150 tractor jokes

  1. Why did the tractor break up with the lawn mower? Because it found her too cutting!
  2. What does a tractor do at the gym? Plow-lates!
  3. How does a tractor party? It turns up the beet!
  4. Why did the tractor go to therapy? It couldn’t handle its attachments!
  5. Why did the tractor file a police report? It got mow-jacked!
  6. What’s a tractor’s favorite music? Country, because it has great tractors in it!
  7. What’s a tractor’s favorite book? The Great Plow-dy!
  8. Why don’t tractors ever get lost? Because they always follow the furrow!
  9. What did the tractor say to the farmer? “You’re outstanding in your field, but I’m out, standing in your field!”
  10. Why don’t tractors make good secret agents? Because they always leave tracks!
  11. How do you know a tractor is cold? It starts a-corn!
  12. What’s a tractor’s favorite food? Corn, because they can always find it a-maize-ing!
  13. Why don’t tractors work in the city? Because they can’t handle the traffic jam!
  14. Why did the tractor go on a diet? It felt too heavy duty!
  15. What’s a tractor’s favorite dance? The hoedown!
  16. Why was the tractor a great artist? Because it could draw a straight line!
  17. Why are tractors the best comedians? They know all the corn-y jokes!
  18. What did the farmer say to his tractor on Valentine’s Day? “I’m really digging you!”
  19. Why don’t tractors play hide and seek? Because they always stand out in the field!
  20. Why was the tractor a great musician? Because it had great pitch!
  21. What do you call a tractor that likes to take the scenic route? A roam-deere!
  22. What do you call a tractor that can play music? A John Song Deere!
  23. Why did the tractor apply for a job? It wanted to be a field engineer!
  24. What do you call a tractor that can’t decide what to do? A John Deere in headlights!
  25. Why did the tractor join a band? Because it had great range!
  26. Why are tractors great at baseball? They always cover all the bases!
  27. How do you know a tractor is in love? It gets all revved up!
  28. What’s a tractor’s favorite sport? Track and field!
  29. What do you call a tractor that tells tall tales? A John Lyre!
  30. Why are tractors bad at swimming? Because they always sink in the mud!
  31. Why did the tractor get promoted? Because it always gets the job done!
  32. What’s a tractor’s favorite place to hang out? The farm-acy!
  33. What do you call a tractor that’s a fashion icon? A trend-deere!
  34. Why was the tractor a great chef? It always knew how to stir things up!
  35. Why are tractors so calm? Because they’re always grounded!
  36. What did the farmer say to his lazy tractor? “Get moving, or I’ll trade you for a horse!”
  37. Why was the tractor good at soccer? It was great at plowing through the defense!
  38. What’s a tractor’s favorite type of movie? Plow-dunnits!
  39. Why don’t tractors use GPS? Because they always follow the straight and narrow!
  40. Why was the tractor a good businessman? Because it always knew how to turn a field into profit!
  41. What do you call a tractor that’s also a poet? A John Verse!
  42. Why did the tractor win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
  43. Why don’t tractors ever get bored? Because they always have fields to play in!
  44. What’s a tractor’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because of all the angles and lines!
  45. What did the tractor say to the field? “I think we should see other people. You’re too clingy!”
  46. Why was the tractor a good magician? It could make crops disappear!
  47. Why do tractors make poor chefs? They always make a mess in the kitchen!
  48. Why was the tractor good at tennis? Because it had a great backhand!
  49. What do you call a tractor that’s good at singing? A croon-deere!
  50. Why was the tractor a good writer? It always had plenty of plot!
  51. Why do tractors make bad comedians? Because they always crack corny jokes!
  52. What do you call a tractor that can cook? A John Sear!
  53. What’s a tractor’s favorite school subject? Agri-culture!
  54. Why do tractors never get tired? Because they are always re-tired!
  55. Why did the tractor go to school? Because it wanted to be a smart harvester!
  56. What do you call a tractor in a fairy tale? Cindertractor!
  57. Why did the tractor get an award at the film festival? Because it was the best director – it always knew where to go!
