150 anxiety jokes

  1. Why don’t people with anxiety play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always on edge!
  2. Why did the anxious book join a book club? To overcome its fear of being judged by its cover!
  3. I told my therapist about my fear of elevators. She said I need to take steps to avoid it.
  4. Why did the anxiety-ridden chicken cross the road? To overthink its life choices on the other side.
  5. How do you know when your anxiety is a tech geek? When it has multiple windows open at all times.
  6. Why was the anxiety a great artist? It always had plenty of sketches!
  7. Did you hear about the anxious vampire? He was always worried about a blood shortage.
  8. What’s an anxious ghost’s favorite dessert? I Scream.
  9. My therapist asked me to track my moods, I told her I already do on an app – it’s called my online banking.
  10. Why was the stress ball anxious? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
  11. Why don’t anxious people make good gardeners? Because they can’t stop watering the plants!
  12. How does anxiety apologize? “I’m sorry for the things I said when it was dark outside.”
  13. Why do people with anxiety make excellent bakers? They’re experts at kneading things over.
  14. Why was the anxious chameleon so good at poker? It always changed its spots when nervous.
  15. Why did the anxious computer go to therapy? It had too many panic attacks.
  16. I asked my anxiety for some space, and it asked: “5 minutes or 7 minutes?”
  17. Why was the sandwich anxious? It was on a roll, and then it started falling apart.
  18. Why was the anxious bee always stressed? Because it was always buzz-y.
  19. Why did the anxious scarecrow win an award? It was outstanding in its field, worrying about the crows.
  20. Why was the werewolf anxious? It was always worried about the full moon schedule.
  21. Did you hear about the anxious clock? It always tocks before it ticks.
  22. Why did the anxious coffee go to therapy? It was pressed too much.
  23. I told my anxiety to take a hike. It came back with a map and a survival kit.
  24. Why do anxious people always carry a pencil? Because you never know when you’ll need to draw conclusions.
  25. Why did the anxious rock go to a psychiatrist? It couldn’t handle the pressure, so it cracked.
  26. How can you spot an anxious football? It’s always going over the line.
  27. Why did the light bulb go to therapy? It couldn’t handle being under too much pressure.
  28. Why don’t anxious people play poker? Because they always fold.
  29. Why did the anxious pirate go to therapy? He had trouble managing his aargh-xiety.
  30. Why was the tissue anxious? It felt like it was always getting picked on.
  31. Why are anxious bread loaves poor comedians? They always crumble under pressure.
  32. Why did the thermostat go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the heat.
  33. Why do anxious people always carry a map? They like to plan escape routes.
  34. Why was the pot of boiling water so anxious? It was in hot water.
  35. Why did the worrywart never play chess? Too many moves to second guess!
  36. What does an anxious person say to their lover? “I can’t elope.”
  37. Why was the apple so anxious? Because it couldn’t keep the doctor away.
  38. Why don’t anxious people become detectives? They always jump to conclusions!
  39. Why did the anxious star go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the gravity of the situation.
  40. How does anxiety do math? It multiplies your worries.
  41. Why did the music note go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the pressure of being flat or sharp.
  42. Why did the anxious fish go to therapy? It always felt like a fish out of water.
  43. How do anxious people take their coffee? Decaf – with an extra shot of worry.
  44. Why did the anxious man go to the bakery? His therapist said he kneaded dough.
  45. What did the anxious traffic light say? “Stop! Or maybe go? Or maybe stop?”
  46. What did the worrywart say to the fortune cookie? “I knew you were going to say that.”
  47. Why don’t anxious people play baseball? They’re always worried about getting to home base.
  48. What does an anxious comedian say? “I’m here all week – or at least until my fears consume me.”
  49. Why don’t anxious people like Sudoku? Because 9 possibilities are just too much.
  50. Why did the anxious spider go to therapy? It couldn’t get out of the web of its thoughts.
