101 Noah’s Ark Jokes

Noah’s Ark is a timeless biblical tale that has captured the imagination of people for generations. The story of Noah, his family, and the animals that joined him on the great Ark to survive a catastrophic flood has not only served as a symbol of divine salvation but has also inspired a multitude of humorous anecdotes and jokes.

These jokes offer a lighthearted perspective on this iconic story, showcasing the creativity and humor that can arise from a familiar narrative. From puns about the animals to witty one-liners about Noah’s unique challenges on the Ark, the humor surrounding this tale is as diverse as the animals themselves.

Noah's Ark Jokes

Top 101 Noah’s Ark Jokes:

  1. Why don’t animals play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was always standing on the deck.
  2. What animal could Noah not trust on the Ark? The cheetah.
  3. Why couldn’t Noah catch many fish during the flood? Because he only had two worms.
  4. Why did the Ark smell so bad? Because all the animals went potty-trained!
  5. Why couldn’t Noah find his robe on the Ark? Because it was a “robe-ark!”
  6. What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark? “Now I herd everything!”
  7. Why was Noah the best businessman in the Bible? He floated his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
  8. Why did Noah always carry a pencil? In case he wanted to draw blood.
  9. Why was Noah a skillful financier? He managed to keep his stock afloat during the worst flood of all time.
  10. Why did Noah never go fishing? He only had two worms.
  11. What do you call a dog that survived the Ark? A Bark survivor.
  12. Why did Noah have to discipline the lightning? Because it kept trying to strike!
  13. Why did the people on the other side of the flood laugh at Noah? Because they were in de-Nile.
  14. Why did Noah always pack extra pairs of pants? Because he heard there would be a flood.
  15. Why did the horse feel guilty on the Ark? It had a knight-mare about not getting on board.
  16. How do we know that Noah was a great investor? He floated his stock while everything else was in liquidation.
  17. Why was the math book sad after reading about Noah’s Ark? It had too many problems.
  18. What did Noah use to light the Ark? Floodlights.
  19. What do you call an animal that didn’t make it to Noah’s Ark? Extinct.
  20. What do you call a boat full of polite football players? Noah’s “Ark-ansas”.
  21. Why didn’t Noah ever play hide and seek with the animals? Because the cheetah always won.
  22. Why was Noah’s job at the Ark so difficult? He had to go into animal management.
  23. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Floodlights!
  24. How did Noah see the animals in the dark? With flood lighting.
  25. Why didn’t the lion eat the other animals on the Ark? Because it wasn’t a mane course.
  26. Why did the tomato turn red on Noah’s Ark? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  27. What did the grape say when Noah stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  28. Why was Noah great at multitasking? Because he managed to keep his ship together while taking care of a zoo.
  29. Why didn’t the leopard escape from Noah’s Ark? Because he couldn’t find a spot.
  30. Why was it hard to play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck.
  31. What’s Noah’s favorite exercise? The ark-kick.
  32. Why was Noah a great comedian? Because he always cracked up the animals.
  33. What’s Noah’s favorite part of a song? The ark-estra.
  34. Why did Noah become a sailor? He wanted to ark-hieve his dreams.
  35. Why didn’t Noah let lions play cards on the Ark? Because he was afraid they might be cheetahs.
  36. Why did Noah never get lost? Because he always followed the gopher wood.
  37. How do we know Noah was a good farmer? He made it rain for forty days and forty nights.
  38. Why was Noah the best chef on the Ark? Because he knew how to make it rain food.
  39. What type of music did Noah listen to on the Ark? Hip-pop, because of all the animals.
  40. Why did Noah build his own boat? Because he wanted to become an ark-itect.
  41. How did Noah organize a party in the Ark? He planned it to be shipshape.
  42. What do you call Noah’s selfies with animals? Ark-ives.
  43. Why did the animals refuse to play chess with Noah? Because he was a cheetah.
  44. Why did Noah prefer old age? Because it was the only time he didn’t feel under the weather.
  45. Why did Noah become a writer? To tell ark-tales.
  46. Why did the cat sit next to the lion on the Ark? Because it didn’t want to be a chicken.
  47. Why did Noah become a gardener? He wanted to grow plant-ark.
  48. Why did Noah make a lot of pancakes on the Ark? To stop the animals from flipping out.
  49. What do you call a boat that Noah couldn’t finish building? An Ark-nemesis.
  50. Why did the bear bring toilet paper to the Ark? Because he couldn’t bear to leave it behind.
