It had gripping ‘tales’ from the ‘inside’.
- Why did the patient bring a newspaper to his colonoscopy? Just in case the doctor wanted to ‘read between the lines’.
- Why did the colonoscopy become a plumber? It knew the ins and outs of pipes!
- What did the patient say to his friend about the colonoscopy? “It’s not a big deal. It’s all behind me now.”
- Why was the colonoscopy good at solving puzzles? It could always find the missing pieces.
- What do a colonoscopy and an audit have in common? Both make you feel exposed!
- Why did the colonoscopy join the circus? It was a master at juggling acts.
- What did the colonoscopy say to the patient? “I’ve seen your inner self, and it’s beautiful!”
- Why did the colonoscopy start a bakery? It loved making ‘rolls’.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite dance? The twist!
- What did the colonoscopy say to the mirror? “I see right through you.”
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and a bad date? You wish both to be over quickly!
- What did the patient say after his colonoscopy? “I can’t believe I ‘bared’ it all.”
- Why did the colonoscopy get into real estate? It had a knack for ‘open houses’.
- What do you call a colonoscopy done by a clumsy doctor? A ‘slip’ of the gut!
- Why did the colonoscopy go to art school? It had a keen eye for ‘interior’ design.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite novel? ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’.
- What did the colonoscopy say to the mathematician? “I can solve your ‘pi’ problem!”
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘Lord of the Rings’? It loved ‘deep dives’ into mysterious realms.
- What do you call a singing colonoscopy? A ‘gut’-wrenching opera.
- Why did the colonoscopy win at chess? It knew all the ‘moves’.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite drink? A ‘bottomless’ cup of coffee.
- Why was the colonoscopy good at basketball? It had a knack for ‘dropping the ball’.
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a pirate? ‘Gut’ting the booty!
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of Sherlock Holmes? It loved unraveling the ‘hidden’ mysteries.
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and a politician? Both go deep into the ‘system’.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite quote? “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey!”
- Why did the colonoscopy become a boxer? It loved throwing ‘gut’ punches.
- What did the patient say after his colonoscopy? “It was an ‘inside’ job.”
- What did the colonoscopy say to the picky eater? “You’re making my job tough!”
- Why did the colonoscopy join the army? It was good at clearing the field.
- What’s the colonoscopy’s favorite TV show? ‘Deep Space Nine’.
- What do a colonoscopy and a roller coaster have in common? Both are ‘gut’-wrenching!
- Why did the colonoscopy start a gardening service? It was good at ‘rooting’ things out.
- What’s the difference between a colonoscopy and a therapist? One goes deep physically, the other emotionally.
- What do a colonoscopy and a treasure hunt have in common? Both require a map and a lot of digging!
- What do you call a colonoscopy in the wild west? A ‘gut’ shot!
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of comic books? It loved the ‘dark’ passages.
- Why did the colonoscopy make a good teacher? It was good at getting to the ‘bottom’ of things.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite sport? Bowling – it’s all about the perfect strike!
- What did the colonoscopy say to the burrito? “You’re too ‘filling’.”
- What did the patient say before his colonoscopy? “Ready for the ‘grand tour’!”
- What do a colonoscopy and a magician have in common? Both pull things out of hats!
- Why did the colonoscopy join the choir? It loved hitting the ‘low’ notes.
- What did the patient say after his colonoscopy? “That’s one for the ‘rear-view’ mirror.”
- What did the colonoscopy say to the astronaut? “I know more about dark passages than you!”
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘The Matrix’? It loved diving into the unknown.
- Why did the colonoscopy start a cleaning service? It was good at ’emptying’ things.
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and a horror movie? Both leave you feeling ’emptied’!
- Why did the colonoscopy join the police force? It was good at ‘search and rescue’.
- What do a colonoscopy and a miner have in common? Both love to dig deep!
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a superhero? A ‘gut’ check!
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’? It loved the ‘deep dives’ into treasure troves.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite dessert? A ‘jelly’ donut!
- Why did the colonoscopy join the navy? It was good at ‘diving deep’.
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a comedian? A ‘crack’ investigation!
- What did the colonoscopy say to the baker? “Your bread is too ‘loafing’.”
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and an explorer? Both delve into the unknown!
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a football player? A ‘touchdown’!
- What did the patient say before his colonoscopy? “Ready for the ‘deep dive’!”
- Why did the colonoscopy become a chef? It was good at ‘cleaning the table’.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite day of the week? ‘Bum’day!
- What did the colonoscopy say to the puzzle? “I can figure you out!”
- Why did the colonoscopy join the circus? It loved the ‘ring’ of things.
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and a wrestler? Both are about the ‘pin-down’!
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a mathematician? A ‘gut’ check on Pi!
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite band? The Rolling ‘Stones’.
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘Alice in Wonderland’? It loved the ‘rabbit hole’.
- What do a colonoscopy and a politician have in common? Both like to dig up dirt!
- Why did the colonoscopy become a journalist? It was good at getting to the ‘bottom’ of things.
- What’s the difference between a colonoscopy and a detective? One ‘probes’ for truth, the other for health!
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite TV show? ‘Game of Thrones’ – it’s all about the ‘seat’ of power.
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘Star Wars’? It loved the ‘dark side’.
- What do a colonoscopy and a submarine have in common? Both love to dive deep!
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a superhero? An ‘inner’ power check!
- Why did the colonoscopy join the orchestra? It loved hitting the ‘low’ notes.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite party game? Pin the ‘tail’ on the donkey!
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’? It loved the ‘deep dive’ into the unknown.
- What do a colonoscopy and a climber have in common? Both are about the descent!
- Why did the colonoscopy become a baker? It was good at ‘kneading’ the dough.
- What do you call a colonoscopy on a president? An ‘executive’ check!
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and a cave explorer? Both love the ‘deep’ exploration.
- What did the patient say before his colonoscopy? “Ready for the ‘roller coaster’ ride!”
- Why did the colonoscopy become a gardener? It loved getting to the ‘root’ of things.
- What’s a colonoscopy’s favorite movie? ‘Deep Impact’.
- Why was the colonoscopy a fan of ‘James Bond’? It loved the ‘thrill’ of the chase.
- What’s the similarity between a colonoscopy and a sailor? Both are about the ‘deep’ dive.