101 Mattress Jokes

Are you ready to laugh yourself to sleep? Get ready for a night of mattress humor that’s sure to leave you in stitches (but hopefully not in bed sheets)! We’ve gathered a collection of mattress jokes that will have you chuckling under the covers.

From bedtime banter to sleep-inspired puns, these jokes are so good, you might just dream about them. So, tuck yourself in, fluff up your pillows, and let’s dive into the world of mattress comedy.

Top 101 Mattress Jokes:

1. Why don’t mattresses ever get lost? Because they always know where to bed!
2. What did the mattress say to the pillow? “You’re so soft, I could just sleep on you!”
3. Why was the mattress always late? It couldn’t get up!
4. Why was the mattress feeling blue? It had the bed sheets!
5. Why did the mattress go to the doctor? It had spring fever!
6. What’s a mattress’s favorite dessert? Pillow-va cake!
7. Why did the mattress get a promotion? It always rose to the occasion!
8. Why don’t mattresses ever tell secrets? Because they can’t keep things under cover!
9. What did the mattress say to the alarm clock? “You’re really ticking me off!”
10. Why was the mattress proud? It always stood up for comfort!
11. Why was the mattress a great detective? It always got to the bottom of things!
12. Why did the mattress go to the party? It wanted to have a bouncing good time!
13. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of music? Bed-rock!
14. Why did the mattress break up with the blanket? It felt too smothered!
15. Why did the mattress join the circus? It loved doing flips!
16. What’s a mattress’s favorite drink? Bed-time tea!
17. Why did the mattress get a medal? It was outstanding in its field… of comfort!
18. What’s a mattress’s favorite exercise? Bed lifts!
19. Why do mattresses hate winter? Because they can’t stand the cold shoulder!
20. Why don’t mattresses get invited to dances? They always bring their own pad!
21. What’s a mattress’s favorite sport? Bed-minton!
22. Why was the mattress a good politician? It always supported everyone!
23. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of cheese? Beddar Cheddar!
24. Why did the mattress go to therapy? It had too many inner springs!
25. Why don’t mattresses go to the beach? They hate getting sandy sheets!
26. Why did the mattress start a blog? It wanted to share its rest-ipes!
27. Why was the mattress a good student? It was always well-rested for tests!
28. What’s a mattress’s favorite movie? “Bedding Crashers!”
29. Why did the mattress join a band? It loved the sound of the bed-rum!
30. Why did the mattress go to the spa? It needed some R&R – Rest & Relaxation!
31. Why don’t mattresses play hide and seek? They always get caught napping!
32. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of bird? The bed-finch!
33. Why was the mattress a great artist? It always drew a crowd at bed-time!
34. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of tree? The bed-ch tree!
35. Why did the mattress go to the bakery? It wanted to try the bed rolls!
36. Why was the mattress a good sailor? It was never afraid to go overboard!
37. Why don’t mattresses like puns? They prefer bed-time stories!
38. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of fish? The bed-fin shark!
39. Why did the mattress win the race? It was always ahead in the bed!
40. Why did the mattress go to the opera? It loved the high Cs (seas)!
41. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of pasta? Bed-uccini!
42. Why was the mattress a good judge? It always lay down the law!
43. Why did the mattress get a tattoo? It wanted to be a bed-rock star!
44. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of flower? The bed-rose!
45. Why did the mattress join the choir? It could always hit the high notes, no matter how flat!
46. Why did the mattress go to the football game? It was a big fan of the touchdown!
47. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of vehicle? A bed-ford truck!
48. Why was the mattress a good chef? It always knew how to make a bedspread!
49. Why don’t mattresses like to garden? They can’t stand the bed bugs!
50. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of bear? The bed-dy bear!
51. Why did the mattress join the army? It always stood firm!
52. Why did the mattress go to the concert? It loved to bed-jump!
53. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of weather? Light bedding snow!
54. Why was the mattress a good comedian? It always knew how to cushion the fall!
55. Why did the mattress start a bakery? It loved kneading the dough!
56. Why did the mattress go to the gym? It wanted to work on its bed-press!
57. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of fruit? Bed-erries!
58. Why did the mattress go to the library? It loved a good bed-time story!
59. Why was the mattress a good athlete? It always bounced back!
60. Why did the mattress get a ticket? It was caught speeding in the bed lane!
61. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of insect? The bed-beetle!
62. Why did the mattress go to the casino? It loved the thrill of the bed!
63. What’s a mattress’s favorite day of the week? Bed-nesday!
64. Why did the mattress go to the zoo? It loved the bed-dingos!
65. Why was the mattress a good dancer? It always knew how to spring into action!
66. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of candy? Bed-erfinger!
67. Why did the mattress go to the movie theater? It wanted to see the latest bed-buster!
68. Why was the mattress a good teacher? It always knew how to put things to bed!
69. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of dog? The bed-lington terrier!
70. Why did the mattress go to the amusement park? It loved the bed-fall tower!
71. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of vegetable? Bed-ishes!
72. Why did the mattress go to the dentist? It had a bed cavity!
73. Why was the mattress a good actor? It always knew how to play dead!
74. Why did the mattress go to the supermarket? It loved to browse the bed-aisle!
75. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of snake? The bed-a constrictor!
76. Why did the mattress go to the beach? It loved to lay in the sun!
77. Why was the mattress a good singer? It always knew how to hit the right note!
78. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of cat? The bed-gal!
79. Why did the mattress go to the bar? It wanted to try the bed-er beer!
80. Why was the mattress a good runner? It always hit the ground running!
81. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of monkey? The bed-bon!
82. Why did the mattress go to the museum? It loved the bed-works of art!
83. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of shell? The bed-ch shell!
84. Why did the mattress go to the farm? It loved the bed-rolls!
85. Why was the mattress a good writer? It alwaysknew how to turn a phrase!
86. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of dinosaur? The bed-rachiosaurus!
87. Why did the mattress go to the circus? It loved the bed-acrobats!
88. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of gemstone? The bed-azzle!
89. Why did the mattress go to the race track? It loved the bed-fast cars!
90. Why was the mattress a good pilot? It always knew how to take off!
91. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of bread? Bed-er rolls!
92. Why did the mattress go to the concert? It loved the bed-rock music!
93. Why was the mattress a good carpenter? It always nailed it!
94. What’s amattress’s favorite type of pizza? The bed-eroni!
95. Why did the mattress go to the comedy club? It loved the bed-time jokes!
96. Why was the mattress a good doctor? It always knew how to make a diagnosis!
97. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of hat? The bed-erby!
98. Why did the mattress go to the nightclub? It loved to bed-dance!
99. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of book? The bed-time storybook!
100. Why was the mattress a good driver? It always knew how to take the right turn!
101. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of holiday? Bed-anksgiving, because everyone just wants to sleep after the feast!

Conclusion

And there you have it—101 mattress jokes that are bound to put a smile on your face, even if you’re in the middle of a sleepless night. Whether you’re a fan of wordplay, puns, or just love a good bedtime laugh, these mattress jokes have got you covered.

So, the next time you find yourself tossing and turning, just remember these jokes and let the laughter lull you into a peaceful slumber. After all, a good night’s sleep is the best remedy, but a good laugh before bed certainly doesn’t hurt! Sweet dreams and happy giggling!