57+ christmas eve jokes

  1. Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his “wrap” skills.
  2. What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas Eve? Sandy Claus!
  3. Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They always drop their needles.
  4. What does a snowman like to eat for dinner? Brrr-gers!
  5. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comet-ic.
  6. What do elves post on Social Media? Elf-ies.
  7. Why was the Christmas book so popular? It had all the “presents” of a great story.
  8. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always “sense his presents”.
  9. What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost Clause!
  10. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
  11. What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? Rude-olph!
  12. What does a snowman take when the sun gets too hot? A chill pill.
  13. How does a Snowman get to work? By riding his ‘icicle’.
  14. What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night.
  15. Why was the ornament addicted to Christmas? It was hooked on trees.
  16. Why did Scrooge win the football game? Because he was good at saving.
  17. Why was the math book sad during Christmas Eve? Because it had too many problems.
  18. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  19. Why did the elf go to school? To get a little “elfucation.”
  20. Why did Santa go to a therapist? He no longer believed in himself.
  21. How do sheep wish each other Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
  22. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He felt crumby.
  23. Why did the Christmas cookie visit the doctor? Because it felt a little crummy.
  24. What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls into a fireplace? Krisp Kringle.
  25. What did the big flower say to the little flower on Christmas Eve? Christmas is blooming!
  26. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
  27. What do you call a snowman with a suntan? A puddle.
  28. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
  29. Why do Christmas trees like to knit? Because they are so good at “purling.”
  30. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
  31. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
  32. Why was the snowman sorting through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
  33. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward.
  34. What do you call a snowman in the desert? A mirage.
  35. What do elves use to take notes? Their elf-abet.
  36. Why did the ornament go to school? To get a little brighter.
  37. Why did the snowman want a divorce? His wife was giving him the cold shoulder.
  38. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart? Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was dearer.
  39. What do you call a reindeer who tells good jokes? Comed-deer.
  40. What do you call a bankrupt Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
  41. What do you call a reindeer that can write with his left and right hoof? Bambi-dextrous.
  42. How does Christmas Day end? With the letter “Y.”
  43. Why don’t reindeer like talking to elves on Christmas Eve? They’re always a little elf-conscious.
  44. What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells.
  45. Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower was coming down the street.
  46. Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles.
  47. Why was Santa’s helper feeling depressed? He had low “elf” esteem.
  48. What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas time? A sad candy cane.
  49. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch.
  50. What do you call a fast elf? Elf-is Presley.
  51. What’s Santa’s favourite candy? Jolly Ranchers, because they’re so jolly!
  52. Why do Christmas trees never go to hairdressers? Because every year they get a trim.
  53. What do you call an elf who sings? A Wrapper.
  54. How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to warm up.
  55. How do you scare a snowman? With a hairdryer.
  56. Why don’t Christmas trees like to go knitting? They keep losing their needles.
  57. What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
  58. What do you call a dog who works for Santa? Santa Paws.
  59. What is a snowman’s favorite lunch? An Iceberger.
  60. Why did Santa go to a gardening store? He wanted to Hoe Hoe Hoe!
  61. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she sees clouds? Looks like rain, “deer.”
  62. How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate? He has a black belt.
  63. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get out of my face.
  64. What’s an elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap music!
  65. Why was the Christmas tree feeling down? It had low “elf” esteem.
  66. Why did Santa start gardening? He wanted to hoe, hoe, hoe.
  67. Why don’t Santa’s helpers go to school? They’re elf-taught.
  68. Why do gingerbread cookies make good baseball players? They know the drill: batter up!
  69. What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A pineapple!
  70. Why do Christmas trees love to knit? Because they are purl masters.
  71. Why did the Christmas tree see a doctor? It had tinsel-itis.
  72. What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  73. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-starch.
  74. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward.
  75. What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly ranchers.
  76. What do you call a cat on a beach during Christmas time? Sandy Claus.
  77. What’s a good time to go to bed on Christmas Eve? When you can’t hold your ‘Santa’-ment any longer!
  78. What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
  79. What does a gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops.
  80. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling down? He had low ‘elf’ esteem.
  81. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comed-deer.
  82. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claus.
  83. Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They always drop their needles.
  84. What do you call a dog who works for Santa? Santa Paws.
  85. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  86. What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales? A snow-fake!
  87. What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents? Idaho-ho-ho.
  88. Why was the Christmas tree bad at playing chess? Because it lost its pawns.
  89. How does a snowman get around town? He rides an ‘icicle.
  90. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.
  91. What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she sees clouds? Looks like rain, deer.
  92. Why did the Christmas tree go to the hairdresser? It needed a trim.
  93. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch.
  94. How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
  95. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  96. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? He had low elf-esteem.
  97. How do Christmas angels greet each other? Halo there!
  98. What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes? Comet-ic.
  99. How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch.
  100. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backward.
  101. Why was the snowman sad on Christmas Eve? Because he had a meltdown.
  102. Why do reindeers tell secrets? Because they have private “antlertalk.”
  103. Why did the Christmas Tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
  104. Why did the Gingerbread Man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumby.
  105. What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and a normal one? The Christmas one has ‘no L.’
  106. How do you call a snowman in a vest? An investigator.
  107. What do elves use when they take notes? Their elf-abet.
  108. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? I have no eye-deer.
  109. Why did the computer go to the doctor? It caught a “virus” from eating too many “bytes” of cookies.
  110. Why did Santa’s helper bring a ladder to the party? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
  111. How do snowmen get around? They ride an “icicle”.
  112. Why did the Christmas tree go to the hairdresser? Because it had “tinsel”-itis.
  113. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart? Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was deerer.
  114. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple.
  115. Why was the Christmas tree bad at sewing? It kept losing its needles.
  116. How do you know when Santa’s around? You can sense his “presents.”
  117. What do you call a snowman that can walk? Snow-mobile.
  118. Why do Christmas trees like to knit? Because they’re purl masters.
  119. What do you call a singing elf with sideburns? Elfis Presley.
  120. Why did the turkey join a band? It had the drumsticks.
  121. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
  122. How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
  123. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters? They always drop their needles.
  124. How does Santa keep his clothes wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-tarch!
  125. Why do Christmas trees never go knitting? They always drop their needles.
  126. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
  127. What says Oh Oh Oh? Santa Claus walking backward.
  128. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.
  129. Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks.
  130. What is Jack Frost’s favorite part of the school day? Snow and tell.
  131. What’s the Grinch’s least favorite band? The Who.
  132. How can Santa deliver all the presents in one night? He has Claus-trophobia.
  133. What do elves use to take notes? Their elf-abet!
  134. What do you call a singing Elf? ELFis Presley.
  135. Why is it always cold during Christmas? Because it’s in Decem-brrrrr!
  136. Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? He had low “elf”-esteem.
  137. What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling? An elfcicle.
  138. What is Santa’s dog name? Santa Paws.
  139. Why can’t the Christmas tree stand up? It drinks too much.
  140. What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
  141. What is Santa’s favorite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
  142. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? He uses Claus-starch.
  143. How do snowmen travel around? By riding an ‘icicle.
  144. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Krispies.
  145. What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Ice Crispies.
  146. What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
  147. How do you know when Santa’s in the room? You can sense his presents!
  148. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claus!
  149. How do snowmen get around? They ride an ‘icicle.
  150. Why was the snowman rummaging in a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose!

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