137 noah’s ark jokes

Sure, I’ll try to create a wide variety of original Noah’s Ark jokes for you.

Let’s get started!

1. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? Because he only had two worms!
2. What animal could Noah not trust on the ark? The cheetah!
3. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck!
4. How did Noah see the animals in the dark? With flood lighting!
5. How did the animals find their way to the ark? They followed the “Ark-ansas”!
6. What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Flood lights!
7. What did Noah say as he was loading the Ark? “Now I herd everything!”
8. What animal took up the most room on the Ark? The ele-phant!
9. Why did the people on the other boats not survive the flood? They were in “denial”!
10. Why was Noah the best financier in the Bible? He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
11. Why couldn’t Noah catch many fish during the flood? Because he only had two of a kind!
12. What’s Noah’s favorite exercise? Ark-robics!
13. Why didn’t Noah ever lose at hide and seek? Because he always floated above the competition!
14. What do Noah and a baseball player have in common? They both know the importance of getting home safe!
15. What was the first animal out of the Ark? The dove, because it had “bin gone”!
16. What did Noah use to catch all the fish? An Ark-angle!
17. What kind of animal couldn’t Noah keep on the Ark? Butterflies, because they flew away!
18. What did Noah say when he found the ark had termites? “I can’t Ark-cept this!”
19. How did Noah prevent his boats from getting stolen? He kept them all in his Ark-ing lot!
20. What animal was always getting in trouble on the Ark? The m-onkey!
21. What did Noah say when the animals started getting restless? “Keep it down! I’m trying to n-Ark here!”
22. What did Noah do when one of the animals got sick? He took them to the Ark-vet!
23. Why was the math book sad on Noah’s Ark? Because it had too many problems!
24. What kind of wood doesn’t float in Noah’s Ark? Natalie Wood!
25. How did the penguins survive on the Ark? They were on ice!
26. Why was Noah the worst businessman? He let the world flood the market!
27. Why did the lettuce blush on Noah’s Ark? Because it saw the salad dressing!
28. Why were the pencils useless on the Ark? Because they were pointless!
29. How did Noah make his tea on the Ark? He brewed it in the rain!
30. What did the tomato say to the other on Noah’s Ark? “You go on ahead, I’ll ketchup!”
31. How did Noah keep his suits wrinkle-free? He brought an Ark-starch!
32. What is Noah’s favorite song? “The Itsy Bitsy Spider Went Up the Ark Spout”!
33. Why were there only two worms on Noah’s Ark? Because anything more would be a can of worms!
34. What’s Noah’s least favorite candy? Life Savers, because they’re a little late!
35. What did Noah say when he left the Ark? “I’ve got a boat to pick with you!”
36. Why didn’t Noah go out in the rain? Because he wasn’t falling for that one again!
37. Why did Noah refuse to let lions on the Ark? He didn’t want to take a chance on a “mane” event!
38. What do you call a person who makes fun of Noah’s Ark? A “flood-gate”!
39. How did Noah keep the bees on the Ark from misbehaving? He threatened to unleash a swarm of punishment!
40. What’s Noah’s favorite kind of math? Ark-ithmetic!
41. How did Noah feel when he finished the Ark? Like he could float on cloud nine!
42. Why did Noah put a door on the Ark? He wanted to avoid a “flood” of intruders!
43. How did the animals leave Noah’s Ark? They went out in their “own sweet time”!
44. What was Noah’s favorite snack on the Ark? Animal Crackers!
45. What did Noah say when he docked the Ark? “Is there an Ark-ing spot?”
46. Why did Noah bring a map on the Ark? So he wouldn’t get caught in a “flood” of confusion!
47. How did Noah keep time on the Ark? He used an hourglass. It was “sands”ational!
48. Why did Noah go to jail? Because he was caught “floodering”!
49. Why didn’t Noah ever play chess on the Ark? Because he was afraid of chequers!
50. How did Noah feel when he saw land after the flood? He was on “tide nine”!
51. How did Noah ensure the animals on the Ark could eat in peace? He set up separate dining “ark-eas”!
52. What did Noah use to fix the Ark when it had a leak? “Ark-ing” tape!
53. How did Noah count the animals on the Ark? With an “ark-abacus”!
54. Why did Noah become a sailor? He wanted to make a “splash” in the world!
55. Why did Noah build the Ark? Because he couldn’t “afford” the flood!
56. What did Noah use to measure the Ark? A “ruler of waves”!
57. Why did Noah’s wife get mad at him? Because he left the toilet “seat” up!
58. How did Noah clean the Ark? With a “mop and pail”!
59. What did Noah say when the animals got seasick? “Hold on, we’re in rough waters!”
60. What was Noah’s advice to the animals on the Ark? “Don’t rock the boat!”
61. Why did Noah have trouble sleeping on the Ark? Because of the “snore”us!
62. Why did Noah become a baker after the flood? He knew a lot about “rolls” and “waves”!
63. What did Noah say when the Ark started to sink? “We’re in deep water now!”
64. What was the most difficult animal to load onto the Ark? The elephant, it was a real “trunk” challenge!
65. Why did Noah never get bored on the Ark? Because he always had a “boat-load” of things to do!
66. Why did Noah build the Ark out of gopher wood? Because he couldn’t find a “wood-chuck”!
67. What did Noah say when he realized the Ark was leaning? “I can’t fathom this!”
68. How did Noah keep his pants up on the Ark? With an “Ark-belt”!
69. Why didn’t Noah play hide and seek with the animals? Because he always found them in the “end”!
70. How did Noah communicate with the animals on the Ark? With “sign” language!
