57+ cucumber jokes
- Why did the cucumber turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- How do you start a cucumber race? On your mark, get set, dill!
- Why did the cucumber refuse to laugh at the tomato’s joke? It was feeling a little green.
- What did the cucumber say to the pickle? Stop gherkin around!
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite kind of math? Square roots!
- What did the cucumber say when it saw the tennis game? That’s quite a racket!
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of movie? Anything that’s vine-rated.
- Why did the cucumber get an award? Because it was pickled with success.
- Why did the cucumber go to the party? To have a gherkin time!
- What did the cucumber say to the knife? You’re cutting edge!
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite song? “Cool as a Cucumber” by the Beach Beans!
- What did the cucumber say when it bumped into the pickle? Long time, no dill!
- Why did the cucumber go to the art show? It heard there were some great still-lifes.
- What do you call a cucumber that tells jokes? A pickled comedian!
- Why was the cucumber bad at baseball? It was always getting pickled.
- What did the cucumber say to the ranch dressing? Let’s mix things up!
- What do you call a cucumber that got a promotion? The big dill!
- Why did the cucumber become a lawyer? It heard the case was in a pickle.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of event? A vine-opening.
- Why was the cucumber jealous of the zucchini? It was always in the limelight.
- What did the cucumber say to the pepper? You’re hot stuff!
- Why did the cucumber go to the spa? It needed some peel time.
- How does a cucumber become a great musician? By staying in pick-le.
- What did the cucumber say to the salad? Lettuce have a good time!
- Why did the cucumber wear sunglasses? It didn’t want to get picked out.
- Why did the cucumber go to the bar? It wanted a gin and tonic on the rocks, hold the gin!
- What did the cucumber say to the corn? Let’s get all ears.
- How does a cucumber feel after a long day? Dill-apidated.
- Why did the cucumber cross the road? It was trying to escape the salad bar.
- What do you call a cucumber that likes to start fights? A pickled instigator.
- What did the cucumber say to the lettuce at the party? “You’re a head above the rest!”
- Why didn’t the cucumber get the job? It didn’t have the right dill-set.
- What do you call a cucumber who loves to read? A page turnip.
- Why was the cucumber so good at poker? It always had a poker dill.
- Why did the cucumber go to the bank? To cash in its green.
- How did the cucumber get to the garden party? It rode on a vine.
- What do you call a cucumber on a diet? A lean green machine.
- Why did the cucumber join the gym? It wanted to work on its peels.
- What do you call a cucumber with a lot of knowledge? A well-read-ish.
- Why was the cucumber always invited to parties? Because it’s always cool!
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite dance? The salsa!
- What did the cucumber say to the watermelon? You’re one in a melon.
- How do you compliment a cucumber? Tell it it’s vine.
- Why did the cucumber go to school? To become a saladictorian.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of play? Anything with a good twist at the end.
- Why was the cucumber on the computer? It was updating its vine-ware.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s gone bad? A dill-inquent.
- Why don’t cucumbers get stressed? They just dill with it.
- What did the cucumber say to the potato? Let’s get mashed together!
- Why was the cucumber a great reporter? It always had the fresh scoop.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beet!
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of exercise? Crunches.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s good at golf? A hole in dill.
- Why did the cucumber go to the opera? It had great taste in composters.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s an actor? A star of the salad screen.
- What did the cucumber say to the olive? Olive you!
- Why did the cucumber never get lost? It always knew where its roots were.
- How does a cucumber apologize? It dills with it.
- Why did the cucumber join the navy? It wanted to serve on a submarine.
- Why was the cucumber proud of its child? It turned out to be a great dill.
- Why did the cucumber refuse to play cards? It was afraid of being dealt a bad hand.
- What do you call a cucumber who’s a good listener? An ear of corn.
- What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper? You’re bell of the ball!
- Why did the cucumber become a teacher? Because it had the right crunch-ials.
- Why was the cucumber a good writer? It always knew the plot’s twists and turns.
- Why did the cucumber get the lead role in the play? Because it could make people laugh till they’re pickle!
