150 writer jokes

  1. Why don’t writers ever play hide and seek? Because good luck when they’re hiding in the “plot”.
  2. Why did the writer get arrested at the bank? Because his checks were always bouncing.
  3. Why did the sci-fi writer always carry a spare pen? In case he came across a plot hole.
  4. How do we know that Shakespeare was a great cook? He had a knack for “stirring” drama.
  5. What do you call a novelist who just broke up with his girlfriend? An ex-position.
  6. Why do writers always feel cold? Because they’re surrounded by drafts.
  7. Why did the writer bring a ladder to the bar? He was looking for high-brow content.
  8. Why don’t writers mind when their work is rejected? Because they’re always seeking “novel” experiences.
  9. What do writers serve at parties? “Comma”lities.
  10. Why are writers always breaking up? Because they have too many “characters” to deal with.
  11. What did the writer name his pet cat? Syntax.
  12. Why did the writer go to the party? He heard it was a “novel” occasion.
  13. Why was the screenwriter kicked out of the fruit market? He kept changing the “script”.
  14. Why do writers hate playing tennis? They hate returning the serve because it feels like a rejection.
  15. Why don’t writers play cards? They’re afraid of the “deal-ogue”.
  16. Why did the poet refuse to play chess? He was tired of verses.
  17. Why do writers make terrible gardeners? They keep planting plot seeds but forget to water them.
  18. What’s a writer’s favorite exercise? A run-on sentence.
  19. What do you call a thirsty writer? A prosecco.
  20. Why are crime writers good at basketball? They know how to “plot” their moves.
  21. Why did the writer break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t appreciate his “type”.
  22. What is a writer’s favorite type of math? Grammartry.
  23. What do you call an apologetic author? A “rewrite”ous.
  24. Why do writers prefer trains? They enjoy the “narrative” tracks.
  25. Why do writers never get lost? They always follow the story “arc”.
  26. Why are writers good at making salads? They’re great at mixing “characters”.
  27. What’s a writer’s favorite piece of clothing? A “plot”cket square.
  28. Why did the writer go to jail? For “plot”lifting.
  29. Why do writers always carry a pencil? To “draw” conclusions.
  30. Why do writers make great detectives? They always “note” everything.
  31. Why do writers love camping? They can’t resist a good “tale” by the fire.
  32. Why don’t writers use bookmarks? They prefer “plot” points.
  33. Why was the writer always in trouble? He couldn’t resist a “cliff-hanger”.
  34. What do you call a pastry chef who’s also a writer? A “baker’s dozen”.
  35. Why are writers terrible dancers? They have two left “feet”.
  36. Why do writers hate rush hour? Too many “traffic” sentences.
  37. What did the writer name his boat? The “Plot”onic Sea.
  38. Why do writers make terrible secret agents? They always spill the “inks”.
  39. What’s a writer’s favorite fruit? Punctuation.
  40. Why are writers so calm? They always take “notes” to self.
  41. Why do writers love coffee shops? They love the “brewed” ideas.
  42. Why don’t writers play cricket? Because it involves too much “pitching”.
  43. What did the writer say when he was ready for dinner? “Let’s wrap up this chapter!”
  44. Why do writers make bad runners? They can’t get past the “edit”-orial stage.
  45. Why do writers love autumn? Because the leaves “turn” like pages.
  46. Why do writers always wear glasses? To help with their “vision”.
  47. Why don’t writers play basketball? They’re afraid of the “rebounding”.
  48. What do you call a writer’s sunburn? A “plot” twist.
  49. Why do writers love mysteries? They’re always looking for “cluesing” sentences.
  50. Why did the writer refuse to play soccer? He didn’t want to “kick” off the game.
  51. Why are writers bad at hide and seek? They always leave “footnotes”.
  52. Why are writers always tired? They’re up all night “chasing” their dreams.
  53. What do you call a writer who doesn’t believe in Santa? A “clause”-trophobic.
  54. Why do writers love puns? They make them feel “write” at home.
  55. Why are writers bad at maths? They always mix up the “sum”mary.
  56. Why do writers hate washing dishes? They prefer to “rinse” and repeat their work.
  57. Why did the writer join the circus? He wanted to try his hand at “juggling” characters.
  58. What’s a writer’s favorite type of music? “Compose”itions.
  59. Why are writers bad at cooking? They’re always “overcooking” their plots.
  60. Why don’t writers get haircuts? They don’t want to lose their “plot” hair.
  61. What’s a writer’s favorite vegetable? A “plot”ato.
  62. Why do writers prefer to walk? They enjoy the “pace”.
  63. What’s a writer’s favorite dance? The “twist”.
  64. Why are writers always calm during a storm? They enjoy the “climaxes”.
  65. Why do writers make great astronauts? They’re always ready for a “launch”.
  66. Why don’t writers play baseball? They can’t handle the “pitch”.
  67. Why do writers love skiing? They’re great at “editing” their paths.
  68. Why don’t writers make good farmers? They’re always looking for the “corniest” jokes.
  69. Why did the writer go to the grocery store? He was out of “paragraph”malat.
  70. Why did the writer get a pet bird? To improve his “tweeting” skills.
  71. Why did the writer become a fisherman? He was good at “catchy” phrases.
  72. Why did the writer get a job at the bakery? He had a passion for “roll” playing.
  73. Why did the writer never get invited to parties? His jokes were too “punctual”.
  74. Why are writers bad at jumping rope? They always miss the “skip”.
  75. Why do writers prefer rainy days? They love the “dripping” narratives.