71. Why did Noah become a musician after the flood? Because he had mastered the “organ-ization”!
72. What did Noah say to his family during the flood? “I told you it’s not just a drop in the ocean!”
73. Why did Noah play the trumpet on the Ark? To “blow” off some steam!
74. What is Noah’s favorite type of exercise? “Rowing”!
75. Why did Noah bring a compass on the Ark? To keep things “pointing” in the right direction!
76. How did Noah cheer up his family on the Ark? He told them, “After a storm comes a calm!”
77. Why did Noah play soccer on the Ark? To “kick” away the boredom!
78. What did Noah say when he saw the first rainbow after the flood? “Now that’s a sight for “shore” eyes!”
79. How did Noah know when it was bedtime on the Ark? When the sun went “down”!
80. Why did Noah open a bakery after the flood? Because he had a “boatload” of dough!
81. What did Noah say to the two termites on the Ark? “You wood not believe what you’ve done!”
82. What was Noah’s favorite kind of music on the Ark? The blues, because he was always “under the weather”!
83. Why did Noah have a lot of pens on the Ark? To prevent a “flood” of ideas from being lost!
84. How did Noah organize the animals on the Ark? In an “ark-array”!
85. Why did Noah put all the animals on the Ark? He didn’t want to deal with “sea-sickness”!
86. Why did Noah become a gardener after the flood? Because he had a “green thumb” from all the “rain”!
87. Why did Noah always carry a notebook on the Ark? To jot down “flood” of thoughts!
88. How did Noah deal with the mosquitoes on the Ark? He made a “swat” team!
89. Why did Noah become a weatherman after the flood? Because he had experienced “high tide” and “low tide”!
90. Why did Noah become a sailor after the flood? He didn’t want to miss the “boat” again!
91. Why was Noah the best detective on the Ark? Because he could always sniff out the “scent” of a mystery!
92. What did Noah say when he saw the land after the flood? “I “sea” land!”
93. What did Noah use to check his appearance on the Ark? A “reflection” in the water!
94. How did Noah stay fit on the Ark? He did “circles” around the deck!
95. Why did Noah keep a diary on the Ark? To keep track of the “days” and “nights”!
96. What did Noah use to clean the Ark? A “vacuum cleaner”, it was a real “dust-buster”!
97. Why did Noah take a ladder on the Ark? For when the water level got “high”!
98. What was the most musical animal on Noah’s Ark? The Lyrebird, it was a “note”-worthy performer!
99. How did Noah deal with the ants on the Ark? He set up an “ant-trap”!
100. Why did Noah put a bell on the Ark? So he could “ring” in the new world!
101. Why did Noah become a writer after the flood? Because he had so many “tales” to tell!
102. How did Noah keep the Ark smelling fresh? With “Ark-potpourri”!
103. Why did Noah never lose at poker on the Ark? Because he always had a “flood” of aces up his sleeve!
104. What was the first thing Noah did when he got off the Ark? He checked his “weather app”!
105. What did Noah say when the animals got restless? “Don’t “rock” the boat!”
106. How did Noah know how to build the Ark? He “floated” the idea by God!
107. Why did Noah become a movie director after the flood? He was good at “calling the shots”!
108. Why did Noah become a mechanic after the flood? He was good at “fixing” things!
109. Why did Noah make sure to pack a clock on the Ark? He didn’t want to “lose track of time”!
110. How did Noah keep the animals calm during the flood? He played them soothing “sea”-nery videos!
111. How did Noah celebrate the end of the flood? He threw a “water”-logged party!
112. How did Noah entertain the animals on the Ark? He played “sea”-saw with them!
113. How did Noah know it was raining too much? He checked his “weather-vane”!
114. What did Noah say when the animals wanted to leave the Ark? “Wait for it to “dry” up!”
115. Why did Noah always carry a whistle on the Ark? To keep the animals in “line”!
116. Why did Noah become a chef after the flood? He was good at “stirring” things up!
117. How did Noah keep his hair neat on the Ark? With a “comb”, it was a real “wave”-tamer!
118. Why did Noah bring a telescope on the Ark? To “watch” for dry land!
119. How did Noah predict the weather on the Ark? He used a “weather-stone”!
120. Why did Noah bring a chessboard on the Ark? For when the animals wanted to “checkmate” boredom!
121. How did Noah navigate the Ark? He used a “compass”, it was a real “direction”-setter!
122. Why did Noah keep a calendar on the Ark? To keep track of the “days”!
123. Why did Noah become a painter after the flood? Because he was good at “brushing” up on things!
124. How did Noah prevent the animals from falling off the Ark? He installed “safety” rails!
125. Why did Noah always carry an umbrella on the Ark? He was “ready” for the rain!
126. Why did Noah keep a torch on the Ark? To “light” the way!
127. Why did Noah become a teacher after the flood? Because he had so much “knowledge” to share!
128. How did Noah prepare the meals on the Ark? With a “cookbook”, it was a real “recipe”-holder!
129. Why did Noah keep a mirror on the Ark? To “reflect” on things!
130. Why did Noah bring a football on the Ark? To “kick” away the boredom!
131. Why did Noah always have a joke ready on the Ark? To “lighten” the mood!
132. How did Noah know the flood was over? The “water”-level went down!
133. Why did Noah bring a camera on the Ark? To “capture” the moment!
134. Why did Noah keep a radio on the Ark? To tune into the “waves”!
135. How did Noah keep track of all the animals on the Ark? He had a “list”, it was a real “record”-keeper!
136. Why did Noah bring a toolbox on the Ark? To “fix” things up!
137. Why did Noah become a fashion designer after the flood? He knew how to “cut and sew”!