150 sermon jokes

  1. Why don’t pastors ever play chess? Because the Bishop always has to move diagonally.
  2. What’s a minister’s favorite type of math? SIN-cosine.
  3. Why was the church bookkeeper so good at his job? He always had divine numbers.
  4. Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? To reach the high notes in the hymns!
  5. What did the pastor say to the church cat? Have a little faith, you’ve got to paws and reflect!
  6. Why did the minister never play poker? Because he was afraid of dealing with the cards he was handed.
  7. How do religious text messages get sent? Pray-perless communication.
  8. Why was the church bell always in trouble? Because it always tolled on everyone.
  9. Why was the Bible the best at hide-and-seek? Because nobody can find all the answers in it!
  10. What’s a minister’s favorite hot drink? Holy-tea.
  11. Why did the minister always carry an umbrella? He wanted to have cover in case of holy water.
  12. What kind of car does a pastor prefer? A ‘prays’ler.
  13. Why did the pastor go on a diet? Because he wanted to cast out the demon of gluttony.
  14. Why did the minister bring a broom to church? To clean up the sins.
  15. Why don’t pastors ever play hide and seek? They know everyone’s hiding place is in God.
  16. Why was the minister the best musician? Because he always had a hymn up his sleeve.
  17. What’s a pastor’s favorite type of exercise? ‘Soul’ cycling.
  18. What do you call a pastor who’s also a baker? A holy roller.
  19. What did the pastor say about his new shoes? They are really soulful.
  20. Why are pastors so calm? Because they always have a peace of mind.
  21. How do you get a holy cow? From a devout bull.
  22. Why did the minister go to the fruit market? To get the fruits of the spirit.
  23. Why did the pastor wear green? He wanted to practice being pastoral.
  24. What do you call a minister who is also a gardener? A spiritual cultivator.
  25. What’s a minister’s favorite vegetable? ‘Lettuce’ pray.
  26. Why did the pastor bring a flashlight to the sermon? To highlight the light of the world.
  27. Why do pastors love elevators? They lift the spirit.
  28. Why was the pastor’s sermon like a rainbow? It was full of promises.
  29. Why did the minister only eat beans? He wanted to feel full of holy gas.
  30. What kind of exercise do pastors hate? Running from the truth.
  31. Why do ministers always carry a notebook? To jot down any divine inspiration.
  32. What’s a pastor’s favorite type of music? Gospel and soul.
  33. Why did the pastor bring a clock to the sermon? To make sure he was on God’s time.
  34. Why did the pastor love to jog? He always liked to go the extra mile.
  35. What’s a pastor’s favorite type of nut? Holy peanuts.
  36. Why did the pastor never play football? He didn’t want to fumble the word of God.
  37. Why did the pastor go to art school? To draw people to God.
  38. What do you call a minister who’s a great dancer? A mover of the spirit.
  39. Why did the pastor always drink coffee? To stay awake during his own sermon.
  40. Why was the minister a bad driver? He kept turning the other cheek.
  41. Why did the pastor wear glasses during the sermon? To have a clearer vision of the scriptures.
  42. Why do pastors hate mushrooms? Too much room for sin.
  43. Why did the pastor bring a mirror to church? To reflect on his sins.
  44. Why did the pastor bring a compass to the sermon? To guide his flock in the right direction.
  45. Why did the pastor paint his office blue? It was the color of heaven.
  46. Why did the minister love hiking? He liked to walk in God’s footsteps.
  47. What’s a pastor’s favorite type of bread? Heavenly loaf.
  48. Why did the pastor start a band? To make some joyful noise.
  49. What do you call a funny pastor? A comic prelate.
  50. Why did the pastor have a bee in his bonnet? He was buzzing with God’s word.
  51. What do you call a minister who bakes? A divine chef.
  52. Why did the pastor refuse to play baseball? He didn’t want to steal bases.
  53. Why do pastors hate stairs? They prefer elevations.
  54. What do you call a minister who’s also a lawyer? A biblical defender.
  55. Why did the pastor join the circus? He wanted to spread the gospel far and wide.
  56. Why was the pastor like a tea bag? He always seeped in the word of God.
  57. What do you call a minister who can fix anything? A holy handyman.
  58. Why did the pastor get a dog? So he could practice being a good shepherd.
  59. Why did the pastor never play golf? He didn’t want to get stuck in the sand-trap of sin.
  60. Why was the minister’s sermon like a pencil? It was straight to the point.
  61. Why did the pastor become a farmer? He wanted to sow seeds of faith.
  62. Why did the minister love going to the zoo? He loved all God’s creatures.
  63. What do you call a pastor who is also a poet? A divine versifier.
  64. Why did the pastor take a bath before the sermon? To cleanse himself of sin.
  65. Why was the pastor a bad cook? His sermons were always half-baked.
  66. Why did the pastor always bring a map to church? He didn’t want anyone to lose their way.
  67. Why was the minister a good detective? He could always spot a lie.
  68. Why did the pastor love the beach? He found peace in the waves.
  69. Why did the minister never get sick? He had a lot of faith in his immune system.
  70. Why did the pastor have a green thumb? He loved cultivating faith.
  71. Why did the pastor go to the butcher? To get the lamb of God.
  72. What do you call a minister who’s a great cook? A divine gastronomist.
  73. Why was the pastor like a radio? He always broadcasted good news.
  74. Why did the minister never play hockey? He didn’t want to get into any fights.
  75. Why did the pastor bring a thermometer to church? He wanted to measure the spiritual temperature.
