150 retail jokes
- Why don’t cashiers do well in school? Because they can’t resist checking out.
- How does a retail worker become a gardener? One plant at a time.
- Why was the belt arrested at the clothing store? It was holding up a pair of jeans.
- Why did the grocery store clerk break up with the cart? It was always pushing her around.
- Why don’t secrets work in a retail store? Too many teller.
- What do you call an angry sales clerk? A cross-sell-er.
- Why don’t retail stores play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always in store.
- Why did the item at the checkout blush? Because it saw the credit card strip.
- Why was the barcode a great musician? Because it always knew how to scan.
- Why was the broom late for work at the retail store? Because it over swept!
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener. Sold in stores anyway!
- Why did the retail store go on a diet? It had too many extra-large sizes.
- How do you know retail stores are good listeners? They always keep an ear out for a bargain.
- Why do retail workers love coffee breaks? Because they’re really good at mugging off.
- What’s a retail worker’s favorite type of music? Sale-ing tunes.
- Why was the shopping bag the best detective? Because it was great at holding all the goods.
- What’s a retail worker’s favorite animal? Sale-mon.
- Why do shop assistants stand for a long time? Because they can’t run out of store.
- Why did the shoe store go out of business? Too many loafers.
- Why was the shirt always jealous in the clothing store? It couldn’t keep its buttons on.
- How do retail workers exercise? They do price-lifts.
- Why don’t retail stores ever play soccer? They always get a boot out of it.
- What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I’ll hang around here!
- Why don’t retail stores make good comedians? Their jokes always come at a price.
- What do you call a retail worker with a bad cold? Under the whether.
- How does a retail store say goodbye? “Buy Buy!”
- Why was the barcode feeling blue? It was tired of being scanned all the time.
- Why did the dress get an award? Because it was best in pleat.
- Why did the retail clerk always carry a pencil? Because she wanted to make a good point.
- Why did the store manager refuse to play cards with jungle cats? He was afraid of cheetahs.
- How did the retail worker win the race? He took a short checkout.
- Why don’t retail stores play baseball? Too many windows.
- Why did the socks get thrown out of the store? They were a pair of sneak-ers.
- Why did the sales clerk go to jail? He took a sweater off the rack.
- Why was the shirt always in trouble? It was always buttoning in.
- What do you call a quiet retail worker? A whisper-seller.
- Why was the hat always the last one in the store? It always wanted to cap off the day.
- How do you catch a unique product at a retail store? Unique up on it!
- Why do retail workers hate working with denim? It’s always too riveting.
- Why did the baker become a retail worker? He was a pro at rolling in the dough.
- Why did the cashier break up with the coin? He didn’t make much cents.
- Why did the tie break up with the shirt? It felt too tied down.
- What’s a retail worker’s favorite day? Markdown Monday.
- Why was the pen the best employee? It was always on point.
- Why did the umbrella go to the retail store? It wanted to be a cover star.
- Why don’t retail stores play hide and seek? Good luck hiding when you’re always in store.
- Why did the clothes hanger go to therapy? It couldn’t deal with being pushed around.
- Why did the retail clerk become a boxer? He had a real knack for boxing things up.
- How does a retail worker party? By raising the bar(code).
- Why did the shirt get an award? It always had the best sleeve reviews.
- Why was the retail store always relaxed? It knew how to keep things in check-out.
- Why was the retail store the best dancer? It had all the right moves on the sales floor.
- Why don’t retail workers like tennis? The service is too fast.
- Why was the retail worker always at the gym? He wanted to be fit for sale.
- Why did the pants never lose at poker? It always had a couple of aces up its sleeve.
- Why do retail workers never play chess? They’re always getting checked.
- Why did the shirt never lose at hide and seek? It always knew where to button up.
- Why don’t retail workers make good detectives? They always give things away.
- Why was the shopping cart a terrible roommate? It was always loaded with junk.
- Why was the retail store always cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why did the retail worker become a gardener? She had a green thumb for sales.
- Why was the clothing rack so popular? It was always hanging out with cool jackets.
- Why did the retail worker become a farmer? He wanted to grow his sales.
- Why was the store always the best at hide and seek? It always kept things on the shelf.
- Why was the coupon a great comedian? It always cut prices in half.
- Why don’t retail workers play football? Too much running back and forth.
- Why did the clothing store get an award? It always dressed to impress.
- Why was the pencil the worst retail worker? It was always getting lead on.
- Why did the belt go to jail? It was holding up a pair of pants.
- Why did the retail worker go to the bakery? He wanted to make more dough.
- Why was the cashier a great actor? She always changed her role.
- Why was the sweater always warm? It had a lot of woolly good ideas.
- Why did the retail store always win at chess? It knew all the right moves.
- Why was the coat always in charge? It was always buttoning in.
- Why did the shirt go to the party? It wanted to have a good time.
- Why was the barcode always tired? It was always up all night scanning.
- Why did the retail worker get a medal? She was a champion at making sales.
