57+ couch jokes

Why did the couch stop running? Because it finally caught its recline.
How does a sofa keep in shape? It does sit-ups every day.
Why was the sofa so bashful? Because it always blushes when it sees a cushion.
Why did the couch go to therapy? It couldn’t handle being a sectional anymore.
How did the couch propose to the armchair? It said, “Will you cushion the blow and marry me?”
Why don’t couches ever get lost? They always find their way back to the living room.
Why was the couch a bad fisherman? Because it always let the good ones sofa away.
How do you know a couch is having a bad day? It’s feeling a little sofa and low.
Why did the psychiatrist become a sofa? He wanted to get more in couch with his feelings.
What do you call a couch that eats potato chips? A crisp-settee!
Why was the sofa in the orchestra? It had great composure.
Why did the couch go to the bar? It wanted to feel like a barcalounger.
What do you call a couch that is used in a bakery? A bun-kle up.
Why did the couch go to the dentist? It had a plush ache.
Why did the couch join a rock band? It heard they were looking for more cushioning sound.
Why did the couch go to school? It wanted to learn more about the Ottoman Empire.
What did the couch say to the coffee table? “I feel sofa, so good when I’m with you!”
Why did the couch call a detective? It had a missing spring.
Why did the couch become a politician? It wanted to push for more cushion in the budget.
What do you call a singing couch? A sofa-nardo!
Why couldn’t the couch play cards? It kept getting dealt a bad hand-rest.
What do you call a bad-tempered couch? A sofurious!
What is a couch’s favorite type of food? Sofa-king good!
What is a couch’s favorite time of the year? Spring, because it always bounces back.
How did the love-seat end its relationship with the couch? It said, “I need more space!”
Why did the couch go to the spa? It needed some reupholstering.
Why did the couch get a job? It was tired of being a lounge-about.
Why didn’t the couch go to the party? It was a little sofa-conscious.
What did the old couch say to the new one? “You’ve got a lot to cushion up to.”
Why do couches hate playing hide-and-seek? Because they always get sat on.
How does a sofa spend its vacation? On a recliner in the tropics.
What’s a couch’s favorite subject? Ottoman history.
Why don’t couches make good detectives? They always let people slip through the cushions.
What’s a couch’s favorite dance? The cush-push!
Why do couches make terrible secret keepers? Because they always spill the beans (bag).
Why did the couch get kicked out of the movie? It wouldn’t stop reclining during the show.
What did the sofa say to the rug? “I’ve got you covered.”
What do you call a couch that moonlights as a singer? A lounge performer.
Why don’t couches make good comedians? They always cushion the punchline.
How does a couch ask for food? It says, “Can I have a bit to eat, love seat?”
Why was the couch so good at poker? It always had a poker face on.
Why did the couch go to the gym? It didn’t want to be a slouch anymore.
What’s a couch’s least favorite exercise? Leg lifts.
Why did the couch cross the road? Because it was being moved.
How do couches say goodbye? “See you sofa-r!”
Why are sofas bad at football? They always fumble the throw pillows.
Why did the sofa get a ticket? It was parked illegally.
Why was the couch happy at the party? Everyone wanted to sit with it.
Why did the sofa break up with the chair? It felt too suffocated.
What is a couch’s favorite song? “Lean on Me.”
Why did the couch go to the doctor? It had a case of loose springs.
Why did the couch go to the library? It was looking for a good book-rest.
How do you know a couch is tired? It starts to sag.
Why was the couch a good manager? It could always cushion criticism.
What do you call a couch that talks back? A lip sofa.
Why did the couch join the army? It heard about the comfortable bunks.
Why was the couch always chosen for plays? It was great at dramatic reclines.
What do you call a couch in Hollywood? A casting couch.
What do you call a couch in a garden? A plant rest.
Why did the couch go to the ballet? It loved the leap-seats.
Why did the couch get in trouble in school? It wouldn’t stop reclining in class.
Why did the couch break up with the chair? It was feeling too sat upon.
What’s a couch’s favorite movie? “Sit Happens.”
What did the couch say to the lamp? “You light up my life.”
How do you know when a couch is lying? When it’s not straight-backed.
What did the couch say to the pillow? “You’ve got my back.”
Why did the couch go to the casino? It heard about the high-rollers.
How do you compliment a couch? “You’re sofa-king comfortable!”
What did the couch say to the old chair? “You’re still reclinin’ and shinin’!”
Why did the couch join a social club? It wanted to feel more sat-on.
What do you call a nervous couch? A jitter-seat.
What’s a couch’s favorite drink? A soft drink.
