146 jungle jokes

  1. Why don’t jungle animals take tests?
    • Because there are too many cheetahs!
  2. Why don’t elephants use computers?
    • They’re afraid of the mouse!
  3. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?
    • He wanted a well-balanced meal!
  4. Why did the lion lose at poker?
    • Because he was playing with a cheetah!
  5. What do you call a crocodile in a vest?
    • An investigator!
  6. Why don’t monkeys play cards in the wild?
    • Because there are too many cheetahs!
  7. What do you call a gorilla with bananas in his ears?
    • Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
  8. Why don’t animals play hide and seek in the jungle?
    • Because the tiger always spots them!
  9. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
    • Because it makes them viperactive!
  10. How do monkeys get down the stairs?
    • They slide down the banana-ster!
  11. What do you call an alligator in a GPS?
    • A navigator!
  12. How does a lion like his steak?
    • Roar!
  13. Why are jungle cats bad storytellers?
    • They always pounce to the end!
  14. Why don’t elephants use elevators?
    • They prefer taking the trunk route!
  15. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
  16. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police?
    • The purrpetrator!
  17. Why don’t ocelots talk to each other at parties?
    • They’re too shy and want to leopard alone!
  18. Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
  19. What is the fastest vegetable in the jungle?
  20. Why don’t animals in the jungle play games with the lion?
  21. Why are tigers religious?
    • Because they prey frequently!
  22. How do monkeys make toast?
    • They put it under a gorilla!
  23. What’s a jungle cat’s favorite song?
    • “Can’t Stop the Feline”!
  24. Why did the elephant leave the jungle?
    • He wanted to join the “trunk” road!
  25. Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
    • He didn’t want to be spotted!
  26. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
    • Snap!
  27. How does a gorilla propose to his girlfriend?
    • He gives her a nice “ape-ricot”!
  28. What do jungle cats eat for breakfast?
    • Mice Krispies!
  29. Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
    • He wanted to be a “polly” unsaturated!
  30. What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?
    • A chipmunk!
  31. Why did the tree get lost in the jungle?
    • Because it took the wrong root!
  32. What do you call a baby monkey?
    • A chimp off the old block!
  33. Why did the tiger sit in the corner?
    • He wanted some “me” time!
  34. Why don’t jungle animals ever get lost?
    • Because the elephant always remembers the way!
  35. How do jungle cats catch their prey?
    • They “pounce” on the opportunity!
  36. What is a lion’s favorite state?
    • Maine!
  37. What do you call a snake who works for the government?
    • A civil serpent!
  38. What do monkeys do for laughs?
    • They tell ape-alling jokes!
  39. Why did the ape start his own business?
    • He was tired of working for “peanuts”!
  40. What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
    • A baboom!
  41. What do you get if you cross a parrot and a shark?
    • A bird that talks your ear off before it eats you!
  42. How does a lion greet other animals?
    • ‘Pleased to eat you!’
  43. Why did the jaguar become an actor?
    • Because it had the “purrfect” face for Hollywood!
  44. Why was the baby ant confused?
    • All his uncles were ants!
  45. What’s a jungle cat’s favorite exercise?
    • “Purr-lates”!
  46. Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the jungle?
    • He wanted to pack his trunk!
  47. How do elephants communicate over long distances?
    • On the ele-phone!
  48. Why do monkeys love bananas?
    • Because they find them apeeling!
  49. How do you apologize to a gorilla?
    • With bananas and a sincere ‘Sorry for monkeying around!’
  50. What is the most musical part of a snake?
    • The scales!
  51. Why are leopards so bad at playing hide and seek?
    • Because they’re always spotted!
  52. Why did the sloth get a job at the zoo?
  53. Why do birds in the jungle never get lost?
    • They use “tweet” navigation!
  54. Why did the python refuse to play cards?
    • It was worried about swallowing the deck!
  55. What’s a lion’s favorite type of music?
    • Jungle!
  56. How do you catch a squirrel in the jungle?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  57. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
    • So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate!
  58. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
  59. How does a penguin build its house in the jungle?
    • Igloos it together!
  60. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?
    • Big holes all over the jungle!
  61. What do you call a snake that tells jokes?
    • A funny adder!
  62. What’s a tiger’s favorite subject in school?
    • Clawculus!
  63. What do you call a fast jungle cat?
    • A ‘cheet-ah’!
  64. Why don’t elephants use smartphones?
    • They already have their own ‘trunk’ line!
  65. What is a jaguar’s favorite day of the week?
    • Purrs-day!
  66. Why did the monkey get a time-out?
    • Because he wouldn’t stop monkeying around!
  67. Why do lions always eat raw meat?
    • Because they don’t know how to cook!
  68. Why did the sloth cross the road?
    • To prove to the possum that it could be done!
  69. What is a rhino’s favorite book?
    • The Charge of the Light Brigade!
  70. Why don’t snakes ever win at poker?
    • Because you can’t read their poker faces!
  71. What do you call a chameleon that can’t change its colors?
  72. How do you know elephants love to travel?
    • They always pack their own trunk!
  73. Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
    • So he wouldn’t be spotted!
  74. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
    • Hisstory!
