150 rat jokes

Why don’t rats use Facebook? Because they’re already on the ‘gram!
What do you call a rat that can sing? A mouse-ician!
Why are rats great at soccer? Because they are always squeaking by the defenders!
What do you call a rat who can cook? Ratatouille!
What do you call a rat that writes poems? A litera-rat!
What is a rat’s favorite game? Hide and squeak!
Why did the rat join the gym? To get a little more mouse-le!
What’s a rat’s favorite type of cheese? Mice-arella!
What type of car does a rat drive? A squeak-up truck!
How does a rat stop a video? By pressing the paws button!
What did the rat say to his girlfriend? “I’m squeaky clean for our date night!”
Why did the rat break up with its partner? They found someone more g-rat-ifying!
What did the rat say when it broke its phone? “I cracked my squeak-er!”
Why did the rat bring toilet paper to the party? He was a party pooper!
Why don’t rats ever go bald? Because they use sham-rat!
Why don’t rats play hide and seek? Because they always peep squeak!
Why did the rat refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? Because he suspected cheetah!
What do you call a rat with a top hat? Rat-gentleman!
Why did the rat go to space? To visit the cheese moon!
What do rats wear to the beach? Squeak-inis!
Why are rats terrible at basketball? They dribble too much before they squeak!
Why did the rat fail his driving test? He took a wrong squeak!
Why don’t rats like fast food? Because it’s bad for their squeak!
Why did the rat cross the road? Because it smelled cheese on the other side!
What did the fitness rat say to the lazy rat? “You’ve got to work for your mouse-le!”
Why are rats always calm? Because they’re always at mouse-peace!
What do you call a rat that tells tall tales? A cheese liar!
Why did the rat join the circus? Because he was a high-wire act!
What did the rat say to his friend on New Year’s Eve? “I can’t wait to see the ball squeak down!”
Why don’t rats have bank accounts? Because they hide their cheese under the bed!
How does a rat say goodbye? Catch you later, cheesegator!
Why do rats make terrible secret agents? They always squeak!
Why did the rat become a politician? He was tired of the rat race!
Why don’t rats like rainy days? It’s bad for their rat-do!
What do you call a rat that can pick up an elephant? Sir!
Why was the rat sitting on the clock? He wanted to be on mouse time!
What did the rat say to the cat? You’re not my meow type!
What do rats say before dining? Bon Appe-cheese!
Why did the rat join the baking contest? He kneaded the dough!
Why do rats love math? It makes their tails Fibonacci squeak!
Why are rats never lost? They always rat-urn home!
What do you call a rat that’s always tired? Rat-tired!
What do you call a rat with a cold? A snotty rodent!
Why did the rat break up with his girlfriend? She had a roving eye for mice!
What’s a rat’s favorite type of exercise? Squeak training!
Why was the rat at the computer? He was updating his web-rat!
What did the cheese say to the rat? Stop chasing me!
Why are rats bad dancers? They have two left feet!
Why did the rat go to the doctor? It had a case of mouse-tletoe!
What do you call a rat who doesn’t take showers? A dirty rat!
What do you call a baby rat? A squeaker!
Why did the rat move to the city? To get a taste of the rat-ified air!
Why are rats good at running marathons? They never rat out of breath!
Why did the rat wear sunglasses? Because his future was so bright!
What do you call a rat who likes to dig? A rat-tle!
Why did the rat become a gardener? He liked to plant cheese!
What do rats do when they’re in love? They whisker away!
Why are rats so dramatic? They always overreact to mouse-traps!
What is a rat’s favorite drink? Root beer with a squeak of lemon!
Why did the rat become a detective? He wanted to be a private eye!
What’s a rat’s favorite dessert? Cheese-cake!
What did the rat say at the stand-up comedy show? “That joke was too cheesy!”
Why did the rat become a sailor? He was tired of the mainland and wanted to go to sea!
What do you call a rat that’s always getting into trouble? A mischie-rat!
Why don’t rats like winter? They can’t find their squeakwear!
Why did the rat become a teacher? He liked to educate others about cheese!
Why do rats never forget? Because they have a great rat-membrance!
Why did the rat go to the music concert? He wanted to hear the bass squeak!
Why did the rat bring a ladder? He heard the cheese was on the top shelf!
Why did the rat join the yoga class? He wanted to achieve inner squeak!
What do you call a rat that takes things slowly? A pro-rat-stinator!
What is a rat’s favorite book? “The Tale of Two Squeakies!”
Why do rats always stay up late? They’re night rodents!
Why did the rat bring an umbrella? He heard it was going to rain cats and dogs!
Why was the rat always getting in trouble at school? He was too squeaky!