Why did the couch go to the therapist? It was feeling too reclined on.
What do you call a couch that likes to travel? A rove-fa.
What’s a couch’s favorite place to visit? A recline of the times.
What do you call a couch with a lot of money? A rich-liner.
Why did the couch go to a comedy club? It wanted to be a stand-up sofa.
What do you call a couch that throws a tantrum? A sofurious.
What’s a couch’s favorite exercise? A sofa stretch.
What do you call a couch on a diet? A lean-back.
Why was the couch always in trouble? It had too many loose covers.
What did the couch say to the coffee table? “You complete me.”
Why did the couch go to the beach? It wanted to lounge in the sun.
What’s a couch’s favorite type of music? Lounge music.
Why did the couch get promoted? It never folds under pressure.
Why did the couch join a band? It wanted to be a rocker.
What do you call a couch that’s really good at math? A smart seat.
Why did the couch go to Hollywood? It wanted to be a movie star.
What do you call a couch that’s a good cook? A grill lounge.
Why did the couch start a blog? It wanted to share its thoughts from the living room.
Why don’t couches work in offices? They hate the 9-to-5 grind.
Why did the couch get a job at the circus? It always had a spring in its step.
What did the couch say to the television? “I’ve got the best seat in the house.”
What’s a couch’s favorite sport? Football, it loves the quarterback.
What do you call a couch that loves to party? A sofa-shaker.
Why did the couch go on a date? It was looking for a little sofa-mance.
Why did the couch get a ticket? It was caught speeding on the living room floor.
What’s a couch’s favorite hobby? Just lounging around.
Why was the couch popular at school? It was always in the chill-out zone.
Why did the couch get a pet? It wanted a lounge lizard.
Why did the couch apply for a job? It wanted to be an office chair.
What do you call a couch that loves gardening? A flower lounge.
Why did the couch become a teacher? It was great at comfortable lessons.
Why was the couch in the gym? It was working on its plush-ups.
What did the couch say to the chair? “Don’t cushion the blow, just tell me.”
Why was the couch a great boxer? It was a knockout in every round.
Why did the couch become a wrestler? It wanted to be a heavyweight champion.
Why did the couch join the police force? It wanted to crack down on illegal recliners.
Why did the couch become a baker? It wanted to knead the dough.
What do you call a couch that knows karate? A black-belt lounger.
Why was the couch a good author? It knew how to spin a good yarn.
What did the couch say to the love seat? “We’ve got to stick together.”
Why did the couch go to the art gallery? It had an appreciation for fine art.
Why did the couch become a weather forecaster? It could always predict a chill.
Why was the couch a great friend? It was always there for comfort.
Why did the couch become a philosopher? It always had deep-seated thoughts.
What do you call a couch in space? An astro-lounger.
Why was the couch a good swimmer? It always floated above water.
What do you call a couch that can do magic? A charm-lounger.
Why did the couch start a diet? It wanted to slim down.
Why did the couch become a sailor? It loved the rocking motion of the sea.
Why did the couch become a dancer? It loved to twist and turn.
What do you call a couch at a concert? A front-row seater.
Why was the couch a good architect? It knew all about structural support.
Why did the couch join the football team? It was good at being a back rest.
Why did the couch become a journalist? It always had a scoop.
Why did the couch become a pilot? It wanted to join the jet setters.
Why did the couch start a band? It had an ear for harmony.
Why did the couch join the basketball team? It loved the throw pillows.
Why did the couch start a business? It wanted to be a CEO – Chief Entertainment Officer.
Why did the couch become a carpenter? It loved working with wood.
Why did the couch join the chess club? It wanted to be a king.
What do you call a couch that works in a hospital? A surgical recliner.
Why did the couch join the circus? It loved the ringmaster’s chair.
Why did the couch join a gym? It wanted to get into shape.
Why did the couch become a mechanic? It had a spring in its step.
Why did the couch become a gardener? It loved to plant seeds.
Why did the couch join the navy? It wanted to be a ship’s captain.
What do you call a couch that’s a great baker? A dough sofa.
Why did the couch start a charity? It wanted to give back.
Why did the couch become a chef? It loved to mix ingredients.
Why did the couch become a comedian? It loved to lounge and laugh.
Why did the couch join a band? It wanted to hit the high notes.
Why did the couch become a doctor? It loved to give comfort.
Why did the couch join a book club? It loved to read.
Why did the couch become a judge? It loved to make decisions.
Why did the couch join a choir? It loved to sing.
Why did the couch become a lifeguard? It loved to save lives.
Why did the couch join a tennis club? It loved to serve.
Why did the couch become a farmer? It loved to grow things.

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