  75. Why don’t tigers eat clowns?
    • They taste funny!
  76. What do you call a donkey with a PhD in the jungle?
    • A smart “ass”!
  77. What’s a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
    • Necktarines!
  78. Why did the zebra go to school?
    • He wanted to improve his stripes!
  79. Why are alligators always angry?
    • They have all the “teeth” but can’t brush them!
  80. Why do birds fly to warmer climates in the winter?
    • Because it’s easier than walking!
  81. What did the lion say to his pride before they went hunting?
    • Let’s get this “mane” course!
  82. Why do orangutans make terrible secret agents?
    • They always “ape” the enemy!
  83. What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a snake?
    • A jump rope!
  84. What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the door?
    • It won’t be long now!
  85. Why don’t jungle animals play cricket?
    • Because of the cheetahs!
  86. What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?
    • An “aunt-eater”!
  87. Why did the snake stand on the toaster?
    • He wanted to become a “pop” star!
  88. Why don’t monkeys play with watches?
    • They’re already experts in “ape”-time!
  89. Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
    • So he could hide in the crayon box!
  90. How do you catch a squirrel for your pet?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  91. Why don’t spiders go to school?
    • Because they learn everything on the web!
  92. What do you call a leopard with a carrot in each ear?
    • Anything you want, he can’t hear you!
  93. How does a penguin make pancakes in the jungle?
    • With its flippers!
  94. What is the leopard’s favorite fast food?
    • “Fast ant” food!
  95. Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the jungle?
    • He wanted to pack his trunk!
  96. Why are elephants so wrinkled?
    • Have you ever tried ironing one?
  97. What do you call a reptile that sings?
    • A rap-tile!
  98. Why did the monkey like the banana?
    • Because it had appeal!
  99. Why do lions eat raw meat?
    • Because they don’t know how to barbecue!
  100. How does a gorilla invite another for dinner?
    • Wanna grab some ape-etizers?
  101. Why did the monkey go to the doctor?
    • Because he had a banana deficiency!
  102. Why did the giraffe refuse to play hide and seek?
  103. What is a snake’s favorite dance?
    • The Mamba!
  104. Why did the elephant bring his luggage to the jungle?
    • He wanted to pack his trunk!
  105. Why don’t monkeys use pocket maps?
    • They have GPS (Gorilla Positioning System)!
  106. Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
    • He wanted to be a “polly” unsaturated!
  107. What do you call a fast jungle cat?
    • A “cheet-ah”!
  108. Why don’t elephants use computers?
    • They’re afraid of the mouse!
  109. What do monkeys use to make hot chocolate?
    • Chimpan-zest!
  110. Why do snakes never start a fight?
    • Because they don’t have a leg to stand on!
  111. What do you call a show full of lions?
    • The mane event!
  112. Why do giraffes have long necks?
    • Because their feet smell!
  113. How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
    • Your nose is touching the ceiling!
  114. What do you call a baby monkey?
    • A chimp off the old block!
  115. Why was the elephant the last animal to leave Noah’s ark?
    • He had to pack his trunk!
  116. Why did the rhino go to the party alone?
    • He didn’t want to horn in on anyone!
  117. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
    • Take away its credit card!
  118. Why do tigers eat raw meat?
    • Because they can’t cook!
  119. What’s an alligator in a vest called?
    • An investigator!
  120. What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
    • Snap!
  121. How do we know that elephants are good readers?
    • They’re always getting their trunks into books!
  122. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
    • A bird that talks your ear off before it eats you!
  123. How do you apologize to a gorilla?
    • With bananas and a sincere ‘Sorry for monkeying around!’
  124. What’s a snake’s favorite school subject?
    • Hisstory!
  125. Why don’t tigers like fast food?
    • Because they can’t catch it!
  126. Why did the leopard eat the tightrope walker?
    • He wanted to try a well-balanced diet!
  127. Why do monkeys love school?
    • Because they get to go bananas over knowledge!
  128. Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
    • So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate!
  129. Why are elephants bad dancers?
    • They have two left feet!
  130. What do you call an alligator that gives you directions?
    • A navigator!
  131. What’s a cheetah’s favorite food?
    • Fast food!
  132. Why don’t leopards like playing hide and seek?
    • Because they’re always spotted!
  133. What’s a tiger’s favorite time of day?
    • Dinner time!
  134. Why did the jungle cat sit in the tree?
    • He wanted to be a branch manager!
  135. How do you catch a monkey?
    • Climb a tree and act like a banana!
  136. Why do birds in the jungle never get lost?
    • They use tweet navigation!
  137. How does a lion like his steak?
    • Roar!
  138. What’s a cheetah’s favorite game?
    • Tag, because they’re always it!
  139. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
    • A “pouch potato”!
  140. What is a snake’s favorite subject?
    • Hiss-tory!
  141. Why don’t elephants use public transportation?
    • They prefer taking the “trunk” route!
  142. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
    • Because it makes them viperactive!
  143. Why are trees in the jungle so noisy?
    • Because they have so many monkeys!
  144. Why are the elephants always ready for war?
    • They always carry their trunks!
  145. Why do lions always eat raw meat?
  146. Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
    • Because of all the cheetahs!

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