  51. What does an anxious pizza say? “I’m feeling really cheesy today.”
  52. Why don’t anxious people make good composers? Because they can’t handle the rest.
  53. Why was the watermelon so anxious? It always felt under pressure to split.
  54. Why do anxious people always bring a compass? They’re always looking for the right direction.
  55. Why did the anxious flower go to therapy? It felt too plucked up.
  56. What does an anxious person’s diet consist of? Worry-free fat, and sugar-free concerns.
  57. Why don’t anxious people become magicians? They worry too much about what’s up their sleeve.
  58. Why did the anxious candy go to therapy? It had a hard shell but was soft inside.
  59. How does anxiety do its laundry? One worry at a time.
  60. Why did the anxious bird go to therapy? It was tired of always winging it.
  61. Why don’t anxious people make good chefs? They always spill the beans.
  62. Why was the egg anxious? It always felt like it was going to crack.
  63. Why don’t anxious people play chess? They’re too worried about their next move.
  64. Why did the anxious mouse go to therapy? It felt trapped.
  65. How does anxiety like its eggs? Over-stressed.
  66. What did the anxious seed say? “I’m afraid of growing up.”
  67. Why don’t anxious people make good jewelers? They can’t stop worrying about the carats.
  68. What does an anxious person say at the beach? “I can’t sand this.”
  69. Why was the tree anxious? It couldn’t stand against the wind.
  70. Why don’t anxious people go bungee jumping? The thought of falling apart really strings them along.
  71. What does an anxious computer say? “Stop pushing my buttons!”
  72. Why did the anxious marshmallow go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the heat.
  73. Why don’t anxious people become pilots? They can’t handle the turbulence.
  74. Why did the anxious balloon go to therapy? It was tired of being let down.
  75. Why don’t anxious people make good mailmen? They always post-pone things.
  76. Why did the ant go to therapy? It couldn’t handle carrying the weight of the world on its shoulders.
  77. Why was the shoe anxious? It always felt tied down.
  78. Why don’t anxious people become electricians? They can’t deal with the shocks.
  79. Why did the cat79. Why did the cat with anxiety become a musician? Because it had too many panic chords.
  80. What’s an anxious person’s favorite song? “Don’t worry, be… oh who am I kidding.”
  81. Why don’t anxious people like playing cards? They worry about dealing with problems.
  82. Why did the anxious pencil go to therapy? It was tired of always being under pressure.
  83. Why don’t anxious people make good comedians? They’re always worried about the punch line.
  84. Why did the anxious clock go to therapy? It was always tock-ing about its problems.
  85. Why don’t anxious people like jigsaw puzzles? They’re afraid of pieces falling apart.
  86. Why did the anxious bird go to therapy? It was tired of always having a bird’s eye view of danger.
  87. Why don’t anxious people become weightlifters? They can’t deal with the pressure.
  88. What does an anxious car say? “Stop driving me crazy!”
  89. Why don’t anxious people become bakers? They’re always afraid of getting burned.
  90. Why did the anxious feather go to therapy? It felt too light-headed.
  91. Why don’t anxious people become sailors? They can’t weather the storms.
  92. Why did the anxious teddy bear go to therapy? It was stuffed with problems.
  93. Why don’t anxious people make good golfers? They’re too worried about making the cut.
  94. Why did the anxious snowflake go to therapy? It was afraid of melting under pressure.
  95. Why don’t anxious people make good carpenters? They can’t nail their problems.
  96. Why did the anxious leaf go to therapy? It was always turning over a new leaf.
  97. Why don’t anxious people make good hairdressers? They’re always cutting it close.
  98. Why did the anxious sun go to therapy? It was afraid of setting too fast.
  99. Why don’t anxious people like surprises? They don’t like to be caught off guard.
  100. Why did the anxious butterfly go to therapy? It was afraid of breaking out of its shell.
  101. Why don’t anxious people like to make decisions? They’re always weighing the pros and cons.
  102. Why did the anxious planet go to therapy? It was tired of spinning in circles.
