150 mechanic jokes
- Why did the mechanic go to art school? Because he wanted to learn the finer points of sketching brake.
- Why don’t cars ever get lost? Because they always follow the engine-NAV system!
- Why did the mechanic sleep under the car? He wanted to get up oily in the morning!
- How do you know your mechanic is a musician? He always finds the car’s keys.
- What do you call a mechanic who only works on electric cars? A spark plug!
- Why was the mechanic sad? Because he had a wrenching heart.
- Why did the mechanic go broke? Because he couldn’t “gear” his spending habits!
- What’s a car mechanic’s favorite type of math? Auto-math-ic!
- Why did the mechanic go to therapy? He couldn’t handle the pressure in his tires!
- Why was the mechanic always calm? He always knew how to relieve stress…and pressure valves.
- Why did the mechanic get locked out of his shop? He lost his “master” keys.
- Why did the car blush? Because it saw the mechanic changing its oil!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite type of pasta? Car-bonara!
- Why are mechanics always prepared for winter? They have plenty of anti-“freeze”.
- What did the mechanic say to his sweetheart? You auto-be mine!
- Why was the mechanic an excellent soccer player? He was good at clutch performances!
- Why did the car apply to the job? It wanted to quit being a gas-guzzler.
- Why did the mechanic always bring lunch to work? He didn’t like fast food…or fast cars!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite vegetable? A carb-age!
- Why was the mechanic a great philosopher? He could always “engine-er” deep thoughts!
- What is a mechanic’s favorite type of cookie? Chocolate “chip-tuning”!
- How do you know your mechanic is a wizard? He can turn a rust bucket into a race car.
- Why did the car go to the gym? It wanted to get a jump-start on its fitness!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite drink? Brake fluid– it really gets them “revved” up!
- Why don’t mechanics play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your engine’s running!
- How did the mechanic propose to his girlfriend? He said: “Will you be my spark plug forever?”
- What do you call a scary mechanic? A terror-key-no.
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite time of day? Torque o’clock.
- Why did the mechanic go on a diet? He wanted to reduce his “waist” belt!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite piece of clothing? Denim carb-overalls!
- Why don’t mechanics ever get bored at work? They always have some nuts to crack.
- Why did the mechanic get an award? For outstanding service… and brake performance!
- What does a mechanic do on a roller coaster? He enjoys the suspension.
- Why did the mechanic bring his cat to work? He wanted a car-purr-ator!
- Why are mechanics great magicians? They can make your car troubles disappear!
- Why did the mechanic join the circus? He was great at juggling tasks and car parts.
- What do you call a happy car? A gas-tronomer!
- What do you call a shy mechanic? A carbure-timid.
- Why was the car always tired? It couldn’t stop “exhausting” itself!
- What do you call a well-dressed mechanic? A tie-rod!
- Why did the mechanic go to the party? To have a brake from work!
- How did the mechanic comfort his friend? He said: “Everything will be wheel soon.”
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite movie? Lord of the Ring-gears!
- What did the mechanic say to the car that wouldn’t start? Quit stalling!
- Why don’t mechanics go to zoos? Because they see enough cheetahs at work!
- Why did the mechanic bring a map to work? He needed to check the route-ine maintenance!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite song? ‘Greased Lightning’.
- How does a mechanic stay organized? By keeping all his gears in check!
- Why did the mechanic go to the concert? He heard there would be heavy metal!
- Why did the tire go to heaven? It lived a good, inflated life!
- What did the mechanic say to the car with a flat tire? You look a bit deflated!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite element? Iron… for all those nuts and bolts.
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite game? Wheel of Fortune!
- Why did the mechanic always carry a notepad? He had to jot down his brake-thoughts!
- What do you call a cool mechanic? A fan belt!
- What do you call a mechanic who can play the guitar? A tune-up artist!
- What do you call a mechanic who works on boats? A sink doctor!
- Why did the mechanic bring a pencil to work? Because he always wanted to draw-brakes!
- Why don’t mechanics ever get cold? They always have plenty of layers… of oil!
- Why did the car go to the dentist? It needed a filling… in its tank!
- Why did the mechanic go to culinary school? He wanted to perfect his ‘brakefast’ recipe!
- What is a mechanic’s favorite chess piece? The rook… for all those castle nuts.
- Why did the mechanic become a gardener? He had a knack for rooting out problems!
- Why did the mechanic break up with his girlfriend? There was too much engine-tion between them.
- Why did the mechanic go to the comedy club? He needed a good laugh…and a new timing belt!
- How did the mechanic know he was in love? He couldn’t stop his heart from racing!
- What do you call a mechanic who only works on Volkswagen Beetles? A bug fixer!
- What do you call a French mechanic? A car-laisse!
- What did the car say to the mechanic after a tune-up? You make my heart vroom!
- What do you call a mechanic who can sing? Auto-Tune!
- Why was the mechanic good at fishing? He always had the right hooks and sinkers.
- Why don’t mechanics ever win at poker? They always try to fix the deal!
- Why did the mechanic become a priest? He was great at lifting spirits… and cars!
- What is a mechanic’s favorite music genre? Heavy Metal… and the occasional brakebeat!
- What do you call a mechanic with a bad diet? A junkyard dog!
- Why was the mechanic good at basketball? He was always in gear.
- Why was the clutch always depressed? It kept feeling pressured.
- Why did the car go to the bar? It needed a ‘brake’.
- Why did the mechanic go to the opera? Heheard it was a “cylinder-ella” story.
