150 news jokes
- Why don’t news reporters make good baseball players? They always hit the headlines.
- Why did the newspaper go to therapy? It had too many issues.
- Why did the journalist go to the bakery? She heard there was a new scoop.
- Why did the newspaper report get a ticket? It exceeded the word limit.
- How does a reporter make a cocktail? With just the right amount of news and a twist of the story.
- Why did the journalist become a gardener? He wanted to plant some breaking news.
- Why did the anchor break up with her boyfriend? Because he wasn’t “newsworthy”.
- What does a journalist use to go fishing? Clickbait.
- Why did the newspaper take a nap? It was “exhausted from the daily grind”.
- How do journalists organize a party? They put all the details in the headlines.
- Why are cats bad news reporters? They just paw-sue their own stories.
- Why did the journalist go to the gym? To get the latest scoop on fitness.
- Why don’t journalists play hide and seek? Because good news always surfaces.
- Why was the news reporter bad at poker? He couldn’t keep a poker face while bluffing the news.
- Why was the weather reporter stuck at the beach? He was predicting “sandy” conditions.
- Why did the journalist go to the farm? To report about the “stock” market.
- How do journalists cut their hair? By keeping it “short and snappy”.
- Why don’t news anchors make good chefs? They tend to “overcook” the news.
- Why did the journalist become a detective? To “investigate” the stories.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of music? “Breaking” news.
- Why was the news reporter always losing at chess? Because he always checked his mate.
- Why don’t reporters write love stories? Because they can’t handle the “breaking hearts”.
- Why did the journalist go to the dance? To get the “scoop” on the latest moves.
- How do reporters like their tea? With a pinch of breaking news and a spoonful of controversy.
- Why don’t journalists play basketball? They always miss the scoop.
- Why did the reporter buy an umbrella? He was preparing for “breaking showers”.
- Why did the reporter bring a ladder to the interview? He wanted to “take things to a higher level”.
- Why are journalists bad at chess? They always “broadcast” their next move.
- Why did the journalist become a marathon runner? He was after the “running story”.
- How does a journalist say goodbye? “Stay tuned for more”.
- Why did the news reporter go to a magic show? He was looking for some “trick” news.
- Why did the news reporter carry a torch? He wanted to shed light on the story.
- What’s a news reporter’s favorite type of bread? “Scoop” bread.
- Why are news anchors bad at math? They think an “angle” is a story perspective.
- Why did the journalist buy a skateboard? He wanted to “roll with the story”.
- Why did the journalist go to the concert? To “note” the highlights.
- What’s a news reporter’s favorite type of pasta? “Newsworthy” noodles.
- How does a journalist like his coffee? “Hot off the press”.
- Why did the journalist get a ticket at the park? He was “pressing” too many issues.
- Why did the news reporter go to the zoo? She was after some “wild” stories.
- Why do journalists love elevators? It gives their stories a “lift”.
- How do news anchors like their eggs? “Breaking”.
- Why did the reporter join the circus? He was chasing the “big top stories”.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of car? A “news” coupe.
- How do journalists play poker? With a deck of “current events”.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite exercise? The “press” up.
- Why did the news anchor go to the boxing match? He was looking for a “punchy” headline.
- Why did the journalist go to the aquarium? She was after a “fishy” story.
- Why did the news anchor go to the art gallery? He wanted to “draw” attention to culture.
- How do news anchors like their fruit? “Juicy and fresh”.
- Why was the journalist at the fashion show? She was looking for “tailored” news.
- Why did the news reporter go to the library? He was “booked” for a story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of cake? A “newsworthy” sponge.
- Why did the journalist go to the mall? She wanted to “shop” for news.
- Why did the news reporter join the band? He was “instrumental” in getting the scoop.
- How do news anchors like their pizza? With “extra coverage”.
- Why did the journalist go to the circus? He was after a “juggling” story.
- What’s a news reporter’s favorite type of dog? A “newshound”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the amusement park? He wanted a “rollercoaster” of a story.
- How do journalists organize a race? They start with a “breaking” start.
- Why did the reporter go to the candy store? He was after some “sweet” news.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of ice cream? “Breaking” vanilla.
- Why did the journalist go to the spa? She was looking for a “relaxing” story.
- How do news reporters like their soup? “Hot and full of stories”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the zoo? He wanted to report “animal behavior”.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite game? “News and ladders”.
- Why did the news reporter go to the comic-con? She wanted a “super” story.
- How do journalists like their burgers? With “extra news sauce”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the botanical garden? He was after a “blossoming” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of pie? “Breaking” apple.
