57+ english teacher jokes

  1. Why don’t English teachers go to the zoo? Because they can’t bear to see a split infinitive.
  2. Why did the English teacher go broke? Because she kept giving out too many ‘B’s.
  3. What did the noun say to the verb? “You’re so tense!”
  4. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause.
  5. Why was the English book feeling cold? It had lost all its covers.
  6. Why did the grammar teacher become an archaeologist? Because he was in love with past tenses.
  7. Why did the English teacher get arrested? She ended a sentence with a proposition.
  8. Why did the run-on sentence refuse to get in shape? It wouldn’t stop for any periods!
  9. Why was the English teacher cross-eyed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
  10. Why did the English teacher carry a ladder? To reach the top of the grammar tree.
  11. What does an English teacher do at a baseball game? Ask the batter to explain their run-on home.
  12. Why do English teachers always seem stressed? They have too many sentences to complete.
  13. Why didn’t the sun study English? It was too bright already.
  14. Why are English teachers good at gardening? Because they know their roots.
  15. Why did the English teacher visit the bakery? Because she kneaded all the rolls.
  16. Why did the English teacher bring a map to class? To explain where to put a colon.
  17. Why couldn’t the string attend the English class? It couldn’t tie up its loose ends.
  18. Why did the English teacher go to therapy? She had too many unresolved issues.
  19. Why don’t English teachers play hide and seek? They always get caught behind clauses.
  20. Why did the English teacher go to jail? Because he broke a paragraph.
  21. What’s an English teacher’s favorite exercise? Synonym rolls.
  22. Why did the English teacher always carry a pencil behind his ear? In case he came across a sketchy sentence.
  23. Why couldn’t the English teacher play poker? She always showed her clauses.
  24. What does an English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
  25. Why do English teachers never get lost? Because they always follow the paragraph structure.
  26. Why do English teachers make terrible lawyers? They’re always objecting to sentences.
  27. What advice did the English teacher give to the sugary drink? “Just chill, but never freeze.”
  28. Why did the English teacher join the circus? He was looking for a juggling clause.
  29. What is an English teacher’s favorite clothing brand? Verses.
  30. Why did the English teacher break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t appreciate his puns.
  31. Why couldn’t the English teacher see the movie? It was rated ‘R’ for run-on sentences.
  32. Why do English teachers make bad detectives? They keep reading between the lines.
  33. Why did the English teacher get a ticket? She was caught speeding up her sentences.
  34. Why was the English teacher upset with her GPS? It kept telling her to take the wrong route.
  35. Why did the English teacher go to the beach? To surf the sentences.
  36. What is an English teacher’s favorite coffee? A synonym roast.
  37. Why did the English teacher write on the window? She wanted to make the sentences clear.
  38. What do you call an English teacher on a boat? A sea-noun.
  39. Why do English teachers make terrible secret agents? They can’t keep their sentences to themselves.
  40. Why was the English teacher always tired? Because she was always correcting her sleep cycles.
  41. Why did the English teacher become a chef? She knew how to whisk the words.
  42. Why couldn’t the English teacher play chess? She kept trying to check the king’s grammar.
  43. Why did the English teacher always carry a red pen? To mark the end of her sentences.
  44. What did the English teacher say to the student who failed their grammar test? “You have a lot of tense issues.”
  45. Why do English teachers make terrible judges? They always want to revise the sentences.
  46. Why was the English teacher good at yoga? She was always bending and stretching sentences.
  47. Why do English teachers always carry an umbrella? They need to shield themselves from the rain of errors.
  48. Why did the English teacher visit the dairy farm? She wanted to teach the calves about homophones.
  49. Why did the English teacher get stuck in the novel? She lost track of the plot.
  50. Why do English teachers hate playing football? They keep getting penalized for pass interference.
  51. Why did the English teacher go to the opera? To correct the libretto’s grammar.
  52. Why was the English teacher good at boxing? She knew where to place the punctuation.
  53. Why do English teachers like to garden? They get to plant punctuation marks.
  54. Why did the English teacher sit on her dictionary? She wanted to get to the root of the words.
  55. Why do English teachers make good carpenters? They’re experts at framing sentences.
  56. What did the English teacher say at the fortune teller’s? “I see a future perfect tense!”
  57. Why did the English teacher go fishing? He was hunting for a good hook for his essay.
  58. Why was the English teacher a bad driver? She kept veering off the subject.
  59. Why do English teachers never play monopoly? They’re always passing Go and not collecting $200.
  60. Why do English teachers make good magicians? They know how to pull phrases out of thin air.
  61. Why was the English teacher good at tennis? She served up great sentences.
  62. Why do English teachers make great cooks? They know the recipe for a well-structured paragraph.
  63. Why did the English teacher go to the dance? She had the perfect iambic pentameter.
  64. Why don’t English teachers like to play chess? They don’t want to deal with the queen’s English.
