150 knitting jokes

  1. Why don’t secrets work in a knitting circle? Because it’s all about purl and tell!
  2. Why did the yarn go to school? It wanted to be a little knotty.
  3. What do you call an angry piece of yarn? A knitwit.
  4. Why do knitters make bad secret agents? They always drop stitches.
  5. What did one skein say to another at the yarn store? “Knit me, I’m yours!”
  6. Why don’t knitters make good comedians? Because they always have their needles stuck in a purl.
  7. Why was the knitter arrested? For stitching and bitching!
  8. Why did the sweater go to therapy? It was feeling unraveled.
  9. What’s a knitter’s favorite type of math? Geomet-knit-ry!
  10. How do knitters stay warm in winter? They cozy up with their wool mates.
  11. Why was the knitter always calm? She knew how to keep her stitches in a row.
  12. Why was the knitting club so loud? They couldn’t keep their purls quiet.
  13. Why did the ball of yarn refuse to leave the store? It didn’t want to be knit-picked.
  14. What do you call a group of musical knitters? A band of purl jammers.
  15. Why don’t knitters get lost? They always follow the thread.
  16. What’s a knitter’s favorite time of day? Wool o’clock!
  17. Why are knitters such bad liars? They can’t pull the wool over anyone’s eyes.
  18. Why was the knitting needle always late? It lost track of time in its stitches.
  19. Why did the yarn go to the bar? To unwind.
  20. Why did the knitter go to the bakery? For rolls of yarn!
  21. What do you call a knitter who can’t find their needles? In-stitch-able.
  22. Why do knitters make great detectives? They know how to unwind a yarn.
  23. What do you call a very slow knitter? A knitwit on a slow purl.
  24. How do knitters say hello? “Knit to meet you!”
  25. What did the knitter say to the naughty yarn? “You’re in a lot of twine.”
  26. Why was the knitting needle always happy? It was always in stitches.
  27. What does a knitter do when they’re bored? They go on a purl spree!
  28. What do you call a very successful knitter? A person of high thread.
  29. Why are knitters so calm? They’re always in the knit of time.
  30. What do you call a knitter who tells bad jokes? A knitwit with bad yarns.
  31. What’s a knitter’s favorite planet? Saturn, because it has rings of yarn!
  32. Why was the knitter always broke? She kept knitting her money away.
  33. What did the knitter do at the football game? She was on the purl sidelines.
  34. How does a knitter make a decision? She weighs the pros and the cons.
  35. What did the knitter say to the bully? “You can’t push me around, I’m not a ball of yarn.”
  36. Why do knitters make great friends? They always stitch in time to help.
  37. How do knitters keep their secrets? They wrap them in yarn.
  38. What’s a knitter’s favorite holiday? Christmas, because it’s time to unravel the presents.
  39. Why don’t knitters play basketball? Because they’re afraid of dropping stitches.
  40. Why did the knitter start a rock band? Because she loved heavy metal… knitting needles.
  41. What did the knitting needle say to the yarn? “You spin me right round!”
  42. Why did the knitter break up with her boyfriend? He wouldn’t stop pulling her yarn.
  43. Why don’t knitters make good bankers? They tend to lose their purls.
  44. How do knitters deal with stress? They weave it behind.
  45. What did the yarn say to the knitting needle? “We’re sew together.”
  46. What do knitters eat for breakfast? Purlidge.
  47. Why do knitters never get cold? They always have their wraps.
  48. What do knitters drink at the bar? Purl Royale.
  49. Why did the knitter always get stuck at traffic lights? She was always stopping to purl.
  50. How do knitters organize a party? They pull some strings.
  51. Why did the knitting needle get in trouble at school? It was always picking up stitches.
  52. How do knitters win races? They know the fastest purl.
  53. What did the knitting needle say to the scared yarn? “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.”
  54. Why do knitters make terrible chefs? They keep trying to purl the potatoes.
  55. Why did the knitter go to the beach? To collect sea-shells for her purl necklace.
  56. Why did the knitter get a speeding ticket? She was in a rush to get to the yarn store.
  57. Why do knitters never get bored? They’re always spinning yarns.
  58. What’s a knitter’s favorite song? “Knit It” by Michael Jackson.
  59. Why was the knitting needle so proud? It was feeling sharp.
  60. What do knitters do on a plane? They purl at 30,000 feet.
  61. Why did the knitter go to the cinema? She heard there was a new yarn-spinning adventure.
  62. How do knitters break up with their partners? “We’ve come to the end of our thread.”
  63. What do knitters and pirates have in common? They both love a good purl.
  64. Why did the knitter go to the library? She heard they had a new mystery yarn.
  65. What’s a knitter’s favorite exercise? Yarn yoga.
  66. Why don’t knitters play poker? They’re scared of losing their stitches.
  67. What do knitters and writers have in common? They both weave yarns.
  68. Why did the knitter bring her work to the restaurant? She heard they served a great purl-af.
  69. Why did the yarn go to the psychiatrist? It had split ends.
  70. What did the knitter say to the thread? “Don’t you dare go off on a tangent!”
  71. Why did the knitter go to the zoo? She wanted to see the woolly mammoth.
  72. How do knitters meditate? They go into a purl trance.
  73. What do you call a knitting detective? Sherlock Homespun.
  74. Why are knitters good at martial arts? They’ve mastered the art of the purl.
  75. Why did the knitting needle go to the museum? It wanted to see the art of weaving.
