150 kidney stone jokes

1. Why do kidney stones never go to parties? Because they don’t want to pass!
2. What did the kidney stone say to the bladder? “I’m just passing through.”
3. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite type of music? Rock and roll!
4. Why don’t kidney stones make good roommates? They never clean up, they just move from place to place.
5. Why was the kidney stone a great mathematician? Because it could always find the path of least resistance.
6. Why do kidney stones hate playing chess? They’re always getting cornered.
7. What’s a kidney stone’s least favorite game? Passing the parcel.
8. Why was the kidney stone a good soldier? Because it never leaves a man behind.
9. What did the doctor say to the kidney stone? “You’re grounded!”
10. Why did the kidney stone break up with its girlfriend? It felt too pressured.
11. What did the kidney say to the stone? “We’re done, I can’t handle the pressure anymore!”
12. Why was the kidney stone not invited to the family reunion? Because it always makes a scene.
13. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite novel? “A Passage to India.”
14. Why did the kidney stone go to therapy? It had trouble letting go.
15. Why are kidney stones bad at basketball? They can’t make a pass.
16. Why are kidney stones always late? They can never pass on time.
17. Why did the kidney stone get arrested? For trespassing.
18. Why was the kidney stone a good detective? It leaves no stone unturned.
19. What did the kidney stone say to the urologist? “I can’t seem to find my way out!”
20. Why are kidney stones not good swimmers? They sink like a stone.
21. Why don’t kidney stones make good comedians? Their delivery is always painful.
22. Why was the kidney stone a bad actor? It could never make a smooth exit.
23. Why was the kidney stone jealous of the bladder stone? It had a larger living space.
24. Why are kidney stones like stars? You don’t want either falling on you.
25. Why did the kidney stone go on a diet? It was afraid of getting too big.
26. Why do kidney stones make terrible tenants? They refuse to move out.
27. Why was the kidney stone a bad artist? It couldn’t find its medium.
28. Why are kidney stones like politicians? They cause a lot of pain before they pass.
29. Why was the kidney stone a bad tourist? It kept getting lost.
30. Why don’t kidney stones make good magicians? They always reveal their trick.
31. Why did the kidney stone fail its driving test? It couldn’t make a proper pass.
32. Why did the kidney stone quit its job? It didn’t like to be under pressure.
33. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite movie? “Gone with the Wind.”
34. Why did the kidney stone never get promoted? It couldn’t pass the test.
35. What do kidney stones and exams have in common? They both are hard to pass.
36. Why was the kidney stone kicked off the football team? It couldn’t make a pass.
37. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite day of the week? Sunday, because it doesn’t have to pass anything.
38. Why don’t kidney stones make good writers? Their stories are too hard to follow.
39. Why do kidney stones make terrible secret agents? They always get caught.
40. Why was the kidney stone unhappy at the beach? Because it wasn’t a pebble.
41. Why did the kidney stone get fired from the post office? It couldn’t deliver.
42. Why was the kidney stone a terrible dancer? It had no rhythm, it just went with the flow.
43. What did the kidney stone write in its diary? “Another day, another delay!”
44. Why don’t kidney stones make good musicians? Their tunes are too hard to catch.
45. Why did the kidney stone join the gym? It needed to work on its form.
46. Why do kidney stones fail in hide and seek? They always stand out.
47. Why did the kidney stone lose the race? It couldn’t take the pressure.
48. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite drink? Hard lemonade.
49. What did the kidney stone say to its friend? “I’m having a hard time here!”
50. Why do kidney stones never win at poker? They always have a tell.
51. Why don’t kidney stones get married? They can’t commit to passing the ring.
52. Why did the kidney stone not get the job? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
53. Why was the kidney stone bad at golf? It couldn’t make a hole in one.
54. Why do kidney stones hate elevators? Too much up and down movement.
55. What’s a kidney stone’s least favorite ride at the amusement park? The rollercoaster.
56. Why are kidney stones bad at baseball? They always strike out.
57. Why did the kidney stone go to school? To become a geologist.
58. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite subject? Geography, it loves to travel.
59. Why are kidney stones terrible at soccer? They always miss the goal.
60. Why did the kidney stone join the debate team? It wanted to rock the opposition.
61. Why do kidney stones hate yoga? Too much twisting and turning.
62. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite sport? Rock climbing.
63. Why was the kidney stone bad at hide-and-seek? It was always the last one found.
64. Why did the kidney stone get a time-out? It wouldn’t follow the flow.
65. Why are kidney stones bad at board games? They can’t follow the rules.
66. Why was the kidney stone unsuccessful in business? It was too rigid.
67. Why did the kidney stone never join a choir? It couldn’t hit the high notes.
68. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite song? “Hard to Handle.”
69. Why don’t kidney stones make good detectives? They can’t crack the case.
70. Why did the kidney stone go to the casino? It had a rocky start.
71. Why are kidney stones bad at poker? They can’t bluff.
72. Why was the kidney stone a terrible DJ? It couldn’t get the party going.
73. Why do kidney stones make bad friends? They’re always blocking communication.
74. Why was the kidney stone a poor magician? It couldn’t pull off the disappearing act.
75. Why do kidney stones hate roller coasters? They’re afraid of a sudden drop.

That’s the half-time break.

Please note, these jokes are all in good fun and meant to lighten the mood, but kidney stones can cause severe discomfort and medical complications.

It’s essential to see a doctor if you suspect you have one.

Let’s continue!