  103. Why don’t anxious people make good architects? They’re always worrying about the foundations.
  104. Why did the anxious wave go to therapy? It was tired of crashing.
  105. Why don’t anxious people like to throw parties? They’re always worrying about the guest list.
  106. Why did the anxious cloud go to therapy? It was afraid of raining on people’s parades.
  107. Why don’t anxious people make good dancers? They’re always on their toes.
  108. Why did the anxious fire go to therapy? It was tired of flaming out.
  109. Why don’t anxious people make good photographers? They’re always worrying about the focus.
  110. Why did the anxious shadow go to therapy? It was tired of being followed.
  111. Why don’t anxious people like magic tricks? They’re afraid of what’s up the sleeve.
  112. Why did the anxious kite go to therapy? It was afraid of being let go.
  113. Why don’t anxious people make good actors? They’re always worrying about their lines.
  114. Why did the anxious button go to therapy? It was tired of holding things together.
  115. Why don’t anxious people make good waiters? They’re always worried about serving up problems.
  116. Why did the anxious mirror go to therapy? It was tired of reflecting others’ problems.
  117. Why don’t anxious people make good mechanics? They’re always worried about the nuts and bolts.
  118. Why did the anxious letter go to therapy? It was tired of being sent around.
  119. Why don’t anxious people like to play Scrabble? They’re always worried about spelling mistakes.
  120. Why did the anxious snowman go to therapy? It was afraid of melting under pressure.
  121. Why don’t anxious people make good doctors? They’re always worried about the pulse.
  122. Why did the anxious envelope go to therapy? It was tired of being sealed with problems.
  123. Why don’t anxious people like to write? They’re always worried about the end of the line.
  124. Why did the anxious guitar go to therapy? It was tired of feeling strung out.
  125. Why don’t anxious people like to play hide and seek? They’re always worried about being found out.
  126. Why did the anxious planet go to therapy? It was tired of feeling out of orbit.
  127. Why don’t anxious people make good mountain climbers? They’re always worried about the fall.
  128. Why did the anxious window go to therapy? It was tired of looking out for trouble.
  129. Why don’t anxious people make good painters? They’re always worried about coloring outside the lines.
  130. Why did the anxious lamp go to therapy? It was tired of feeling turned on and off.
  131. Why don’t anxious people like to fish? They’re always worried about the one that got away.
  132. Why did the anxious thermometer go to therapy? It was tired of feeling under the weather.
  133. Why don’t anxious people make good mathematicians? They’re always worried about the unknowns.
  134. Why did the anxious moon go to therapy? It was tired of feeling eclipsed.
  135. Why don’t anxious people like to sing? They’re always worried about hitting the wrong note.
  136. Why did the anxious candle go to therapy? It was tired of burning at both ends.
  137. Why don’t anxious people make good swimmers? They’re always worried about going under.
  138. Why did the anxious watch go to therapy? It was tired of ticking off the seconds.
  139. Why don’t anxious people make good gardeners? They’re always worried about weeds.
  140. Why did the anxious bread go to therapy? It was tired of feeling kneaded.
  141. Why don’t anxious people make good race car drivers? They’re always worried about the finish line.
  142. Why did the anxious pen go to therapy? It was tired of feeling penned in.
  143. Why don’t anxious people like to skydive? They’re always worried about the landing.
  144. Why did the anxious camera go to therapy? It was tired of focusing on the negatives.
  145. Why don’t anxious people make good jugglers? They’re always worried about dropping the ball.
  146. Why did the anxious pizza go to therapy? It was tired of feeling sliced up.
  147. Why don’t anxious people make good comedians? They’re always worried about the punchline.
  148. Why did the anxious leaf go to therapy? It was tired of falling for everything.
  149. Why don’t anxious people like to bowl? They’re always worried about the gutter.
  150. Why did the anxious joke go to therapy? It was tired of being laughed at.

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