137 noah’s ark jokes
Sure, I’ll try to create a wide variety of original Noah’s Ark jokes for you.
Let’s get started!
- Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? Because he only had two worms!
- What animal could Noah not trust on the ark? The cheetah!
- Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck!
- How did Noah see the animals in the dark? With flood lighting!
- How did the animals find their way to the ark? They followed the “Ark-ansas”!
- What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Flood lights!
- What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark? “Now I herd everything!”
- What animal took up the most room on the Ark? The ele-phant!
- Why did the people on the other boats not survive the flood? They were in “denial”!
- Why was Noah the best financier in the Bible? He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
- Why couldn’t Noah catch many fish during the flood? Because he only had two of a kind!
- What’s Noah’s favorite exercise? Ark-robics!
- Why didn’t Noah ever lose at hide and seek? Because he always floated above the competition!
- What do Noah and a baseball player have in common? They both know the importance of getting home safe!
- What was the first animal out of the Ark? The dove, because it had “bin gone”!
- What did Noah use to catch all the fish? An Ark-angle!
- What kind of animal couldn’t Noah keep on the Ark? Butterflies, because they flew away!
- What did Noah say when he found the ark had termites? “I can’t Ark-cept this!”
- How did Noah prevent his boats from getting stolen? He kept them all in his Ark-ing lot!
- What animal was always getting in trouble on the Ark? The m-onkey!
- What did Noah say when the animals started getting restless? “Keep it down! I’m trying to n-Ark here!”
- What did Noah do when one of the animals got sick? He took them to the Ark-vet!
- Why was the math book sad on Noah’s Ark? Because it had too many problems!
- What kind of wood doesn’t float in Noah’s Ark? Natalie Wood!
- How did the penguins survive on the Ark? They were on ice!
- Why was Noah the worst businessman? He let the world flood the market!
- Why did the lettuce blush on Noah’s Ark? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Why were the pencils useless on the Ark? Because they were pointless!
- How did Noah make his tea on the Ark? He brewed it in the rain!
- What did the tomato say to the other on Noah’s Ark? “You go on ahead, I’ll ketchup!”
- How did Noah keep his suits wrinkle-free? He brought an Ark-starch!
- What is Noah’s favorite song? “The Itsy Bitsy Spider Went Up the Ark Spout”!
- Why were there only two worms on Noah’s Ark? Because anything more would be a can of worms!
- What’s Noah’s least favorite candy? Life Savers, because they’re a little late!
- What did Noah say when he left the Ark? “I’ve got a boat to pick with you!”
- Why didn’t Noah go out in the rain? Because he wasn’t falling for that one again!
- Why did Noah refuse to let lions on the Ark? He didn’t want to take a chance on a “mane” event!
- What do you call a person who makes fun of Noah’s Ark? A “flood-gate”!
- How did Noah keep the bees on the Ark from misbehaving? He threatened to unleash a swarm of punishment!
- What’s Noah’s favorite kind of math? Ark-ithmetic!
- How did Noah feel when he finished the Ark? Like he could float on cloud nine!
- Why did Noah put a door on the Ark? He wanted to avoid a “flood” of intruders!
- How did the animals leave Noah’s Ark? They went out in their “own sweet time”!
- What was Noah’s favorite snack on the Ark? Animal Crackers!
- What did Noah say when he docked the Ark? “Is there an Ark-ing spot?”
- Why did Noah bring a map on the Ark? So he wouldn’t get caught in a “flood” of confusion!
- How did Noah keep time on the Ark? He used an hourglass. It was “sands”ational!
- Why did Noah go to jail? Because he was caught “floodering”!
- Why didn’t Noah ever play chess on the Ark? Because he was afraid of chequers!
- How did Noah feel when he saw land after the flood? He was on “tide nine”!
- How did Noah ensure the animals on the Ark could eat in peace? He set up separate dining “ark-eas”!
- What did Noah use to fix the Ark when it had a leak? “Ark-ing” tape!
- How did Noah count the animals on the Ark? With an “ark-abacus”!
- Why did Noah become a sailor? He wanted to make a “splash” in the world!
- Why did Noah build the Ark? Because he couldn’t “afford” the flood!
- What did Noah use to measure the Ark? A “ruler of waves”!
- Why did Noah’s wife get mad at him? Because he left the toilet “seat” up!
- How did Noah clean the Ark? With a “mop and pail”!
- What did Noah say when the animals got seasick? “Hold on, we’re in rough waters!”
- What was Noah’s advice to the animals on the Ark? “Don’t rock the boat!”
- Why did Noah have trouble sleeping on the Ark? Because of the “snore”us!
- Why did Noah become a baker after the flood? He knew a lot about “rolls” and “waves”!
- What did Noah say when the Ark started to sink? “We’re in deep water now!”
- What was the most difficult animal to load onto the Ark? The elephant, it was a real “trunk” challenge!
- Why did Noah never get bored on the Ark? Because he always had a “boat-load” of things to do!
- Why did Noah build the Ark out of gopher wood? Because he couldn’t find a “wood-chuck”!
- What did Noah say when he realized the Ark was leaning? “I can’t fathom this!”
- How did Noah keep his pants up on the Ark? With an “Ark-belt”!
- Why didn’t Noah play hide and seek with the animals? Because he always found them in the “end”!
- How did Noah communicate with the animals on the Ark? With “sign” language!
- Why did Noah become a musician after the flood? Because he had mastered the “organ-ization”!
