57+ solar system jokes

  1. Why didn’t the Sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!
  2. Why did Venus get an air conditioner? Because Mercury moved in next door!
  3. Why doesn’t the Moon use bookmarks? Because it always loses its place in the dark!
  4. What did Mars say to Saturn? “Stop showing off, we get it, you’ve got the rings!”
  5. Why did Jupiter break up with its moon? It said “it’s not you, it’s Io.”
  6. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed space.
  7. Why doesn’t Pluto discuss its feelings? It’s been cold and distant.
  8. Why don’t aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings, it only has one star.
  9. What’s a spaceman’s favorite candy bar? A Milky Way!
  10. Why did the astronaut take a ladder to the bar? He wanted to reach for the stars.
  11. What’s Saturn’s favorite day of the week? Ringsday.
  12. What kind of music does the Earth like? Rock and roll!
  13. What did Mars say to Venus? “Your atmosphere is so heavy!”
  14. Why did the asteroid get a time out? Because it has a bad attitude.
  15. What does Jupiter use to keep its pants up? An asteroid belt!
  16. Why did the Sun get a ticket? It broke the dawn!
  17. Why did Neptune get cold feet? It wasn’t ready for the ring!
  18. Why was the Moon always hungry? It was in its waxing phase.
  19. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a joke? The “comet”dy.
