71 dallas cowboys jokes
Sure, I’ll do my best to create some humorous, light-hearted, and good-natured Dallas Cowboys jokes.
I hope you find these amusing:
- Why did the Dallas Cowboys bring a ladder to the bar? Because they can’t get past the first round.
- How do you know if a Cowboys fan is a baker? They’re always talking about turnovers.
- Why did the Cowboys fan bring a ruler to the game? He heard there’s a “yard” in football.
- Why did the Dallas Cowboys start a gardening club? They’re excellent at planting the ball.
- What do the Cowboys and a possum have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
- Why did the Cowboy become a gardener? Because he kept throwing away the seeds of victory.
- Why don’t the Cowboys drink tea? Because the Giants have all the cups.
- How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Dallas? Anywhere else and it would’ve been a teethbrush.
- What do Cowboys fans use for birth control? Their personalities.
- Why are the Cowboys like a cheap steak? They’re tough to chew on and leave a bad taste in your mouth.
- Why did the Cowboy go to the bakery? He heard he could find a good “roll-out” there.
- How does a Cowboy fan change a light bulb? He doesn’t. He just talks about how good the old one was.
- Why don’t Cowboys make good detectives? They can never pick off anything.
- Why did the Cowboys bring a broom to the game? They’re used to getting swept.
- Why are the Cowboys like a three-pin plug? They’re useless in Europe.
- What’s the difference between the Cowboys and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
- How do you stop a Dallas Cowboy from charging? You take away his credit card.
- Why do Cowboys fans never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always on the losing side.
- What do the Cowboys and a Chick-fil-A manager have in common? Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
- How does a Cowboys fan’s brain cell die? Alone.
- Why don’t Cowboys players ever get a speeding ticket? They never go fast enough to get one.
- Why do the Cowboys always carry a map? Because they keep losing their way to the endzone.
- What do Cowboys fans and a bottle of beer have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up.
- Why are the Cowboys like my neighbors? They can’t pick up a single yard.
- Why did the Cowboy go to the bank? He wanted to get his “quarter back”.
- How is a Cowboys fan like a baby? They’re always whining and crying.
- Why can’t the Cowboys play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs.
- How many Cowboys does it take to change a tire? One, unless it’s a blowout, then they all show up.
- Why are the Cowboys like a grizzly bear? Every fall they go into hibernation.
- Why did the Cowboy bring a pencil to the game? To draw up some plans on how not to fumble.
- Why do the Cowboys always lose at chess? They’ve lost too many knights.
- Why are the Cowboys like a bad student? They’re always dropping the ball.
- What do you call a Cowboys player with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.
- Why did the Cowboy go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw a win.
- How is a Cowboys fan different from a baby? The baby will stop whining after a while.
- Why is it so windy in Texas? Because the Cowboys blow so much.
- Why did the Cowboys bring a hot sauce to the game? They heard the defense was too bland.
- How many Cowboys players does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven. One to change it and ten to stand around and watch.
- What do you call a Cowboys fan with half a brain? Gifted.
- Why do the Cowboys always play in the dome? They like to cover their heads in shame.
- How is a Cowboys fan like a computer? They both need to refresh to get an update.
- Why do the Cowboys never play billiards? Too many bad breaks.
- Why did the Cowboy bring a bucket to the game? He wanted to carry his hopes and dreams.
- Why are the Cowboys like a political debate? Lots of promises but no delivery.
- What do you call a Dallas Cowboy in the Super Bowl? A referee.
- Why did the Cowboys go fishing? They heard they could catch some “passes” there.
- Why don’t the Cowboys eat cereal? They choke whenever they get near a “bowl”.
- Why are the Cowboys like my email? They can’t catch anything.
- How are the Cowboys like a pair of flip-flops? They always flip and flop when it matters most.
- Why are the Cowboys like a battery? They’re rarely positive.
- Why do the Cowboys always carry a map? Because they can never find the end zone.
- What’s the difference between a Cowboys fan and a skydiver? The skydiver actually hits the ground running.
- Why did the Cowboy go to the car wash? He heard they were good at cleaning up messes.
- How many Cowboys does it take to win a Super Bowl? Nobody knows yet.
- What do you call a Cowboys player on the moon? A problem.
- Why are the Cowboys like an old washing machine? They lose all their change.
- What’s the difference between the Cowboys and my alarm clock? My alarm clock actually wakes up when it needs to.
- Why did the Cowboys bring a soccer ball to the field? They’re not used to handling a real football.
- Why are Cowboys like cornflakes? Good for a quarter then soggy by the end.
- Why did the Cowboy go to school? He needed some extra “points”.
- What do Cowboys fans and mosquitoes have in common? They’re annoying but harmless.
- Why is the football field like a bakery for the Cowboys? They keep rolling out the dough but can’t bake a win.
- Why did the Cowboy bring a tennis racket to the game? He’s more used to serving than scoring.
- Why are the Cowboys like a Christmas tree? They’re all lit up but come down after the season.
- How do you know when you’re standing next to a Cowboys fan? When everything’s going over their head.
- Why did the Cowboys become musicians? They know how to throw some sick “beats”.
- Why are the Cowboys like a pizza? They’re okay warm, but terrible cold.
- Why did the Cowboy bring a sandwich to the game? He’s better at making subs than touchdowns.
- What do you call a Dallas Cowboy on a treadmill? An energy saver.
- Why are the Cowboys like a deck of cards? They always need a good shuffle.
- Why did the Cowboy go to a museum? He wanted to see what a trophy looked like.