150 writing puns
- Why did the pencil go to school? Because it wanted to be a little sharper.
- Why did the sentence end with a pencil? It wanted to leave a mark.
- Why did the book join the police? It wanted to work undercover.
- What’s a writer’s favorite snack? Synonym buns.
- Why was the notebook feeling good? It finally got all of its pages together.
- Why did the punctuation mark break up with the sentence? They had too many issues to comma-ver.
- The pencil couldn’t finish its sentence because it was feeling too lead down.
- Why did the writer bring a ladder? To reach new heights in their story.
- Why did the paragraph get locked up? It was found guilty of many sentences.
- Did you hear about the punctuation party? It was full of commas and periods but the exclamation marks made it exciting.
- Why do words hate playing hide-and-seek? They always get spelled out.
- Why was the writer always cold? Because they were surrounded by drafts.
- Why don’t writers play hide-and-seek? Because good luck when they’re hiding behind their words.
- Why did the writer become a gardener? He wanted to grow some prose.
- The paper asked the pen if it was mightier than the sword. The pen just drew a blank.
- Why did the typewriter go to therapy? It had too many issues to sort out.
- Why did the writer go to the gym? To strengthen their vocabulary.
- Why did the writer keep a pet eraser? It always made her mistakes disappear.
- Why was the book a great musician? It had perfect composure.
- The period didn’t want to end the sentence. It just wanted to make a point.
- Why was the novel so good at poker? Because it always had a few tricks up its sleeve.
- Why did the ink like the pen? Because it found it quite re-mark-able.
- Why was the semicolon always causing trouble? Because it could never let a sentence end.
- What do you call an aggressive punctuation mark? An exclamation punch.
- Why did the essay check itself into the hospital? It was feeling too weak, it had lost all its points.
- How did the paragraph win the race? It knew all the short-cuts.
- Why do writers hate racing? Because they always get caught in a tight deadline.
- What did the punctuation mark say to the misbehaving sentence? “You’re grounded, no more periods for you.”
- Why don’t writers play basketball? They can’t stand the constant editing of the drafts.
- Why did the dictionary break up with the thesaurus? It was tired of the synonyms.
- Why was the book always on a diet? It had too many filler words.
- Why did the writer become a baker? To knead the dough of their creativity.
- What’s a writer’s favorite clothing item? Their text-ile.
- Why did the book go to the therapist? It had too many characters to handle.
- How does a writer catch a squirrel? They climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It felt it was always rubbing things the wrong way.
- Why was the typewriter feeling so low? It was just not its type.
- Why did the book never lose at chess? It always starts with a good opening move.
- What do you call a writer with a cold? A novelist.
- Why was the page so pale? It hadn’t seen the sun in a sentence.
- Why do authors always carry a map? To avoid falling into plot holes.
- Why did the book go to the bank? It needed to check its balance.
- Why do books never have secrets? Someone always spills the ink.
- Why was the notebook so strong? It had a hard back.
- Why did the poet always carry an umbrella? To avoid the rain of words.
- What’s a pencil’s favorite place? Pennsylvania.
- What did the writer do when it got chilly? They used a draft to start a fire.
- How do writers say goodbye? “Write to me.”
- Why was the pencil feeling so good? It was on a roll.
- Why do writers make terrible secret agents? They can’t resist spilling the ink.
- What did the book say to the bookmark? “I’ve got you covered.”
- What’s an author’s favorite exercise? Novelty lifting.
- Why don’t writers make good cooks? Too much time spent on thesaurus, not enough on the sauce.
- Why was the book always lost? It kept losing its place.
- How do words get around? They take the sentence.
- What’s a ghost writer’s favorite kind of music? Soul.
- Why don’t writers like playing cards? They always get dealt a bad hand.
- Why was the punctuation mark a good boxer? It knew when to punch-uate.
- Why was the book on a diet? It had too many extra pages.
- Why do authors always carry a watch? To keep track of the times new roman.
- Why did the sentence go to jail? It couldn’t complete its term.
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar.
- What did the pen say to the paper? “I’ve got the write stuff.”
- Why was the book so popular? It had a strong character.
- What’s a writer’s favorite type of weather? Cloudy with a chance of ideas.
- Why was the letter always in trouble? It couldn’t keep in line.
- Why did the book go on a vacation? It needed an escape from reality.
- Why did the writer go fishing? To catch some novel ideas.
- Why was the book such a good listener? It was all ears.
- Why don’t authors use glue? They always stick to their story.
- Why did the writer go to the jungle? To write a wild life story.
- Why did the book go to the casino? To turn the page on its luck.
