149 van gogh jokes

  1. Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he didn’t have an ear for music!
  2. Why was Van Gogh’s painting hanging in the bakery? Because it was a still loaf!
  3. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite exercise? Ear-obic!
  4. Why did Van Gogh go to the psychiatrist? He couldn’t hear himself think!
  5. How does Van Gogh make a scrambled egg? First, he beats it, then he paints it.
  6. What does Van Gogh do when his painting gets cold? He puts on another coat!
  7. How does Van Gogh handle negative reviews? He turns a deaf ear!
  8. Why did Van Gogh stop playing hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always framed!
  9. What does Van Gogh say at parties? I’m all ears!
  10. Why was Van Gogh always calm? Because he knew how to compose himself!
  11. Why did Van Gogh stop using GPS? It always said, “Recalculating route – you’ve Gogh-ne off course!”
  12. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite color? Yell-oh!
  13. Why did Van Gogh never play cards? He was afraid of dealing with suits!
  14. Why was Van Gogh always prepared for a rainy day? Because he was good at painting stormy skies!
  15. Why was Van Gogh so humble? He couldn’t stand the sound of bragging!
  16. What is Van Gogh’s favorite fruit? Ear-ange!
  17. Why did Van Gogh never play basketball? He couldn’t handle the courts!
  18. How does Van Gogh like his steak? Well-done… like his paintings!
  19. Why did Van Gogh get kicked out of the library? He was too loud in the hush-room!
  20. What was Van Gogh’s favorite vegetable? Ear-ugula!
  21. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite beverage? Can-van soda!
  22. How does Van Gogh cut his pizza? With little Caesars!
  23. What was Van Gogh’s secret to success? He always painted a bright picture!
  24. Why couldn’t Van Gogh be a singer? He didn’t have the right pitch!
  25. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite brand of shoes? Van-s Gogh!
  26. What does Van Gogh say to his mirror? I’ve got my eye on you!
  27. Why did Van Gogh never play golf? He couldn’t stand teeing off!
  28. How does Van Gogh take his coffee? A’la Ear-t!
  29. Why was Van Gogh bad at baseball? He was always framing the ball!
  30. Why was Van Gogh a great chef? He made every dish a work of art!
  31. Why did Van Gogh always carry a light bulb? He wanted to paint the town lit!
  32. What is Van Gogh’s least favorite part of the house? The hearth, it’s too ear-ey!
  33. Why did Van Gogh become an artist? Because he didn’t want a desk job!
  34. How does Van Gogh sign his letters? Ear-nestly!
  35. Why did Van Gogh never become a pirate? He had trouble with the earring!
  36. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever write a book? He preferred to draw conclusions!
  37. How did Van Gogh feel when he completed a painting? Like he’d created a masterpiece!
  38. Why was Van Gogh always ready for bed? He loved to draw the curtains!
  39. Why did Van Gogh become an impressionist? Because he wanted to make an impression!
  40. What did Van Gogh say to the critic? Can’t ear you!
  41. Why didn’t Van Gogh become a detective? He wasn’t good at sketching suspects!
  42. Why did Van Gogh always win at Tic-Tac-Toe? Because of his cross-hatching skills!
  43. Why did Van Gogh always carry a sketch pad? He didn’t want to miss a stroke!
  44. Why did Van Gogh never play poker? He couldn’t handle the chips!
  45. How did Van Gogh fix a leaky faucet? With brush strokes!
  46. What does Van Gogh use to keep his pants up? A palette belt!
  47. Why was Van Gogh bad at chess? He couldn’t control his knights!
  48. Why did Van Gogh become an artist? He wanted to make a good impression!
  49. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever get lost? He always followed the strokes!
  50. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite type of dog? Ear-dale terrier!
  51. Why didn’t Van Gogh become a sculptor? He couldn’t handle the chiseling!
  52. What does Van Gogh use to unlock his door? A key-tching!
  53. Why did Van Gogh always carry a brush? To brush off the critics!
  54. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite cut of meat? A fillet of sole!
  55. Why did Van Gogh refuse to be a sailor? He didn’t want to mess with the seascapes!
  56. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite hairstyle? The brush cut!
  57. Why did Van Gogh never become a teacher? He couldn’t stick to the lesson plan!
  58. Why was Van Gogh a terrible magician? He always revealed his art tricks!
  59. How does Van Gogh make his tea? He steeps it in creativity!
  60. What was Van Gogh’s favorite day of the week? Sun-day!
  61. Why did Van Gogh always get the perfect Christmas tree? He was great at sketching pines!
  62. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever run a marathon? He didn’t want to sprint and smear his paint!
  63. How does Van Gogh like his bread? Toasted to a perfect hue!
  64. Why was Van Gogh a bad baker? He was always mixing up the ingredients!
  65. Why did Van Gogh refuse to use a calculator? He preferred to count his brush strokes!
  66. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite type of pasta? Spaghett-easel!
  67. Why did Van Gogh always carry an umbrella? He liked to paint in the rain!
  68. Why did Van Gogh never play pool? He wasn’t good at cue-tching!
  69. Why did Van Gogh go to the optometrist? He was having trouble with visual arts!
  70. How does Van Gogh choose his outfits? He sketches them first!
  71. Why was Van Gogh a bad driver? He was always stopping to paint the scenery!
  72. Why did Van Gogh never catch a cold? He always covered his canvas!
  73. What was Van Gogh’s favorite computer program? Microsoft Paint!
  74. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play darts? He didn’t like the pointillism!
