150 thor jokes
- Why is Thor always calm during lightning storms? Because he’s not shocked by anything.
- Why did Thor apply for a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded the dough.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of exercise? Ham-mer curls.
- Why doesn’t Thor use bookmarks? Because he always Ragnaroks his place.
- Why did Thor miss his dentist appointment? He had a bad case of Hammer-tooth.
- What did Thor say when he forgot his hammer? “I have nothing to Loki.”
- Why did Thor go on a diet? He was feeling a little too Thore.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of music? Heavy Metal.
- What did Thor say to Spiderman at the gym? “Stop spinning around, you’re not my bro, Loki!”
- Why is Thor bad at basketball? He’s always hammering on the backboard.
- How does Thor catch a fish? He uses lightning bait!
- Why did Thor fail his driver’s test? He couldn’t get the hang of parallel Asgarding.
- What does Thor call his mother-in-law? Thunder-in-Loki.
- Why does Thor always carry his hammer? Because he can’t trust Loki with it.
- What is Thor’s favorite part of a joke? The punch-Thor-line!
- Why did Thor break up with his girlfriend? She said he had too many Loki issues.
- Why doesn’t Thor wear glasses? He’s got perfect As-gard.
- Why did Thor start gardening? He wanted to grow Asgard-enias.
- How does Thor like his coffee? Thunder-ly brewed.
- Why did Thor go to school? To be a little less Thorrible at math.
- Why did Thor never get lost? Because he always followed the North-Thor.
- What’s Thor’s favorite card game? Whist. He loves to slam the hammer down on a good trick.
- How does Thor like his toast? Asgardian-ly crusty.
- Why did Thor go to the chiropractor? He had a bad case of Thor-niated disc.
- What’s Thor’s favorite dance move? The Hammer Time slide.
- Why doesn’t Thor use public transportation? He prefers to use his Thormobile.
- What’s Thor’s least favorite day of the week? Thorsday, it’s too predictable.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of math? Geome-Thor-y.
- Why is Thor a terrible chef? He always over-Thor-bakes the bread.
- What did Thor say to Captain America at the breakfast table? “Pass the Asgardian jam, please.”
- Why can’t Thor ever play hide and seek? Because wherever he goes, he always leaves a thunderous hint.
- Why is Thor’s diary so heavy? It’s filled with too many weighty Thor-ughts.
- Why did Thor get kicked out of the library? He always returned his books over-Thor.
- What’s Thor’s favorite kind of potato? Thor-tato.
- Why did Thor go to the opera? He heard it was a smashing performance.
- Why is Thor the cleanest Avenger? He always uses Thorgent on his clothes.
- Why is Thor always selected for the school play? He’s got the most thunderous applause.
- Why did Thor visit the orthodontist? He needed his Thor-th straightened.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of cake? Pound cake, it reminds him of his hammer.
- Why is Thor always the first one ready for battle? He’s never Loki-dragging his feet.
- What does Thor call a Viking hat? His party helmet.
- What’s Thor’s favorite part of the house? The Asgarden.
- Why did Thor bring his hammer to the BBQ? He’s the grill master.
- Why is Thor the best baseball player? His hammer is always a home run.
- What’s Thor’s favorite fruit? Thor-ange.
- Why is Thor bad at poker? He has a tell. When he bluffs, his hammer twitches.
- Why did Thor join the choir? He heard they needed a ten-Thor.
- What does Thor say when he makes a mistake? “That was un-Thor-tunate.”
- What does Thor eat for breakfast? Thunder-O’s.
- How does Thor call his friends? He gives them a ring, on his Hammer-phone.
- Why did Thor go to art school? He wanted to perfect his hammer strokes.
- Why did Thor join the Scouts? He wanted to earn his Thunder badge.
- Why does Thor never use an elevator? He doesn’t like the feeling of being up-lifted.
- What does Thor use to style his hair? Thunder gel.
- Why does Thor love camping? He enjoys hammering in the tent pegs.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of dog? A Hammeranian.
- How does Thor like his drinks? On the rocks, just like his homeland.
- Why did Thor become a farmer? He wanted to grow Asgarlic.
- What’s Thor’s favorite part of the computer? The hard Thor-ve.
- What do you call it when Thor makes a good point? A thunderous insight.
- How does Thor invite his friends over? He says, “Come on over, I just got a new hammering board game.”
- Why did Thor refuse to play chess? He was tired of being a pawn in someone else’s game.
- Why did Thor become a librarian? He likes arranging the Saga section.
- What is Thor’s least favorite vegetable? Thor-n on the cob.
- Why did Thor join the circus? He wanted to try the hammer throw.
- What does Thor eat for dessert? Thornado ice cream.
- What does Thor say when he’s winning a game? “This is Thor-some!”
- Why is Thor a bad tailor? He always hammers the buttons too hard.
- Why is Thor the best navigator? He’s a natural at the compass.
- What does Thor use to write a letter? His Hammer-font typewriter.
- Why did Thor become a baker? He makes a mean thunder bun.
- Why did Thor refuse to go swimming? He didn’t want to get Thor-oughly wet.