- Why did the retail worker become a gardener? He was really good at growing interest.
- Why was the shopping cart a good singer? It had a lot of metal.
- Why did the clothing store always win at poker? It knew when to fold.
- Why was the shopping bag a great comedian? It was always packed with good jokes.
- Why don’t retail storesplay chess? They don’t like the idea of check-mates.
- Why was the suit always on time? It never wanted to be pressed for time.
- Why did the shirt go to therapy? It felt a bit too pressed.
- Why was the clothing rack so funny? It always had people in stitches.
- Why did the jeans go to the party? They felt a little distressed.
- Why was the shopping bag a great artist? It always carried the essentials.
- Why did the retail worker become a baker? He always knew how to roll up the dough.
- Why did the retail worker get promoted? She knew how to dress for success.
- Why was the barcode so popular? Everyone wanted to check it out.
- Why did the coupon go to the party? It always knew how to cut loose.
- Why was the price tag the best comedian? It always knew how to get a laugh at a discount.
- Why did the retail worker go on a diet? He wanted to reduce his waist size.
- Why did the retail store always lose at poker? It always showed its hand.
- Why don’t retail workers play cricket? It’s too much running between sales.
- Why did the shoe get promoted? It was a good fit for the job.
- Why did the retail worker become a chef? He knew how to make a good sale-ad.
- Why was the grocery cart always in trouble? It was always pushing things around.
- Why did the dress go to the psychiatrist? It had too many hang-ups.
- Why was the barcode always the life of the party? It always got scanned first.
- Why was the retail store a great painter? It always had a good sale.
- Why did the retail worker get a map? He wanted to find the best route to success.
- Why was the hanger always in trouble? It was always left hanging.
- Why did the shoes go to the party? They wanted to have a ball.
- Why was the clothing rack always in shape? It always ran a tight ship.
- Why did the retail worker go to the beach? He wanted to make a sand sale.
- Why did the clothes go to the gym? They wanted to get in shape for the summer sale.
- Why was the barcode always the star of the show? It always got the most scans.
- Why did the retail worker go to the doctor? He had a case of sale-itis.
- Why did the retail store always win at poker? It always had a good deal.
- Why was the coat hanger so popular? It was always hanging out with the cool crowd.
- Why did the retail worker go to the circus? He wanted to learn to juggle sales.
- Why did the shirt go to the concert? It wanted to rock the sales floor.
- Why did the retail worker go to the forest? He wanted to branch out his sales.
- Why was the clothing rack always clean? It never had any hang-ups.
- Why did the clothes go to the party? They were the life of the soiree.
- Why was the shopping cart a great musician? It always knew how to carry a tune.
- Why was the retail store a great writer? It always had a good story to tell.
- Why did the retail worker go to the theater? He wanted to stage a sale.
- Why was the clothing rack so athletic? It always ran the extra mile.
- Why did the retail worker go to the museum? He wanted to get cultured in sales.
- Why was the shirt always the best at debates? It always had a point to button.
- Why did the retail worker go to the music festival? He wanted to hit a high note in sales.
- Why was the retail store always the best at marathons? It always stayed the course.
- Why did the retail worker go to the zoo? He wanted to learn to sell like a beast.
- Why was the shopping bag always in fashion? It always carried the latest trends.
- Why did the retail worker go to the fair? He wanted to take a ride on the sales wheel.
- Why did the retail store always win at baseball? It always had a good pitch.
- Why was the clothing rack a great chef? It always knew how to whip up a good look.
- Why did the retail worker go to the amusement park? He wanted to roll out the sales.
- Why was the hanger always the most balanced? It always knew how to hang in there.
- Why did the retail worker go to the movie theater? He wanted to screen the best sales.
- Why was the shopping bag always so musical? It always knew how to carry a beat.
- Why did the retail worker go to the library? He wanted to book the best sales.
- Why was the clothing rack always the best sailor? It always knew how to ride the wave of sales.
- Why did the retail worker go to the race track? He wanted to speed up the sales.
- Why was the shopping cart always the best gymnast? It always knew how to cartwheel.
- Why did the retail worker go to the boxing match? He wanted to knockout sales.
- Why was the hanger always the best at yoga? It always knew how to stay centered.
- Why did the retail worker go to the cooking class? He wanted to spice up sales.
- Why was the shopping bag always the best at math? It always added up the best deals.
- Why did the retail worker go to the magic show? He wanted to pull sales out of a hat.
- Why was the shopping cart always the best dancer? It always knew how to roll with the rhythm.
- Why did the retail worker go to the casino? He wanted to bet on the best sales.
- Why was the hanger always the best at chess? It always stayed one move ahead.
- Why did the retail worker go to the mountain? He wanted to peak the sales.
- Why was the shopping bag always the best at karaoke? It always carried the melody.
- Why did the retail worker go to the concert? He wanted to tune in to the best sales.
- Why was the shopping cart always the best at comedy? It always knew how to push the right buttons.
- Why did the retail worker go to the comedy club? He wanted to have the last laugh on sales.