  75. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite dance? The foxtrot… he loved painting foxes!
  76. Why did Van Gogh never become a barber? He always cut too much off the top!
  77. Why was Van Gogh a terrible fisherman? He was always sketching the fish!
  78. Why did Van Gogh avoid the kitchen? Too many still lifes!
  79. Why did Van Goghnever become a florist? He would only paint the flowers, not sell them!
  80. Why did Van Gogh never play video games? He didn’t like pixel art!
  81. What did Van Gogh call his self-portrait? Ear-replaceable!
  82. Why did Van Gogh never join the army? He couldn’t handle the brush with danger!
  83. Why did Van Gogh never become a gardener? He was always pruning the bushes too creatively!
  84. Why did Van Gogh refuse to become a butcher? He didn’t like to meat his subjects!
  85. Why did Van Gogh never get married? He couldn’t picture it!
  86. Why did Van Gogh never become a fish? He didn’t want to scale down his art!
  87. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever take a selfie? He preferred self-portraits!
  88. Why didn’t Van Gogh become a writer? He couldn’t figure out the plot!
  89. What was Van Gogh’s favorite type of pie? Artichoke, because he loved art-i-chokes!
  90. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play football? He couldn’t handle the art of the game!
  91. Why did Van Gogh always sit in the corner at parties? He wanted to canvas the room!
  92. Why was Van Gogh bad at tennis? He was always drawing the line!
  93. What was Van Gogh’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because he loved to draw shapes!
  94. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever have a garage sale? He couldn’t part with his masterpieces!
  95. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite type of cheese? Gorgonzola, because it sounds like “Gogh-gonzola”!
  96. Why did Van Gogh never become a photographer? He couldn’t handle the flash!
  97. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play ice hockey? He was afraid to break the ice!
  98. Why didn’t Van Gogh become a superhero? He couldn’t handle the cape!
  99. Why did Van Gogh never become a chef? He couldn’t handle the heat in the kitchen!
  100. Why did Van Gogh never join a choir? He couldn’t find the right key!
  101. What does Van Gogh say to his paintings when he’s leaving? “I Gogh-tta go now!”
  102. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever climb a mountain? He was afraid he’d fall for the landscape!
  103. Why did Van Gogh never make a good spy? He was too conspicuous with his easel!
  104. Why did Van Gogh never join a band? He couldn’t stand the sound checks!
  105. What was Van Gogh’s favorite board game? Art-iculate!
  106. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play soccer? He wasn’t good at scoring!
  107. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a musician? He couldn’t find the right tone!
  108. What’s Van Gogh’s favorite animal? A zeb-art!
  109. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a tailor? He was too attached to his canvas!
  110. Why did Van Gogh never play on a seesaw? He preferred swings in mood!
  111. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a comedian? He couldn’t handle the punch lines!
  112. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever get a pet? He couldn’t choose between a cat and a palette!
  113. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play cricket? He couldn’t handle the stroke play!
  114. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever host a talk show? He preferred to let his art do the talking!
  115. What did Van Gogh say to his palette? “I’ve got a hue crush on you!”
  116. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go skiing? He didn’t like the downhill part!
  117. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a jeweler? He couldn’t handle the carats!
  118. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play snooker? He preferred to stick to the canvas!
  119. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever join a circus? He couldn’t juggle his art and entertainment!
  120. What was Van Gogh’s favorite type of music? Anything but earworms!
  121. Why did Van Gogh never go to space? He couldn’t leave his art behind!
  122. What did Van Gogh say to his paintbrush? “You always brush me off!”
  123. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a mailman? He couldn’t handle the delivery!
  124. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play table tennis? He couldn’t handle the backspin!
  125. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go diving? He was afraid of the deep blue sea!
  126. What did Van Gogh say when he finished a painting? “Well, that’s a wrap!”
  127. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a sailor? He couldn’t handle the waves!
  128. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go bungee jumping? He couldn’t handle the bounce back!
  129. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever play rugby? He couldn’t handle the scrums!
  130. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go surfing? He couldn’t ride the waves!
  131. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a pilot? He was afraid of the skies!
  132. What did Van Gogh say when he met a copycat painter? “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but please, create your own strokes!”
  133. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go camping? He didn’t like to paint outdoors!
  134. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever join a gym? He couldn’t handle the weight!
  135. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a race car driver? He couldn’t handle the speed!
  136. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go zip lining? He couldn’t handle the zip!
  137. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a swimmer? He didn’t want to make a splash!
  138. What did Van Gogh say when he lost his paintbrush? “I can’t believe I lost my brush with destiny!”
  139. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go rock climbing? He couldn’t handle the heights!
  140. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a hairdresser? He couldn’t handle the fringe!
  141. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go skydiving? He couldn’t handle the free fall!
  142. What did Van Gogh say when he spilled his paint? “I’ve made an art-ful mess!”
  143. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go sailing? He was afraid of the canvas sail!
  144. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a banker? He couldn’t handle the checks!
  145. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever join a marching band? He couldn’t keep the beat!
  146. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever become a rollerblader? He couldn’t handle the skates!
  147. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go ice skating? He didn’t want to slip up!
  148. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever join a choir? He couldn’t hold a tune!
  149. Why didn’t Van Gogh ever go to a karaoke bar? He couldn’t handle the mic!

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