57+ recovery jokes

  1. Why don’t therapists play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when it’s time to express your feelings!
  2. Why did the antidepressant go to school? Because it needed to learn how to elevate mood!
  3. Why did the yoga instructor break up with the chiropractor? She said he had too many adjustments to make.
  4. What do you call a recovery group for coffee addicts? Espressoholics Anonymous.
  5. Why did the elevator go to therapy? It was dealing with a lot of ups and downs.
  6. Why did the counselor bring a ladder to the session? Because it’s all about taking steps to recovery!
  7. What did one recovery journal say to the other? “You read my mind.”
  8. Why did the psychologist install an extra window in his office? Because he believed in always having a “pane-less” session!
  9. Why don’t therapists go fishing? Because they’re always trying to avoid the hooks.
  10. How does a psychiatrist make a house call? By ringing the Freudian bell.
  11. Why did the therapist invite the punctuation mark to join the session? He heard it was going through a period.
  12. What did the past say to the future at the therapy session? “I am present.”
  13. How does a gym rat go to therapy? One rep at a time.
  14. Why did the light bulb go to therapy? It wasn’t feeling very bright.
  15. Why did the smartphone need therapy? It lost all its contacts and felt isolated.
  16. Why did the book go to the therapist? It had too many issues with its chapters.
  17. How does a clock recover? It takes time.
  18. Why did the cookie go to therapy? It crumbled under pressure.
  19. Why was the computer cold at the therapist’s office? It left its Windows open.
  20. What did the shoe say in therapy? “I feel so unheeled.”
  21. What did the elevator say in therapy? “I’m taking things to another level.”
  22. Why did the therapist write a book about camping? She was an expert on intense situations!
  23. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  24. How do comedians recover? One joke at a time.
  25. Why did the computer take its antidepressants? It had too many bad bytes.
  26. How does a cat recover? It paws-es to reflect.
  27. What did the tomato say in therapy? “I feel like I’m always playing ketchup.”
  28. Why did the music note go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the treble.
  29. Why don’t therapists like to play cards with jungle cats? Too many cheetahs!
  30. Why did the printer go to therapy? It felt like its life was in a constant jam.
  31. Why did the bicycle fall over in therapy? It was two-tired.
  32. What did the paper say to the pencil? “You’ve got a great point.”
  33. How does a coffee bean recover? It filters out the bad.
  34. Why did the yoga mat go to therapy? It felt walked all over.
  35. How does a football player recover? He takes things one down at a time.
  36. Why did the mirror go to therapy? It was tired of reflecting others.
  37. Why did the rubber band go to the therapist? It was feeling stretched to the limit.
  38. Why did the therapist go to the bakery? He heard they kneaded him.
  39. Why did the sunflower go to therapy? It was looking for some light in its life.
  40. How does a gardener recover? One weed at a time.
  41. Why did the calendar go to therapy? Its days were numbered.
  42. What did the beach say to the wave? “You crash at my place too much.”
  43. Why did the therapist go to the art class? He wanted to draw conclusions.
  44. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
  45. How does a boxer recover? He rolls with the punches.
  46. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  47. Why did the thermostat go to the therapist? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
