100 weightlifting jokes
- Why did the barbell apply for a job? Because it wanted to get a lift in its career.
- How does a weightlifter find their dog in the dark? He uses a dumb-bell!
- Why did the weightlifter bring a ladder to the gym? He heard the weights were getting higher.
- What do weightlifters use to freshen their breath? Weights-mints.
- Why was the dumbbell always the life of the party? It really knew how to raise the bar.
- How do weightlifters like their coffee? With heavy cream.
- Why don’t weightlifters ever tell secrets? Because they can’t keep anything light.
- Why did the weightlifter break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too clingy to the weights.
- Why did the weightlifter go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw weight.
- What do you call a weightlifter who also plays the piano? A musician with great scale.
- Why did the weightlifter bring a map to the gym? He got lost in the reps.
- Why don’t weightlifters play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding a barbell.
- Why was the weightlifter bad at football? He always wanted to bench.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite song? Anything with a heavy beat.
- Why don’t weightlifters make good chefs? They can’t handle light ingredients.
- Why did the weightlifter get in trouble in school? He couldn’t keep his lifts to himself.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because of all the angles.
- Why was the weightlifter good at chess? He always knew when to make the right move.
- Why don’t weightlifters make good comedians? Because they always struggle with the punch line.
- Why do weightlifters make good firefighters? They can easily carry heavy weights.
- Why are weightlifters bad at baseball? They always drop the ball, but never the weights.
- Why did the weightlifter become a gardener? He wanted to work on his deadlift.
- Why are weightlifters like magicians? They can make weights disappear.
- Why don’t weightlifters make good librarians? They are always raising the bar.
- Why did the weightlifter bring his barbell to the party? He wanted to pump up the jam.
- Why was the weightlifter bad at fishing? He kept lifting the rod too quickly.
- Why was the weightlifter bad at golf? His idea of a hole-in-one was a donut after a workout.
- Why did the weightlifter refuse to play poker? He didn’t want to deal with chips, only plates.
- Why was the weightlifter so good at baking? He was used to making heavy dough.
- Why was the weightlifter always getting in trouble at the zoo? He kept trying to bench the elephants.
- Why did the weightlifter join the circus? He wanted to show off his strongman routine.
- Why are weightlifters terrible at knitting? Their idea of purling is a gym exercise.
- Why do weightlifters always carry a pen and paper? To keep track of their reps.
- Why do weightlifters never lose at tug-of-war? They know how to pull their own weight.
- Why are weightlifters always ready for winter? They love layering on the weights.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite holiday? Liftmas.
- Why did the weightlifter bring a compass to the gym? He didn’t want to lose his bearings during the spin class.
- Why did the weightlifter become a baker? He was great at rolling the dough.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite story? One with a lot of lift-erature.
- Why did the weightlifter get kicked out of the library? Because he dropped the weights but never the books.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the beach? He wanted to lift some sea-weights.
- Why don’t weightlifters make good poets? They’re too literal about raising the bar.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite type of vehicle? Anything with a lift kit.
- Why did the weightlifter become a mechanic? He was great with heavy machinery.
- Why did the weightlifter get in trouble at work? He couldn’t handle the light paperwork.
- Why don’t weightlifters make good DJs? They always skip the light tracks.
- Why was the weightlifter a great architect? He knew a lot about support and structure.
- Why did the weightlifter take up painting? He wanted to learn about heavy textures.
- Why was the weightlifter bad at basketball? He always aimed for the weight, not the hoop.
- Why did the weightlifter fail as a realtor? He couldn’t handle light properties.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the ballet? He heard about the lifts in Swan Lake.
- Why are weightlifters bad at hide and seek? They can never lighten up.
- Why do weightlifters make terrible bakers? They’re always mixing up their dough with protein powder.
- Why did the weightlifter get kicked out of the library? He was pumping up the volume too much.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the opera? He wanted to see “The Weighted Flute”.
- Why was the weightlifter always chosen for team projects? He was known for pulling his weight.
- Why do weightlifters always carry a notebook? To keep track of their heavy thoughts.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite planet? Jupiter, because it’s the heaviest.
- Why did the weightlifter become a wine connoisseur? He had a taste for heavy-bodied reds.
- Why was the weightlifter so good at debating? He could always make a strong argument.
- Why did the weightlifter start studying philosophy? He wanted to lift his mind.
- Why are weightlifters never good at dancing? They always try to lift their partners, not lead them.
- Why did the weightlifter get a pet elephant? He needed something heavier to squat with.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite type of weather? Heavy rain.
- Why did the weightlifter start studying geology? He wanted to learn about heavy minerals.
- Why did the weightlifter become an astronomer? He wanted to lift his telescope.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the circus? He wanted to join the heavy-lifters.
- Why did the weightlifter get a job at the construction site? He liked working with heavy machinery.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite chess piece? The rook, because it moves straight and doesn’t waver.
- Why did the weightlifter refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to hold anything lighter than a barbell.
- Why did the weightlifter start a band? He liked playing heavy metal.
- Why do weightlifters never lose at wrestling? They’re always lifting their opponents.
- Why did the weightlifter become a delivery man? He could handle heavy packages.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite animal? An elephant, because it’s the heaviest.
- Why did the weightlifter become a mathematician? He was good at multiplying his gains.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the bakery? He wanted to get some heavy cream puffs.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite type of bread? Anything with lots of grains.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the amusement park? He wanted to ride the weight-drop.
- Why are weightlifters bad at origami? They always fold under pressure.
- Why did the weightlifter join the navy? He wanted to lift anchors.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite ice cream flavor? Rocky road, because it’s a hard scoop.
- Why did the weightlifter become a sculptor? He was used to carving his body.
- Why did the weightlifter go to space? He wanted to lift in zero gravity.
- Why did the weightlifter become a farmer? He enjoyed lifting bales of hay.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite part of a song? The heavy drop.
- Why did the weightlifter become an accountant? He liked dealing with heavy figures.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the music festival? He was a fan of heavy metal.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite part of a castle? The drawbridge, because it’s heavy to lift.
- Why did the weightlifter become a zookeeper? He liked lifting the heavy feed bags.
- Why was the weightlifter always the first to arrive at parties? He wanted to lift the mood.
- Why did the weightlifter become a musician? He liked the heavy beat.
- Why did the weightlifter become a computer programmer? He heard there’s a lot of heavy coding.
- Why did the weightlifter become a furniture mover? He was used to carrying heavy loads.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the cheese shop? He was looking for the heaviest Gouda.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite book? Anything with heavy content.
- Why did the weightlifter become a jeweler? He liked lifting heavy gems.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite drink? A weighty latte.
- Why did the weightlifter become a geologist? He wanted to lift heavy rocks.
- Why did the weightlifter go to the museum? He heard they had a heavy art collection.
- What’s a weightlifter’s favorite part of a meal? The heavy courses.