138 bus driver jokes

  1. Why don’t bus drivers ever get lost? Because they always take the route home!
  2. What did the bus driver say to the egg? You’re going to crack under the pressure of peak hours!
  3. What’s a bus driver’s favorite band? The Doors!
  4. Why did the bus driver refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? Because he was afraid of cheetahs!
  5. Why do bus drivers always know the latest gossip? Because they’re always picking up the latest news!
  6. What’s a bus driver’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Believin'” – because they never do!
  7. Why was the bus driver bad at baseball? He always missed the stops!
  8. What did the bus say to its driver? “We’ve got a long road ahead, don’t ‘tire’ out!”
  9. Why do bus drivers never get cold? Because they have so many ‘fans’!
  10. What do you call a bus driver who can play the piano? A driving maestro!
  11. Why don’t bus drivers make good comedians? Because their humor always ‘stops’ short!
  12. What’s a bus driver’s favorite movie? “Speed” – just without the speed!
  13. How did the bus driver get so good at his job? Practice makes ‘perfect stop’!
  14. What do bus drivers and electricians have in common? They both know the ‘routes’!
  15. Why was the bus driver a bad cook? He always missed the ‘stop’ while adding spices!
  16. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of clothing? A ‘stop’ hat!
  17. Why do bus drivers never play hide and seek? They’re always spotted at the bus stop!
  18. What do you call a bus driver who likes gardening? A route-tender!
  19. Why was the bus driver always calm? He knew how to ‘brake’ before things got heated!
  20. What did the psychic say to the bus driver? I see many stops in your future!
  21. Why do bus drivers make great authors? Because their life is full of interesting ‘stops’!
  22. What’s a bus driver’s favorite chess piece? The rook – because it travels in straight lines!
  23. Why don’t bus drivers like cricket? They can’t stand the running between stops!
  24. How do bus drivers say goodbye? “Can’t ‘stop’ now, I have a bus to catch!”
  25. What’s a bus driver’s favorite weather? ‘Stop’-ical storms!
  26. Why are bus drivers good at meditation? They’re experts at ‘stopping’ their thoughts!
  27. What’s a bus driver’s favorite math equation? Stop + Go = Route!
  28. Why did the bus driver get a promotion? He knew all the best routes to success!
  29. What do you call a magical bus driver? A transportalist!
  30. Why don’t bus drivers play football? They keep trying to ‘pass’ to the wrong team!
  31. Why do bus drivers make good detectives? They always follow the right routes!
  32. Why are bus drivers bad at poker? They reveal their hands at every stop!
  33. What do bus drivers and computers have in common? They both have lots of bytes and buses!
  34. Why do bus drivers like clocks? They always know when it’s time to ‘stop’!
  35. Why did the bus driver go to therapy? He had too many stops and starts in his life!
  36. What’s a bus driver’s favorite dance move? The bus ‘stop’!
  37. What do you call a bus driver who likes to cook? A gourmet router!
  38. What did the muffin say to the bus driver? “You’re driving me ‘batty’ with all these stops!”
  39. Why are bus drivers good at jigsaw puzzles? They know where every piece ‘stops’!
  40. Why do bus drivers like old movies? They appreciate a good ‘stop’ motion!
  41. Why do bus drivers never win at video games? They always hit the pause button!
  42. Why did the bus driver study philosophy? He wanted to learn about the ‘route’ of all knowledge!
  43. Why was the bus driver a good actor? He knew when to make an entrance and ‘exit’!
  44. What’s a bus driver’s favorite vegetable? Route-abaga!
  45. Why don’t bus drivers get bored? They always have passengers to ‘drive’ them to laughter!
  46. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of story? An epic journey with lots of stops!
  47. Why are bus drivers bad at painting? They only know how to draw lines!
  48. What do you call a bus driver who likes astronomy? A star route navigator!
  49. What’s a bus driver’s favorite exercise? Stop jumps!
  50. Why did the bus driver take up yoga? To help him ‘stop and go’ with the flow!
  51. What do you call a bus driver who tells bad jokes? A stand-up tragedian!
  52. Why did the bus driver get an award? For his ‘stop-notch’ service!
  53. What’s a bus driver’s favorite fruit? A ‘stop’ical fruit!
  54. Why are bus drivers bad at soccer? They think every stop is a goal!
  55. Why did the bus driver bring a ladder? To reach the high road!
  56. Why do bus drivers hate rollercoasters? Too many fast stops!
  57. What’s a bus driver’s favorite board game? Ticket to Ride!
  58. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of music? Pop… because it’s full of ‘stops’!
  59. Why don’t bus drivers like magic tricks? They can’t deal with all the disappearing acts!
  60. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of pasta? Spaghetti Junction!
  61. Why are bus drivers good at playing the trombone? They’re used to handling long, windy routes!
  62. What do you call a bus driver with no sense of direction? A roundabout expert!
  63. Why are bus drivers like surfers? They ride the waves of commuters!
  64. Why do bus drivers love puns? They’re experts at ‘driving’ the point home!
  65. Why did the bus driver study geography? To know every route by heart!
  66. Why do bus drivers like quiet passengers? Because they don’t want to ‘miss a beat’!
  67. Why did the bus driver take up knitting? It’s all about following patterns, just like routes!
  68. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of book? A travelogue with lots of stops!
  69. Why are bus drivers like Christmas trees? They light up when they’re on duty!
  70. Why did the bus driver become a gardener? He was used to dealing with ‘routes’!
  71. What do bus drivers and DJs have in common? They know how to ‘turn the tables’!
  72. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of math? Geometry – they’re always calculating angles!
