57+ bird jokes
- Why don’t birds use Facebook? They already tweet enough!
- Why did the bird go to the hospital? It needed tweetment.
- What’s a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and Speak.
- Why don’t owls date in the rain? It’s too wet to woo.
- What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly? Chicken.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- What bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
- Why did the pigeon join the tennis club? He was tired of being a coo spectator.
- What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? Owlgebra.
- How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute.
- What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal.
- How do crows stick together in a flock? Velcrow.
- Why did the bird get a timeout? He wouldn’t stop robin.
- How do you get a cuttlefish to laugh? Tell it a bird-brained idea.
- Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? He wanted to be a “polly” unsaturated!
- Why did the turkey join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- What is a bird’s favorite type of exercise? Cardio crow-lates.
- Why was the bird punished at school? Because it was caught peeping during a test!
- What do you get when you cross a bird and a lawn mower? Shredded tweet.
- Why did the canary go to the therapist? It couldn’t find the right key.
- How does a bird call his friends? On the wingtone.
- What do you call a bird that kicks your butt? Steven Seagull.
- What bird is always depressed? A bluebird.
- What’s a duck’s favorite snack? Quackers.
- Why did the woodpecker become a referee? Because he was a peck-siding official.
- Why do flamingos often become mail carriers? They always deliver on one leg.
- What do you call a bird that’s always losing things? A For-get-me-not.
- Why did the swallow break up with the crow? He was tired of her constant cawing.
- What do you call a bird who hates flying south for the winter? A stay-at-homer.
- What bird never remembers the lyrics to a song? A hum-mingbird.
- Why don’t crows get hit by cars? They always use the cross-walk.
- Why did the bird get in trouble at school? For tweeting during class.
- What do you call a canary that flew away? Can’t-ary.
- How do you catch a bird? Stand in the field and act like a worm!
- Why do chickens go to school? To get egg-ucated.
- What do you call a duck that steals? A robber ducky.
- What is a crow’s favorite fruit? The caw-ntaloupe.
- Why don’t you ever see birds at church? They already have their own peews.
- What did the bird say after its cage broke? “I’m feather off this way!”
- How do you know if a duck has enough money? It always keeps a bill on it.
- What do you call a crazy chicken? A cuckoo cluck.
- How do you write a bird song? Note by note.
- What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.
- What do you call a bird that won’t stop talking when you’re trying to sleep? A Mocker-ing bird.
- Why are ducks bad drivers? Their windshields are quacked.
- What do you get when you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird that knocks before delivering its message.
- Why don’t owls get married during the rain? It’s too wet to woo.
- Why do some birds not use a comb? They don’t want to ruffle any feathers.
- What is a bird’s favorite Beatles song? “Let It Beak.”
- Why do hummingbirds hum? They don’t remember the words!
- Why was the goose banned from the bakery? Because it kept saying “duck, duck, scone!”
- Why don’t birds follow directions? They tend to wing it.
- What did the eagle say to its therapist? I’m feeling cooped up.
- Why was the bird a great secret-keeper? Because it could keep things under its wing.
- Why was the sparrow arrested? Because it was suspected of foul play.
- How does a bird propose? With a diamond fling.
- Why are flamingos such good dancers? They have the flamenco in their blood.
- How does a bird show up at a party? It just wings it.
- What do you call a bird at a construction site? A crane.
- Why was the bird sitting on the computer? It was looking for Windows to fly out.
- Why don’t birds use pens? Because they prefer to write in cursive.
- What do you call an over-educated raven? A know-it-caw.
- Why are pigeons bad at hide and seek? They always coo when they are hiding.
- What’s a bird’s favorite social activity? Going out for a tweet.
- What do you call a bird who’s scared of heights? A low-vee.
- Why are penguins socially awkward? They can’t break the ice.
- Why did the bird get a job at a construction site? It was an expert with a crowbar.
- Why do pelicans never go to college? They already have enough bills.
- What do you call a bird with a large vocabulary? A wordie birdie.
- Why did the bird go to drama school? To learn the pecking order.
- What do you call a bird that’s finished dinner? A stuffed rooster.
- Why did the bird join a band? Because it had the tweets.
- What do you call a bird that’s afraid of heights? A chicken.
- How does a bird with laryngitis feel? It doesn’t give a hoot.
- What do you call a bird that carries an umbrella? A weather vane.
- Why do birds never get lost? They always f-lock together.