- Why did the reporter go to the sushi bar? He was after some “raw” news.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of bird? The “news” hawk.
- Why did the journalist go to the candy factory? She was looking for a “sugar-coated” story.
- How do news reporters like their chicken? “Crispy and filled with news”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the farm? He wanted a “fresh from the farm” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite vegetable? “News” peas.
- Why did the news reporter go to the space center? She wanted an “out of this world” story.
- How dojournalists like their steak? “Well-done with a side of news”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the toy store? He wanted a “playful” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of fish? “News” salmon.
- Why did the reporter go to the hot springs? She was after a “steaming” news.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of tea? “News” tea.
- Why did the journalist go to the tech store? He was after some “wired” news.
- How do news reporters like their pasta? “Al dente with a news sauce”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the antiques store? He wanted a “blast from the past” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of flower? “News” roses.
- Why did the news reporter go to the bakery? She wanted a “freshly baked” story.
- How do journalists like their salad? “Tossed with news dressing”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the forest? He wanted an “into the wild” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of fruit? “News” apples.
- Why did the reporter go to the ice cream shop? She was after a “chilling” story.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of cookies? “News” chip cookies.
- Why did the journalist go to the hat store? He wanted a “top hat” story.
- How do news reporters like their fries? “Crispy with a sprinkle of news”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the vintage car show? He wanted a “classic” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of candy? “News” gummies.
- Why did the news reporter go to the gym? She was after a “fit” story.
- How do journalists like their hot dogs? “Topped with news mustard”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the horse race? He wanted a “fast and furious” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite board game? “News” monopoly.
- Why did the reporter go to the beach? She was after a “sandy” story.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of snack? “News” pretzels.
- Why did the journalist go to the perfume store? He wanted a “scent-sational” story.
- How do news reporters like their milkshakes? “Blended with a taste of news”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the flea market? He wanted a “bargain” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of salad? “News” Caesar salad.
- Why did the news reporter go to the roller rink? She wanted a “rollin'” story.
- How do journalists like their cocktails? “Mixed with a shot of news”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the music festival? He wanted a “rocking” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of cheese? “News” cheddar.
- Why did the reporter go to the movie premiere? She wanted a “star-studded” story.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of jelly? “News” strawberry.
- Why did the journalist go to the magic shop? He wanted a “magical” story.
- How do news reporters like their pancakes? “Flipped with a side of news syrup”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the opera? He wanted a “dramatic” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of bread? “News” sourdough.
- Why did the news reporter go to the carnival? She wanted a “carnivalesque” story.
- How do journalists like their tacos? “Stuffed with news beef”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the race track? He wanted a “speedy” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of soda? “News” cola.
- Why did the reporter go to the vineyard? She wanted a “wine-tastic” story.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of cereal? “News” loops.
- Why did the journalist go to the furniture store? He wanted a “comfy” story.
- How do news reporters like their waffles? “Golden with a drizzle of news syrup”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the theme park? He wanted a “thrilling” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of coffee? “News” espresso.
- Why did the news reporter go to the nursery? She wanted a “baby” story.
- How do journalists like their pies? “Warm with a scoop of news ice cream”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the bike race? He wanted a “cycling” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of sandwich? “News” club sandwich.
- Why did the reporter go to the chocolate factory? She wanted a “sweet” story.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of donut? “News” cream-filled.
- Why did the journalist go to the fishing competition? He wanted a “reeling” story.
- How do news reporters like their scones? “Buttery with a spread of news jam”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the cooking show? He wanted a “delicious” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of smoothie? “News” berry blend.
- Why did the news reporter go to the pet show? She wanted a “cute” story.
- How do journalists like their muffins? “Warm with a sprinkle of news sugar”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the fashion week? He wanted a “runway” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of popcorn? “News” caramel popcorn.
- Why did the reporter go to the tech expo? She wanted a “futuristic” story.
- What’s a news anchor’s favorite type of sushi? “News” California roll.
- Why did the journalist go to the local fair? He wanted a “fairly good” story.
- How do news reporters like their cakes? “Fluffy with a layer of news cream”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the book fair? He wanted a “literary” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of pastry? “News” croissant.
- Why did the news reporter go to the planetarium? She wanted a “starry” story.
- How do journalists like their milk? “Cold with a dash of news cereal”.
- Why did the news anchor go to the flower show? He wanted a “blooming” story.
- What’s a journalist’s favorite type of smoothie bowl? “News” acai bowl.