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite part of a house? The vine-dows.
- Why did the cucumber visit the psychiatrist? It couldn’t dill with its problems anymore.
- Why was the cucumber arrested? For stalking in the vegetable aisle.
- Why did the cucumber go to Hollywood? It had dreams of being a star cucumber.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of dog? A dill-matian.
- Why did the cucumber go to the bakery? It heard the bread was fresh-baked.
- Why was the cucumber a good detective? It always had a hunch.
- What did the cucumber say to the avocado? Let’s guac and roll.
- Why was the cucumber late for the meeting? It got stuck in a jam.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of book? A mystery with lots of twists and turns.
- Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the seeds.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a great artist? A Picasso.
- What did the cucumber say to the carrot? You’re one of a kind.
- Why was the cucumber good at chess? It always kept its opponents in check.
- Why did the cucumber get a divorce? It couldn’t dill with its partner’s nonsense.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of weather? Light drizzles.
- Why did the cucumber refuse to play the piano? It didn’t want to end up in a pickle.
- What do you call a cucumber that can fix anything? A handy dill.
- Why did the cucumber get a haircut? It was time for a fresh start.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s good at drawing? A sketch-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber start a blog? It had a lot to dish out.
- Why was the cucumber a good diplomat? It knew how to pick its battles.
- Why did the cucumber never argue? It preferred to squash its differences.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of clothing? Vine-tage.
- Why did the cucumber go to the orchestra? It wanted to hear the sweet music of the peas.
- Why did the cucumber go to the casino? It felt lucky.
- Why did the cucumber join the circus? It was a real acrobat.
- What do you call a cucumber that tells lies? A dill fibber.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of transportation? A bike-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber a great leader? It knew how to get to the root of the problem.
- Why did the cucumber refuse to debate? It didn’t want to enter into a heated argument.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a movie star? A film-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber refuse to play in the soccer game? It didn’t want to be in a pickle.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a good singer? A song-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber apply for the job? It thought it was a big dill.
- What do you call a cucumber in a rock band? A jam-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber a great gardener? It had green fingers.
- Why did the cucumber go to the museum? It loved history.
- Why did the cucumber become a gardener? It wanted to be close to its roots.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of pie? A pickle pie.
- Why did the cucumber go on a diet? It wanted to trim down.
- What’s a cucumber’s favorite type of vacation? A beach holiday.
- Why did the cucumber become a chef? It had a taste for good food.
- Why did the cucumber get into a fight? It was a real hothead.
- Why did the cucumber wear a mask? It didn’t want to be recognized.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a judge? A just-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber go to the beach? It wanted to get a little sun.
- Why did the cucumber get a watch? It wanted to keep track of thyme.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s an inventor? An idea-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber a good baker? It knew all the right ingredients.
- Why did the cucumber go to the zoo? It loved to watch the animals.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a scientist? A lab-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber get a telescope? It loved stargazing.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a director? A film-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber go to the park? It loved the fresh air.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a philosopher? A think-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber always in the news? It was always in the limelight.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a novelist? A write-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber always carry a pen? It was always full of bright ideas.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a teacher? A teach-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber always carry a map? It loved exploring.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s an engineer? A tech-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber go to the gym? It wanted to stay in shape.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a poet? A verse-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber always in the front row? It wanted the best view.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a journalist? A news-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber become a sailor? It loved the sea.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a painter? An art-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber become a detective? It loved solving mysteries.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a tailor? A stitch-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber always in the library? It loved reading.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a carpenter? A build-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber go to the café? It loved coffee.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a gardener? A grow-cumber.
- Why was the cucumber always seen at concerts? It loved music.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a lawyer? A law-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber become a writer? It loved stories.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a photographer? A shot-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber become a florist? It loved flowers.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a mathematician? A sum-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber go to the supermarket? It loved grocery shopping.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s an athlete? A sport-cumber.
- Why did the cucumber join a book club? It loved discussing literature.
- What do you call a cucumber that’s a philosopher? A thought-cumber.