146 jungle jokes

  1. Why don’t jungle animals take tests?
    • Because there are too many cheetahs!
  2. Why don’t elephants use computers?
    • They’re afraid of the mouse!
  3. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
    • He wanted a well-balanced meal!
  4. Why did the lion lose at poker?
    • Because he was playing with a cheetah!
  5. What do you call a crocodile in a vest?
    • An investigator!
  6. Why don’t monkeys play cards in the wild?
    • Because there are too many cheetahs!
  7. What do you call a gorilla with bananas in his ears?
    • Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
  8. Why don’t animals play hide and seek in the jungle?
    • Because the tiger always spots them!
  9. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
    • Because it makes them viperactive!
  10. How do monkeys get down the stairs?
    • They slide down the banana-ster!
  11. What do you call an alligator in a GPS?
    • A navigator!
  12. How does a lion like his steak?
    • Roar!
  13. Why are jungle cats bad storytellers?
    • They always pounce to the end!
  14. Why don’t elephants use elevators?
    • They prefer taking the trunk route!
  15. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
    • Because they have big fingers!
  16. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police?
    • The purrpetrator!
  17. Why don’t ocelots talk to each other at parties?
    • They’re too shy and want to leopard alone!
  18. Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
    • So they can hide in cherry trees!
  19. What is the fastest vegetable in the jungle?
    • A runner bean!
  20. Why don’t animals in the jungle play games with the lion?
    • They know he’s the king of cheats!
  21. Why are tigers religious?
    • Because they prey frequently!
  22. How do monkeys make toast?
    • They put it under a gorilla!
  23. What’s a jungle cat’s favorite song?
    • “Can’t Stop the Feline”!
  24. Why did the elephant leave the jungle?
    • He wanted to join the “trunk” road!
  25. Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
    • He didn’t want to be spotted!
  26. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
    • Snap!
  27. How does a gorilla propose to his girlfriend?
    • He gives her a nice “ape-ricot”!
  28. What do jungle cats eat for breakfast?
    • Mice Krispies!
  29. Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
    • He wanted to be a “polly” unsaturated!
  30. What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?
    • A chipmunk!
  31. Why did the tree get lost in the jungle?
    • Because it took the wrong root!
  32. What do you call a baby monkey?
    • A chimp off the old block!
  33. Why did the tiger sit in the corner?
    • He wanted some “me” time!
  34. Why don’t jungle animals ever get lost?
    • Because the elephant always remembers the way!
  35. How do jungle cats catch their prey?
    • They “pounce” on the opportunity!
  36. What is a lion’s favorite state?
    • Maine!
  37. What do you call a snake who works for the government?
    • A civil serpent!
  38. What do monkeys do for laughs?
    • They tell ape-alling jokes!
  39. Why did the ape start his own business?
    • He was tired of working for “peanuts”!
  40. What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
    • A baboom!
  41. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a shark?
    • A bird that talks your ear off before it eats you!
  42. How does a lion greet other animals?
    • ‘Pleased to eat you!’
  43. Why did the jaguar become an actor?
    • Because it had the “purrfect” face for Hollywood!
  44. Why was the baby ant confused?
    • All his uncles were ants!
  45. What’s a jungle cat’s favorite exercise?
    • “Purr-lates”!
  46. Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the jungle?
    • He wanted to pack his trunk!
  47. How do elephants communicate over long distances?
    • On the ele-phone!
  48. Why do monkeys love bananas?
    • Because they find them apeeling!
  49. How do you apologize to a gorilla?
    • With bananas and a sincere ‘Sorry for monkeying around!’
  50. What is the most musical part of a snake?
    • The scales!
  51. Why are leopards so bad at playing hide and seek?
    • Because they’re always spotted!
  52. Why did the sloth get a job at the zoo?
    • Because he wanted to work with slow moving stocks!
  53. Why do birds in the jungle never get lost?
    • They use “tweet” navigation!
  54. Why did the python refuse to play cards?
    • It was worried about swallowing the deck!
  55. What’s a lion’s favorite type of music?
    • Jungle!
  56. How do you catch a squirrel in the jungle?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  57. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
    • So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate!
  58. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    • A gummy bear!
  59. How does a penguin build its house in the jungle?
    • Igloos it together!
  60. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?
    • Big holes all over the jungle!
  61. What do you call a snake that tells jokes?
    • A funny adder!
  62. What’s a tiger’s favorite subject in school?
    • Clawculus!
  63. What do you call a fast jungle cat?
    • A ‘cheet-ah’!
  64. Why don’t elephants use smartphones?
    • They already have their own ‘trunk’ line!
  65. What is a jaguar’s favorite day of the week?
    • Purrs-day!
  66. Why did the monkey get a time-out?
    • Because he wouldn’t stop monkeying around!
  67. Why do lions always eat raw meat?
    • Because they don’t know how to cook!
  68. Why did the sloth cross the road?
    • To prove to the possum that it could be done!
  69. What is a rhino’s favorite book?
    • The Charge of the Light Brigade!
  70. Why don’t snakes ever win at poker?
    • Because you can’t read their poker faces!
  71. What do you call a chameleon that can’t change its colors?
    • A reptile dysfunction!
  72. How do you know elephants love to travel?
    • They always pack their own trunk!
