57+ boomer jokes

  1. Why did the Boomer refuse to play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’ve forgotten where you are.
  2. How does a Boomer’s phone autocorrect? “You’re” always turns into “your”.
  3. Why did the Boomer bring a pencil and paper to the computer? He heard it was time to reboot.
  4. What do you call a Boomer’s Spotify playlist? “Sounds of Silence”.
  5. Why did the Boomer refuse to use GPS? Because back in his day, they used stars.
  6. Why do Boomers always carry coins? Because you can’t swipe or tap a payphone.
  7. Why was the Boomer staring at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”.
  8. Why don’t Boomers use bookmarks? They just bend the corner of the Kindle.
  9. How do Boomers create a password? They just write “PASSWORD”.
  10. How can you tell if a Boomer has been using the computer? There’s white-out on the screen.
  11. Why did the Boomer take his cell phone apart? He wanted to see if there was a dial inside.
  12. Why did the Boomer walk into the TV store and ask for a remote control? Because he thought streaming was fishing.
  13. Why do Boomers love classic rock? They think it’s a music genre, not a description of their age.
  14. Why did the Boomer keep his television on top of his refrigerator? He heard about “chilling” Netflix.
  15. What do you call a Boomer trying to take a selfie? An “elbowie”.
  16. Why don’t Boomers need expensive alarm systems? Because they can’t remember where they put their keys anyway.
  17. Why don’t Boomers like taking naps? They’re afraid they might wake up and miss 60 Minutes.
  18. What’s a Boomer’s favorite type of math? Long division – no calculators allowed!
  19. Why did the Boomer bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
  20. Why do Boomers always write things down? Because “Ctrl + S” is a foreign language.
  21. How did the Boomer get YouTube to stop buffering? He moved the router into the same room.
  22. Why did the Boomer keep hitting his head against the wall? He was trying to get in touch with his hard-headedness.
  23. Why did the Boomer sit on the TV and watch the sofa? He wanted to switch roles for a change.
  24. Why don’t Boomers trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like their grandkids’ excuses.
  25. Why do Boomers love daylight saving? They get an extra hour to complain about technology.
  26. Why do Boomers refuse to use the cloud? Because they can’t figure out how to get their files up there.
  27. Why do Boomers still have landlines? So they can find their cell phones.
  28. Why don’t Boomers text? Because they can’t find the typewriter on their smartphone.
  29. Why did the Boomer wear glasses to the football game? He heard it was in high definition.
  30. Why do Boomers always go to the grocery store? Because Amazon Fresh doesn’t have a fresh bakery smell.
  31. Why was the Boomer looking at the pizza box? It said “open here”.
  32. Why did the Boomer put his radio in the fridge? He wanted some cool music.
  33. Why don’t Boomers trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
  34. Why do Boomers always lose at poker? They refuse to play anything other than solitaire.
  35. Why did the Boomer stare at the bottle of ketchup? Because it said “open here”.
  36. Why did the Boomer bring a flashlight to the party? He heard it was lit.
  37. Why do Boomers like to fix things themselves? Because calling tech support means admitting defeat.
  38. Why do Boomers prefer manual cars? Because pushing buttons is too complicated.
  39. Why did the Boomer bring binoculars to the theatre? He thought the play was in 3D.
  40. Why was the Boomer reading the ingredients on the soap? Because it said “dial”.
  41. How can you tell a Boomer has been using your computer? The mouse has bite marks.
  42. Why do Boomers take their glasses off to read? Because they believe in taking things at face value.
  43. Why do Boomers always keep an encyclopedia nearby? Because Google might be lying.
  44. Why do Boomers hate trampolines? They prefer keeping both feet on the ground.
  45. Why did the Boomer put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
  46. Why don’t Boomers need air conditioning? They’re always cool according to their grandkids.
  47. Why don’t Boomers like fast food? They can’t catch it.
  48. Why did the Boomer keep checking his pocket watch? He thought it was time for change.
  49. Why did the Boomer go to school at 65? He heard education is the best policy.
