101 Hamilton Jokes

Ladies and gentlemen, history has gifted us with countless iconic figures, and among them, Alexander Hamilton stands tall as one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. His contributions to shaping the nation’s destiny are legendary, but what many might not know is that behind the statesman’s serious facade lies a treasure trove of humor.

Today, we delve into the realm of historical comedy as we explore a collection of clever and witty Hamilton jokes. From puns on his political beliefs to humorous wordplay on his accomplishments, these jokes not only entertain but also offer a lighthearted glimpse into the life of this remarkable individual. So, let’s embark on this playful journey of laughter and history as we delve into the world of Hamilton humor!

Top 101 Hamilton Jokes:

1. Why did Hamilton never fix his squeaky door? Because he couldn’t find the “right to hinge”.
2. What do you call Hamilton when he’s being stubborn? An “un-stoppable force”.
3. Why did Hamilton refuse to play cards with Jefferson? Because he heard he was good at “dealing with hands”.
4. How does Hamilton take his coffee? Historically strong.
5. Why did Hamilton bring a pencil to the duel? He wanted to “draw first”.
6. What did Hamilton say to Burr after their argument? “Let’s put a pin in it”.
7. Why did Hamilton go to the bakery? To get a piece of “revolutionary pie”.
8. What is Hamilton’s favorite exercise? The “freedom press”.
9. What is Hamilton’s least favorite type of music? “Pop-ulism”.
10. What does Hamilton say when he’s leaving a party? “Federalist you later”.
11. Why was Hamilton a terrible gardener? He couldn’t stop the “weeds of corruption” from spreading.
12. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of pasta? “Fede-rigatoni”.
13. Why was Hamilton bad at hide and seek? Because he always insists on taking the “first cabinet position”.
14. Why did Hamilton bring a ladder to the debate? He heard it was a “step up”.
15. Why did Hamilton refuse to play chess with Madison? He was afraid of “losing his constitution”.
16. What’s Hamilton’s favorite dessert? “Independence Ice Cream”.
17. Why did Hamilton refuse to play poker? He didn’t want to deal with “checks and balances”.
18. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of tree? “Liberty Tree”.
19. How does Hamilton organize his documents? In the “Federalist Papers”.
20. Why did Hamilton make a terrible bartender? He couldn’t stop mixing “strong central government”.
21. Why did Hamilton start a band? He wanted to play “lead Federalist”.
22. How does Hamilton like his steak? “Well-debated”.
23. Why did Hamilton never finish his painting? He was always “drawing conclusions”.
24. What’s Hamilton’s favorite candy? “Liberty-bell gummies”.
25. Why was Hamilton always lost? He couldn’t stop following the “road to revolution”.
26. How does Hamilton cut his pizza? With “Federalist precision”.
27. Why did Hamilton get a dog? He wanted a “barking representative”.
28. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of fish? “Freedom flounder”.
29. Why did Hamilton always win at Monopoly? He was excellent at “managing public credit”.
30. Why was Hamilton a terrible musician? He always played the “wrong notes on the constitution”.
31. What’s Hamilton’s favorite dance? The “Federalist Foxtrot”.
32. Why did Hamilton refuse to play hide and seek? He hated “separations of power”.
33. What’s Hamilton’s favorite vegetable? “Independence Indigo Tomatoes”.
34. Why did Hamilton go to the gym? To work on his “constitutional rights”.
35. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of bird? The “American Eagle”.
36. Why did Hamilton get a cat? He wanted a “purring representative”.
37. What’s Hamilton’s favorite fruit? “Liberty Lemons”.
38. Why did Hamilton always lose at chess? He was too focused on “protecting the king”.
39. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of car? “Federalist Ferraris”.
40. Why did Hamilton never go camping? He didn’t want to deal with “tents and arguments”.
41. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of dog? The “Constitutional Corgi”.
42. Why did Hamilton go to the beach? He heard there was a “wave of revolution”.
43. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of cat? The “American Shorthair”.
44. Why did Hamilton bring a compass to the debate? He wanted to “find his direction in the argument”.
45. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of flower? The “Liberty Lily”.
46. Why was Hamilton a terrible baker? He kept trying to “mix the constitution”.
47. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of music? The “Federalist Funk”.
48. Why did Hamilton refuse to go fishing? He didn’t want to deal with “fishy arguments”.
49. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of bear? The “Constitutional Kodiak”.
50. Why was Hamilton a terrible chef? He kept trying to “spice up the constitution”.
51. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of book? The “American Almanac”.
52. Why did Hamilton bring a map to the debate? He wanted to “find his place in the argument”.
53. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of butterfly? The “Liberty Swallowtail”.
54. Why was Hamilton a terrible mechanic? He kept trying to “fix the constitution”.
55. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of weather? The “Federalist Fog”.
