150 oyster jokes

  1. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
  2. Why did the oyster go to the party? To clam up the place.
  3. What’s an oyster’s favorite music? Shell-n-Roll.
  4. Why was the oyster always late? It couldn’t keep up with the current.
  5. What do you call an oyster that just won’t open? Clammed up.
  6. Why was the oyster always in trouble? It couldn’t keep its mouth shut.
  7. What did the pearl say to the oyster? “You’re a real gem!”
  8. Why was the oyster always unhappy? It had too many mussels.
  9. Why was the oyster a great comedian? Because it always knew how to shell a joke.
  10. Why did the oyster never share its pearls? It had a hard exterior.
  11. What do you call an oyster that can play the piano? A musical mollusk.
  12. Why do oysters hate small talk? They prefer deep sea discussions.
  13. How do oysters call their friends? On the shell phone.
  14. Why are oysters never lost? They always clam up at home.
  15. What do you call a rebellious oyster? A hard-shelled teenager.
  16. What did the oyster do on New Year’s Eve? Shell-ebrate.
  17. Why was the oyster a bad student? It was always zoning out in its shell.
  18. Why did the oyster become a baker? It was good at shelling out dough.
  19. Why don’t oysters like to go to school? They prefer the school of fish.
  20. Why did the oyster always carry an umbrella? To avoid getting into hot water.
  21. What do you call an oyster that can’t stay in one place? A shell of a wanderer.
  22. What did the oyster say to the scallop? “You’re a real softie!”
  23. Why did the oyster refuse to play cards? It was afraid of being dealt a bad clam.
  24. What’s an oyster’s favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory, because they love pearls.
  25. Why are oysters great storytellers? They always have a pearl of wisdom to share.
  26. What’s an oyster’s favorite ballet? Swan Lake – they love the water.
  27. Why did the oyster join the circus? It was quite the spectacle.
  28. What do you call an oyster with a cold? A little clammy.
  29. Why did the oyster become an artist? It had a natural talent for shellscapes.
  30. Why did the oyster open a bank account? To deposit its pearls.
  31. What’s an oyster’s favorite game? Hide and Sea-k.
  32. Why did the oyster make a great detective? It always knew when things were fishy.
  33. What did the oyster say at the dance party? “Let’s shell-shake!”
  34. What do oysters wear to a formal event? A clamourous tuxedo.
  35. What do you call an oyster who’s a movie star? A pearl-celebrity.
  36. What do you call an oyster with a lot of friends? Pop-shell-er.
  37. How do oysters cut their hair? They clam it!
  38. What’s an oyster’s favorite movie? “Clam of the Titans.”
  39. What did the baby oyster do when it grew up? It came out of its shell.
  40. What do you call a group of oysters playing music? A shell-band.
  41. Why did the oyster become a politician? It wanted to run for shell-ect office.
  42. Why do oysters never tell secrets? They’re afraid of being overheard by a clam.
  43. What do you call an oyster who writes poetry? A shell-espeare.
  44. Why do oysters make good friends? They never take things for granite.
  45. What do you call an oyster that can sing? A clam-orous soprano.
  46. What’s an oyster’s favorite book? “The Pearl” by John Steinbeck.
  47. Why do oysters make good secret agents? They’re great at shell-veillance.
  48. How do you make an oyster laugh? Tell a sea-riously funny joke.
  49. Why are oysters always calm? They’re used to high-tide situations.
  50. What do you call an oyster with a phobia of small spaces? Claustro-clam-ic.
  51. Why was the oyster always busy? It had a lot on its plate.
  52. Why do oysters make good editors? They’re great at catching typos and pearls of wisdom.
  53. How do you know if an oyster likes you? It gives you a pearl necklace.
  54. Why are oysters always ready for a photo? They always clam up for the camera.
  55. What do you call a lazy oyster? A couch clam.
  56. What’s an oyster’s favorite hobby? Shell-ecting stamps.
  57. What did the oyster say to the pearl thief? “You’re shelling me out!”
  58. Why do oysters like to meditate? They love inner peace and clam.
  59. Why are oysters great musicians? They always hit the right clam-ords.
  60. What do oysters wear to bed? Their pearly whites.
  61. How do oysters apologize? They clam up and say sorry.
  62. Why do oysters make bad tennis players? They can’t handle the net.
  63. How do oysters like their steak? Raw and juicy, like themselves.
  64. What do oysters do on their day off? They go to the beach and soak up the sun.
  65. How do oysters get around town? They ride the clambus.
  66. What do you call an oyster with a secret identity? A shell-uperhero.
  67. Why do oysters never get lonely? They always have their pearls to keep them company.
  68. What’s an oyster’s favorite sport? Pearl-diving.
  69. What do you call a sophisticated oyster? A shell-tleman.
  70. Why was the oyster a great architect? It had an eye for de-shell.
  71. What do you call an oyster who loves to party? A shell-ebrity.
  72. What do you call an oyster that’s good at chess? A shell-mate.
  73. Why do oysters never cheat? They always play by the shell.
  74. What’s an oyster’s favorite magic trick? The disappearing clam act.
  75. What’s an oyster’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla clam.
  76. How do oysters celebrate birthdays? With a shell-ebration.
  77. What do you call an oyster with a vision? A sea-er.
