75 pinocchio jokes
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio use GPS? Because every time he lies, he has to recalculate his route!
- Why does Pinocchio always win at poker? Because he’s a natural at bluffing with a straight face!
- Why did Pinocchio stop drinking coffee? It was making him a little too wooden!
- What do you call Pinocchio when he ignores his conscience? In-de-nile!
- What does Pinocchio do before bed? He logs off!
- Why did Pinocchio get kicked out of the football team? He kept getting wood penalties!
- What did Pinocchio say to his wooden leg? Stop barking!
- Why is Pinocchio a good fireman? Because he always carries his own kindling!
- What do you call Pinocchio on a diet? Slim Timber!
- Why was Pinocchio always late for school? He got caught in a knot rush!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite exercise? Lying leg curls!
- Why was Pinocchio bad at hide and seek? He always got spotted when he lied!
- What is Pinocchio’s favorite type of music? Poplar music!
- Why did Pinocchio become a secret agent? He’s a real lie detector!
- Why does Pinocchio never get lost in the forest? He always feels right at home!
- What does Pinocchio use to take notes? A pencil because it’s as close to a relative as he can get!
- Why did Pinocchio join the orchestra? He always had a knack for wooden instruments!
- What do you call Pinocchio when he’s been in the rain too long? Soggy loggy!
- What’s Pinocchio’s least favorite song? “Splish Splash, I Was Taking a Bath” – he’s afraid of getting waterlogged!
- Why is Pinocchio always calm? Because he doesn’t have a single nerve in his body!
- What is Pinocchio’s favorite day of the week? Wood-nesday!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio wear a watch? He can’t stand the tick-tock sound; it reminds him of a woodpecker!
- What did Pinocchio say at the lumberyard? “It’s like a family reunion!”
- Why is Pinocchio the best chess player? He always knows when you’re making a false move!
- Why did Pinocchio become a baseball player? He was a natural at getting to the base on a pine!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio talk in his sleep? He doesn’t want to start a fire!
- Why did Pinocchio refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? He was afraid of cheetahs!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite type of cheese? String cheese, because it reminds him of puppet strings!
- Why does Pinocchio love winter? He’s less likely to catch fire!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio like saunas? Too much steam warps his wood!
- Why does Pinocchio always carry a map? He’s afraid of getting board!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite vegetable? Eggplant – it’s the closest thing to a nose he’s seen on a plant!
- Why did Pinocchio make a terrible detective? Every time he had a hunch, his nose gave it away!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite sport? Bowling – he loves the sound of rolling wood!
- Why did Pinocchio never take up swimming? He was afraid of getting termites!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio like to play Jenga? It reminds him too much of surgery!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite fruit? Cherry – it’s a wood he can actually eat!
- Why does Pinocchio always have spare change? Because his pockets are always full of sawdust!
- Why was Pinocchio nervous at the bakery? He was afraid they’d use him for toothpicks!
- Why does Pinocchio avoid the desert? He’s afraid of getting sand in his joints!
- Why did Pinocchio go to the music festival? He heard they were crowd surfing, and he wanted to try board surfing!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite pastime? Whittling – he considers it self-improvement!
- Why is Pinocchio bad at playing hide and seek in the forest? He stands out like a sore thumb!
- Why did Pinocchio fail at his diet? He couldn’t stick to whole grains!
- Why did Pinocchio join the orchestra? He was a natural at the woodwinds!
- What do you call Pinocchio when he’s telling the truth? On the straight and narrow!
- Why is Pinocchio bad at ballet? He’s always off balance due to his growing nose!
- Why did Pinocchio never get a sun tan? He always ended up with a sunburn!
- What does Pinocchio wear to a formal event? A tie with wood grain pattern!
- Why did Pinocchio become a librarian? He felt at home among the books’ wooden shelves!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio go camping? He’s afraid of campfires!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite TV show? “Woodworking with the Stars!”
- Why did Pinocchio make a terrible soccer player? He always got a splinter when he tried to head the ball!
- Why does Pinocchio never get into a boxing ring? He’s afraid of getting sandpapered!
- Why did Pinocchio become a politician? He was already good at stretching the truth!
- What do you call Pinocchio when he’s in a bad mood? A stick in the mud!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio work in an office? He can’t stand paperclips; they remind him of termites!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite type of car? A Woody Wagon!
- Why did Pinocchio become a chef? He was already good at chopping wood!
- Why did Pinocchio join the circus? He heard they needed a new human cannonball and thought he’d have a good shot!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio like to use umbrellas? The sound of rain on the fabric reminds him too much of woodpeckers!
- What does Pinocchio call a lie that’s also a truth? A veneer!
- Why did Pinocchio make a terrible gardener? He was afraid of the hedge trimmer!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite game? Truth or Dare – he always knows when you’re bluffing!
- Why did Pinocchio become an actor? He was already a drama log!
- Why did Pinocchio become a poet? Because he knows every log tells a story!
- Why doesn’t Pinocchio like plastic surgery? He’s afraid they’ll use him for spare parts!
- Why did Pinocchio never play rugby? He was afraid of getting tackled and chipping a board!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite snack? Pretzel sticks – they remind him of his own limbs!
- Why is Pinocchio never allowed in a china shop? Because he’s a bull in a china shop!
- Why does Pinocchio love Halloween? He’s already got the perfect costume – a scarecrow!
- What does Pinocchio use to fix his broken parts? Wood glue, of course!
- Why is Pinocchio a good fisherman? Because he’s an excellent baiter, thanks to his growing nose!
- What’s Pinocchio’s favorite dance? The lumberjack jig!
- Why did Pinocchio become a baker? He’s great at rolling dough, and he never gets splinters!