  58. How do tractors get their news? From the farmer’s almanac!
  59. Why did the tractor go to the doctor? It was feeling a little run-down!
  60. What’s a tractor’s favorite game to play? Corn-hole!
  61. Why was the tractor good at basketball? It was always in the field!
  62. What do you call a tractor in a band? A John Beat!
  63. Why was the tractor a good detective? It always followed the trail!
  64. What’s a tractor’s favorite weather? Cloudy with a chance of hay bales!
  65. Why don’t tractors use social media? They prefer to work in the field, not the cloud!
  66. What do you call a tractor that loves spicy food? A John Sizzle!
  67. Why are tractors terrible at poker? They always show their hand!
  68. What do you call a tractor that can bake? A John Dough!
  69. What did the farmer say to the tractor during harvest season? “We’re in this together, until the end of the crop!”
  70. Why was the tractor good at football? Because it was always in the field, ready to tackle!
  71. Why do tractors make terrible dancers? They’ve got two left wheels!
  72. Why did the tractor go to the beach? To have some fun in the sunflower field!
  73. Why don’t tractors work at night? They’re afraid of the dark soil!
  74. Why was the tractor a good boxer? Because it was always in the right corner!
  75. What do you call a tractor in a wedding? A married-deere!
  76. Why was the tractor a good bartender? Because it knew how to mix things up!
  77. What’s a tractor’s favorite drink? Tractor-ade!
  78. Why did the tractor fail its driving test? It couldn’t make a clean turn!
  79. Why did the tractor go to the disco? To do the twist and sprout!
  80. What do you call a tractor that plays football? A John Score!
  81. Why did the tractor get an office job? It got tired of the field work!
  82. What do you call a tractor that works in a bakery? A John Yeast!
  83. What do you call a tractor that can’t drive straight? A swerve-deere!
  84. Why did the tractor become a gardener? It wanted to grow its own fuel!
  85. What do you call a tractor that likes to paint? A John Brush!
  86. What did the tractor say to the potato field? “I dig you!”
  87. What do you call a tractor that’s good at chess? A John Checkmate!
  88. Why do tractors make good friends? They always stand by you in the field and in the mud!
  89. Why did the tractor refuse to race? It didn’t want to spin its wheels!
  90. What do you call a tractor with a sunroof? A John Breeze!
  91. Why was the tractor a good basketball player? It knew the lay of the land!
  92. What do you call a tractor that’s a movie star? A John Screen!
  93. Why did the tractor start a blog? It had a lot of ground to cover!
  94. What do you call a tractor in a magic show? A John Trick!
  95. Why was the tractor good at ice hockey? It always knew how to break the ice!
  96. Why did the tractor go to the opera? It loved the high notes!
  97. Why did the tractor go to the coffee shop? It needed to get de-soiled!
  98. What’s a tractor’s favorite holiday? Harvest Festival!
  99. Why did the tractor quit its job? It felt like it was going in circles!
  100. What do you call a tractor that’s also a doctor? A John Cure!
  101. Why are tractors bad at tug-of-war? They always get pulled into the mud!
  102. What’s a tractor’s favorite song? “Take Me Home, Country Roads”!
  103. Why did the tractor get a library card? It was tired of just plowing through books!
  104. Why are tractors so popular? They always make a big entrance!
  105. What do you call a tractor that won the lottery? A John Fortune!
  106. Why did the tractor start a rock band? It wanted to roll with the big wheels!
  107. Why did the tractor go to the museum? It wanted to see the ancient artifacts!
  108. What do you call a tractor that’s also a lawyer? A John Brief!
  109. Why did the tractor join the circus? It wanted to learn to juggle!
  110. Why are tractors bad at playing cards? They can’t deal with the pressure!
  111. What do you call a tractor in the forest? A John Bark!
  112. Why did the tractor start a talk show? It had a lot of dirt to dish out!
  113. What do you call a tractor that’s also a teacher? A John Tutor!
  114. Why are tractors bad at bowling? They always roll into the gutter!
  115. What do you call a tractor in the kitchen? A John Cook!
  116. Why did the tractor join a book club? It wanted to branch out!
  117. What do you call a tractor at a construction site? A John Build!
  118. Why did the tractor go to the spa? It needed to de-stress!
  119. What do you call a tractor at a beauty pageant? A John Glam!
  120. Why did the tractor start a gardening club? It had green thumbs!
  121. What do you call a tractor that’s also a DJ? A John Spin!
  122. Why are tractors so good at debates? They always stick to their points!
  123. What do you call a tractor in a fashion show? A John Model!
  124. Why did the tractor start a recycling program? It wanted to go green!
  125. What do you call a tractor at a fishing tournament? A John Catch!
  126. Why did the tractor start a knitting club? It wanted to weave a tight community!
  127. What do you call a tractor at an art exhibition? A John Canvas!
  128. Why did the tractor start a bakery? It wanted to knead a new hobby!
  129. What do you call a tractor at a music festival? A John Beat!
  130. Why did the tractor start a football team? It wanted to tackle a new challenge!
  131. What do you call a tractor at a magic show? A John Spell!
  132. Why did the tractor start a yoga class? It wanted to stretch its limits!
  133. What do you call a tractor at a gym? A John Fit!
  134. Why did the tractor start a book club? It wanted to cultivate a love for reading!
  135. What do you call a tractor at a comedy show? A John Laugh!
  136. Why did the tractor start a choir? It wanted to tune up its life!
  137. What do you call a tractor at a culinary competition? A John Chef!
  138. Why did the tractor start a painting class? It wanted to add color to its life!
  139. What do you call a tractor at a dance competition? A John Groove!
  140. Why did the tractor start a chess club? It wanted to checkmate its boredom!
  141. What do you call a tractor at a science fair? A John Genius!
  142. Why did the tractor start a theater group? It wanted to stage a revolution!
  143. What do you call a tractor at a film festival? A John Star!
  144. Why did the tractor start a wine club? It wanted to crush its routine!
  145. What do you call a tractor at a poetry reading? A John Verse!
  146. Why did the tractor start a fashion line? It wanted to style up the farm!
  147. What do you call a tractor at a baking competition? A John Baker!
  148. Why did the tractor start a cricket team? It wanted to hit a new innings!
  149. What do you call a tractor at a singing competition? A John Melody!
  150. Why did the tractor start a podcast? It had a lot of field stories to share!

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