57+ carpet jokes

1. Why did the carpet go to school? It needed to be a little bolder.
2. What do you call a carpet that doesn’t move? A floor model!
3. What do you call a carpet who’s good at telling jokes? A rugular comedian!
4. Why did the carpet go to therapy? It had deep pile issues.
5. How does a carpet stop a movie? It hits the paws button!
6. What do carpets say at parties? Let’s roll out!
7. Why are carpets like grumpy people? They both hold onto grudges and dirt!
8. Why was the carpet feeling sad? It was getting walked all over.
9. Why was the carpet feeling blue? It got stepped on one too many times.
10. Why do carpets make terrible secret keepers? Because you can always see right through their cover-up!
11. Why don’t carpets get lost? Because they always know the floor plan!
12. How do carpets stay in shape? They do rugular exercise!
13. What do you call a carpet’s child? A rug rat!
14. How did the carpet get a promotion? By laying down on the job!
15. What did the carpet say to the vacuum? Stop sucking up to me!
16. What do you call a carpet in a frying pan? A rug roll!
17. Why was the carpet always tired? Because it was always floored.
18. What’s a carpet’s favorite day of the week? Sunday, because it’s the only day it doesn’t get stepped on!
19. What’s a carpet’s favorite movie? “The Rugrats Movie”!
20. What do you call a carpet that only tells the truth? A straight rug!
21. What do you call an expensive carpet? A plush investment!
22. Why don’t carpets go camping? They’re afraid of roughing it.
23. Why don’t carpets play hide and seek? They always get found underfoot!
24. What kind of music do carpets love? R&B: Rugs & Berber!
25. What’s a carpet’s favorite dance? The shag!
26. What do you call a carpet that doesn’t stop talking? A chatter rug!
27. How does a carpet stay cool in summer? It lays low!
28. Why was the carpet always on edge? It was always under pressure.
29. Why did the carpet go to the doctor? It had a bad case of shaggy dog syndrome.
30. Why did the rug go to the gym? It wanted to be a fit.
31. What does a carpet and a detective have in common? They both cover the ground.
32. Why was the rug always worried? Because everyone was always stepping on its toes.
33. Why did the carpet flunk out of school? Because it always gets laid!
34. What’s a rug’s favorite sport? Mat wrestling!
35. What do you call a carpet that can’t make up its mind? A flip-flop rug.
36. Why was the rug so confident? It knew it could floor anyone.
37. What did the carpet say to the wall? I’ve got you covered.
38. Why do carpets never win at poker? Because they always fold.
39. Why did the rug go to the bar? To get a little tipsy.
40. What do you call a carpet with no edges? A perpetual runner!
41. What do you call a carpet that likes to paint? A rug artist.
42. What’s a carpet’s favorite weather? Fair and woolly.
43. What’s a carpet’s least favorite chore? Hanging out to dry.
44. Why did the carpet go to the dentist? It had a bad case of pile decay.
45. What do you call a carpet that never lies? A true rug.
46. Why did the rug get arrested? It was involved in shady underfoot dealings.
47. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of bread? Pita, because it’s flat!
48. Why did the carpet join the circus? To be part of the big top.
49. What do you call a carpet that’s gone bad? A rug gone rogue.
50. Why was the rug so smug? It knew it had the room covered.
51. Why did the carpet cross the road? To get to the other side of the room.
52. What do you call a carpet that’s lost its job? A rug on the dole.
53. What do carpets use to make calls? Their rugby phone.
54. What does a carpet wear to a formal event? A three-pile suit.
55. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of dog? A Shih Tzu – they’re both so fluffy!
56. What do you call a carpet that’s good at chess? A checkmate rug.
57. What do you call a carpet with an attitude? A snub rug.
58. Why was the carpet feeling sticky? It had a sweet-tooth for candy spills.
59. What do you call a rug that doesn’t back down? A stand-up mat.
60. What do you call a carpet with a high IQ? A brainy rug.
61. What do you call a carpet that’s always on time? A punctual rug.
62. Why don’t carpets get lonely? Because they’re always surrounded by furniture.
63. What do you call a rug that’s into rock music? A band mat.
64. What’s a carpet’s favorite drink? Carpet-tea-no!
65. What did the carpet say to the rug? “You’re such a cut-pile above the rest.”
66. What’s a carpet’s favorite vegetable? A yam, because they’re both made of fibers!
67. Why did the rug go to the party? To tie the room together.
68. What do you call a carpet that’s always sunny? A bright rug.
69. Why was the carpet feeling chilly? It got a cold spot.
70. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of music? Smooth pile jazz.
71. Why did the rug go on a diet? It wanted to be less bulky.
72. What do you call a rug with great manners? A well-matted rug.
73. What did the wall-to-wall carpet say to the area rug? “You’re just a patch on me!”
74. What’s a carpet’s favorite school subject? Geography, because they cover a lot of ground.
75. Why did the carpet go on a date with the rug? It wanted to floor it with its charm.
76. Why did the rug go to the seaside? It wanted to be a beach mat.
77. What do you call a carpet that’s a neat freak? A tidy rug.
78. What did the carpet say to the rug on Valentine’s Day? “You’ve got me floored!”
79. What did the old carpet say to the new carpet? “You’re just a rug in the making.”
80. Why don’t carpets go to the zoo? They don’t want to be mistaken for animal skin rugs!
81. Why did the rug join the race? It wanted to feel the rush.
82. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of cat? A Persian, for obvious reasons.
83. What do you call a carpet that loves the summer? A sun rug.
84. Why was the rug always in a good mood? It got a good vibe from the floor.
85. What do you call a rug that can’t stand heat? A cool mat.
86. What do you call a carpet with a bad hair day? A frizzy rug.
87. What’s a carpet’s favorite song? “Rolling in the Deep,” because they know all about it!
88. What do you call a rug that loves to read? A book mat.
89. Why did the carpet break up with the rug? It was tired of being taken for granted.
90. Why did the rug get into politics? It wanted to cover more ground.
91. What did the rug say to the doormat? “You’re beneath me!”
92. What do you call a carpet that loves to travel? A nomad rug.
93. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of shoe? Slippers, they’re the softest!
94. Why was the rug feeling down? It missed the foot traffic.
95. What do you call a rug that doesn’t like spicy food? A mild mat.
96. What did the carpet say to the floor? “I’ve got your back.”
97. Why was the carpet feeling confident? It knew it had a plush life.
98. What do you call a rug that loves gardening? A green mat.
99. Why was the carpet always late? It had too much on its plate.
100. What do you call a carpet that’s always getting in trouble? A rugscallion.