  76. Why did the minister go to the bakery? He wanted to rise like dough.
  77. Why was the pastor’s car always clean? He didn’t want any dirt on his ride.
  78. Why did the minister bring a fan to church? To blow away the sins.
  79. Why did the pastor never wear a watch? He was on God’s time.
  80. Why did the minister always play the trumpet? He loved sounding the horn of salvation.
  81. What’s a minister’s favorite type of soup? Holy broth.
  82. Why did the pastor always have a pencil? To rewrite the wrongs.
  83. What do you call a minister who’s a great swimmer? A holy diver.
  84. Why did the pastor always bring a towel to church? To wipe away the sins.
  85. Why did the minister have a lot of buttons? He liked to keep things buttoned up.
  86. Why did the pastor love the rain? It was like a shower of blessings.
  87. Why did the minister love autumn? He enjoyed the fall of sin.
  88. What do you call a pastor who’s also a dentist? A holy molar.
  89. Why did the pastor bring a hat to church? To cover his humble thoughts.
  90. Why did the minister always use a bookmark? He didn’t want to lose his place in heaven.
  91. What do you call a minister who loves knitting? A divine weaver.
  92. Why did the pastor have a clean desk? He liked to keep his thoughts clear.
  93. Why did the minister love fishing? He was a fisher of men.
  94. Why was the pastor like a tree? He was always spreading the good branches.
  95. Why did the pastor love winter? He loved the purity of the snow.
  96. What do you call a pastor who’s also a barber? A trim and proper preacher.
  97. Why did the pastor bring a notebook to church? He was taking notes from God.
  98. Why did the minister love birds? They reminded him of doves of peace.
  99. What do you call a pastor who’s also a tailor? A divine stitcher.
  100. Why did the pastor never play tennis? He didn’t want to serve sin.
  101. Why was the pastor a great artist? He could draw people to God.
  102. Why did the minister always wear a tie? He wanted to be bound to the Lord.
  103. Why did the pastor love spring? It was all about rebirth.
  104. Why did the minister always carry an eraser? He believed in second chances.
  105. Why did the pastor have a sharp mind? He was always honing his faith.
  106. What do you call a pastor who’s a great runner? A divine sprinter.
  107. Why did the pastor love stars? They reminded him of the heavenly hosts.
  108. Why did the minister always bring a suitcase to church? He was packing his faith.
  109. Why was the pastor a great sailor? He could weather any storm.
  110. What do you call a minister who loves to read? A divine bookworm.
  111. Why did the pastor always bring a blanket to church? To comfort his flock.
  112. Why did the minister love trees? They reminded him of the tree of life.
  113. What do you call a pastor who’s also a gardener? A divine tiller.
  114. Why did the pastor always have a calendar? He was counting his blessings.
  115. Why did the minister love the moon? It was a reminder of the lesser light.
  116. What do you call a pastor who loves basketball? A holy dunker.
  117. Why did the pastor always carry a handkerchief? To wipe away tears of joy.
  118. Why did the minister love roses? They were a symbol of divine love.
  119. What do you call a pastor who loves camping? A holy camper.
  120. Why did the pastor always bring a compass to church? He didn’t want anyone to lose their way.
  121. Why did the minister love the sun? It reminded him of the light of the world.
  122. What do you call a pastor who loves cooking? A divine chef.
  123. Why did the pastor always have a clean house? He was sweeping away the sins.
  124. Why did the minister love clouds? They were like the messengers of heaven.
  125. What do you call a pastor who loves photography? A holy snapper.
  126. Why did the pastor always bring a bell to church? To ring in the good news.
  127. Why did the minister love hills? They reminded him of mount Zion.
  128. What do you call a pastor who loves cycling? A holy rider.
  129. Why did the pastor always carry a torch? He was shining the light of truth.
  130. Why did the minister love butterflies? They were a symbol of transformation.
  131. What do you call a pastor who loves hiking? A divine trekker.
  132. Why did the pastor always bring a ladder to church? He was reaching for heaven.
  133. Why did the minister love the ocean? It reminded him of the depth of God’s love.
  134. What do you call a pastor who loves sailing? A holy navigator.
  135. Why did the pastor always bring a hammer to church? He was nailing sin to the cross.
  136. Why did the minister love rainbows? They were a sign of God’s promise.
  137. What do you call a pastor who loves skiing? A divine slider.
  138. Why did the pastor always bring a ruler to church? He was measuring up to God’s standards.
  139. Why did the minister love the wind? It was like the breath of God.
  140. What do you call a pastor who loves swimming? A holy swimmer.
  141. Why did the pastor always bring a candle to church? He was shedding light on the word.
  142. Why did the minister love birds? They were a symbol of peace.
  143. What do you call a pastor who loves painting? A divine artist.
  144. Why did the pastor always bring a mirror to church? He was reflecting on the word.
  145. Why did the minister love the desert? It was a place of solitude and reflection.
  146. What do you call a pastor who loves writing? A holy scribe.
  147. Why did the pastor always bring a clock to church? He was keeping God’s time.
  148. Why did the minister love the mountains? They were closer to heaven.
  149. What do you call a pastor who loves golf? A holy swinger.
  150. Why did the pastor always bring a compass to church? He was guiding his flock.

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