144 chicago jokes

  1. Why don’t Chicagoans ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when the wind is always pointing you out!
  2. Why did the hotdog go to Chicago? It wanted to get dressed!
  3. Why do they call Chicago “The Windy City”? Because “The City That Can’t Decide on Its Weather” was too long.
  4. What do you call a frozen Chicagoan? An icicle!
  5. Why did the pizza maker move to Chicago? He heard there’s always room for a little deep dish.
  6. What’s the only time you don’t need to layer up in Chicago? During the one week of summer.
  7. How does a Chicagoan make their coffee? Just like their politics, strong and dark.
  8. Why did the sandwich go to Chicago? To become a sub-way.
  9. What did the Chicagoan say when his house was freezing? “At least it’s warmer than outside!”
  10. Why did the cloud stay in Chicago? Because it wanted to be a part of the Windy City.
  11. Why did the skeleton go to Chicago? He heard it’s a city with a lot of bones – Soldier Field to be exact!
  12. Why do Chicago Bears fans take a ladder to the bar? In hopes of finally reaching a high score!
  13. Why did the artist move to Chicago? He wanted to draw on the city’s windy inspiration.
  14. What do Chicagoans use to cut their pizza? Their wit. It’s always sharp.
  15. Why do ghosts love Chicago? Because of all the “spirit.”
  16. Why don’t Chicagoans mind the wind? They’re always up for a breeze-through conversation.
  17. Why did the tomato turn red in Chicago? Because it saw the salad dressing – Italian style!
  18. Why did the scarecrow win an award in Chicago? Because it was outstanding in its “field” – Wrigley!
  19. How does Chicago tie its shoes? In little “knot”-sos.
  20. Why is Chicago called “The Second City”? Because the weather always gets the first say.
  21. Why did the Chicagoan bake a cake? To make up for the sweet summer that lasted a week.
  22. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite exercise? The brisk walk from their front door to the car in February.
  23. Why did the bike fall over in Chicago? It was two-tired from battling the headwind.
  24. Why do Chicagoans love their pizzas deep? Because their potholes set a standard.
  25. Why did the Chicagoan bring a map to the beach? To find the “Sandy”-hook of Lake Michigan.
  26. Why was the computer cold in Chicago? It left its Windows open.
  27. What do you call a three-hatted man in Chicago? An optimist.
  28. Why do vampires love Chicago? They heard the necks there are strong from wind resistance.
  29. Why don’t Chicago sports teams drink tea? They’re afraid of the cups – they rarely see one.
  30. Why did the hamburger go to Chicago? It wanted to be a slider.
  31. Why did the Chicagoan get a sunburn during winter? Because the sun also “blows.”
  32. Why are Chicagoans great at poker? They always know when to hold ’em…especially their coats.
  33. Why did the firefly move to Chicago? It wanted to compete with the city lights.
  34. Why don’t cows live in Chicago? They heard the Bulls are in charge.
  35. What do you call a grizzly bear in Chicago? Lost.
  36. Why did the kite move to Chicago? It wanted to go fly a kite.
  37. How do Chicagoans stay in shape during the winter? Shivering and teeth chattering.
  38. Why was the Chicagoan studying the ice cream menu? He was trying to find something colder than the weather outside.
  39. How do you make a Chicago style hot dog? Take any hot dog and add some wind chill.
  40. Why did the clock move to Chicago? It wanted to have a good “time.”
  41. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite type of key? The “wind-key.”
  42. Why did the Chicagoan keep checking his watch? He was waiting for the one day of summer.
  43. Why did the battery go to Chicago? It heard there was positive and negative energy there.
  44. What do you call a snowman in Chicago? A slush fund.
  45. What did the tornado say to Chicago? “I’m your biggest fan!”
  46. Why don’t Chicagoans trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like the weather forecasts.
  47. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite type of music? Anything but blues, they have enough winter for that.
  48. Why did the cat move to Chicago? It wanted to be a cool cat.
  49. Why did the fish live in Chicago? It wanted to be a part of the “school” of the Art Institute.
  50. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite story? The one where spring comes early.
  51. How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm in Chicago? You look for the Fresh Prints!
  52. Why was the baseball team from Chicago like a pancake? Because they both need a good batter!
  53. What do you call a Chicagoan who takes the bus? A wind-surfer.
  54. Why did the calendar move to Chicago? It wanted to have days in the sun and days in the snow.
  55. Why did the cupcake go to Chicago? To become a muffin, under all the pressure.
  56. Why do Chicagoans keep their pizzas close? Because in a city of winds, a deep dish makes a great anchor.
  57. Why did the lightbulb move to Chicago? It wanted to be one of the brightest lights in the city.
  58. What’s the most confusing season in Chicago? Spring, summer, fall, and winter. It’s all in a day.
  59. Why did the football team go to Chicago? They wanted to be blown away.
  60. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite dance? The twist. It’s just like their weather.
  61. Why did the lemon move to Chicago? It wanted to join the “zest” of life there.
  62. What do you call a bird that lives in Chicago? A “wind”-dow peeper.
  63. How do you keep warm in a Chicago winter? Stay in a pizza oven.
  64. Why did the mushroom go to Chicago? Because it’s a “fungi” town.
  65. How do Chicagoans spice up their lives? With a bit of wind chill.
  66. What do you call a noisy neighborhood in Chicago? The “hoot”-ers.
  67. Why did the elephant move to Chicago? It wanted to join the “trunk” shows at Navy Pier.
  68. Why did the orange stop in the middle of a Chicago street? It ran out of juice.
  69. What do you call a Chicagoan with a map and compass? A wind finder.
  70. Why do Chicagoans always carry a spare sweater? Because they’re not sure if it’s July or January.
  71. Why don’t Chicagoans play cricket? The wind always runs out with the ball.
  72. Why did the computer take its hat off in Chicago? It didn’t want to cap-size in the wind.
  73. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite type of fish? Wind-surf and turf.
