149 paramedic jokes

  1. Why did the paramedic carry a red pen? In case he had to draw blood.
  2. What did the paramedic say to the coffee? Don’t worry, I’ll keep you grounded!
  3. Why don’t paramedics play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when the siren goes off.
  4. What do you call a paramedic who can play the piano? An ambulance chaser with good keys!
  5. Why was the paramedic always calm? Because he knew he could always pulse himself together!
  6. Why did the paramedic bring a ladder to work? He wanted to take his career to new heights!
  7. What’s a paramedic’s favorite type of math? CPR-algebra!
  8. Why do paramedics carry band-aids? Because they always know how to stick around.
  9. Why did the paramedic take a nap? He needed a rest-cue!
  10. What’s a paramedic’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
  11. Why don’t paramedics like to play cards? Because they’re afraid of dealing with hearts.
  12. Why was the sandwich a good paramedic? Because it always knew how to wrap things up.
  13. What’s a paramedic’s favorite snack? Lifesavers.
  14. Why did the paramedic go to art school? He wanted to master the art of drawing blood.
  15. Why are paramedics great at parties? Because they know how to pump up the jam.
  16. Why did the paramedic become a chef? He was excellent at pressure cooking.
  17. Why did the book go to paramedic school? It wanted to become a manual defibrillator!
  18. Why was the paramedic a good gardener? He was great at resuscitating plants.
  19. Why do paramedics love coffee? It’s the first step to reviving anyone!
  20. How does a paramedic like to relax? By taking a breathalyzer.
  21. Why did the vampire become a paramedic? He was good at drawing blood.
  22. Why are paramedics good at soccer? Because they know how to keep their pulse on the ball.
  23. Why did the paramedic get a ticket? He tried to jump-start his car with a defibrillator.
  24. What does a paramedic call his wife? His permanent patient!
  25. What do you call a paramedic who doesn’t take his job seriously? A pulse-less entity!
  26. Why are paramedics great dancers? They’re always ready to jump-start the party.
  27. Why do paramedics love gardening? Because they know how to prevent plant arrest!
  28. What’s a paramedic’s favorite exercise? Cardio!
  29. Why don’t paramedics have time for TV? They’re always on call.
  30. How do paramedics stay cool? They just chill in the ambulance.
  31. Why are paramedics good at chess? They always know how to checkmate.
  32. What did the paramedic say to the battery? Don’t worry, I’ll give you a jump!
  33. What’s a paramedic’s favorite place to shop? The BP (Blood Pressure) station.
  34. Why do paramedics go to concerts? They love the sound of beating hearts.
  35. Why do paramedics always carry a map? In case they have to trace the veins.
  36. How do paramedics cheer each other up? They give a shot of happiness!
  37. Why do paramedics like sunsets? Because it’s the golden hour.
  38. What do paramedics call their vans? The Wambulance!
  39. Why do paramedics love spaghetti? It reminds them of veins.
  40. Why did the paramedic go to the bakery? He needed to resuscitate some dough!
  41. What’s a paramedic’s favorite movie? “Rescue Dawn.”
  42. Why do paramedics love roller coasters? They get a thrill from the ups and downs.
  43. Why did the paramedic carry a hammer? He wanted to nail the diagnosis.
  44. Why did the paramedic become a comedian? He wanted to heal with laughter.
  45. What’s a paramedic’s favorite type of bread? Anything that’s whole grain!
  46. Why do paramedics love clocks? They’re always monitoring pulses.
  47. What’s a paramedic’s favorite part of a joke? The heart of it!
  48. Why was the egg a great paramedic? It always knew how to crack up a patient.
  49. Why do paramedics hate stairs? They prefer elevators because they’re always on the up and up.
  50. What’s a paramedic’s favorite drink? Anything that’s on the rocks!
  51. What do paramedics and DJs have in common? They both drop the beat.
  52. Why was the paramedic a good cook? He always knew how to heat things up.
  53. What do you call a paramedic who likes to knit? The Stitcher.
  54. Why did the paramedic go to the amusement park? He wanted to get his adrenaline going.
  55. What do paramedics call a fashion emergency? A code blue jean!
  56. Why did the paramedic bring a compass to work? He didn’t want to lose his patients.
  57. Why do paramedics never get cold? They always have a warm heart.
  58. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the paramedic salad-dressing!
  59. What’s a paramedic’s favorite type of cookie? An O-Positive!
  60. Why did the paramedic join the circus? He was a master of juggling tasks.
  61. Why did the paramedic never get lost? He knew all the arteries of the city.
  62. How do paramedics prepare for a snowball fight? They get their ice packs ready!
  63. What did the paramedic say to the soda can? “You look crushed, let me help!”
  64. Why are paramedics good at basketball? They always get to the heart of the net.
  65. Why did the paramedic go to a rock concert? He wanted to feel the bass in his chest!
  66. What’s a paramedic’s favorite type of candy? Lifesavers, of course!
  67. Why did the paramedic bring a telescope to work? He wanted to see the big picture.
  68. Why are paramedics like alarm clocks? They know how to wake people up!
  69. What do you call a paramedic who loves to barbecue? A grill-aid expert!
  70. Why do paramedics love car racing? They always keep track of the pulse.
  71. What did the paramedic say to the sandwich? “You’re all wrapped up!”
  72. What’s a paramedic’s favorite type of road? One with a lot of veins.
  73. Why are paramedics good at yoga? They’re experts at circulation!
  74. Why did the paramedic join the choir? He wanted to hit the high notes.
  75. Why did the paramedic always bring a lightbulb to work? In case someone needed a bright idea!
  76. Why was the muffin a good paramedic? It knew how to keep things toasty.
  77. Why was the paramedic good at fishing? He knew how to hook the big ones.
  78. Why did the paramedic go to the tailor? His patience was wearing thin.
  79. Why was the paramedic a great architect? He knew all about structures and supports. 80.What’s a paramedic’s favorite party game? Operation!
