150 father’s day jokes
- Why don’t dads ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when it’s time to do yard work.
- What’s dad’s favorite type of pasta? Pop-arallelogram.
- Why did the father tomato say to the baby tomato during the race? Ketchup!
- Why was the father broom late for the meeting? He overswept.
- How do dads exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
- Why can’t fathers play chess? Because they’ve been told, “Never play games with your kids.”
- Why did the dad spider tell his children to go outside? He didn’t want them web surfing inside.
- Why did the dad go to the bakery? Because he kneaded bread.
- Why was the baseball player a great father? He always touched base.
- What do you call a dad who can play the piano? A key role model.
- What do you call a dad who can sing? Pop star.
- What’s a dad’s favorite type of music? Wrap music, as in wrapping gifts.
- Why do fathers make good detectives? Because they always have a hunch.
- Why are fathers like parking spaces? The good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
- What do you call a father who fixes toasters? A pop-up repairman.
- What’s a dad’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about the angles.
- Why don’t dads trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why did the father put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets.
- Why did the dad go to the car dealership? He heard it was a father-and-son sale.
- Why do dads love bad jokes? They just can’t resist the puns.
- Why do fathers never feel cold? Because they have little heaters running around.
- Why did the dad study on a farm? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a dad joke that falls on deaf ears? A silent dad-adin.
- Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
- Why did the dad refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? He was afraid of cheetahs.
- Why was the math book sad at the father-daughter dance? It had too many problems.
- How do fathers get their babies to sleep? They tell them their office stories.
- Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one.
- Why are fathers always early? They beat the sunrise.
- What do you call a dad who’s a baker? A doughnut know-it-all.
- Why did the father go to the casino? To play papa-chance.
- What do you call a dad who can’t stop eating frosty desserts? Popsicle.
- Why did the father go to space? He didn’t want to take things for planet.
- Why did the dad get locked in the grocery store? He was in the chow line.
- Why did the dad bring a map to the picnic? He didn’t want to lose his buns.
- Why are dads like endnotes? They provide the necessary context.
- What’s a dad’s favorite school subject? Hist-dad-ry.
- Why are dads like grills? The steaks are always high.
- Why do dads hate doing laundry? Too many dad-blamed socks.
- Why do dads like recliners? They’re easy to chair-ish.
- Why did the dad get a job at the fruit market? He wanted to bring home the bananas.
- Why do dads love lawn mowing? It’s the only time they can’t hear the kids.
- What’s a father’s favorite condiment? Dadstard.
- Why are dads like Christmas trees? The kids always hang things on them.
- Why do dads make terrible baseball coaches? They always steal home.
- Why do fathers love golf? It’s the only sport where you can’t hear the other guy’s insults.
- Why do dads like to fix things? Because it’s wrench-able.
- What’s a dad’s favorite element? Barium, because he’s always at the bar.
- Why did the father get promoted? He was ex-cep-dad-nal.
- What do you call a dad who steals your jokes? A plagiar-dad.
- Why did the dad go to the art exhibit? He was drawn to it.
- Why did the dad bring a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
- What’s a father’s favorite rap group? W-dad-P.
- Why did the dad sit on the ice? He wanted cold hard cash.
- Why did the father bring a clock to the baseball game? He heard it was timeless.
- Why was the dad the best gardener? He had the perfect flowerbed-side manner.
- What did the dad say when he got a book for Father’s Day? I’m booked!
- What do you call a dad who can’t stop reading? Page dad-dict.
- Why did the dad make friends with the coffee? Because he liked to espresso himself.
- Why are fathers like clouds? When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
- Why did the dad become a carpenter? He nailed it.
- Why are dads like lawn mowers? They’re tough to get going on Sundays.
- Why did the dad get a job at the shoe factory? He wanted to heel the world.
- Why did the dad go to music school? He had the key to success.
- Why did the dad bring a chair to the beach? He wanted a sit in the sun.
- Why did the dad bring his sunglasses to school? He wanted to be a bright student.
- Why did the dad sit on his glasses? He wanted to see his behind.
- Why did the dad bring a notebook to the party? He wanted to be the life of the paper.
- Why are dads like weather reports? Mostly predictable but occasionally surprising.
- Why did the father always carry a map? He didn’t want to be caught off guard-dad.
- What’s a dad’s favorite fruit? Papa-ya.
- Why did the dad go to therapy? He needed a psychol-dad-gist.
- What do you call a father who’s also a lawyer? Su-dad.
- Why did the dad go to the gym? He didn’t want to feel irrele-dad-vant.
- What’s a dad’s favorite type of coffee? Espress-dad-o.
- Why did the father bring a magnifying glass to the park? He wanted to take a closer look at nature.