76. Why did the kidney stone become a philosopher? It wanted to ponder life’s hard questions.
77. Why was the kidney stone a terrible surfer? It kept sinking.
78. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite TV show? “Breaking Bad.”
79. Why don’t kidney stones make good poets? Their lines are too hard to understand.
80. Why was the kidney stone a poor salesman? It couldn’t make a deal.
81. Why was the kidney stone bad at cooking? It always made things too salty.
82. Why do kidney stones hate escalators? They make things move too fast.
83. Why was the kidney stone a terrible gardener? It couldn’t grow anything.
84. Why did the kidney stone join the orchestra? It wanted to be a rock star.
85. Why did the kidney stone never get a haircut? It was afraid of sharp objects.
86. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite dessert? Rocky road ice cream.
87. Why don’t kidney stones make good teachers? They can’t pass on knowledge.
88. Why was the kidney stone a terrible bartender? It couldn’t mix drinks.
89. Why are kidney stones bad at archery? They can’t hit the target.
90. Why did the kidney stone join a rock band? It wanted to be in the Rolling Stones.
91. Why did the kidney stone visit the museum? It wanted to blend in.
92. Why don’t kidney stones make good goalkeepers? They always let things pass.
93. Why did the kidney stone not go to the concert? It didn’t like rock music.
94. Why are kidney stones bad at giving speeches? They always choke.
95. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite holiday? Easter, it loves the egg hunts.
96. Why don’t kidney stones make good scientists? They don’t like fluid dynamics.
97. Why did the kidney stone not get a pet? It couldn’t handle another rock.
98. Why was the kidney stone a bad secretary? It couldn’t handle the paperwork.
99. Why did the kidney stone never go to the beach? It didn’t want to be mistaken for a pebble.
100. Why are kidney stones terrible hikers? They get lost easily.
101. What’s a kidney stone’s favorite book? “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.”
102. Why did the kidney stone fail at basketball? It couldn’t make a good shot.
103. Why did the kidney stone not go on a date? It was afraid of getting attached.
104. Why don’t kidney stones make good life coaches? They always give hard advice.
105. Why was the kidney stone a terrible baker? It couldn’t make soft dough.
106. Why did the kidney stone never become a chef? It was too salty.
107. Why did the kidney stone not join the circus? It didn’t like being the center of attention.
108. Why did the kidney stone go to the cinema? It wanted to see “The Rock.”
109. Why was the kidney stone a poor journalist? It couldn’t get the scoop.
110. Why don’t kidney stones make good storytellers? Their tales are too hard to follow.
111. Why did the kidney stone never become a runner? It couldn’t take the heat.
112. Why did the kidney stone go to the opera? It wanted to see “The Rock Cycle.”
113. Why was the kidney stone a terrible fisherman? It always let things slip.
114. Why don’t kidney stones make good philosophers? They’re too rigid in their thinking.
115. Why did the kidney stone never become a sailor? It couldn’t go with the flow.
116. Why was the kidney stone a poor architect? It couldn’t design fluid spaces.
117. Why did the kidney stone never join the police? It couldn’t stand the pressure.
118. Why did the kidney stone not become a lawyer? It couldn’t handle the case.
119. Why don’t kidney stones make good film directors? Their scenes are too hard to follow.
120. Why did the kidney stone never become a pilot? It didn’t like turbulence.
121. Why did the kidney stone never join the military? It couldn’t pass the physical.
122. Why did the kidney stone go to the art gallery? It wanted to see “The Scream.”
123. Why was the kidney stone a poor boxer? It couldn’t take a hit.
124. Why did the kidney stone not become a dancer? It couldn’t move fluidly.
125. Why don’t kidney stones make good engineers? They’re always blocking the path.
126. Why did the kidney stone never become a doctor? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
127. Why did the kidney stone not become an astronaut? It didn’t want to be lost in space.
128. Why did the kidney stone never become a firefighter? It didn’t like water.
129. Why did the kidney stone not become a photographer? It couldn’t capture the moment.
130. Why was the kidney stone a poor comedian? It couldn’t deliver the punchline.
131. Why did the kidney stone never become a politician? It couldn’t handle the criticism.
132. Why did the kidney stone not become a singer? It couldn’t hit the high notes.
133. Why did the kidney stone never become a teacher? It couldn’t pass on knowledge.
134. Why did the kidney stone not become a bus driver? It didn’t like the bumps.
135. Why was the kidney stone a poor mechanic? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
136. Why did the kidney stone never become a builder? It couldn’t lay the foundation.
137. Why did the kidney stone never become a pilot? It couldn’t handle turbulence.
138. Why did the kidney stone never become a chef? It couldn’t stand the heat.
139. Why did the kidney stone not become a painter? It couldn’t blend in.
140. Why was the kidney stone a poor athlete? It couldn’t take the strain.
141. Why did the kidney stone never become a gardener? It didn’t like water.
142. Why did the kidney stone not become a tailor? It couldn’t handle the needle.
143. Why was the kidney stone a poor performer? It couldn’t handle the stage.
144. Why did the kidney stone never become a judge? It couldn’t pass a verdict.
145. Why did the kidney stone not become a writer? It couldn’t create flow.
146. Why was the kidney stone a poor actor? It couldn’t deliver the lines.
147. Why did the kidney stone never become a nurse? It couldn’t handle the stress.
148. Why did the kidney stone not become a DJ? It couldn’t keep the beat.
149. Why was the kidney stone a poor electrician? It couldn’t handle the current.
150. Why did the kidney stone never become a vet? It didn’t like animals passing by.