  73. Why are bus drivers like judges? They know when to stop and go!
  74. Why did the bus driver go to art school? He wanted to learn to draw better routes!
  75. What’s a bus driver’s favorite drink? Stop and Go juice!
  76. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of bread? A baguette – it’s long and straight, like their route!
  77. Why did the bus driver get a PhD? He wanted to be a ‘doctor of routes’!
  78. Why are bus drivers like lawyers? They know the ‘route’ to justice!
  79. Why did the bus driver learn Morse code? For the ‘stops’ and ‘dashes’!
  80. What’s a bus driver’s favorite candy? ‘Stop’ and ‘Go’obstoppers!
  81. What do you call a bus driver who likes to fish? A Rod and Reeler!
  82. Why are bus drivers like politicians? They know every ‘stop’ on the campaign trail!
  83. Why do bus drivers make great archaeologists? They love digging into the ‘routes’ of civilization!
  84. Why did the bus driver learn French? To make his routes sound fancier!
  85. Why did the bus driver become a baker? He was tired of the daily ‘roll’!
  86. What do bus drivers and astronomers have in common? They both navigate by the stars!
  87. Why did the bus driver start a blog? To ‘stop’ and reflect on his journeys!
  88. Why are bus drivers like pilots? They have passengers’ lives in their hands!
  89. Why do bus drivers hate escalators? They can’t control the ‘stops’!
  90. Why did the bus driver study architecture? He loves ‘structural’ routes!
  91. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of joke? One with a great ‘punchline’!
  92. Why do bus drivers love sudoku? It’s all about following the right route!
  93. Why did the bus driver take up boxing? He was used to ‘throwing punches’!
  94. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of poetry? A road-em – a poem about roads!
  95. Why are bus drivers like cats? They’re always on the prowl for the next stop!
  96. What do you call a bus driver who likes to race? A speed demon – on break time only!
  97. Why did the bus driver start a rock band? He was used to being on ‘tour’!
  98. Why are bus drivers like mathematicians? They know all the angles of their routes!
  99. What’s a bus driver’s favorite flower? A ‘rose’ – they love the ’rounds’ they make!
  100. Why did the bus driver join the circus? He wanted to ‘run away’ from his usual route!
  101. What do you call a bus driver who can play the guitar? A ‘rock and roll’ model!
  102. Why are bus drivers like secret agents? They have a ‘license to drive’!
  103. What’s a bus driver’s favorite shellfish? A ‘bus’sel of crabs!
  104. What’s a bus driver’s favorite TV show? “The Amazing Race” – except they’d drive calmly and carefully!
  105. Why do bus drivers make good dancers? They know how to ‘move’ the crowd!
  106. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of coffee? Espresso – it’s quick, like their stops!
  107. Why did the bus driver become a poet? He found beauty in the everyday ‘route’!
  108. Why do bus drivers love crossword puzzles? They enjoy finding the right ‘route’ to the answer!
  109. Why are bus drivers like firefighters? They both know how to use a ‘hose’!
  110. What do you call a bus driver who likes bird watching? A ‘fly and ride’ enthusiast!
  111. Why do bus drivers love yoga? They enjoy the ‘balance’ it brings to their route!
  112. Why did the bus driver become a brewer? He wanted to make ‘hop on, hop off’ ale!
  113. What do bus drivers and bakers have in common? They both make ‘dough’ from their daily rounds!
  114. Why did the bus driver become a historian? He was interested in the ‘route’ of all things!
  115. Why did the bus driver join a bowling league? He enjoyed ‘striking’ out on his own!
  116. Why are bus drivers like sailors? They both navigate using charts!
  117. What do you call a bus driver who can solve a Rubik’s cube? A ‘twist and turn’ expert!
  118. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of tea? ‘Chamomile’ – it helps them ‘steer’ clear of stress!
  119. Why are bus drivers like athletes? They’re always on the ‘run’!
  120. Why did the bus driver become a DJ? He loved ‘driving’ the crowd wild!
  121. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of cake? ‘Carrot’ – it helps them see the route clearly!
  122. Why did the bus driver start a vineyard? He loved the ‘twists and turns’ of the vines!
  123. Why are bus drivers like teachers? They both help you get where you need to go!
  124. Why did the bus driver learn to play the drums? He wanted to ‘beat’ the rush hour!
  125. Why are bus drivers like musicians? They both follow a ‘score’ – or route!
  126. Why do bus drivers love horoscopes? They’re always looking for the right ‘path’!
  127. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of bird? A ‘bus’tard – because it shares their name!
  128. What do you call a bus driver who can cook a gourmet meal? A ‘route’ Michelin star chef!
  129. Why did the bus driver become a carpenter? He was used to ‘routing’ out the best path!
  130. What do bus drivers and wine tasters have in common? They both appreciate a good ‘bouquet’ – or bus queue!
  131. Why are bus drivers like generals? They’re always strategizing the best route!
  132. What’s a bus driver’s favorite type of cheese? ‘Swiss’ – it’s full of holes, like their route!
  133. Why do bus drivers love origami? It’s all about the right ‘folds’ – or turns!
  134. Why are bus drivers like postmen? They both deliver people to their destinations!
  135. Why did the bus driver become a geologist? He was interested in the ‘layers’ of the earth, like the layers of his route!
  136. Why are bus drivers like artists? They both see the beauty in everyday life!
  137. What’s a bus driver’s favorite holiday? Thanksgiving – because they’re thankful for all their passengers!
  138. Why did the bus driver learn to play the trumpet? He loved to ‘blow his own horn’!

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