101 Noah Jokes

Noah, a legendary figure from ancient times, is widely known for his role in building an enormous ark to save animals and his family from a catastrophic flood. While the story of Noah and the Ark carries profound spiritual and historical significance, it has also become a source of humor and amusement over the years.

Numerous jokes and puns have sprung up, playfully weaving elements from the tale into lighthearted quips. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, these jokes add a delightful twist to the familiar narrative. In this compilation of Noah jokes, we will explore some of the most amusing and entertaining puns related to the Ark, animals, and Noah himself.

Noah Jokes

Top 101 Noah Jokes:

  1. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? Because he only had two worms!
  2. How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night? He had flood lighting.
  3. How did Noah keep track of all the animals on the Ark? He had a “mew-sletter”.
  4. What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark? “Now I herd everything!”
  5. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck.
  6. What animal could Noah not trust? The cheetah.
  7. Why did Noah have to punish the penguin? It was being a “brrr-d”.
  8. What did the grape say to Noah? “Stop ‘wine-ing’ about the rain!”
  9. What type of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights.
  10. What did Noah say when he found out the Ark was leaking? “There’s a ‘leek’ in the boat!”
  11. Why was Noah a great businessman? Because he made a boatload of money!
  12. How did Noah keep the lions from eating the other animals? He fed them “mane” courses.
  13. Why did Noah never get lost at sea? He floated his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
  14. What did Noah say when the animals got off the Ark? “I knew I was forgetting something!”
  15. What was the first thing Noah did when they got off the Ark? He let the animals out to “air”.
  16. What did the cat say to Noah when the Ark started to move? “I’m feline fine!”
  17. Why did Noah bring exactly one door to the Ark? Because if he brought two, there would be a “door-ty” animals!
  18. Why did Noah always carry an umbrella? Just in case there was “reign”.
  19. Why didn’t Noah catch a cold on the Ark? Because he had plenty of “ant-i-bodies”!
  20. What did Noah say when he finished building the Ark? “I’m ‘board’ now!”
  21. What kind of car does Noah use to move around? An Ark-omobile!
  22. Why did Noah have to go to school? To improve his “Ark-iculation”!
  23. Why did Noah never get tired? He always had a “rest” on the Ark.
  24. What did Noah say to the two termites on the Ark? “We’re going to have a problem here!”
  25. Why did Noah have a lot of feathers on the Ark? Because he had a pair of “ducks”!
  26. Why did Noah build the Ark? Because it was a “drill-it-yourself” project!
  27. What did Noah use to call the animals to the Ark? A “shepherd” app!
  28. What did Noah say when he saw the two snakes? “Hiss-terical!”
  29. What did Noah use to keep the animals calm on the Ark? “Moo-sic”!
  30. What did Noah say to the two spiders on the Ark? “Stop ‘bugging’ me!”
  31. How did Noah see during the rain? He had an “Ark-light”.
  32. Why did Noah have to discipline the monkey? It was always “monkeying” around!
  33. Why did Noah always carry a pen? To keep track of the “sheep”.
  34. Why was Noah the best cook? He had a “stew-ard” on board!
  35. Why did Noah not bring termites onto the Ark? He didn’t want them to “bark” at the wood!
  36. What kind of animal couldn’t Noah trust? The “sly” fox!
  37. Why did Noah become a sailor? Because it was his “destiny” to “sea”!
  38. What do you call an Ark filled with animals? A “zoo-per” boat!
  39. Why did Noah never argue with his wife on the Ark? He didn’t want to “rock the boat”!
  40. What did Noah say when he saw the two turtles? “I tortoise you were faster!”
  41. How did Noah keep his suits wrinkle-free? He had a “pressing” iron on the Ark!
  42. Why was Noah good at basketball? He always had “court” on the Ark.
  43. What did Noah say when he saw the two bees? “Bee-have yourselves!”
  44. Why did Noah make sure to pack sunscreen on the Ark? He didn’t want to get a “sun-ark”.
  45. Why did Noah never feel lonely on the Ark? He had “com-panions”!
  46. Why did Noah bring horses on the Ark? They were “stall-ion” the project!
  47. What did Noah say to the two mosquitoes on the Ark? “Don’t ‘bug’ me!”
  48. Why was Noah a good musician? He had an “ark-estra”!
  49. What did Noah say to the two worms on the Ark? “Quit ‘worming’ around!”
  50. Why did Noah never run out of milk on the Ark? He had a “cow-ntless” supply!
  51. Why did Noah become a gardener after the flood? He had a “green thumb” from handling all the “plant-eaters”.
  52. What did Noah say to the two bats on the Ark? “Quit ‘hanging’ around!”
  53. Why was Noah a good writer? He had a “note-book” on the Ark.