  78. How do oysters communicate underwater? They use shellcode.
  79. Why was the oyster good at math? It always knew how to count pearls.
  80. Why was the oyster an excellent writer? It knew how to shell a story.
  81. Why don’t oysters get into fights? They prefer to keep things clam.
  82. How does an oyster keep its shell shiny? It uses shell polish.
  83. What do you call a fussy oyster? A picky pearl-er.
  84. Why do oysters never get lost at sea? They always know their shellter.
  85. What do you call an oyster that loves to read? A shell-lectual.
  86. Why was the oyster a great painter? It always knew how to mix sea colors.
  87. Why did the oyster join a band? It had great shellmo.
  88. Why are oysters such good drivers? They always take the sea-nic route.
  89. What do you call a speedy oyster? A fast clam.
  90. Why are oysters great detectives? They always crack the case wide open.
  91. How do oysters settle disputes? With a game of shell or dare.
  92. What do oysters use to fix their homes? A hammer and shell.
  93. What did the oyster say to the crab? “Stop being so crabby!”
  94. Why did the oyster join the army? It wanted to serve in the sea service.
  95. What’s an oyster’s favorite dance move? The clam jam.
  96. What do oysters put on their toast? Butter and clam.
  97. How do oysters stay safe? They always keep a shell-ter handy.
  98. What do you call an oyster that’s good at making decisions? A shell-utionist.
  99. How do oysters relax after a long day? They soak in the tub and listen to shell-oothing music.
  100. Why did the oyster get a job? To bring home the bacon, lettuce, and tomato.
  101. Why are oysters always calm under pressure? They know they can always retreat to their shell.
  102. How do oysters catch up on gossip? They tune in to the sea-vine.
  103. What do you call a lucky oyster? A fortune shell-er.
  104. What do oysters use to clean their houses? A mop and clam bucket.
  105. Why do oysters make good writers? They know how to spin a good yarn about the sea.
  106. What’s an oyster’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day.
  107. What did the oyster do after it retired? It went on a shell-aventure.
  108. What’s an oyster’s favorite type of movie? A clam-edy.
  109. What did the oyster say to the noisy seagull? “Clam down!”
  110. What do you call an oyster with a sense of humor? A joke shell-er.
  111. Why are oysters good at debates? They always have a clam-elling argument.
  112. What’s an oyster’s favorite season? Spring, because it’s time to come out of their shell.
  113. How do oysters plan their vacations? They use a shell-atlas.
  114. Why are oysters good at baseball? They always make a home clam.
  115. How do oysters get in shape? They hit the clam-gym.
  116. Why are oysters never stressed? They know how to stay clam and carry on.
  117. What’s an oyster’s favorite joke? Anything that’s a real clam-dinger!
  118. Why do oysters make good friends? They clam up and listen.
  119. Why was the oyster always in a good mood? It was always happy as a clam.
  120. What do you call an oyster that can see the future? A clam-voyant.
  121. Why do oysters never lose at hide and seek? They always find a good hiding shell.
  122. What do oysters do on a rainy day? They stay in their shell and watch the rain.
  123. What do you call an oyster who always stays up late? A night-clammer.
  124. What do you call a happy oyster? A clam-tented one.
  125. Why was the oyster a good gardener? It was good at growing sea-weeds.
  126. What’s an oyster’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat and a lot of bass!
  127. Why did the oyster go to the moon? It wanted to see the sea of tranquility.
  128. What do you call a fake oyster? A shell-am.
  129. Why was the oyster a good mathematician? It knew how to count the clams.
  130. What do you call an oyster that can’t stop talking? A clam-chatter.
  131. How do oysters celebrate Halloween? They go trick or clamming.
  132. Why are oysters always happy? They live in perpetual shell-itude.
  133. Why did the oyster refuse to share its pearls? It was a little shellfish.
  134. What do you call an oyster that becomes a judge? A shell-ister.
  135. What do you call an oyster that plays soccer? A goal-keeper.
  136. Why did the oyster get in trouble at school? It wouldn’t stop clamoring.
  137. What did the oyster say to the noisy seagull? “You’re a real squawk-shell!”
  138. What’s an oyster’s favorite type of tea? Earl Grey, with a hint of sea salt.
  139. What do you call an oyster that’s good at dancing? A shell-a-ballerina.
  140. Why do oysters like to go swimming? They love to clam around.
  141. What did the oyster say when it won the lottery? “I’m on a roll!”
  142. Why are oysters always prepared for a storm? They know the tides can turn quickly.
  143. What do you call an oyster that’s a great cook? A shell-f.
  144. How does an oyster ask someone out on a date? “Are you up for a clam dinner?”
  145. Why do oysters never feel left out? They’re always part of the clam-unity.
  146. What do you call an oyster that loves to daydream? A clam-oud.
  147. How does an oyster say goodbye? “Shell you later!”
  148. Why are oysters such good cheerleaders? They always know how to shell out support.
  149. What did the oyster say on its birthday? “Another year older, another shell to my collection.”
  150. And finally, why did the oyster write all these jokes? Because it loves to shell out laughter!

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