139 buffalo bills jokes

  1. Why do the Buffalo Bills make great detectives? They can always track the quarterback!
  2. What do you call a Buffalo Bill with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
  3. Why don’t the Bills drink tea? Because the Jets have all the cups!
  4. How do you know the Tooth Fairy is a Buffalo Bills fan? She leaves quarters under pillows, not touchdowns.
  5. What’s the difference between a dollar bill and a Buffalo Bill? You can always get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  6. Why are Buffalo Bills players like grizzly bears? Every fall they go into hibernation.
  7. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring string to the game? So they could tie the score.
  8. What do the Bills and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  9. How does a Buffalo Bill fan change a light bulb? They don’t. They embrace living in the Patriots’ shadow.
  10. What do you call a Buffalo Bill in the Super Bowl? A referee.
  11. Why can’t the Buffalo Bills use the internet? They can’t get past their firewall.
  12. Why are Buffalo Bills jokes becoming harder to make? Because they always come up short.
  13. Why are Buffalo Bills like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and fall apart before you’re half done with them.
  14. Why do Buffalo Bills fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces.
  15. What’s the best way to train your dog to roll over and play dead? Have them watch a couple of Buffalo Bills games.
  16. Why don’t the Bills ever win at chess? Because they’ve lost too many checkers.
  17. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after a while.
  18. What do the Buffalo Bills and Billy the Kid have in common? They’re both famous for shooting blanks.
  19. Why did the Buffalo Bill go to the bakery? Because he kneaded a turnover.
  20. Why do Buffalo Bills fans eat their lunch alone? Because all their friends are at the playoffs.
  21. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a pinball machine? The pinball machine scores more points.
  22. Why do the Buffalo Bills bring a ladder to the game? To finally get some points on the board.
  23. How do you keep a Buffalo Bills player out of your yard? Put up goalposts.
  24. Why can’t the Buffalo Bills play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  25. How do the Bills follow the NFL’s COVID-19 guidelines? By always staying at least 6 points away from the opponents.
  26. Why did the Buffalo Bill bring sand to the game? He heard the other team wanted a blitz.
  27. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bill and a park bench? The bench can support a family.
  28. Why do Buffalo Bills fans pour their cereal on a plate? Because they’ve lost all their bowls.
  29. How are the Buffalo Bills like my neighbors? They can’t pick up a single yard!
  30. Why did the Buffalo Bills go to the art school? To learn how to draw.
  31. Why can’t Buffalo Bills players use smartphones? Because they can’t find the endzone.
  32. How are Buffalo Bills like cats? They don’t play well with dogs…or Lions, or Bengals, or Panthers.
  33. Why did the Buffalo Bill take his football to school? Because he wanted to show his friends what an actual touchdown looks like.
  34. Why are Buffalo Bills players like old books? They both belong in the archive.
  35. How do you know Santa is a Bills fan? He always misses his delivery.
  36. Why did the Buffalo Bills get a hot air balloon? To get over their losing streak.
  37. How do the Buffalo Bills count to 10? 0-1, 0-2, 0-3…
  38. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills fan and a martian? Martians have a better football program.
  39. What does the Titanic and the Buffalo Bills have in common? They’re both good until they hit the ice.
  40. What do you call a Buffalo Bill with a pocket watch? An optimist.
  41. Why don’t Buffalo Bills ever wind up at the zoo? Too difficult to teach the gorillas to feel inferior.
  42. How are the Buffalo Bills like my dad’s car? They can’t go past second gear.
  43. What do Buffalo Bills and horses have in common? They both rely on a stable performance.
  44. Why are Buffalo Bills like a pancake? They’re always getting flipped over.
  45. How is a Buffalo Bill like a faulty vending machine? Neither gives you your quarter back.
  46. Why don’t the Buffalo Bills have a website? They can’t string three “Ws” together.
  47. Why don’t Buffalo Bills use paper? Because it’s too easy to tear apart.
  48. Why are Buffalo Bills like tornados? At first there’s a lot of spinning and excitement, but then your house is gone.
  49. Why can’t Buffalo Bills play hide and seek? Because good ones always show up in the end.
  50. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking eventually.
  51. Why did the Buffalo Bills visit the bakery? They needed a good “roll” model.
  52. What do you call a Buffalo Bill with half a brain? Gifted.
  53. Why are Buffalo Bills like a possum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
  54. Why do the Buffalo Bills have a lot in common with Pilgrims? They get slaughtered every November.
  55. What do Buffalo Bills and Billy goats have in common? They both headbutt things when they’re upset.
  56. Why are the Buffalo Bills like my office? They’re both great places to take a nap on a Sunday.
  57. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills fan and a coconut tree? The coconut tree has more points.
  58. How do you stop a Buffalo Bill from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
  59. What do you call a Buffalo Bill in a playoff game? A visitor.
  60. Why do Buffalo Bills make terrible gardeners? They can’t handle any sort of rush.
  61. Why are Buffalo Bills like the mailman? They always deliver… for the other team.
  62. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills fan and a skydiver? The skydiver can pull the cord to stop the descent.
  63. Why are Buffalo Bills like pirates? They always get lost at “C” (sea).
  64. What do the Buffalo Bills and a close race have in common? The finish is always exciting, but they still come second.