  20. Why is Venus so rude? It has a lot of gas.
  21. What do planets use to call each other? A “universe”-al phone!
  22. Why did Earth break up with Mars? It said, “I need space.”
  23. Why is the Moon always following the Earth? It’s infatuated with its gravity.
  24. Why was the solar system a bad football team? It only had one star.
  25. Why was Mercury unhappy? It had a severe case of sunburn.
  26. What does the Moon do when it’s stressed? It phases out!
  27. Why did the Sun bring sunglasses? It didn’t want to eclipse its eyes.
  28. What do you call a Martian who can sing? Bruno Mars.
  29. What’s the Sun’s favorite song? “You are my sunshine!”
  30. Why doesn’t the Sun have any secrets? It’s too bright to hide anything.
  31. How does Saturn cheer its team? Go, Rings, Go!
  32. How does the Moon cut its hair? Eclipse it!
  33. What’s an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer? The space bar!
  34. Why is Uranus always getting lost? It can never find its rings.
  35. Why was the Milky Way so quiet? It didn’t want to wake up the Mars bars.
  36. Why was the Sun always invited to parties? It was the light of the party.
  37. Why does Jupiter never get lost? It has four guiding moons.
  38. Why did the comet break up with the asteroid? It felt they were drifting apart.
  39. How does Neptune organize its schedule? It uses a tide-table.
  40. What’s the best way to organize a space party? You planet.
  41. Why is Mars known as the “Red Planet”? Because it’s always blushing!
  42. What did the alien say to the gas giant? “You’re out of this world!”
  43. How does the solar system prepare a meal? It uses a microwave.
  44. Why did the Sun go on a diet? It felt a bit too round.
  45. Why do we never see the dark side of the Moon? It has a shady past.
  46. Why did the astronaut go broke? He invested in the wrong space stocks!
  47. Why was Pluto disappointed? It got downgraded to a “dwarf” planet.
  48. What’s an astronaut’s favorite meal? Launch.
  49. Why did the Sun go to school? To get brighter!
  50. Why did the Earth break up with the Moon? It couldn’t handle the phases.
  51. Why did the stars go to school? To get a little brighter.
  52. Why did the spaceship get a parking ticket? It was parked in a “no fly” zone!
  53. How does the Sun style its hair? With comet gel.
  54. Why did Venus go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the greenhouse gases.
  55. How does an astronaut cut his hair? He eclipse it!
  56. Why doesn’t Saturn share its rings? It doesn’t like to be the center of attention.
  57. How does the Sun know it’s going to be a good day? It just dawns on it.
  58. Why doesn’t the Moon go out during the day? It’s not a morning person.
  59. Why was the moon upset with the Sun? It felt overshadowed.
  60. How does the Earth get around the solar system? It rotates!
  61. Why did Uranus go to the party? It heard there would be some cool ice giants.
  62. What do you call a lovable little star? A space cutie!
  63. Why did the astronaut take his honey to the Moon? He wanted to show her a stellar time.
  64. Why is the Sun so popular? It has a million degrees of separation.
  65. Why did the asteroid belt break up with the Kuiper belt? It found out about the Oort cloud!
  66. How do you know if the Moon is going broke? It’s down to its last quarter.
  67. Why did the comet get kicked out of the solar system? It had a tail of destruction.
  68. Why does the Sun never lie? Because it’s always too bright to tell a fib!
  69. Why is Venus so popular? It’s hot stuff!
  70. How does the Milky Way keep its pants up? With a galaxy belt!
  71. Why do astronauts always carry a map? They don’t want to take a wrong turn at Mars.
  72. How do planets communicate? They use space mail.
  73. Why do stars never gossip? They prefer to keep it light.
  74. Why was the Moon unhappy at the party? It wasn’t the star of the night.
  75. What do you call an alien with three eyes? An aliiien.
  76. What do you call a crazy spaceman? An astronut.
  77. Why did the black hole start eating stars? It had a light appetite.
  78. How do the stars get their teeth so white? With stardust toothpaste.
  79. What did the asteroid say to the meteorite? “You rock!”
  80. Why did the galaxy throw a party? It had space for everyone.
  81. Why did the astronaut take a nap? He was feeling spaced out.
  82. Why did the Sun join the choir? It had a flare for music.
  83. Why is Saturn so smart? It always does its ring-search.
  84. Why do aliens make crop circles? Because square ones are too mainstream.
  85. Why did the astronaut bring a broom to space? He heard it was full of stardust.
  86. What does a planet use when it gets hurt? A space band-aid.
  87. Why did the asteroid fail its exam? It was too spaced out to study.
  88. What’s an astronaut’s favorite social media site? MySpace.
  89. Why do stars always stick together? They have stellar bonds.
  90. How does the Sun greet the planets? “Good morning, sunshine!”
  91. How do you organize a space camp? You planet well.
  92. What’s a light-year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
  93. Why did the astronaut break up with the Sun? It was too hot to handle.
  94. Why did the Moon get in trouble? It was up all night.
  95. Why did the star go to school? To get a little brighter!
  96. What do you call a sad moon? A blue moon.
  97. Why do asteroids never get lonely? They’re always surrounded by space rocks.
  98. What do you call a funny galaxy? A comic strip.
  99. What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
  100. Why was the astronaut sad? He missed his space-dog.
  101. Why don’t stars fight each other? They prefer to twinkle than wrinkle.
  102. Why is the Milky Way so clean? It’s always vacuuming.
  103. What do you call a lovable moon? A lunar-tic!
  104. What’s an astronaut’s favorite place in a city? The downtown area.
  105. Why do aliens always carry a spare tire? In case they get a flat Mars.
  106. Why do stars make terrible secrets-keepers? They’re always shining a light on things.
  107. What’s the best thing about living in the solar system? The view is out of this world!
  108. Why did the astronaut refuse a second cup of coffee? He said it was too ground for his taste.
  109. Why don’t planets like to read newspapers? Too much circulation!
  110. Why do stars love jokes? They have a great sense of “humoroid.”
  111. What did the black hole say to the planet? “I’m really drawn to you.”
  112. Why did the meteor go to school? It wanted to be a little meteor!
  113. Why do spacemen love their job? It’s always uplifting.
  114. How do you throw a party for a comet? You “planet” and then you “comet”!
  115. Why did the planet get a torch? It wanted to lighten up its atmosphere.
  116. How do you know the Sun is a great baker? It makes a perfect rise every morning.
  117. What’s a star’s favorite clothing brand? “Star-bucks.”
  118. What do you call a spacecraft that’s good at catching fish? A “trawler” probe.
  119. Why do the moon and stars fight so much? They just can’t eclipse their differences.
  120. Why does the Milky Way never get lost? It always follows its star map.
  121. What did the alien say when it saw an astronaut? “You’re out of your world!”
  122. Why do stars love coffee? It keeps them in the Milky Way.
  123. What’s a black hole’s favorite food? Spaghettification!
  124. What do you call a gossiping comet? A “chatteroid.”
  125. Why did the spaceship go to the repair shop? It had a gas giant leak!
  126. What did the comet say to the asteroid? “You’re a real shooting star!”
  127. Why was the alien a great comedian? It always cracked up its audience.
  128. How do you invite a planet to dinner? Comet 6 o’clock!
  129. What’s the Sun’s favorite type of bread? Solar rolls!
  130. How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? When it’s full!
  131. Why did the star go to rehab? It was always spaced out.
  132. What’s a moon’s favorite exercise? Lunar lunges.
  133. Why was the astronaut such a good farmer? He was great at rocket science.
  134. Why was the Sun looking pale? It saw the size of the Milky Way bill!
  135. Why do we always see the same side of the Moon? It’s a bit of a moon-otone.
  136. How do you pay for drinks in space? With “star-bucks.”
  137. Why did the Sun go to the bank? To change some light into “solar” energy.
  138. What’s an alien’s favorite candy? Mars bars.
  139. How do you know when a planet is retired? It stops rotating.
  140. Why did the astronaut go to the party alone? He didn’t want any “atmosphere.”
  141. Why did the galaxy get a ticket? It was speeding through space.
  142. What’s a planet’s favorite cereal? Moon Pops!
  143. How does a planet say hello? It gives you a universal wave.
  144. Why was the planet arrested? It was caught in possession of “asteroids.”
  145. What’s a star’s favorite seasoning? Comet powder.
  146. Why was the star unhappy? It couldn’t twinkle without a night.
  147. Why did the moon visit the sun? It needed some sunlight.
  148. Why did the astronaut bring a map to space? He didn’t want to get caught in a “moonumental” traffic.
  149. Why do planets love school? They get to go on field trips around the Sun!
  150. What did the Sun say to the Moon? “You eclipse my heart!”

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