132 vet jokes

  1. Why don’t some animals go to the vet?
    • Because they have a pet peeve about it.
  2. What’s a cat’s favorite song at the vet?
    • “Purr-scription Love”
  3. Why was the dog sitting at the vet’s desk?
    • He wanted to be a ‘bark’-clerk.
  4. Why did the cat go to vet school?
    • It wanted to become a purr-amedic.
  5. What did the vet say to the dog with a broken tail?
    • “I see your problem, it just doesn’t wag.”
  6. Why did the vet give the horse a tissue?
    • Because it had a bit of a stable condition.
  7. How does a vet check a crocodile’s temperature?
    • Very, very carefully!
  8. Why did the rabbit go to the vet?
    • Because it had a hare-raising experience.
  9. Why don’t vets play hide and seek with big cats?
    • Because they always find the cheetahs.
  10. Why did the vet start treating fish?
    • He wanted to make a splash in his career.
  11. Why was the bird at the vet so well-behaved?
    • It knew its pecking order.
  12. Why do vets have to be careful around chameleons?
    • They can never find them for their appointments!
  13. How does a vet deal with a sick snake?
    • With scale precision.
  14. Why did the vet go to the opera?
    • To hear the high notes and the hound notes.
  15. Why don’t vets work on robots?
    • Because they can’t deal with any more hardware problems.
  16. Why did the vet go to the desert?
    • To learn about camel-flage.
  17. What do you call a vet with laryngitis?
  18. Why was the vet excited about the owl’s visit?
    • Because it was a hoot.
  19. Why did the dog bark at the vet’s diploma?
    • It was a degree of contention.
  20. Why did the sheep go to the vet?
  21. What do you call a vet who can play the guitar?
    • A pet-strumming expert!
  22. Why do veterinarians make good comedians?
    • Because they always have a ‘vetty’ good punchline.
  23. What did the vet say to the nervous cat?
    • “Don’t be a ‘fraidy cat, it’s just a little hiss-terical.”
  24. Why did the vet cross the road?
    • Because the chicken needed assistance!
  25. Why do vets never go out in the rain?
    • They don’t want to deal with wet fur-casts.
  26. Why was the parrot afraid of the vet?
    • He heard the vet bills talk!
  27. What did the vet give the sick bird?
    • A tweetment.
  28. Why do vets make terrible DJs?
    • They always paws the music.
  29. Why was the elephant at the vet?
    • It had a little trunk trouble.
  30. What do you call a vet who moonlights as a gardener?
    • A plant-animal doctor.
  31. Why did the fish blush at the vet’s office?
    • It saw the ocean’s bottom!
  32. Why do vets make the best detectives?
    • They always find the ‘pooch’-prints.
  33. Why don’t vets treat wild bulls?
    • Because they can’t stand the bull-oney.
  34. What do you call a vet who treats chickens?
    • A ‘clucks’-pert.
  35. Why was the dog shivering at the vet’s office?
    • It had the vet-‘fleas’.
  36. Why did the cat refuse to leave the vet’s office?
    • It was a stay-cat-ic situation.
  37. Why did the vet go to outer space?
    • To treat the Milky Way’s cattle-lites.
  38. Why did the turtle go to the vet?
    • Because it had a shell of a problem.
  39. Why don’t vets treat bees?
    • They don’t want to get involved in ‘buzz’-iness.
  40. Why did the dog sit on the vet’s laptop?
    • He wanted to download the ‘bark’-ing lot.
  41. Why was the vet tired after surgery?
    • It was an ‘op-purr-ation’.
  42. What do you call a vet who also works as a barber?
    • A hair-and-hound specialist.
  43. Why do vets always carry a red pen?
  44. Why did the snake go to the vet?
    • It couldn’t hiss-t off its illness.
  45. Why do vets have a hard time treating octopuses?
    • They always get tangled in their tentacles.
  46. Why did the vet have to treat the snowman?
    • It had a case of frost-‘bite’.
  47. Why do vets make good astronomers?
    • They always keep an eye on the ‘bark’ side of the moon.
  48. Why did the mouse go to the vet?
    • It felt a little squeaky.
  49. What did the vet say to the lonesome frog?
    • “Don’t worry, you’ll find your ‘hop’-ily ever after.”
  50. Why do vets never treat lions in the wild?
    • They can’t stand the ‘mane’ pressure.
  51. Why was the hamster’s appointment so short?
    • It was a brief ‘encage-ment’.
  52. Why did the vet go to the bakery?
    • He heard about the sick ‘dough’-g.
  53. What do you call a vet who treats mythical creatures?
    • A ‘fairy’ good doctor.
  54. Why don’t vets work in the zoo?
    • They don’t like to monkey around.
  55. Why did the duck go to the vet?
    • It felt down.
  56. What do you call a vet who is good at bowling?
    • A ‘strike’-ing professional.
  57. Why do vets have trouble treating zebras?
    • They keep getting confused between the black stripes and the white ones.
  58. Why was the vet afraid of the calendar?
  59. Why do vets dislike springtime?
    • Too many ‘mew’-tant allergies.
  60. What do you call a vet who’s good at gardening?
    • A plant-‘demic’ expert.
  61. Why was the spider at the vet’s?
    • It couldn’t get rid of its web-cough.
  62. Why did the vet visit the art gallery?
    • He wanted to study ‘paw’-traits.
  63. Why did the vet treat the onion?
    • It was feeling ‘peel’-y.
  64. Why did the deer go to the vet?
    • It couldn’t handle the ‘buck’ pressure.
  65. Why do vets make good poets?
    • They always have a ‘tail’ to tell.
  66. Why was the raccoon at thevet’s office?
    • It needed a ‘trash’-fusion.
