85 squash jokes
- Why was the squash wearing shoes? Because it didn’t want to squash its toes!
- What did the vegetable say to the squash? “Stop butternutting into my business!”
- Why did the squash go to the party? It heard there was going to be a big squash!
- Why was the squash good at tennis? Because it was always serving aces.
- What does a squash do when it’s feeling blue? It calls its gourd friends!
- Why did the squash never argue? Because it was always getting squashed in debates.
- What do you get when you cross a cat and a squash? A purrkin!
- What do you call a rebellious squash? A squashbuckler.
- Why did the squash blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What is a squash’s favorite movie? “Gourd of the Rings”.
- Why did the cucumber break up with the squash? It was tired of being in a pickle!
- Why did the squash go to school? To get a little more ripe!
- What do you call a grumpy squash? A sour gourd!
- What do squashes do at the end of a long day? They sit down and peel off their skins.
- Why do squashes never get lost? Because they always turnip!
- What’s a squash’s favorite music? Beet-boxing.
- What do you call a squash that writes poems? A romantic poetato.
- Why did the squash go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling very well.
- Why are squash so good at math? They always know when to pumpkin up the numbers.
- What’s a squash’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day.
- How do squashes stay in touch? They use their celery phones!
- What’s a squash’s favorite exercise? The squash-up.
- Why are squashes so calm? They always keep their cool-cumber.
- Why did the squash never start a fight? Because it was afraid of getting beet!
- Why do squashes make good detectives? They always root out the truth.
- What did the parent squash say to its child? “You’re gourdgeous!”
- What’s a squash’s favorite game? Hide and leek.
- What’s a squash’s favorite band? The Beetles.
- Why did the squash go to therapy? It had too many layers to peel back.
- How do squashes like their jokes? Corny!
- Why did the squash go to the gym? To work on its peels.
- What’s a squash’s favorite TV show? “Orange is the New Black.”
- What did the squash say when it saw its reflection? “I yam what I yam!”
- Why was the squash always in trouble? It was a bad apple.
- What did the squash wear to the Halloween party? A pumpkin suit!
- Why are squashes so popular? Because they’re always in season.
- Why did the squash join the circus? It was a natural acrobat.
- What’s a squash’s favorite sport? Squash, of course!
- Why did the squash become a banker? It was good at growing interest.
- What do you call a squash that’s a stand-up comedian? A laughin’ gourd.
- What’s a squash’s favorite city? Vine-ce.
- Why did the squash fail the test? It didn’t carrot all.
- What’s a squash’s favourite party game? Pass the pumpkin.
- Why are squashes so good at history? They’re always in the root of it all.
- What’s a squash’s favorite dance? The Mashed Potato.
- Why did the squash go on a diet? It was feeling a little plump-kin.
- How do squashes fix their problems? They squash them!
- Why do squashes make great musicians? Because they always beet the rhythm.
- What did the squash do when it got tired of being orange? It decided to turnip the beet!
- What’s a squash’s favorite meal? Spaghetti squash-eroni.
- How do squashes like to travel? In a root car.
- What do you call a fast squash? A speed gourd!
- Why don’t squashes get lonely? They always hang out in patches.
- What’s a squash’s favorite song? “All You Need is Gourd.”
- Why did the squash never get promoted? It was always stuck in its vine.
- What do you call a thieving squash? A burglar gourd!
- What’s a squash’s favorite drink? Gourd-on’s gin.
- How do squashes greet each other? “Vine to meet you!”
- Why are squashes so bad at keeping secrets? They always spill the beans.
- What’s a squash’s favourite book? “Gourd of the Flies.”
- Why was the squash so good at baseball? It was a natural hitter.
- Why did the squash go to the beach? To get a sun tan-gerine.
- Why did the squash get in trouble at school? It was peeling in class.
- Why did the squash make a great journalist? It always knew the root cause.
- What do squashes use to fix everything? Duct gourd.
- Why do squashes never break up? Because they cantaloupe.
- Why did the squash go to the concert? To see the Beetles live!
- What did the squash say to its friend? “Lettuce turnip the beet!”
- Why was the squash so popular? Because it was a-peel-ing.
- What do you call a talkative squash? A yam-merer.
- Why do squashes make great comedians? They have a-peeling jokes!
- Why did the squash go to the gym? It wanted to get gourdgeously fit.
- Why did the squash stop dating the watermelon? It was too seedy.
- Why do squashes never lie? Because they can’t hide their true roots.
- Why did the squash cross the road? To prove it wasn’t a chicken!
- Why did the squash refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? It was afraid of cheetahs.
- What do you call a squash with an attitude? A sassy-fras.
- Why did the squash go to the opera? It wanted to hear some baro-‘beet’ music!
- How do you tell if a squash is smart? It thinks on its feet-root.
- What do you call a secret agent squash? James Gourd.
- Why did the squash become a sailor? It had sea-legumes.
- Why did the squash get an award? It was out-standing in its field.
- What do squashes put on before they go out? Their pea-coats.
- Why did the squash bring a sunflower to the date? It wanted to buttercup her up!
- Why did the squash go to the playground? To go down the slide-r.