  73. Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
    • So he wouldn’t be spotted!
  74. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
    • Hisstory!
  75. Why don’t tigers eat clowns?
    • They taste funny!
  76. What do you call a donkey with a PhD in the jungle?
    • A smart “ass”!
  77. What’s a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
    • Necktarines!
  78. Why did the zebra go to school?
    • He wanted to improve his stripes!
  79. Why are alligators always angry?
    • They have all the “teeth” but can’t brush them!
  80. Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
    • Because it’s easier than walking!
  81. What did the lion say to his pride before they went hunting?
    • Let’s get this “mane” course!
  82. Why do orangutans make terrible secret agents?
    • They always “ape” the enemy!
  83. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
    • A jump rope!
  84. What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the door?
    • It won’t be long now!
  85. Why don’t jungle animals play cricket?
    • Because of the cheetahs!
  86. What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?
    • An “aunt-eater”!
  87. Why did the snake stand on the toaster?
    • He wanted to become a “pop” star!
  88. Why don’t monkeys play with watches?
    • They’re already experts in “ape”-time!
  89. Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
    • So he could hide in the crayon box!
  90. How do you catch a squirrel for your pet?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  91. Why don’t spiders go to school?
    • Because they learn everything on the web!
  92. What do you call a leopard with a carrot in each ear?
    • Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
  93. How does a penguin make pancakes in the jungle?
    • With its flippers!
  94. What is the leopard’s favorite fast food?
    • “Fast ant” food!
  95. Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the jungle?
    • He wanted to pack his trunk!
  96. Why are elephants so wrinkled?
    • Have you ever tried ironing one?
  97. What do you call a reptile that sings?
    • A rap-tile!
  98. Why did the monkey like the banana?
    • Because it had appeal!
  99. Why do lions eat raw meat?
    • Because they don’t know how to barbecue!
  100. How does a gorilla invite another for dinner?
    • Wanna grab some ape-etizers?
  101. Why did the monkey go to the doctor?
    • Because he had a banana deficiency!
  102. Why did the giraffe refuse to play hide and seek?
    • Because he knew he’d stick his neck out!
  103. What is a snake’s favorite dance?
    • The Mamba!
  104. Why did the elephant bring his luggage to the jungle?
    • He wanted to pack his trunk!
  105. Why don’t monkeys use pocket maps?
    • They have GPS (Gorilla Positioning System)!
  106. Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
    • He wanted to be a “polly” unsaturated!
  107. What do you call a fast jungle cat?
    • A “cheet-ah”!
  108. Why don’t elephants use computers?
    • They’re afraid of the mouse!
  109. What do monkeys use to make hot chocolate?
    • Chimpan-zest!
  110. Why do snakes never start a fight?
    • Because they don’t have a leg to stand on!
  111. What do you call a show full of lions?
    • The mane event!
  112. Why do giraffes have long necks?
    • Because their feet smell!
  113. How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
    • Your nose is touching the ceiling!
  114. What do you call a baby monkey?
    • A chimp off the old block!
  115. Why was the elephant the last animal to leave Noah’s ark?
    • He had to pack his trunk!
  116. Why did the rhino go to the party alone?
    • He didn’t want to horn in on anyone!
  117. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
    • Take away its credit card!
  118. Why do tigers eat raw meat?
    • Because they can’t cook!
  119. What’s an alligator in a vest called?
    • An investigator!
  120. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
    • Snap!
  121. How do we know that elephants are good readers?
    • They’re always getting their trunks into books!
  122. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
    • A bird that talks your ear off before it eats you!
  123. How do you apologize to a gorilla?
    • With bananas and a sincere ‘Sorry for monkeying around!’
  124. What’s a snake’s favorite school subject?
    • Hisstory!
  125. Why don’t tigers like fast food?
    • Because they can’t catch it!
  126. Why did the leopard eat the tightrope walker?
    • He wanted to try a well-balanced diet!
  127. Why do monkeys love school?
    • Because they get to go bananas over knowledge!
  128. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
    • So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate!
  129. Why are elephants bad dancers?
    • They have two left feet!
  130. What do you call an alligator that gives you directions?
    • A navigator!
  131. What’s a cheetah’s favorite food?
    • Fast food!
  132. Why don’t leopards like playing hide and seek?
    • Because they’re always spotted!
  133. What’s a tiger’s favorite time of day?
    • Dinner time!
  134. Why did the jungle cat sit in the tree?
    • He wanted to be a branch manager!
  135. How do you catch a monkey?
    • Climb a tree and act like a banana!
  136. Why do birds in the jungle never get lost?
    • They use tweet navigation!
  137. How does a lion like his steak?
    • Roar!
  138. What’s a cheetah’s favorite game?
    • Tag, because they’re always it!
  139. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
    • A “pouch potato”!
  140. What is a snake’s favorite subject?
    • Hiss-tory!
  141. Why don’t elephants use public transportation?
    • They prefer taking the “trunk” route!
  142. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
    • Because it makes them viperactive!
  143. Why are trees in the jungle so noisy?
    • Because they have so many monkeys!
  144. Why are the elephants always ready for war?
    • They always carry their trunks!
  145. Why do lions always eat raw meat?
    • Because they hate cooking!
  146. Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
    • Because of all the cheetahs!

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