  48. Why did the computer screen go to therapy? It had too many windows to worry about.
  49. How does a chess player recover? One move at a time.
  50. What did the tree say in therapy? “I feel so rooted in my problems.”
  51. Why did the grape go to therapy? It was tired of being pressed.
  52. What did the pencil say to the paper in therapy? “I’m drawn to your problems.”
  53. Why did the weather vane go to therapy? It was always under pressure to point in the right direction.
  54. What did the needle say to the thread in therapy? “I’m just going through a phase.”
  55. Why did the fly never go to therapy? It was always buzzing with worry.
  56. Why did the dog bring a ball to therapy? It wanted to get to the root of its fetching obsession.
  57. How does a dancer recover? One step at a time.
  58. Why did the trampoline go to therapy? It was tired of being jumped on.
  59. How does a mathematician recover? He subtracts the negatives.
  60. Why did the river go to therapy? It had too many bends and curves.
  61. How does an artist recover? One stroke at a time.
  62. Why did the traffic light go to therapy? It was tired of being told when to stop and go.
  63. What did the heart say in therapy? “I need to ventricle.”
  64. Why did the donut visit a therapist? It was tired of feeling empty inside.
  65. How does a writer recover? One word at a time.
  66. Why did the therapist become a gardener? He was good at getting to the root of the problem.
  67. Why did the skateboard go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the grind.
  68. What did the lighthouse say in therapy? “I always feel so high and mighty.”
  69. How does a bird recover? One feather at a time.
  70. Why did the bird go to therapy? It had too many tweets running through its head.
  71. Why did the bridge go to therapy? It couldn’t get over it.
  72. What did the piece of fruit say in therapy? “I feel like I’m always getting picked on.”
  73. Why did the piano go to therapy? It felt out of tune.
  74. How does a fish recover? It just keeps swimming.
  75. Why did the door go to therapy? It always felt unhinged.
  76. What did the lamp say in therapy? “I feel so switched off.”
  77. Why did the pillow go to therapy? It was too stuffed with emotions.
  78. How does a musician recover? One note at a time.
  79. Why did the blanket go to therapy? It felt smothered.
  80. What did the cat say in therapy? “I feel like I’m always being judged.”
  81. Why did the band go to therapy? They couldn’t find their rhythm.
  82. How does a surfer recover? One wave at a time.
  83. Why did the ocean go to therapy? It felt like it was drowning in problems.
  84. What did the balloon say in therapy? “I feel so deflated.”
  85. Why did the compass go to therapy? It couldn’t find its way.
  86. How does a sailor recover? One knot at a time.
  87. Why did the chalk go to therapy? It felt like it was always being stepped on.
  88. What did the water bottle say in therapy? “I’m always getting squeezed.”
  89. Why did the mountain go to therapy? It had too many highs and lows.
  90. How does a cook recover? One recipe at a time.
  91. Why did the pancake go to therapy? It couldn’t flip the script.
  92. What did the brick say in therapy? “I feel so blocked.”
  93. Why did the clock go to therapy? It was ticked off all the time.
  94. How does a hiker recover? One trail at a time.
  95. Why did the bell go to therapy? It was always getting rung out.
  96. What did the flower say in therapy? “I feel so picked on.”
  97. Why did the rose go to therapy? It couldn’t deal with the thorns in its life.
  98. How does a gardener recover? One plant at a time.
  99. Why did the bathtub go to therapy? It felt drained.
  100. What did the mailbox say in therapy? “I’m always getting stuffed.”
  101. Why did the fire go to therapy? It felt burnt out.
  102. How does a runner recover? One mile at a time.
  103. Why did the moon go to therapy? It had a dark side.
  104. What did the eraser say in therapy? “I feel so wiped out.”
  105. Why did the turtle go to therapy? It couldn’t come out of its shell.
  106. How does a scientist recover? One experiment at a time.
  107. Why did the train go to therapy? It had too much locomotion.
  108. What did the egg say in therapy? “I feel so cracked.”
  109. Why did the snowman go to therapy? It had a meltdown.
  110. How does a photographer recover? One snapshot at a time.
  111. Why did the pen go to therapy? It was under too much pressure.
  112. What did the battery say in therapy? “I feel so drained.”
  113. Why did the rainbow go to therapy? It felt too spread out.
  114. How does a teacher recover? One lesson at a time.
  115. Why did the circus go to therapy? It had too many juggling acts.
  116. What did the tire say in therapy? “I feel so deflated.”
  117. Why did the broom go to therapy? It felt brushed aside.
  118. How does a beekeeper recover? One buzz at a time.
  119. Why did the spider go to therapy? It was webbed in problems.
  120. What did the leaf say in therapy? “I feel so fallen.”
  121. Why did the salad go to therapy? It was mixed up.
  122. How does a dog owner recover? One walk at a time.
  123. Why did the car go to therapy? It couldn’t get its gears together.
  124. What did the feather say in therapy? “I feel so light-headed.”
  125. Why did the hairbrush go to therapy? It went through too many tangles.
  126. How does a lifeguard recover? One swim at a time.
  127. Why did the kite go to therapy? It felt so winded up.
  128. What did the shovel say in therapy? “I feel so dug up.”
  129. Why did the straw go to therapy? It sucked up too many problems.
  130. How does a poet recover? One line at a time.
  131. Why did the stairs go to therapy? It felt stepped on.
  132. What did the phone charger say in therapy? “I feel so used.”
  133. Why did the hat go to therapy? It felt so topped off.
  134. How does a baker recover? One dough at a time.
  135. Why did the teapot go to therapy? It felt so steamed up.
  136. What did the sunglasses say in therapy? “I feel so shaded.”
  137. Why did the snowflake go to therapy? It felt unique, but cold.
  138. How does a racecar driver recover? One lap at a time.
  139. Why did the firefly go to therapy? It felt so burned out.
  140. What did the paintbrush say in therapy? “I feel so brushed off.”
  141. Why did the photograph go to therapy? It felt too developed.
  142. How does an architect recover? One blueprint at a time.
  143. Why did the fridge go to therapy? It couldn’t handle being cold all the time.
  144. What did the soap say in therapy? “I feel so washed up.”
  145. Why did the scissors go to therapy? It couldn’t cut it anymore.
  146. How does a bee recover? One buzz at a time.
  147. Why did the hammer go to therapy? It was tired of hitting rock bottom.
  148. What did the sweater say in therapy? “I feel so unwound.”
  149. Why did the moon go to therapy? It was going through phases.
  150. How does a sailor recover? One tide at a time.

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