- What do you call a bird in winter? A brrr-d.
- What do you call a bird that’s in charge of a library? A liter-hen.
- Why do ravens write novels? Because they have a lot of plot caws.
- Why did the sparrow go to the library? Because it was looking for bookworms.
- Why did the rooster go to the comedy club? To crack everyone up.
- Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
- What do you call a bird who hates to exercise? A cardio-loon.
- Why are seagulls always calm? They know how to go with the flow.
- What do you call a bird that loves to draw? A sketch-uwary.
- Why do hens make good teachers? Because they have combs and rulers.
- What do you call a bird with an attitude? A mocking bird.
- What do you get when you cross a bird and a computer? A byte-wing.
- Why was the eagle always picked first in games? He was an early bird.
- Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter? It’s a cheep trip.
- Why do birds like telephones? They have great ring tones.
- What do you call a bird who’s good at math? A count-ing crow.
- Why do birds tend to agree with each other? They’re always in caw-hoots.
- What did the mother bird say to her misbehaving kids? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his nest!
- Why was the bird a good baker? It always made the dough rise.
- What kind of key does a duck carry? A quack-key.
- Why did the bird go to school? To improve its pecking order.
- What do you call a canary that flew into a pastry dish? Tweetie pie.
- Why don’t penguins like to talk to strangers at parties? They find it hard to break the ice.
- What do you call a bird with a briefcase? An executive parrot.
- Why did the parrot get a timeout? Because it wouldn’t stop squawking back.
- How do parrots ask for food? Polly wants a cracker!
- Why was the bird at the gym? It was working on its pecks.
- What do you call a bird that’s in love? Tweetheart.
- What is a bird’s favorite subject in school? Owl-gebra.
- What’s a bird’s favorite opera? The Magic Flute.
- Why don’t vultures ever check bags when flying? They only take carrion.
- Why did the bird break up with its partner? It was a cheep affair.
- What do you call a very quiet bird? A mime-ingo.
- How does a bird sing in a trio? In three-part harmon-beak.
- What do you call a bird that picks its nose? A picken.
- How does a bird get into its house? It uses its beak-key.
- Why did the duck go to the repair shop? Its quack needed fixing.
- What do you call a bird who writes poetry? A quill-dove.
- What do you call a bird that flies over a bay? A bagel.
- What do you get when you cross a chicken with a guitar? A chicken that plucks itself.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of math? Geometry.
- Why did the ostrich hide its head in the sand? It didn’t want to be spotted.
- What do you call a bird that lives underground? A miner bird.
- What did one bird say to the other when they saw a human approaching? Duck!
- Why was the bird bad at baseball? It always flew home.
- What do you call a bird that’s ready for dinner? A swallow.
- Why do birds make good detectives? They always follow the tweets.
- What do you call a bird on a winning streak? A hot wing.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of entertainment? Beak-screen TV.
- Why did the owl invite his friends over? He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
- What do you call a bird in the winter? A brrrrrd.
- Why did the bird go to the mechanic? It had a pecking problem.
- What do you call a bird that’s recently broken up with its partner? A blue bird.
- Why do birds always know what time it is? Because of the cuckoo clock.
- What do you call a bird that doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle.
- What’s a bird’s favorite mode of communication? Tweeting.
- What do you call a bird with an orange in its mouth? A penguin.
- What do you call a bird that’s always working out? A muscle dove.
- Why do we never hear pigeons in the park? Because they don’t like to coo in public.
- What do you call a bird that picks its teeth? A toothpick.
- What do you call a bird that tells jokes? A stand-up pigeon.
- Why do birds fly? Because they can’t walk on water.
- What’s a bird’s favorite social platform? Twitter.
- Why did the bird get promoted? He went above and beyond the caw of duty.
- What do you call a bird that’s always getting into fights? A sparrowxer.
- Why are birds always calm during tests? They always wing it.
- What do you call a bird that’s always gossiping? A blab-bird.
- What do you call a bird with a briefcase? An executive chick.
- Why don’t birds ever get lost? They use Google Nest.
- What’s a bird’s favorite type of theater? Squawk-ward.
- What do you call a bird that doesn’t believe in Santa? A Robin Scrooge.
- Why don’t ducks ever have spare change? They always keep their bills in their pockets.
- What do you call a bird that hates flying? A penguin.
- Why did the bird get in trouble at school? It was caught tweeting on a test!