  80. Why did the paramedic always carry a notebook? He wanted to record heartbeats.
  81. Why did the paramedic become a librarian? He loved circulation!
  82. Why do paramedics love the beach? They love the waveforms!
  83. Why did the paramedic become a mechanic? He was good at fixing pumps!
  84. Why do paramedics love coffee? They need their daily dose of adrenaline!
  85. Why are paramedics good at bowling? They always strike when needed.
  86. What do you call a paramedic who plays chess? An ambulance chaser with good moves!
  87. Why did the paramedic become a football coach? He knows how to tackle emergencies!
  88. Why do paramedics love marathons? They get to see the runners’ pulses race.
  89. Why did the paramedic join a rock band? He wanted to feel the beat!
  90. Why was the flashlight a great paramedic? It always knew how to lighten the mood.
  91. What’s a paramedic’s favorite animal? The heart-beetle!
  92. Why did the paramedic love to play baseball? He was always ready to catch!
  93. Why was the paramedic a great chef? He knew all about pressure!
  94. Why do paramedics love crossword puzzles? They’re good at finding vital clues!
  95. Why did the paramedic join the circus? He was great at juggling priorities!
  96. Why did the paramedic go to the gym? He was working on his patient lifting skills!
  97. What’s a paramedic’s favorite cake? Anything with a lot of layers!
  98. Why did the paramedic become a magician? He had the magic touch!
  99. Why did the paramedic love thunderstorms? They got his heart racing.
  100. Why did the paramedic bring a clock to work? To take the pulse of time.
  101. Why did the paramedic become a meteorologist? He loved checking the pressure!
  102. Why did the paramedic always carry a calculator? He was good at adding pressure!
  103. Why do paramedics love Halloween? They get to play doctors for real!
  104. Why did the paramedic go to the zoo? He was checking the wildlife for any pulse changes!
  105. Why did the paramedic love classical music? It had the best compositions.
  106. Why did the paramedic become a pirate? He had a knack for finding the treasure in the chest!
  107. What’s a paramedic’s favorite ice cream flavor? Lifesaver lemon!
  108. Why do paramedics love the ocean? They’re experts at treading water!
  109. What’s a paramedic’s favorite game? Life.
  110. Why did the paramedic bring a ruler to work? He was measuring up to the task!
  111. Why did the paramedic become a movie director? He loved high-pressure scenes!
  112. Why do paramedics love diving? They’re good under pressure!
  113. What’s a paramedic’s favorite soda? Dr. Pepper, of course!
  114. Why did the paramedic go to the bakery? He was looking for doughnuts with a hole lot of love!
  115. Why did the paramedic love surfing? He was great at handling the waves!
  116. Why did the paramedic become a DJ? He loved to feel the beat!
  117. Why did the paramedic always bring a compass to work? He never lost his direction.
  118. Why did the paramedic go to the concert? He wanted to hear the heartstrings!
  119. Why did the paramedic bring a mirror to work? He reflected on every situation!
  120. Why did the paramedic become a gardener? He had a green pulse!
  121. What’s a paramedic’s favorite tree? The heartwood!
  122. Why did the paramedic bring a kite to work? He wanted to lift everyone’s spirits!
  123. Why did the paramedic love to play poker? He knew all about dealing with hearts.
  124. Why did the paramedic always carry a camera? He was focusing on saving lives!
  125. Why did the paramedic become a baker? He knew how to roll with the punches!
  126. Why did the paramedic always bring a magnifying glass to work? He saw the little things that mattered.
  127. Why did the paramedic go to the magic show? He had a few tricks up his sleeve!
  128. What’s a paramedic’s favorite cereal? Life Savers.
  129. Why did the paramedic always carry a dictionary? He liked to spell out the facts!
  130. Why did the paramedic become a tailor? He had the perfect stitch!
  131. Why did the paramedic bring a flashlight to work? He knew when to shed some light.
  132. Why did the paramedic always carry a watch? He knew time was of the essence!
  133. Why did the paramedic become a teacher? He knew how to handle emergencies.
  134. What’s a paramedic’s favorite sport? Racing, because it gets the heart racing!
  135. Why did the paramedic always carry a map? He had a route to everyone’s heart.
  136. Why did the paramedic always carry a notebook? He loved to take notes on the heart.
  137. Why did the paramedic go to the boxing match? He was great at handling punches!
  138. Why did the paramedic become a jeweler? He knew all about heart stones!
  139. Why did the paramedic always bring a compass to work? He liked to navigate through difficulties.
  140. Why did the paramedic go to the museum? He loved art that touched the heart.
  141. Why did the paramedic always bring a towel to work? He knew when to throw it in.
  142. Why did the paramedic love Christmas? He had a gift for helping people.
  143. Why did the paramedic become a carpenter? He was great at fixing broken parts!
  144. Why did the paramedic always bring a fan to work? He knew how to cool down a situation.
  145. Why did the paramedic go to the comedy club? He knew laughter was the best medicine!
  146. Why did the paramedic bring a radio to work? He loved to tune into life’s rhythms.
  147. Why did the paramedic go to the beach? He loved the sound of the waves.
  148. Why did the paramedic always bring a thermometer to work? He knew how to take the heat!
  149. What’s a paramedic’s favorite hobby? Saving lives, it’s no joke!

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