  65. Why do Buffalo Bills always fly coach? Because they never get upgraded to first class.
  66. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a wrestler? The wrestler has a better fake move.
  67. Why did the Buffalo Bills go to the bakery? Because they knead a better roll.
  68. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a bowling ball? You can only get three fingers into a bowling ball.
  69. How are the Buffalo Bills like an actor? They always drop the ball at the final act.
  70. Why did the Buffalo Bills go to the school? To get some points across.
  71. Why are Buffalo Bills like a rooster? They can’t play in the henhouse.
  72. Why do Buffalo Bills always carry a map? Because they keep losing their direction.
  73. What do you call a Buffalo Bill in a spelling bee? A loser.
  74. Why are Buffalo Bills like a broken drum? You can’t beat them!
  75. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a magician? The magician does a disappearing act.
  76. Why did the Buffalo Bill bring a ladder to the game? To finally catch a pass.
  77. What do the Buffalo Bills and the police have in common? Neither one can catch a thief.
  78. Why are Buffalo Bills like my ex? They always let me down when it matters most.
  79. Why do Buffalo Bills always carry a pencil? To draw up a plan on how to win a game.
  80. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills fan and a baby? Eventually, the baby stops crying.
  81. Why are Buffalo Bills like my uncle? They always start the season full of spirits.
  82. Why are Buffalo Bills like a three-pin plug? They’re no good in Europe.
  83. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and my job? My job still sucks after Labor Day.
  84. How are the Buffalo Bills like my mom’s cooking? They both leave a bad taste in my mouth.
  85. Why did the Buffalo Bills go to the school dance? To learn how to catch a groove.
  86. Why are Buffalo Bills like a bear? They both hibernate in winter.
  87. What do you call a Buffalo Bill in a high stakes poker game? A bluffer.
  88. Why are Buffalo Bills like a bad comedian? They can’t land a punchline.
  89. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and an old tire? An old tire has a better grip.
  90. Why did the Buffalo Bill go to the paint store? He heard he could get a coat of primer for a good cover-up.
  91. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a broom to the game? Because they always clean up… the opponent’s field.
  92. Why are Buffalo Bills like my car keys? They’re always getting lost.
  93. What do the Buffalo Bills and a bear cub have in common? They both get schooled by the Patriots.
  94. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a toaster to the game? They’re great at getting jammed.
  95. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a teabag? The teabag stays in the cup longer.
  96. Why are the Buffalo Bills like a faulty clock? They only perform well twice a day.
  97. How are the Buffalo Bills like an old pair of jeans? They both get worn out by the end of the season.
  98. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a fan to the game? To blow away their chances.
  99. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a chicken? The chicken can cross the road.
  100. Why are Buffalo Bills like a bad actor? They can’t find a supporting cast.
  101. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
  102. Why are Buffalo Bills like the Easter Bunny? They’re both good at hopping around, just not at scoring touchdowns.
  103. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a flashlight to the game? They were hoping to finally shine.
  104. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bill and a bucket? The bucket has been to the well.
  105. Why do Buffalo Bills always carry a pen? They’re still hoping to score.
  106. How are the Buffalo Bills like a teenager? They can’t stay focused for four quarters.
  107. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a tornado? The tornado can make it to a touchdown.
  108. Why are Buffalo Bills like a politician? They always fumble the ball.
  109. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a carpenter? A carpenter knows the drill.
  110. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a compass to the game? They needed help finding their way to the end zone.
  111. Why are Buffalo Bills like an old car? They break down before the finish line.
  112. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bill and a horse? A horse can finish a race.
  113. Why are Buffalo Bills like a cake? They always crumble under pressure.
  114. Why are Buffalo Bills like a campfire? They can’t burn through the defense.
  115. What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a golfer? A golfer has a better swing.
  116. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a ruler to the game? They wanted to measure their progress.
  117. Why are Buffalo Bills like an old pair of shoes? They can’t stay laced up for four quarters.
  118. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a soda can? A soda can knows how to pop.
  119. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a book to the game? They needed a playbook.
  120. Why are Buffalo Bills like a rabbit? They can’t outfox the competition.
  121. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a rock? The rock has a better chance of getting a roll.
  122. Why are Buffalo Bills like an old car battery? They don’t have a good charge.
  123. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a broomstick? A broomstick knows how to sweep.
  124. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a calculator to the game? They needed help counting their points.
  125. Why are Buffalo Bills like a pair of old socks? They’re full of holes.
  126. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a lollipop? A lollipop knows how to stick.
  127. Why are Buffalo Bills like a pie? They always get sliced up.
  128. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a pencil to the game? They wanted to draw a win.
  129. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a bad dancer? A bad dancer has a better chance of scoring a point.
  130. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a magnifying glass to the game? They wanted to examine their mistakes.
  131. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a broken watch? A broken watch is right twice a day.
  132. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a bucket to the game? They needed something to carry their hopes in.
  133. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a balloon? A balloon can go up.
  134. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a pair of scissors to the game? They needed to cut their losses.
  135. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a bowling ball? A bowling ball can make a strike.
  136. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a map to the game? They needed help finding the goal line.
  137. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a bag of chips? A bag of chips has more crunch.
  138. Why did the Buffalo Bills bring a stopwatch to the game? They needed to time their failures.
  139. What’s the difference between a Buffalo Bills player and a dead battery? A dead battery has a positive side.

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