- How does Thor motivate his friends? With a pep thunder talk.
- Why does Thor never lose at video games? He uses cheat codes from Asgard.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of pasta? Thor-tellini.
- Why did Thor become a detective? He loved to hammer out the truth.
- Why is Thor a bad stand-up comedian? He always hammers his punchlines too hard.
- How does Thor maintain his glowing skin? With Asgardian lotion.
- Why did Thor become a runner? He liked the feeling of the wind in his hair.
- What does Thor watch on TV? Thunder Friends Network.
- How does Thor keep his house clean? With a vacuum cleaner of Asgard.
- Why does Thor love winter? He enjoys the Thor-sty weather.
- What is Thor’s favorite type of bird? The Thoreagle.
- What’s Thor’s favorite novel? War and Thor-ce.
- Why is Thor a great teacher? He always brings his points home with a bang.
- What does Thor take to a picnic? His Hammer-wiches.
- How does Thor celebrate his victories? With a Thoree.
- What does Thor love most about his hammer? Its Thor-mendous power.
- Why did Thor open a restaurant? He believed in cooking with a bang.
- How does Thor stay in shape? He hammers out a few push-ups every morning.
- What’s Thor’s favorite element? Thoreum.
- Why does Thor hate the desert? There’s too much Thor-sand.
- Why did Thor take up fencing? He wanted to improve his parry-thor.
- What does Thor call his fan club? The Thunderbolts.
- Why did Thor fail as a musician? He could only play heavy metal.
- Why is Thor bad at chess? He keeps trying to checkmate with a hammer.
- What does Thor order at a seafood restaurant? Thorester.
- Why does Thor always finish his assignments on time? He never hammers around.
- What’s Thor’s favorite plant? Thor-n bush.
- Why did Thor join the knitting club? He loved weaving thunderous patterns.
- What does Thor call a boring person? A real bore-der of Asgard.
- How does Thor get ready for bed? He hammers down the pillows.
- Why did Thor fail as a hairdresser? His cuts were too shocking.
- Why is Thor good at drumming? He always hits with perfect timing.
- Why did Thor take up painting? He wanted to capture the thunderous skies.
- What is Thor’s favorite kind of fish? Thor-bot.
- Why did Thor start a rock band? He wanted to play thunderous rhythms.
- Why does Thor like the beach? He loves the thunderous waves.
- How does Thor get his clothes so clean? With Thunder detergent.
- Why did Thor get a job at the zoo? He loved the thunder lizards.
- Why did Thor take up meditation? He wanted to be more thor-oughly relaxed.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of bug? Thorefly.
- Why did Thor become a gardener? He was good at weeding out Loki’s mischief.
- What is Thor’s favorite type of shoes? Thunder boots.
- Why did Thor become a vet? He loved Thor-oughbreds.
- What’s Thor’s favorite vegetable? Asparagust.
- Why does Thor love holidays? He enjoys the fireworks, they remind him of his battles.
- Why did Thor take up boxing? He wanted to throw thunderous punches.
- What is Thor’s favorite type of tree? Thor-n Oak.
- How does Thor greet his friends? With a thunderous hello.
- What does Thor call a funny joke? Thor-rific.
- What’s Thor’s favorite game? Hammer toss.
- Why did Thor become an accountant? He was good with Thorough calculations.
- What’s Thor’s favorite food? Anything with a bit of a Thor-kick to it.
- How does Thor cheer up his friends? With a thunderous smile.
- What does Thor call a long story? A Thor-ilogy.
- Why did Thor become a writer? He liked to hammer out his ideas.
- What’s Thor’s favorite instrument? Thunder drums.
- Why did Thor become a sailor? He loved the thunderous seas.
- What’s Thor’s favorite hobby? Thor-igami.
- Why does Thor always have the freshest breath? He uses Thundermint gum.
- Why is Thor always the last one to understand a joke? He’s a bit Thor-ick in the head.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of weather? Thor-nado season.
- What does Thor call a sudden idea? A thunderbolt from the blue.
- Why did Thor start a vineyard? He liked the Thor-ough fermentation process.
- What is Thor’s favorite type of bread? Thunder loaf.
- What is Thor’s favorite constellation? Thor-n Major.
- Why did Thor become a bartender? He liked mixing thunderous cocktails.
- Why does Thor make a great leader? He’s a Thor-ough thinker.
- How does Thor solve his problems? With a thunderous resolution.
- What’s Thor’s favorite type of poetry? Thor-iku.
- Why did Thor become a football coach? He loved the thunderous cheers.
- What is Thor’s favorite part of a ship? The Thor-tle.
- Why did Thor become a photographer? He was good at capturing thunderous moments.
- Why does Thor love the mountains? He loves the echo of his thunderous voice.
- What is Thor’s favorite type of bear? Thor-zly bear.
- Why did Thor become a firefighter? He wanted to quench fires with thunderous force.
- Why did Thor take up yoga? He wanted to achieve a thunderous pose.
- What’s Thor’s favorite flower? Thor-nflowers.
- How does Thor sign his letters? With thunderous regards.