Halfway there!

101. Why did the rug go on vacation? It needed a breather from the constant footfall.
102. What do you call a carpet that loves puzzles? A riddle rug.
103. Why don’t carpets like fast food? Because they prefer slow-cooked meals on a low heat!
104. What do you call a carpet that’s always happy? A cheery rug.
105. Why did the rug join the orchestra? It wanted to be a drum mat.
106. Why did the carpet get the flu? It was down with a lot of foot traffic.
107. What do you call a rug that’s into fashion? A style mat.
108. Why was the carpet feeling relaxed? It just got a deep clean.
109. What do you call a carpet with an attitude? A sass mat.
110. What do you call a rug that’s good at football? A sporty mat.
111. What did the carpet say to the treadmill? “You think you get stepped on a lot?”
112. Why did the rug become a musician? It loved being underfoot on stage.
113. What’s a carpet’s favorite meal? Anything crumb-free!
114. What do you call a carpet that loves coffee? A latte rug.
115. Why did the rug go to the art gallery? It wanted to be a welcome mat.
116. Why don’t carpets play tennis? They’re afraid of getting served.
117. What do you call a carpet that’s good at math? A smart mat.
118. Why did the carpet get a job in sales? It wanted to make a soft sell.
119. What do you call a rug that’s into bodybuilding? A muscle mat.
120. Why did the rug go to the library? It wanted to be a book mat.
121. What do you call a carpet that loves cooking? A kitchen mat.
122. Why did the carpet go to the concert? It wanted to be a stage rug.
123. What’s a carpet’s favorite season? Spring, it’s the perfect time for a deep clean!
124. What do you call a rug that loves pizza? A cheesy mat.
125. What’s a carpet’s favorite game? Twister, because it involves a lot of stepping!
126. Why was the carpet feeling nervous? It was up for a big clean.
127. What do you call a rug that’s into photography? A snapshot mat.
128. Why did the rug go to the spa? It wanted to be a bath mat.
129. What do you call a carpet that loves Halloween? A spooky mat.
130. Why was the carpet feeling invisible? It was under a big piece of furniture.
131. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of bird? A carpetweaver bird, for its nest-building skills!
132. What do you call a rug that’s into astronomy? A star mat.
133. What do you call a carpet that loves ice cream? A sweet mat.
134. Why did the carpet go to the gym? It wanted to be a yoga mat.
135. Why did the rug go to the cafe? It wanted to be a coffee mat.
136. What do you call a carpet that’s into history? A heritage mat.
137. Why was the rug feeling cramped? It was under a lot of furniture.
138. What do you call a carpet that loves the beach? A sandy mat.
139. Why did the carpet go to the office? It wanted to be a doormat.
140. What do you call a rug that’s into romance novels? A love mat.
141. Why was the carpet feeling cozy? It was a shag pile.
142. What do you call a carpet that loves to knit? A yarn mat.
143. Why did the rug go to the bakery? It wanted to be a pastry mat.
144. What do you call a carpet that’s into classical music? A symphony mat.
145. What’s a carpet’s favorite type of tree? A weeping willow, for its droopy fronds that look like shag pile.
146. What do you call a rug that’s into poetry? A sonnet mat.
147. Why did the carpet go to the cinema? It wanted to be a red carpet.
148. What do you call a carpet that loves to dance? A boogie mat.
149. Why was the rug feeling nervous? It was about to get a vacuum.
150. What do you call a rug that’s into science fiction? A space mat.