  51. Why did the animals go on strike on Noah’s Ark? They wanted better koala-ty of life.
  52. Why did Noah become a musician? He loved the sound of the Ark-ordion.
  53. What kind of car does Noah drive? An Ark-ura.
  54. Why did Noah become a banker? To make his ark-ounts float.
  55. Why did Noah never catch a cold on the Ark? He always stayed in-ship-shape.
  56. Why did Noah keep all his money in the Ark? He wanted his savings to stay afloat.
  57. What’s Noah’s favorite type of math? Ark-imedes’ principle.
  58. What did Noah say when the animals got off the Ark? “I knew you couldn’t resist my animal magnetism.”
  59. What do you call a fight on Noah’s Ark? An ark-gument.
  60. Why did Noah always carry an umbrella? He was expecting rain.
  61. Why did Noah never get tired of the animals? Because he found them all ark-dorable.
  62. What do you call an artistic rendering of Noah’s Ark? An Ark-etypal masterpiece.
  63. What did Noah use to keep the Ark from sinking? Ark-anchors.
  64. What was Noah’s favorite game on the Ark? Ark-nopoly.
  65. Why did Noah always bring an extra pair of pants on the Ark? In case he got into a tight ship.
  66. What did the animals give Noah for his birthday? A surprise p-ark-ty.
  67. Why was Noah bad at basketball? He was afraid of dribbling on the Ark.
  68. What’s the only thing that didn’t make a pair on Noah’s Ark? The worms. They went in apples.
  69. How did Noah keep track of all the animals on the Ark? With a p-ark-ing system.
  70. Why did Noah have a hard time sleeping on the Ark? There was a lot of noise from the animal p-ark-y.
  71. How did Noah keep his pants up while building the Ark? With an ark-belt.
  72. What did Noah say when he finished building the Ark? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
  73. What do you call an angry animal on Noah’s Ark? An ark-rival.
  74. Why did Noah go to the barber? To get an ark-trim.
  75. What’s Noah’s favorite type of exercise on the Ark? Ark-robics.
  76. Why did Noah never forget an animal’s name on the Ark? Because he had a photographic mammary.
  77. Why did Noah build the Ark out of gopher wood? Because he couldn’t find any beaver wood.
  78. What do you call a picture of Noah’s Ark? An Ark-tifact.
  79. Why did Noah never play chess with the lion on the Ark? Because it was the king of the jungle.
  80. Why did the animals on the Ark think Noah was lazy? Because he let the sea do all the work.
  81. How did Noah welcome the animals on the Ark? With open p-arks.
  82. Why was Noah the richest person on the Ark? Because he had all the animal kingdom’s stock.
  83. Why did Noah play the harp on the Ark? He wanted to make harmony.
  84. Why did Noah not allow matches on the Ark? He didn’t want to start a game of animal tag.
  85. How did Noah organize the animals on the Ark? He sorted them by species.
  86. What did Noah do when the Ark started leaking? He decided to plug it with a cork.
  87. What’s Noah’s favorite type of clothing? An ark-etypal raincoat.
  88. How did Noah keep the animals from eating each other? He kept feeding them animal crackers.
  89. Why did Noah take bees on the Ark? For honey-do lists.
  90. What’s Noah’s favorite type of music? Ark-estral.
  91. Why did Noah become a pilot? He always loved ark-onautics.
  92. Why did Noah never lose a game of poker on the Ark? Because he always had two pairs.
  93. Why did Noah never play cards with the jungle cat on the Ark? Because he was a cheetah.
  94. What’s the best way to get a job on Noah’s Ark? Ark-ply within.
  95. What’s Noah’s favorite type of pasta? Ark-aroni.
  96. Why did Noah bring a lot of sweets on the Ark? To keep the sugar gliders happy.
  97. How did Noah keep his clothes fresh on the Ark? He used ark-omatic detergents.
  98. Why did Noah decide to build the Ark? Because he wanted to ensure he had a buoy-ant future.
  99. What did Noah say when he saw the olive branch? “I knew we would land up somewhere!”
  100. Why did Noah always carry a map on the Ark? To avoid going ark-stray.
  101. What did Noah say when he finally saw land? “We’ve ark-ived!”


Noah’s Ark jokes remind us that humor can be found even in the most solemn and well-known stories. Through clever wordplay and imaginative scenarios, these jokes offer a fresh perspective on the biblical narrative, highlighting the enduring appeal of humor as a means to engage with our shared cultural and religious heritage.

Just as Noah and his family found a way to weather the storm, these jokes allow us to weather the challenges of life with a smile, reminding us that a good laugh can be our own kind of salvation. So, the next time you ponder the story of Noah’s Ark, remember to appreciate the laughter it has inspired throughout the years. After all, as Noah might say, “We’ve ark-ived at the heart of humor!”

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