Why did the rat go to the art gallery? He heard there was a Picasso on cheese!
What do you call a rat in a spaceship? An astro-rat!
What’s a rat’s favorite musical? Les Mis-rat-bles!
What do you call a rat that lies? A rat-ascal!
Why did the rat go to the theater? He wanted to see a squeak-quel!
Why did the rat go to the dentist? He had a cavity in his cheese tooth!
What do you call a rat that can do magic? A rat-dini!
What is a rat’s favorite song? “We are the Champions, my mice!”
Why did the rat become a lawyer? He was good at squeaking out of trouble!
Why did the rat go to the cooking class? He wanted to make gourmet cheese!
What do you call a rat that is always rushing around? A hurry-rat!
What do you call a rat that can swim? A water rat!
Why are rats so good at video games? They have quick paws!
Why did the rat start a cleaning business? He liked to tidy up his cheese!
What is a rat’s favorite candy? Cheese Drops!
What do you call a rat that’s always silent? A rat-atique!
What did the rat say to the elephant? You’re irrelephant!
Why did the rat write a book? He wanted to tell his “tail”!
What do you call a rat in a vending machine? A snack-rat!
Why did the rat join the library? He loved the smell of old cheese!
Why did the rat bring a flashlight? He was looking for hidden cheese!
What is a rat’s favorite time of day? Squeakfast time!
Why did the rat go to a disco? He loved to do the cheese boogie!
What do you call a rat with a time machine? A rat to the future!
Why did the rat go to the spa? He needed a squeak-end getaway!
Why did the rat take the cheese to the party? He thought it was a grating event!
What do you call a rat that can dance? A disco rat!
Why did the rat visit the zoo? He wanted to squeak to the animals!
What do you call a rat who can paint? Rat-casso!
Why do rats always win at chess? They always check-mate!
What do you call a rat with a jetpack? A rocket-rat!
Why did the rat go to the opera? He wanted to hear the high squeak!
What is a rat’s favorite city? Cheeseyattle!
Why did the rat join the racing team? He loved the rat race!
What do you call a rat with a map? An explorer-rat!
Why was the rat always the first one to arrive? He didn’t like to be late-rat!
Why did the rat take a nap? He needed a mouse doze!
What do you call a rat that doesn’t like to share? A rat-hog!
Why did the rat become a mechanic? He loved to rat-tle engines!
Why did the rat go to the psychiatrist? He was feeling less than g-rat-e!
Why was the rat wearing a watch? He wanted to keep track of squeak time!
What do you call a rat in a fast car? A speed-rat!
Why did the rat become a photographer? He wanted to take “cheese” photos!
Why did the rat go on a diet? He was feeling a bit “over-cheesed”!
Why did the rat love to play poker? He had a good poker face!
What do you call a rat in a suit? A corpor-rat!
What did the rat bring to the picnic? Cheesy sandwiches!
Why did the rat go to the movies? He heard there was a new squeak-quel!
Why do rats make good waiters? They always deliver the cheese on time!
Why did the rat carry a notebook? He loved to jot down his cheese recipes!
What do you call a rat in the army? A rat-eral!
Why was the rat always reading? He loved a good story with a twist in the “tail”!
Why did the rat become a pirate? He was after the buried cheese!
What’s a rat’s favorite thing to watch on TV? Cheese of Thrones!
Why do rats never pay their bills? They always say “put it on my tabby”!
Why did the rat become a boxer? He had a great right hook!
What do you call a rat in a tumble dryer? A spin-rat!
Why was the rat always late? He had a bad case of rat-titude!
Why did the rat love Halloween? He loved to squeak and scare!
Why did the rat go to the beauty salon? He wanted a new rat-do!
Why did the rat never talk on the phone? He preferred to text, it was less squeaky!
What do you call a rat that is always happy? A rat-iant!
Why did the rat become a barber? He loved to trim mouse-taches!
Why was the rat afraid of the water? He didn’t want to get his paws wet!
Why did the rat start a band? He wanted to make some noise!
What do you call a rat on a motorcycle? A rat-roader!
Why did the rat go to the party? He heard it was going to be a squeak blast!
What is a rat’s favorite movie? Squeak Wars!
Why did the rat join the choir? He had a squeaky voice!
Why did the rat go to school? He wanted to improve his rat-iculation!
What do you call a rat that is always shopping? A rat-tail consumer!
What is a rat’s favorite exercise? Rat-lates!
Why was the rat so good at tennis? He had a strong backhand!
Why did the rat go to the coffee shop? He loved the smell of fresh brew-rat!
Why did the rat join the gym? He heard there was a new cheese protein shake!

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