  54. Why did Noah bring birds on the Ark? He wanted to keep it “light”.
  55. What did Noah say when he saw the two snails? “Hurry up, we don’t have all ‘slime’!”
  56. Why did Noah always have fresh bread on the Ark? He had a “baker-dozens”!
  57. Why was Noah never thirsty on the Ark? He had a “water-proof” plan!
  58. Why did Noah bring dogs on the Ark? He wanted “bark”ing security!
  59. What did Noah say to the two rabbits on the Ark? “Quit ‘hopping’ around!”
  60. Why did Noah bring sheep on the Ark? He wanted to keep everything “wool” organized.
  61. What did Noah say to the two squirrels on the Ark? “Quit ‘nuts-ing’ around!”
  62. Why did Noah bring zebras on the Ark? He liked “bar-code” system!
  63. What did Noah say to the two pigs on the Ark? “Quit ‘hogging’ all the food!”
  64. Why did Noah bring elephants on the Ark? He liked “heavy” metal music!
  65. What did Noah say to the two frogs on the Ark? “Quit ‘ribbit-ing’ around!”
  66. Why did Noah bring deer on the Ark? He was a “buck”ing trendsetter!
  67. What did Noah say to the two ants on the Ark? “Quit ‘bugging’ me!”
  68. Why did Noah bring lions on the Ark? He liked a “roaring” good time!
  69. What did Noah say to the two butterflies on the Ark? “Quit ‘fluttering’ around!”
  70. Why did Noah bring giraffes on the Ark? He wanted to “raise the roof”!
  71. What did Noah say to the two owls on the Ark? “Quit’hoot-ing’ around!”
  72. Why did Noah bring kangaroos on the Ark? He liked a “jump-start” in the morning!
  73. What did Noah say to the two fish on the Ark? “Stop ‘flopping’ around!”
  74. Why did Noah bring peacocks on the Ark? He liked “colorful” discussions!
  75. What did Noah say to the two parrots on the Ark? “Quit ‘parroting’ me!”
  76. Why did Noah bring bears on the Ark? He was a “bear-foot” runner!
  77. What did Noah say to the two raccoons on the Ark? “Quit ‘raccoon-ing’ the place!”
  78. Why did Noah bring skunks on the Ark? He liked “aromatic” candles!
  79. What did Noah say to the two geese on the Ark? “Quit ‘honking’ around!”
  80. Why did Noah bring turtles on the Ark? He liked “shell” art!
  81. What did Noah say to the two hedgehogs on the Ark? “Quit ‘prickling’ around!”
  82. Why did Noah bring ostriches on the Ark? He liked “fast” food!
  83. What did Noah say to the two ducks on the Ark? “Quit ‘quacking’ around!”
  84. Why did Noah bring penguins on the Ark? He liked “cool” friends!
  85. What did Noah say to the two crows on the Ark? “Quit ‘caw-ing’ around!”
  86. Why did Noah bring porcupines on the Ark? He liked “puncture” proof tires!
  87. What did Noah say to the two lizards on the Ark? “Quit ‘lazing’ around!”
  88. Why did Noah bring buffalos on the Ark? He liked “wild” ideas!
  89. What did Noah say to the two zebras on the Ark? “Quit ‘striping’ around!”
  90. Why did Noah bring flamingos on the Ark? He liked “stand-up” comedy!
  91. What did Noah say to the two hyenas on the Ark? “Quit ‘laughing’ around!”
  92. Why did Noah bring octopuses on the Ark? He liked “hands-on” projects!
  93. What did Noah say to the two camels on the Ark? “Quit ‘humping’ around!”
  94. Why did Noah bring rhinos on the Ark? He liked “pointed” discussions!
  95. What did Noah say to the two eagles on the Ark? “Quit ‘soaring’ around!”
  96. Why did Noah bring snakes on the Ark? He liked “slippery” puzzles!
  97. What did Noah say to the two foxes on the Ark? “Quit ‘sneaking’ around!”
  98. Why did Noah bring leopards on the Ark? He liked “spotted” fashion!
  99. What did Noah say to the two dolphins on the Ark? “Quit ‘flipping’ around!”
  100. Why did Noah bring tigers on the Ark? He liked “striped” wallpaper!
  101. What did Noah say to the two sloths on the Ark? “Quit ‘sloth-ing’ around!”

Conclusion

The story of Noah’s Ark has captivated people’s imaginations for centuries, and its enduring appeal extends to the realm of humor and puns. These light-hearted jokes infuse the ancient tale with a fresh and comical perspective, showcasing the creativity of humorists who have found clever ways to play with the characters, animals, and events from the flood narrative. The jokes featuring Noah’s problem-solving skills, the Ark’s animal inhabitants, and puns about various animals are sure to bring smiles and laughter to anyone familiar with the story.

Despite their humorous nature, these jokes also highlight the enduring legacy of the Noah’s Ark story, reminding us of its significance as a symbol of hope, preservation, and renewal. By blending humor with this timeless tale, these jokes continue to entertain and connect generations, keeping the spirit of Noah and his Ark alive in a fun and memorable way. So the next time you hear one of these Noah jokes, take a moment to appreciate the playfulness and creativity they bring to this timeless story, bridging the gap between ancient history and modern humor.

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