- What did Noah say to his family during the flood? “I told you it’s not just a drop in the ocean!”
- Why did Noah play the trumpet on the Ark? To “blow” off some steam!
- What is Noah’s favorite type of exercise? “Rowing”!
- Why did Noah bring a compass on the Ark? To keep things “pointing” in the right direction!
- How did Noah cheer up his family on the Ark? He told them, “After a storm comes a calm!”
- Why did Noah play soccer on the Ark? To “kick” away the boredom!
- What did Noah say when he saw the first rainbow after the flood? “Now that’s a sight for “shore” eyes!”
- How did Noah know when it was bedtime on the Ark? When the sun went “down”!
- Why did Noah open a bakery after the flood? Because he had a “boatload” of dough!
- What did Noah say to the two termites on the Ark? “You wood not believe what you’ve done!”
- What was Noah’s favorite kind of music on the Ark? The blues, because he was always “under the weather”!
- Why did Noah have a lot of pens on the Ark? To prevent a “flood” of ideas from being lost!
- How did Noah organize the animals on the Ark? In an “ark-array”!
- Why did Noah put all the animals on the Ark? He didn’t want to deal with “sea-sickness”!
- Why did Noah become a gardener after the flood? Because he had a “green thumb” from all the “rain”!
- Why did Noah always carry a notebook on the Ark? To jot down “flood” of thoughts!
- How did Noah deal with the mosquitoes on the Ark? He made a “swat” team!
- Why did Noah become a weatherman after the flood? Because he had experienced “high tide” and “low tide”!
- Why did Noah become a sailor after the flood? He didn’t want to miss the “boat” again!
- Why was Noah the best detective on the Ark? Because he could always sniff out the “scent” of a mystery!
- What did Noah say when he saw the land after the flood? “I “sea” land!”
- What did Noah use to check his appearance on the Ark? A “reflection” in the water!
- How did Noah stay fit on the Ark? He did “circles” around the deck!
- Why did Noah keep a diary on the Ark? To keep track of the “days” and “nights”!
- What did Noah use to clean the Ark? A “vacuum cleaner”, it was a real “dust-buster”!
- Why did Noah take a ladder on the Ark? For when the water level got “high”!
- What was the most musical animal on Noah’s Ark? The Lyrebird, it was a “note”-worthy performer!
- How did Noah deal with the ants on the Ark? He set up an “ant-trap”!
- Why did Noah put a bell on the Ark? So he could “ring” in the new world!
- Why did Noah become a writer after the flood? Because he had so many “tales” to tell!
- How did Noah keep the Ark smelling fresh? With “Ark-potpourri”!
- Why did Noah never lose at poker on the Ark? Because he always had a “flood” of aces up his sleeve!
- What was the first thing Noah did when he got off the Ark? He checked his “weather app”!
- What did Noah say when the animals got restless? “Don’t “rock” the boat!”
- How did Noah know how to build the Ark? He “floated” the idea by God!
- Why did Noah become a movie director after the flood? He was good at “calling the shots”!
- Why did Noah become a mechanic after the flood? He was good at “fixing” things!
- Why did Noah make sure to pack a clock on the Ark? He didn’t want to “lose track of time”!
- How did Noah keep the animals calm during the flood? He played them soothing “sea”-nery videos!
- How did Noah celebrate the end of the flood? He threw a “water”-logged party!
- How did Noah entertain the animals on the Ark? He played “sea”-saw with them!
- How did Noah know it was raining too much? He checked his “weather-vane”!
- What did Noah say when the animals wanted to leave the Ark? “Wait for it to “dry” up!”
- Why did Noah always carry a whistle on the Ark? To keep the animals in “line”!
- Why did Noah become a chef after the flood? He was good at “stirring” things up!
- How did Noah keep his hair neat on the Ark? With a “comb”, it was a real “wave”-tamer!
- Why did Noah bring a telescope on the Ark? To “watch” for dry land!
- How did Noah predict the weather on the Ark? He used a “weather-stone”!
- Why did Noah bring a chessboard on the Ark? For when the animals wanted to “checkmate” boredom!
- How did Noah navigate the Ark? He used a “compass”, it was a real “direction”-setter!
- Why did Noah keep a calendar on the Ark? To keep track of the “days”!
- Why did Noah become a painter after the flood? Because he was good at “brushing” up on things!
- How did Noah prevent the animals from falling off the Ark? He installed “safety” rails!
- Why did Noah always carry an umbrella on the Ark? He was “ready” for the rain!
- Why did Noah keep a torch on the Ark? To “light” the way!
- Why did Noah become a teacher after the flood? Because he had so much “knowledge” to share!
- How did Noah prepare the meals on the Ark? With a “cookbook”, it was a real “recipe”-holder!
- Why did Noah keep a mirror on the Ark? To “reflect” on things!
- Why did Noah bring a football on the Ark? To “kick” away the boredom!
- Why did Noah always have a joke ready on the Ark? To “lighten” the mood!
- How did Noah know the flood was over? The “water”-level went down!
- Why did Noah bring a camera on the Ark? To “capture” the moment!
- Why did Noah keep a radio on the Ark? To tune into the “waves”!
- How did Noah keep track of all the animals on the Ark? He had a “list”, it was a real “record”-keeper!
- Why did Noah bring a toolbox on the Ark? To “fix” things up!
- Why did Noah become a fashion designer after the flood? He knew how to “cut and sew”!