150 bad day jokes

  1. Why don’t we tell secrets on a bad day? Because it’s just not the right time to spill the beans.
  2. Why was the computer cold on a bad day? It left its Windows open!
  3. Why did the sun go to school? To brighten up a bad day.
  4. Why don’t we play hide and seek on a bad day? Because even a good hiding spot can’t hide our sorrows.
  5. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert on a bad day? I scream.
  6. Why did the calendar file a police report? It had a bad date.
  7. Why don’t teddy bears order dessert? They’re already stuffed from the bad day.
  8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  9. What do you call a fake noodle on a bad day? An impasta!
  10. Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts.
  11. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They crack up too easily!
  12. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
  13. Why don’t we give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
  14. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  15. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  16. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? Stake.
  17. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese!
  18. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  19. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  21. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  22. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  23. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  24. Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  25. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
  26. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
  27. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  28. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  29. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
  30. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  31. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t tuna fish!
  32. What’s a computer’s least favorite food? Spam!
  33. What do you call a snowman with a temper? A meltdown.
  34. Why don’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  35. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  36. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no-body to go with!
  37. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved!
  38. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  39. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up pants!
  40. Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest.
  41. Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words!
  42. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  43. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys!
  44. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
  45. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
  46. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  47. What do you call a rabbit with a bent ear? A receding hareline!
  48. Why do we never give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  49. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
  50. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  51. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  52. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  53. Why do we never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it!
  54. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  55. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  56. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
  57. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys!
  58. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
  59. What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes!
  60. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  61. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  62. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
  63. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  64. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? Stake.
  65. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  66. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  67. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  68. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  69. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
  70. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  71. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  72. Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words!
  73. Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest.
  74. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  75. Why don’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  76. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t tuna fish!
  77. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  78. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up pants!
  79. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  80. What do you call a snowman with a temper? A meltdown.
  81. What’s a computer’s least favorite food? Spam!
  82. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  83. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  84. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
  85. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
  86. What do you call a rabbit with a bent ear? A receding hareline!
  87. Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  88. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
  89. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
  90. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no-body to go with!
  91. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved!
  92. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  93. Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest.
  94. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
  95. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys!
  96. What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes!
  97. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  98. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  99. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  100. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  101. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
  102. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  103. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  104. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  105. What do you call a snowman with a temper? A meltdown.
  106. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  107. Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words!
  108. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  109. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
  110. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  111. Why don’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  112. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up pants!
  113. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
  114. What do you call a rabbit with a bent ear? A receding hareline!
  115. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  116. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
  117. Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
  118. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t tuna fish!
  119. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  120. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  121. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  122. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? Stake.
  123. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  124. Why did the computer cold on a bad day? It left its Windows open!
  125. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
  126. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
  127. What’s a computer’s least favorite food? Spam!
  128. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  129. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
  130. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  131. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
  132. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  133. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
  134. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  135. Why don’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  136. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  137. Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words!
  138. Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest.
  139. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  140. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  141. What do you call a snowman with a temper? A meltdown.
  142. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
  143. Why don’t we give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
  144. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up pants!
  145. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  146. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  147. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can’t tuna fish!
  148. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
  149. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  150. And finally, why don’t we tell secrets on a bad day? Because it’s just not the right time to spill the beans.

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