  67. Why did the dog chew the vet’s degree?
    • It wanted a taste of higher education.
  68. Why don’t vets play cards?
    • Because of cheetahs and card ‘sharks’.
  69. What do you call a vet who treats bats?
    • A ‘wing’-man.
  70. Why did the snail go to the vet?
    • It couldn’t get over its shell shock.
  71. Why was the kangaroo at the vet’s?
    • It had a ‘jump’-ing pain.
  72. What do you call a vet who works on farms?
    • A ‘crop’-doc.
  73. Why was the cat at the vet’s office on Halloween?
    • It wanted to have a ‘boo’-ster shot.
  74. Why did the vet move to the desert?
    • He wanted to treat ‘sand’-wiches.
  75. Why was the squirrel at the vet’s office?
    • It had nut allergies.
  76. Why did the dinosaur go to the vet?
    • It had a Jurassic cough.
  77. Why did the vet put a band on the bird’s leg?
    • He wanted it to be a ‘rock’ star.
  78. Why do vets dislike winter?
    • Because of the ‘brrr’-ds.
  79. Why did the fly go to the vet?
    • It felt ‘buzz’-y.
  80. Why do vets make good chefs?
    • They know their ‘beef’-s.
  81. Why did the vet treat the jack-o-lantern?
    • It had a gourd-eous complexion.
  82. Why was the owl at the vet’s office?
    • It couldn’t give a ‘hoot’.
  83. What do you call a vet who treats snails?
    • A slow-poke.
  84. Why did the antelope go to the vet?
    • It couldn’t handle the ‘antler’-xiety.
  85. Why did the vet treat the tree?
    • It had bark problems.
  86. Why did the dog swallow the vet’s prescription?
    • It was just following doctor’s orders.
  87. Why did the vet go to the beach?
    • He heard about the sea sick seals.
  88. Why did the skunk go to the vet?
    • It needed a scent-imental checkup.
  89. Why don’t vets treat dragons?
    • They can’t handle the heat!
  90. What do you call a vet in the North Pole?
    • An ‘ice’-olated practitioner.
  91. Why did the chicken go to the vet?
    • It felt ‘peck’-ish.
  92. Why did the vet visit the rainbow?
    • He was checking up on the ‘color’-blindness.
  93. Why do vets never treat werewolves?
    • They can’t stand the ‘howl’-ucinations.
  94. What do you call a vet who is also a gymnast?
    • A flip-‘n’-treat expert.
  95. Why did the peacock go to the vet?
    • It had lost its ‘plume’-ing confidence.
  96. Why did the vet go to the orchestra?
    • He was checking on the ‘bass’-et hound.
  97. Why don’t vets work at the circus?
    • It’s too much of a ‘juggle’.
  98. What do you call a vet who plays chess?
    • A ‘check’-up mate.
  99. Why did the porcupine go to the vet?
    • It couldn’t handle the ‘pointy’ issue.
  100. Why did the vet give the cat a pill? – It had a case of the ‘fur’-balls.
  101. Why did the butterfly go to the vet? – It had a ‘flutter’ in its stomach.
  102. Why was the tortoise at the vet’s office? – It had a ‘slow’ pulse.
  103. Why don’t vets like lightning storms? – Too many ‘shock’-ing situations.
  104. What do you call a vet who’s good at cricket? – A ‘bat’-sman.
  105. Why did the vet go to the fish market? – He heard about the ill-egal fish.
  106. Why was the fox at the vet’s office? – It needed a ‘sly’-ence check-up.
  107. Why did the vet treat the teddy bear? – It had a ‘stuff’-y nose.
  108. What do you call a vet who treats ghosts? – A ‘spook’-ealer.
  109. Why did the whale go to the vet? – It felt a ‘splash’ of pain.
  110. Why did the vet treat the letter ‘B’? – It had a case of the ‘buzz’-es.
  111. Why was the flamingo at the vet’s office? – It couldn’t stand on one leg anymore.
  112. Why don’t vets treat mythical beasts? – They can’t figure out their ‘myth’-teries.
  113. What do you call a vet who treats computers? – A tech-nician.
  114. Why did the unicorn go to the vet? – It had a horn-ache.
  115. Why did the vet treat the sunflower? – It had a ‘petal’ pain.
  116. Why did the puppy go to the vet? – It had a ‘ruff’ day.
  117. Why did the vet go to the shoe store? – He heard about the sick ‘sneak’-ers.
  118. Why did the woodpecker go to the vet? – It had a ‘peck’-uliar headache.
  119. Why was the lion at the vet’s office? – It couldn’t handle the ‘roar’-ing pain.
  120. Why did the goat go to the vet? – It had a ‘bleat’-ing heart.
  121. What do you call a vet who treats toys? – A ‘play’-doc.
  122. Why did the seal go to the vet? – It couldn’t ‘flip’-per over its illness.
  123. Why did the vet visit the music concert? – He was checking the ‘bass’-ic health.
  124. Why did the scarecrow go to the vet? – It was feeling ‘straw’-ful.
  125. Why did the vet go to the candy store? – He heard about the sick ‘gum’-my bears.
  126. Why was the donkey at the vet’s office? – It had a ‘hee-haw’-ful cough.
  127. What do you call a vet who treats clocks? – A ‘tick’-doc.
  128. Why did the centipede go to the vet? – It had a ‘foot’-ful of problems.
  129. Why did the vet treat the globe? – It had a ‘world’ of issues.
  130. Why did the panda go to the vet? – It had a ‘bamboo’-zling fever.
  131. Why did the vet treat the egg? – It had a ‘crack’-ling pain.
  132. Why did the vet go to the fruit market? – He heard about the ill ‘apple’-ications.

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