  76. Why did the writer open a restaurant? He was great at “serving” stories.
  77. Why did the writer join the track team? He wanted to “race” through his novel.
  78. What do you call a writer who’s also a doctor? A “scribble”.
  79. Why do writers love magic tricks? They’re all about the “reveal”.
  80. Why do writers never go hungry? They always have “food” for thought.
  81. Why do writers love the zoo? They love “animalogies”.
  82. What did the writer say to the singing telegram? “You’ve got great delivery.”
  83. Why do writers make good sailors? They can always “navigate” through the story.
  84. Why did the writer go to the gym? To “workout” his plot.
  85. Why did the writer buy a new hat? He needed a fresh “cap”sule.
  86. Why do writers love grocery shopping? They enjoy “list”ing things.
  87. Why did the writer join a band? He wanted to “compose” a new tune.
  88. Why do writers make bad carpenters? They’re always “hammering” out details.
  89. Why don’t writers like arguing? They hate the “debate”able endings.
  90. Why do writers love beaches? They find inspiration in the “waves”.
  91. Why are writers bad at boxing? They don’t like the “punch” lines.
  92. What do you call a writer who can’t find his glasses? A “blurry” tale.
  93. Why do writers prefer cats over dogs? They’re all about the “purr”spective.
  94. Why did the writer join the circus? He was hoping to “juggle” ideas.
  95. Why did the writer go to the beach? He wanted to “sea” the climax.
  96. Why do writers make good teachers? They’re all about the “lesson” learned.
  97. Why did the writer become a firefighter? He was good at “blazing” trails.
  98. Why are writers bad at baseball? They’re too “focused” on the home “run-on” sentences.
  99. Why do writers make bad politicians? They’re too “wordy” for the public.
  100. Why did the writer get a job at the library? He loved “checking out” books.
  101. What do you call a writer at a music festival? A “band” of words.
  102. Why do writers love roller coasters? They’re all about the “ups and downs”.
  103. Why are writers bad at golf? They always miss the “subtext”.
  104. Why do writers love astronomy? They’re all about the “starry” nights.
  105. Why did the writer become a chef? He was good at “cooking” up stories.
  106. Why did the writer join the swim team? He was hoping to “dive” into his plot.
  107. What do you call a writer’s workspace? A “creativity” zone.
  108. Why did the writer go to the garden? He needed to “cultivate” his thoughts.
  109. Why do writers love birdwatching? They love the “tweet” sounds.
  110. Why did the writer go to the moon? He wanted to “space” out his novel.
  111. Why are writers bad at darts? They always miss the “point”.
  112. Why did the writer get a job at the museum? He loved the “exhibit”ions.
  113. Why did the writer become a gardener? He was good at “planting” ideas.
  114. What do you call a writer who likes to fish? A “reel” storyteller.
  115. Why did the writer join the choir? He wanted to “harmonize” his plot.
  116. Why do writers love Halloween? They love the “boo”ks.
  117. Why did the writer go to the casino? He wanted to “bet” on his novel.
  118. Why are writers bad at racing? They’re always “lagging” behind.
  119. Why do writers love breakfast? They love the “cereal” stories.
  120. Why did the writer join the football team? He wanted to “kickoff” his plot.
  121. Why do writers love gardens? They’re full of “plot” plants.
  122. Why did the writer become a photographer? He was good at “shooting” scenes.
  123. Why do writers love winters? They love the “chill”ing narratives.
  124. Why did the writer join a band? He was hoping to “drum” up some ideas.
  125. Why are writers bad at basketball? They’re always “dribbling” their words.
  126. Why did the writer get a job at the post office? He loved the “letters”.
  127. Why did the writer go to the forest? He needed to “branch” out his plot.
  128. Why do writers love music? They love the “note”worthy ideas.
  129. Why are writers bad at soccer? They’re always “kicking” around ideas.
  130. Why did the writer join the orchestra? He wanted to “string” together his plot.
  131. Why do writers love spring? They love the “blossoming” ideas.
  132. Why did the writer go to the mountains? He wanted to “peak” at his novel.
  133. Why do writers love theatres? They love the “act”ing out of stories.
  134. Why did the writer become a bartender? He was good at “mixing” ideas.
  135. What do you call a writer who likes to hike? A “trail” blazer.
  136. Why did the writer join the tennis team? He was hoping to “serve” his plot.
  137. Why do writers love libraries? They’re all about the “book”marked ideas.
  138. Why are writers bad at swimming? They’re always “floating” ideas.
  139. Why did the writer get a job at the radio station? He loved the “broadcast”ing of stories.
  140. Why did the writer go to the desert? He wanted to “sand” out his plot.
  141. Why do writers love sundays? They love the “sunlit” ideas.
  142. Why are writers bad at boxing? They’re always “punching” above their weight.
  143. Why did the writer become a waiter? He was good at “serving” dialogues.
  144. What do you call a writer who likes to skydive? A “freefall” writer.
  145. Why did the writer join the chess club? He was hoping to “checkmate” his plot.
  146. Why do writers love roads? They love the “path”way of ideas.
  147. Why are writers bad at ice skating? They’re always “slipping” on ideas.
  148. Why did the writer get a job at the movie theatre? He loved the “screen”ing of stories.
  149. Why did the writer go to the beach? He wanted to “wave” at his novel.
  150. Why do writers love sunsets? They love the “end” of a day, just like the end of a story.

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