- What do you call a mechanic who only works on Fords? A Fix-or-Repair-Daily specialist!
- Why did the mechanic never fight back? He didn’t want to start an engine-war.
- Why did the mechanic take up photography? He loved capturing ‘still’ life of cars.
- Why don’t mechanics need office space? Because they prefer working on-site.
- What do you call a super fast mechanic? A speed wrench!
- Why did the mechanic get a ticket at the orchestra? He was caught ‘tuning’ during the performance!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite part of a joke? The “punch” line!
- Why did the mechanic start a bakery? He was great at ‘rolling’ dough!
- What do you call a mechanic in the winter? A ‘chill’ changer.
- Why did the mechanic go to the farm? To fix the ‘cattle-ac’!
- How do mechanics spice up their lunch? With ‘transmission’ soup!
- Why don’t mechanics ever play chess? Because they’re always missing a ‘knight’.
- What did the mechanic say to the leaky faucet? You’re ‘dripping’ me crazy!
- Why did the mechanic become a spy? He was great at ‘brake-king’ codes!
- Why did the car go to the spa? It needed a good ‘brake’.
- Why was the mechanic never lonely? He had a ‘gang’ of wrenches!
- Why did the mechanic become a firefighter? He was great at putting out ‘engine’ fires!
- What do you call a strong mechanic? A ‘torque’ Hercules!
- Why did the mechanic open a lemonade stand? To ‘squeeze’ out more profits!
- Why did the car go to the gym? It was ‘tired’ of feeling inflated!
- What do you call a mechanic who works on electric cars? A ‘current’ specialist!
- Why did the mechanic become a hairdresser? He was good at ‘trimming’ ends!
- What do you call a brave mechanic? A ‘courage’ gear!
- Why was the car embarrassed? It ‘gas’ped in front of everyone!
- Why did the mechanic go to school? He wanted to improve his ‘transmission’ skills!
- Why did the mechanic love Halloween? Because it was ‘auto’matically spooky!
- Why did the mechanic become a stand-up comedian? His jokes always ‘cracked’ everyone up!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite season? ‘Spring’ – it’s when all the cars come out of hibernation!
- Why did the mechanic go to space? He wanted to fix the ‘rocket’ engine!
- Why did the mechanic bring a ladder to work? He wanted to reach ‘new heights’!
- What do you call a grumpy mechanic? A ‘crankshaft’!
- What did the mechanic say to the coffee machine? ‘Brew’ me a strong one, I need to ‘gear’ up!
- Why did the mechanic become a sailor? He was a master of ‘knots’ and bolts!
- Why did the car go to school? It wanted to ‘accelerate’ its knowledge!
- Why don’t mechanics need radios? They can just ‘tune’ into the car’s noises!
- Why did the mechanic become a DJ? He was great at ‘turning’ tables and wrenches!
- What do you call a sleep-deprived mechanic? A ‘dream’ spark plug!
- Why did the mechanic bring a fan to work? He wanted to ‘blow off’ some steam!
- Why did the mechanic go to the desert? He heard there was a ‘sandy’ car event!
- Why was the car a good listener? It always had an ‘ear’ to the ground!
- Why did the mechanic go to the beach? He wanted to ‘wave’ goodbye to his problems!
- Why did the mechanic become an actor? He was good at ‘driving’ emotions!
- Why did the car go to the grocery store? It needed some ‘fuel’ for the week!
- What do you call a singing mechanic? A ‘baritone’ balancer!
- Why did the car go to the therapist? It felt ‘wheely’ sad!
- Why did the mechanic become a miner? He was good at ‘drilling’ problems!
- Why was the car always relaxed? It had a ‘cruise’ control!
- Why did the mechanic go to the forest? He heard there was ‘tree’mendous work!
- Why was the mechanic a good politician? He knew how to ‘fix’ problems!
- What do you call a romantic mechanic? A ‘charming’ piston!
- Why did the car refuse to move? It was in ‘neutral’ mood!
- What do you call a mechanic who works on trains? A ‘track’ specialist!
- Why did the mechanic start a band? He loved ‘jamming’ gears and notes!
- What’s a mechanic’s favorite flower? A ‘sun-gear’!
- Why did the mechanic go to the mountain? He wanted to ‘peak’ at the view!
- What do you call a mechanic who works on planes? A ‘flight’ mechanic!
- Why was the car always in a hurry? It wanted to ‘beat’ the traffic!
- Why did the mechanic become a gardener? He loved ‘planting’ gears!
- What do you call a really old mechanic? A ‘classic’ fixer!
- Why did the mechanic bring a stopwatch to work? He wanted to ‘time’ his efficiency!
- What do you call a female mechanic? A ‘she’-shift!
- Why was the car always clean? It had a ‘polished’ personality!
- Why did the mechanic love Christmas? Because it was the ‘season’ of giving and receiving tools!
- Why did the car join the gym? It was tired of being ‘stationary’!
- Why did the mechanic go to the casino? He was feeling ‘lucky’ with the slots and bolts!
- What do you call a funny mechanic? A ‘spark plug’ of humor!
- Why did the mechanic go to the circus? He wanted to see the ‘jugglers’ and juggernauts!
- Why did the mechanic bring a flashlight to work? He didn’t want to ‘miss’ any details!
- Why did the mechanic become a tailor? He was good at ‘threading’ needles and bolts!
- What do you call a magic mechanic? A ‘hocus focus’ Ford fixer!
- Why did the mechanic bring a telescope to work? He wanted to ‘see’ beyond the problems!