  50. Why did the Boomer bring a chair to the bank? He wanted to have a sit-down meeting with Mr. Benjamin Franklin.
  51. Why did the Boomer buy a cattle ranch? He wanted a stable income.
  52. Why was the Boomer carrying a hammer to the computer? He heard it had a hard drive.
  53. Why do Boomers hate energy drinks? They think they’re battery acid.
  54. Why don’t Boomers play hide and seek? Because nobody looks for them.
  55. Why do Boomers go to the post office for emails? They believe in the personal touch.
  56. Why don’t Boomers use microwave ovens? Because they can’t set the timer without the help of their grandkids.
  57. Why do Boomers still use typewriters? They like to keep their mistakes in black and white.
  58. Why do Boomers hate calculators? They’re never on the same page.
  59. Why do Boomers never lose at chess? They’ve been playing the same game since ’65.
  60. Why do Boomers hate flying? They still don’t trust those newfangled flying machines.
  61. Why did the Boomer take his cell phone to the repair shop? It stopped ringing.
  62. Why don’t Boomers believe in digital clocks? They miss the good old days when time made a sound.
  63. Why do Boomers hate smartphones? They think they’re too smart for their own good.
  64. Why do Boomers always know the time? Because their watch is never on silent.
  65. Why did the Boomer bring his own snacks to the cinema? He thought the prices were a movie of their own.
  66. Why do Boomers hate credit cards? They can’t figure out where the cash comes out.
  67. Why did the Boomer carry a paper map everywhere? He thought GPS was unreliable.
  68. Why did the Boomer get a library card? Because Google doesn’t have the new book smell.
  69. Why did the Boomer keep a dictionary next to his laptop? Because Google Translate can’t replicate the flipping of pages.
  70. Why do Boomers like snail mail? They think it’s faster than their internet.
  71. Why do Boomers love newspapers? They like their news to have a paper trail.
  72. Why do Boomers hate digital music? They can’t find the rewind button.
  73. Why do Boomers love printed photos? They can hold onto their memories, literally.
  74. Why did the Boomer bring a ladder to the bookstore? He was looking for high literature.
  75. Why don’t Boomers trust vending machines? They can’t shake the change out of them.
  76. Why did the Boomer try to put his DVD into the toaster? He thought it was a disc burner.
  77. Why did the Boomer carry a magnifying glass to the cinema? He thought it was IMAX.
  78. Why did the Boomer get a landline? He heard mobiles can’t be trusted.
  79. Why did the Boomer refuse to use Google? He said it doesn’t know everything.
  80. Why don’t Boomers play video games? They can’t find the coin slot.
  81. Why do Boomers prefer traditional TV? They like their channels in single digits.
  82. Why did the Boomer take a ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.
  83. Why do Boomers prefer paperback books? They don’t have to charge them.
  84. Why did the Boomer take his clock to the vet? It had ticks.
  85. Why did the Boomer go to the Apple Store with a fruit basket? He wanted to make a trade.
  86. Why don’t Boomers trust online dating? They think it’s a scam.
  87. Why did the Boomer bring a compass to the shopping mall? He didn’t trust Google Maps.
  88. Why do Boomers hate e-books? They say it’s not the same without the paper cuts.
  89. Why did the Boomer bring a calculator to the art museum? He wanted to figure out the “Picasso”.
  90. Why do Boomers love the fax machine? They like their messages to travel at the speed of light, just slower.
  91. Why did the Boomer refuse to get a digital photo frame? He said it doesn’t have the same “hang”.
  92. Why do Boomers keep vinyl records? They believe in giving music a spin.
  93. Why did the Boomer go to the bakery for Wi-Fi? He thought it was a type of bread.
  94. Why do Boomers prefer vintage cars? They like to roll down the windows manually.
  95. Why did the Boomer take his computer to the mechanic? It had a virus.
  96. Why don’t Boomers trust contactless payment? They’re scared of catching a bug.
  97. Why did the Boomer go to the PC store with a rod? He wanted to catch a computer mouse.
  98. Why do Boomers hate e-cards? They can’t put them on the mantlepiece.
  99. Why do Boomers love cassette tapes? They like to rewind their music, literally.
  100. Why did the Boomer refuse to upgrade his TV? He said color is overrated.

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