72 Handyman Jokes

Handyman jokes are a lighthearted and entertaining way to poke fun at the world of fixers, builders, and do-it-all enthusiasts. These jokes playfully embrace the challenges and quirks that come with being a handyman while highlighting their problem-solving abilities and creativity in tackling various tasks.

From repairing leaky faucets to building gates, the handyman’s journey is filled with humor, wit, and a touch of wordplay. So, let’s dive into a collection of clever and amusing handyman jokes that celebrate the industrious spirit of these versatile tradespeople.

Top 72 Handyman Jokes:

1. Why did the handyman bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What do you call a handyman who likes to dance? A tap installer.
3. Why did the handyman go broke? Because he kept screwing things up.
4. What did the handyman say when he finished building the gate? I nailed it!
5. Why did the handyman take his door off the hinges? He wanted to make an open and shut case.
6. Why did the handyman become a baker? Because he was good at rolling out the dough.
7. What do you call a handyman who can play the guitar? A plumb-er.
8. Why did the handyman bring a pencil behind his ear? In case he came across a sketchy situation.
9. What do you call a handyman who is good at solving mysteries? Sherlock Homes.
10. What did the handyman say to the wall? One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
11. Why did the handyman sleep with his toolbox? He wanted to hit the nail on the head in his dreams.
12. What do you call a handyman who likes gardening? A plant manager.
13. Why was the screwdriver the handyman’s favorite tool? Because it always turned things around.
14. What did the painter say to the wall? Don’t move, I’ve got you covered.
15. Why did the handyman break up with his girlfriend? Because she had too many walls up.
16. What do you call a handyman who works in a zoo? A repair-bear.
17. Why did the handyman take his door to the psychologist? Because it had a complex hinge issue.
18. Why did the handyman bring a hammer to the dinner? Because he wanted to nail the steak.
19. What did the handyman say to the faulty faucet? Stop dripping me crazy.
20. Why did the handyman go to the party? Because he heard it was off the wall.
21. What do you call a handyman who works in a forest? A branch manager.
22. Why did the handyman get kicked out of the library? Because he was making too much noise with his drill.
23. What did the handyman do when his cat got stuck in the tree? He climbed the ladder of success.
24. Why did the handyman carry a ruler at all times? Because he always wanted to measure up.
25. What do you call a handyman who works in a church? A pew-tician.
26. Why did the handyman go to the amusement park? Because he wanted to ride the roller.
27. What did the handyman say to his lazy assistant? You need to pull your weight… and this heavy door.
28. Why did the handyman get a job at the circus? He was good at juggling tasks.
29. What do you call a handyman who’s good at math? A pro-tractor.
30. Why did the handyman apply for a job at the aquarium? Because he was good at fixing leaks.
31. What did the handyman say to his new drill? Let’s get straight to the point.
32. Why did the handyman start a band? Because he had all the right tools to make hits.
33. What do you call a handyman who works in a castle? A knight repairman.
34. Why did the handyman refuse to play chess? Because he was tired of check-mates.
35. What did the handyman say to his noisy saw? Cut it out!
36. Why did the handyman become a baseball coach? Because he knew the drill.
37. What do you call a handyman who’s also a magician? A fix-illusionist.
38. Why did the handyman go to the opera? He was hoping to fix the high notes.
39. What did the handyman say to the broken window? Let me pane you!
40. Why did the handyman go to the beach? He heard there was a lot of sand-paper there.
41. What do you call a handyman with a cold? A runny faucet.
42. Why did the handyman become a referee? He was good at making calls.
43. What did the handyman say to the broken clock? Your time is up!
44. Why did the handyman go to the pet store? He was looking for a stud-finder.
45. What do you call a handyman at a rock concert? A stage builder.
46. Why did the handyman join the orchestra? He wanted to conduct electricity.
47. What did the handyman say to the leaky pipe? You’re draining my patience.
48. Why did the handyman go to the casino? He wanted to hit the jackpot.
49. What do you call a handyman who’s also a comedian? A crack-up artist.
50. Why did the handyman go to the bakery? He was tired of loafing around.
51. What did the handyman say to the unsteady table? I got this, stand still!
52. Why did the handyman go to the gym? He wanted to work on his nuts and bolts.
53. What do you call a handyman who likes to write? A grammar carpenter.
54. Why did the handyman go to the museum? He heard there was an exhibition on ancient tools.
55. What did the handyman say to the squeaky door? I can’t handle you when you’re like this.
56. Why did the handyman go to the shoe store? He wanted to fix his sole.
57. What do you call a handyman who’s also a doctor? A surgery technician.
58. Why did the handyman go to the horse race? He wanted to see if he could fix the odds.
59. What did the handyman say to the old house? Let’s shake the dust off.
60. Why did the handyman go to the supermarket? He wanted to pick up some nails for dinner.
61. What do you call a handyman who loves fashion? A clothes hanger.
62. Why did the handyman go to the zoo? He heard there was a job opening for fixing animal houses.
63. What did the handyman say to the stubborn screw? You’re driving me nuts.
64. Why did the handyman go to the jungle? He wanted to work on his tree-mming skills.
65. What do you call a handyman who loves to cook? A kitchen installer.
66. Why did the handyman go to the movie theater? He wanted to fix the popcorn machine.
67. What did the handyman say to the loose floorboard? I feel you tripping me up.
68. Why did the handyman go to the flower shop? He heard they needed help with plant maintenance.
69. What do you call a handyman who loves to sing? A vocal mechanic.
70. Why did the handyman go to the computer store? He wanted to work on his hard drive.
71. What did the handyman say to the leaky roof? You’re ruining my ceiling-s.
72. Why did the handyman go to the farm? He wanted to fix the barn door.

Conclusion

In the realm of humor, handyman jokes demonstrate the enduring appeal of wordplay and the ability to find laughter in the everyday challenges of life. As we’ve explored these witty and humorous quips, we’ve come to appreciate the resourcefulness and ingenuity that a handyman brings to the table. Their ability to juggle multiple tasks, fix things up with a clever twist, and maintain a sense of humor while doing so is truly commendable.

So, the next time you encounter a handyman hard at work, remember these jokes and appreciate the skill and dedication behind their craft. After all, they are the ones who can “nail it” in their dreams, fix leaks like no other, and “measure up” to any challenge that comes their way. Here’s to all the handymen and handywomen out there, who keep our world running smoothly and make us smile with their fix-it finesse.