- Why did the word break up with the letter? It wasn’t making any sense.
- Why did the writer go to the beach? To surf the pages of their novel.
- Why was the paper so smart? It always knew the answer sheet.
- What’s an author’s favorite type of dance? The manuscript.
- Why was the ink feeling sad? It was always left out of the pen.
- Why was the story so romantic? It had a happy ending.
- Why did the word break up with the sentence? It wasn’t making any sense.
- Why was the book always at the gym? It was working on its paperback.
- Why was the story so smart? It always had a point to make.
- Why did the writer go to the circus? To work on their juggling act.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite cocktail? The write Russian.
- Why did the novel join a band? It had a great story to tell.
- Why was the book so happy at the beach? It loved to surf the pages.
- Why was the letter always in trouble? It couldn’t keep its character.
- What’s a ghost writer’s favorite kind of drink? A spirited one.
- Why did the typewriter go to the party? To have a key role.
- What’s a writer’s favorite place to eat? At the table of contents.
- What do you call a snowman who’s also a writer? Frost Biter.
- Why did the book go to the amusement park? It wanted to go on a roller coaster of emotions.
- Why was the notebook feeling so lucky? It was filled with fortune cookies.
- Why did the writer go on a diet? To trim the fat from their prose.
- What’s an author’s favorite kind of pie? A plot pie.
- Why was the book always winning at poker? It knew when to fold ’em.
- What’s a writer’s favorite sea animal? The pen-guin.
- Why did the poet always carry a stopwatch? To keep track of time flies.
- Why did the sentence always win at chess? It always had the last word.
- What’s a writer’s favorite vegetable? Alphabet soup.
- Why was the story so tasty? It had all the right ingredients.
- Why did the writer become a baker? To knead the plot.
- Why was the writer so forgetful? He had too many thoughts to keep track.
- Why was the writer a good sailor? They knew how to navigate a story.
- Why did the book go to the opera? It wanted to hit the high notes.
- Why was the writer’s house so messy? They were lost in their pages.
- Why did the writer go to the zoo? To write a beast of a story.
- Why was the book always single? It was hard to read.
- Why did the writer become a gardener? They wanted to cultivate their thoughts.
- Why was the notebook so wise? It was filled with sage advice.
- Why did the writer go to the beach? They needed a sea change.
- Why did the writer become a carpenter? They loved to hammer out a story.
- Why was the book always cold? It had a chilling tale.
- Why did the word go to the doctor? It had a severe case of letteritis.
- Why was the writer a great cook? They knew how to stir up a story.
- Why did the writer become a pilot? To soar above the plot.
- Why was the book always late? It lost track of time.
- Why did the writer go to the gym? To tone their sentences.
- Why did the book go to the hospital? It had a bad case of titleitis.
- Why was the book always hungry? It had an appetite for words.
- Why did the writer go to the desert? They were in search of a storyline.
- Why was the notebook always calm? It had a lot of patience and pages.
- Why did the writer become a detective? They loved to unfold a mystery.
- Why was the book always happy? It had a lot of happy endings.
- Why did the writer go to the forest? To branch out their ideas.
- Why did the book go to the therapist? It had too many characters to handle.
- Why was the novel always stressed? It had too many twists and turns.
- Why did the word go to the party? To have a blast with its letters.
- Why was the book so mysterious? It had a lot of hidden chapters.
- Why did the writer become a musician? They loved to compose a song of words.
- Why was the book so proud? It had a spine of steel.
- Why did the sentence go to the cinema? To watch a reel of words.
- Why was the writer always ready for a battle? They had a pen, their mightiest sword.
- Why did the story go to the party? It wanted to have a blast with its characters.
- Why was the novel always first? It had a good lead.
- Why did the writer go to the jungle? To create a wild tale.
- Why was the book always late? It had too many pages to turn.
- Why did the writer become a tailor? To stitch the words together.
- Why was the notebook always at peace? It had a lot of blank pages.
- Why did the writer go to the farm? To harvest some ideas.
- Why was the letter always stressed? It had a lot of words to form.
- Why did the book go to the therapist? It had too many plots to handle.
- Why was the novel always quiet? It had a silent protagonist.
- Why did the writer go to the mountain? To peak at some ideas.
- Why was the book always at the top? It was a best seller.
- Why did the writer go to the sea? To dive into a sea of thoughts.
- Why was the letter always sad? It was not a part of the word.
- Why did the writer go to the forest? To hunt for some wild ideas.
- Why was the word always in the dark? It was a part of a mystery novel.
- Why did the writer go to the moon? To write a space opera.
- Why was the book always second? It was a sequel.