  74. Why did the flower go to Chicago? It wanted to bloom with the “windy”-go.
  75. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite vegetable? Chill-i peppers.
  76. Why did the musical note move to Chicago? It wanted to be a part of the Wind Ensemble.
  77. Why did the chicken cross the road in Chicago? Because the wind blew it over there.
  78. Why did the egg go to Chicago? It wanted to have an “egg”-citing life.
  79. How does a Chicagoan light up a room? With their windy personality.
  80. Why did the grape stop in the middle of a Chicago street? It didn’t want to become a raisin in the sun.
  81. What did one Chicagoan say to the other during a snowstorm? “This is snow joke!”
  82. Why did the belt go to Chicago? To hold on tight.
  83. Why did the movie star go to Chicago? It wanted to “wind” awards.
  84. Why did the musical go to Chicago? It wanted to be a hit in the “Windy” City.
  85. Why did the cheeseburger go to Chicago? It wanted to be grilled to perfection.
  86. Why do you never tell secrets in Chicago? The wind might carry them away.
  87. Why did the plant go to Chicago? To turn a new leaf.
  88. What do you call a busy day in Chicago? A “gale”-a.
  89. Why did the scarecrow become a Chicagoan? It wanted to be outstanding in its field… of wind.
  90. How can you tell a Chicagoan baked the bread? It rises like the Willis Tower.
  91. Why did the soap go to Chicago? It wanted to come clean.
  92. How do Chicagoans stay cool in the summer? They step outside.
  93. What do you call a Chicagoan in Alaska? Overheated.
  94. Why did the cake go to Chicago? It wanted to feel a bit of frost-ing.
  95. Why did the pepperoni pizza go to Chicago? To spice up its life.
  96. How can you tell if a vampire is from Chicago? They’re only scared of wind gusts, not garlic.
  97. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite chess piece? The windmill.
  98. Why did the balloon go to Chicago? To rise above it all.
  99. What do you call a fish that knows all about Chicago? A wind-gill.
  100. Why did the teddy bear go to Chicago? It wanted to be stuffed with adventure.
  101. Why did the clock get tired in Chicago? It couldn’t handle the “wind” up.
  102. What do you call a frightened Chicagoan? A “breeze” in the headlights.
  103. Why did the mirror go to Chicago? To reflect on the wind.
  104. What did the Chicagoan say to the pizza? “You complete me, crust like the wind.”
  105. What did the soda say to the Chicago hot dog? “You’re soda-licious!”
  106. Why don’t Chicagoans ever get lost? They just follow the wind.
  107. Why did the chili go to Chicago? It wanted to feel “bean” there.
  108. Why did the hot sauce go to Chicago? To add some heat to the city.
  109. Why did the lemon go to Chicago? It wanted to add some zest to life.
  110. How does the Windy City stop its pizza from sliding? It uses a “deep-dish” anchor.
  111. Why did the pepper go to Chicago? To spice up the Windy City.
  112. Why don’t superheroes live in Chicago? The wind always reveals their true identity.
  113. Why did the sun go to Chicago? To compete with the city’s brightness.
  114. Why did the Chicagoan take a nap? All that wind wore him out.
  115. How can you tell if a pirate is from Chicago? He’s always searching for the windy treasure.
  116. Why do trees dislike Chicago? They can never leave.
  117. Why did the cupcake go to Chicago? To rise to the occasion.
  118. What do you call a doughnut from Chicago? A wind ring.
  119. Why did the Chicagoan go to the beach? To surf the wind waves.
  120. What’s the favorite game of Chicago? “Gusts” and ladders.
  121. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite plant? Windflower.
  122. Why did the cookie go to Chicago? To crumble under pressure.
  123. Why did the Chicagoan refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? He thought the cheetah was a Card-inal fan.
  124. Why do Chicagoans never panic in a disaster? They’re used to things blowing up.
  125. What do you call a frightened tree in Chicago? Petrified wood.
  126. Why did the detective move to Chicago? He wanted to be a “wind”-ness.
  127. What did one cloud say to the other in Chicago? “I think we’ve blown them away!”
  128. How do you catch a squirrel in Chicago? Climb a tree and act like a nut, the wind will do the rest.
  129. What do you call a bear that gets lost in Chicago? A city bear-ing.
  130. Why did the Chicagoan only wear one boot? He wanted to give the cold the boot.
  131. Why did the spider move to Chicago? To spin the largest web.
  132. Why did the shoelace move to Chicago? It wanted to tie the knot there.
  133. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite type of pie? Windberry.
  134. Why did the orange go to Chicago? It wanted to be the main squeeze.
  135. How do you get a one-armed Chicagoan out of a tree? Wave at him. The wind will do the rest.
  136. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite instrument? The wind chime.
  137. Why did the Chicagoan bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
  138. What do you call an artist in Chicago? A wind sketcher.
  139. Why did the tree go to Chicago? To branch out.
  140. Why did the bank move to Chicago? To make more “cents” in the wind.
  141. Why do they put fences around graveyards in Chicago? Because people are dying to get in.
  142. Why did the boat move to Chicago? To sail the windy waves.
  143. Why did the cat move to Chicago? To catch the Windy City mice.
  144. What’s a Chicagoan’s favorite bird? Wind-pecker.

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