- Why did the dad get a ticket at the park? He was litter-dad-ing.
- What do you call a dad who’s into fashion? Dapper dad.
- Why are fathers like supermarkets? They have everything you need, but you can never find it.
- Why did the dad go to the opera? Because it wasn’t over until the dad sang.
- Why did the dad get a job at the circus? He wanted to join the juggle.
- Why did the dad join the orchestra? He had a natural talent for conducting.
- Why did the dad go to the library? He was booked for the weekend.
- What do you call a dad who can cook? Chef-daddy.
- Why did the dad wear two jackets to the football game? In case he got cold.
- Why did the father keep his bills in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
- Why did the dad keep his shoes in the freezer? He wanted to have cool kicks.
- What do you call a dad who’s a musician? A guitar hero.
- Why did the dad bring a ruler to bed? He wanted to see how long he slept.
- What do you call a dad who’s good at fishing? Master baiter.
- What do you call a dad who’s an electrician? A shock absorber.
- Why did the dad become an archaeologist? Because his career was in ruins.
- Why did the father get a job at the bank? He wanted to work with interest.
- Why did the dad love road trips? He loved to hit the road.
- What do you call a dad who’s a vegetarian? A plant manager.
- Why did the dad bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
- Why did the father bring a hammer to the dinner party? He wanted to break the ice.
- What do you call a dad who’s into recycling? A waste manager.
- What’s a dad’s favorite dish? Anything he didn’t have to cook.
- Why did the dad put his radio in the refrigerator? He wanted cool music.
- Why did the dad always bring a pencil sharpener to the golf course? He wanted to make a point.
- Why did the father bring a flashlight to the comedy show? He wanted to lighten up the mood.
- What’s a dad’s favorite seasoning? Pappy-rika.
- Why did the dad buy a boat? He wanted to sea the world.
- What do you call a dad who’s a gardener? A plant father.
- Why did the dad bring his family to the concert? He heard it was a pop show.
- What do you call a dad who’s a doctor? A life saver.
- Why did the dad become a librarian? Because he wanted to book it.
- What’s a dad’s favorite drink? Pop-si.
- What do you call a dad who’s a baker? Doughboy.
- Why did the dad go to the train station? He was on the right track.
- What do you call a dad who’s an astronaut? A space invader.
- Why did the dad bring an umbrella to the gym? He wanted to work out the rain.
- Why did the dad join the band? He wanted to drum up business.
- Why did the dad become a locksmith? He found the key to success.
- Why did the dad join the police force? He wanted to cop a feel of the action.
- Why did the dad buy a metal detector? He wanted to strike gold.
- What do you call a dad who’s a chef? A grill master.
- Why did the dad become a carpenter? He found the job plane interesting.
- Why did the dad carry a calendar? His days were numbered.
- What do you call a dad who’s a painter? An artful dodger.
- Why did the dad go to the bakery? He wanted a dough-lightful day.
- Why did the dad become a runner? He wanted to be in the fast lane.
- Why did the dad become a weatherman? He wanted to rain on people’s parade.
- What do you call a dad who’s a mechanic? A gear head.
- Why did the dad buy a new hat? He wanted to cap off the day.
- Why did the dad go to the coffee shop? He needed a fresh brew.
- Why did the dad become a florist? He wanted to rose to the occasion.
- What do you call a dad who’s a firefighter? A hotshot.
- Why did the dad become a writer? He had novel ideas.
- Why did the dad go to the zoo? He wanted to monkey around.
- What do you call a dad who’s a computer programmer? A coding machine.
- Why did the dad become a baker? He kneaded the dough.
- Why did the dad go to the movie theater? He wanted to catch a reel good film.
- What do you call a dad who’s a photographer? A shot caller.
- Why did the dad go to the airport? He wanted to take off.
- Why did the dad become a pilot? He wanted to wing it.
- What do you call a dad who’s a gardener? A plant operator.
- Why did the dad buy a bike? He wanted to pedal his wares.
- Why did the dad become a teacher? He wanted to make the grade.
- What do you call a dad who’s a scientist? A lab rat.
- Why did the dad go to the amusement park? He wanted to have a roller coaster of a day.
- What do you call a dad who’s a salesman? A deal maker.
- Why did the dad become a photographer? He wanted to snap into action.
- Why did the dad become a lifeguard? He wanted to make a splash.
- What do you call a dad who’s a dancer? A twinkle toes.
- Why did the dad buy a new watch? He wanted to have a timely gift.
- Why did the dad go to the beach? He wanted to have a sand-sational day.
- What do you call a dad who’s a barber? A cut above the rest.
- Why did the dad become a comedian? He wanted to crack everyone up.