  65. Why do English teachers make good musicians? They know how to play the right notes.
  66. Why did the English teacher go to the football match? To find the missing full stop.
  67. Why do English teachers make poor mechanics? They can’t handle run-on engines.
  68. Why was the English teacher good at horseback riding? She knew how to rein in her sentences.
  69. Why don’t English teachers get invited to parties? They keep trying to correct the invitations.
  70. Why was the English teacher good at surfing? She could ride the waves of words.
  71. Why did the English teacher bring a thesaurus to the fight? He wanted to throw words, not punches.
  72. Why do English teachers hate playing cards? They’re always dealing with shuffled sentences.
  73. Why did the English teacher wear eyeglasses? To improve her sentence vision.
  74. Why do English teachers make bad politicians? They can’t handle the press.
  75. Why did the English teacher go to the hardware store? To find the right tools for the job.
  76. Why don’t English teachers like playing video games? They can’t get past the character dialogue.
  77. Why was the English teacher good at basketball? She could always find the right angle.
  78. Why did the English teacher go to the casino? She thought she could beat the odds.
  79. Why did the English teacher keep a cat? Because it was always on the write page.
  80. Why don’t English teachers play basketball? They can’t handle the fast breaks.
  81. Why was the English teacher afraid of the Internet? She was afraid of getting caught in the Web.
  82. Why did the English teacher go to the art museum? She was looking for a portrait of a sentence.
  83. Why did the English teacher go to the doctor? She had a bad case of the verbs.
  84. Why don’t English teachers make good actors? They keep forgetting their lines.
  85. Why did the English teacher go to the concert? She wanted to hear the beat of the sentences.
  86. Why was the English teacher good at soccer? She knew where to place the commas.
  87. Why did the English teacher go to the construction site? She wanted to build strong sentences.
  88. Why was the English teacher afraid of the calendar? It had too many dates.
  89. Why did the English teacher go to the library? She was looking for the right words.
  90. Why don’t English teachers make good sailors? They get seasick from all the waves of words.
  91. Why did the English teacher go to the spa? She wanted to relax her sentences.
  92. Why was the English teacher good at golf? She could always find the right swing.
  93. Why don’t English teachers make good doctors? They keep diagnosing grammar problems.
  94. Why did the English teacher go to the gym? She wanted to exercise her vocabulary.
  95. Why was the English teacher good at knitting? She knew how to weave words together.
  96. Why did the English teacher go to the circus? She wanted to see the sentence acrobats.
  97. Why don’t English teachers make good comedians? They keep messing up the punchline.
  98. Why was the English teacher afraid of the jungle? Too many dangling modifiers.
  99. Why did the English teacher go to the mountain? She wanted to scale the height of the language.
  100. Why don’t English teachers make good detectives? They always end up in a syntax.
  101. Why was the English teacher good at yoga? She was flexible with her sentences.
  102. Why did the English teacher go to the space? She wanted to see the stars of grammar.
  103. Why don’t English teachers like to eat sushi? They prefer raw sentences.
  104. Why was the English teacher afraid of the supermarket? Too many aisles to choose from.
  105. Why did the English teacher go to the race? She wanted to see if the sentences could keep pace.
  106. Why don’t English teachers like to play scrabble? They always end up with too many vowels.
  107. Why was the English teacher good at pottery? She could mold sentences into any shape.
  108. Why did the English teacher go to the beach? She wanted to comb through sentences.
  109. Why don’t English teachers like to play the lottery? They don’t like to gamble with their words.
  110. Why was the English teacher good at the stock market? She could predict the rise and fall of sentences.
  111. Why did the English teacher go to the zoo? She wanted to teach the animals about animal metaphors.
  112. Why don’t English teachers like to watch horror movies? They get too scared by the suspense.
  113. Why was the English teacher good at archery? She always hit the mark with her sentences.
  114. Why did the English teacher go to the skating rink? She wanted to glide through her sentences.
  115. Why don’t English teachers like to watch reality shows? They prefer scripted sentences.
  116. Why was the English teacher good at swimming? She could navigate through a sea of words.
  117. Why did the English teacher go to the botanical garden? She wanted to see the root of words.
  118. Why don’t English teachers like to ride bikes? They prefer to walk through sentences.
  119. Why was the English teacher good at painting? She could illustrate her sentences.
  120. Why did the English teacher go to the museum? She wanted to see the art of language.
  121. Why don’t English teachers like to cook? They don’t like to stir up trouble in their sentences.
  122. Why was the English teacher good at bird watching? She could spot the adjectives.
  123. Why did the English teacher go to the bar? She wanted to drown her grammar sorrows.
  124. Why don’t English teachers like to watch the news? They don’t like hearing about breaking sentences.
  125. Why was the English teacher good at gardening? She knew how to prune her sentences.

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