  76. Why do knitters never lose at Monopoly? They know how to play their cards knitly.
  77. Why did the yarn go to the gym? It wanted to get in ‘knit’ shape.
  78. Why did the knitting needle get a time-out? It wouldn’t stop poking around.
  79. How do knitters stay fit? They do ‘yarn’ aerobics.
  80. Why did the knitting needle get promoted? It had a point.
  81. Why don’t knitters go to jail? They know how to weave their way out.
  82. What do you call a knitting superhero? Captain Ameri-knit.
  83. How do knitters stay organized? They keep their life in stitches.
  84. Why did the knitter bring her work to the concert? She heard the band had a great ‘knit’ beat.
  85. What do you call a knitting sorcerer? A yarn magician.
  86. Why don’t knitters get lost in the forest? They follow the yarn trail.
  87. What do you call a knitting movie star? Yarnold Schwarzenegger.
  88. Why do knitters always know the time? Their clocks are ‘stitch’ perfect.
  89. What did the yarn say to the knitting needle at the disco? “You make my world go ’round!”
  90. Why do knitters love camping? They get to knit by the fireside.
  91. Why did the yarn go to the doctor? It had a splitting headache.
  92. What did the knitter say to the mean thread? “You’re on a slippery slope.”
  93. Why did the yarn refuse to play hide and seek? It didn’t want to be left hanging.
  94. What’s a knitter’s favorite animal? The Woolly Sheep.
  95. What do you call a knitting astronaut? A space-stitcher.
  96. Why did the knitter go to the boxing match? She wanted to see a real ‘punchline’.
  97. Why don’t knitters make good thieves? They always leave a thread behind.
  98. How do knitters solve problems? They knit them out.
  99. What do you call a knitting TV show? Knitflix.
  100. Why do knitters love philosophy? They get to ponder the threads of life.
  101. What did the knitting needle say to the thread at the wedding? “I do.”
  102. Why do knitters never play hide and seek? They’re always spotted with their knitting bags.
  103. What’s a knitter’s favorite type of car? A Woolswagen.
  104. Why did the knitting needle join the circus? It loved walking the tightrope.
  105. What do you call a knitting rock star? Knit Jagger.
  106. Why did the knitting needle get the lead role in the play? It had the best lines.
  107. How do knitters predict the weather? They feel the ‘wool’ wind.
  108. What’s a knitter’s favorite game? Yarnopoly.
  109. What did the yarn say to the knitting needle in the restaurant? “You complete me.”
  110. Why was the knitting needle always in the limelight? It was never dull.
  111. What do you call a knitting mountain climber? Sherpa Stitcher.
  112. Why did the knitting needle always win at chess? It knew all the right moves.
  113. What’s a knitter’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal – they love those knitting needles!
  114. Why do knitters love going to the bakery? They love the smell of fresh ‘buns’ and yarn.
  115. What did the yarn say to the knitting needle at the beach? “You’re so hot you could melt!”
  116. Why did the knitting needle get all the attention at the party? It was the sharpest one there.
  117. What do you call a knitting teacher? A knit-structor.
  118. Why did the knitting needle get an award? It was outstanding in its field.
  119. What’s a knitter’s favorite book? War and Purls.
  120. Why did the knitting needle always get picked first in gym class? It was sharp.
  121. What do you call a knitting superhero? The Incredible Knit.
  122. Why do knitters never miss a TV show? They have it on knitflix and chill.
  123. Why did the knitting needle always finish its homework? It was sharp.
  124. How do knitters make their soup? They stir it with a knitting needle.
  125. Why do knitters make good musicians? They always know the right pitch.
  126. What do you call a knitting scientist? Albert Einskein.
  127. Why do knitters love roller coasters? They love the loops.
  128. Why did the knitting needle join a sports team? It loved the teamwork.
  129. What’s a knitter’s favorite city? Purlsinki.
  130. Why do knitters love science? They love unraveling the mysteries of the universe.
  131. What’s a knitter’s favorite type of fruit? A purl-megranate.
  132. Why did the knitting needle become a movie star? It was always in the spotlight.
  133. What do you call a knitting athlete? A wool jumper.
  134. Why do knitters make good painters? They always see the bigger picture.
  135. What’s a knitter’s favorite board game? Yarns and Ladders.
  136. Why do knitters love gardens? They love seeing nature’s threads.
  137. What do you call a knitting politician? A politi-knitter.
  138. Why did the knitting needle become a chef? It loved stirring things up.
  139. What’s a knitter’s favorite superhero? Spiderman, because he spins the best webs!
  140. Why did the knitting needle become a writer? It had a sharp wit.
  141. What do you call a knitting poet? A wordsmith and a weaver.
  142. Why do knitters love cooking shows? They love the recipe unravel.
  143. What’s a knitter’s favorite vegetable? Yarnichokes.
  144. Why did the knitting needle become a teacher? It had a sharp mind.
  145. What do you call a knitting spy? James Bond, licensed to knit.
  146. Why do knitters make good lawyers? They can always find the loopholes.
  147. What’s a knitter’s favorite breakfast? A yarn muffin.
  148. Why did the knitting needle become a gardener? It loved sowing seeds.
  149. What do you call a knitting vampire? Count Knitcula.
  150. Why do knitters love space travel? They’re always aiming for the stars, one stitch at a time.

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