56. Why did Hamilton refuse to go hunting? He didn’t want to deal with “gamey arguments”.
57. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of insect? The “Constitutional Cicada”.
58. Why was Hamilton a terrible builder? He kept trying to “construct the constitution”.
59. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of cloud? The “American Cumulus”.
60. Why did Hamilton bring a ruler to the debate? He wanted to “measure his arguments”.
61. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of cheese? The “Liberty Limburger”.
62. Why was Hamilton a terrible sailor? He kept trying to “navigate the constitution”.
63. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of bread? The “Federalist Focaccia”.
64. Why did Hamilton refuse to go bird-watching? He didn’t want to deal with “flighty arguments”.
65. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of cake? The “Constitutional Carrot Cake”.
66. Why was Hamilton a terrible jeweler? He kept trying to “shape the constitution”.
67. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of tea? The “American Assam”.
68. Why did Hamilton bring a stopwatch to the debate? He wanted to “time his arguments”.
69. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of coffee? The “Liberty Latte”.
70. Why was Hamilton a terrible artist? He kept trying to “color the constitution”.
71. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of ice cream? The “Federalist Fudge”.
72. Why did Hamilton refuse to go star-gazing? He didn’t want to deal with “starry arguments”.
73. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of chocolate? The “Constitutional Cocoa”.
74. Why was Hamilton a terrible writer? He kept trying to “script the constitution”.
75. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of soup? The “American Alphabet”.
76. Why did Hamilton bring a dictionary to the debate? He wanted to “define his arguments”.
77. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of biscuit? The “Liberty Lemon”.
78. Why was Hamilton a terrible filmmaker? He kept trying to “shoot the constitution”.
79. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of sandwich? The “Federalist Falafel”.
80. Why did Hamilton refuse to go mountain climbing? He didn’t want to deal with “rocky arguments”.
81. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of salad? The “Constitutional Caesar”.
82. Why was Hamilton a terrible mathematician? He kept trying to “calculate the constitution”.
83. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of pizza? The “American Anchovy”.
84. Why did Hamilton bring a thesaurus to the debate? He wanted to “expand his arguments”.
85. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of pie? The “Liberty Lime”.
86. Why was Hamilton a terrible scientist? He kept trying to “experiment on the constitution”.
87. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of cocktail? The “Federalist Fizz”.
88. Why did Hamilton refuse to go surfing? He didn’t want to deal with “wavey arguments”.
89. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of wine? The “Constitutional Chardonnay”.
90. Why was Hamilton a terrible programmer? He kept trying to “code the constitution”.
91. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of beer? The “American Ale”.
92. Why did Hamilton bring a calculator to the debate? He wanted to “add up his arguments”.
93. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of whiskey? The “Liberty Liqueur”.
94. Why was Hamilton a terrible engineer? He kept trying to “engineer the constitution”.
95. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of cheeseburger? The “Federalist Fromage”.
96. Why did Hamilton refuse to go skiing? He didn’t want to deal with “slippery arguments”.
97. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of sushi? The “Constitutional California Roll”.
98. Why was Hamilton a terrible architect? He kept trying to “design the constitution”.
99. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of taco? The “American Avocado”.
100. Why did Hamilton bring a notepad to the debate? He wanted to “note down his arguments”.
101. What’s Hamilton’s favorite type of donut? The “Liberty Long John”.

Conclusion

As we conclude our delightful journey through the realm of Hamilton humor, we are reminded that even the most revered historical figures possessed a sense of humor. These witty jokes not only bring a smile to our faces but also serve as a reminder of Alexander Hamilton’s multifaceted character. Behind the brilliant statesman and intellectual, there was a man with a playful spirit and a willingness to see the humor in life.

Through the lens of humor, we gain a fresh perspective on history, making it more relatable and human. It reminds us that great individuals, like Hamilton, were not infallible icons but had their quirks and personalities. So, the next time we study the Founding Fathers and their contributions, let’s remember that behind the weighty matters of state, there was room for laughter and camaraderie, which is a valuable lesson in itself.

Let these Hamilton jokes serve as a reminder that even in the gravest of times, a little humor can brighten our spirits and bring us closer together. History need not always be solemn and distant; it can be a source of amusement and joy, thanks to the clever wit of those who choose to remember the past with a smile.